Beyond Unsupportive: Wednesday Morning Rant

Desterknee

I'm so happy you've decided to leave, instead of asking us if you should.

Good luck. I hope it goes smoothly.

seltzermint555

Why can't he move tonight?

ThinLizzie0802

Thanks for all the support! My mind was certainly made up after the first comment, but I've subjected myself to arguments with him I will never win too many times, so I removed myself from the situation because he fights to hurt and I'm done fighting. Instead, I went to the gym and worked on my own things. He isn't going to drag me down with that bull****.

And as for waiting until Saturday...that is strictly a rent paid through then situation and legally I'm obligated. We both work full time so I won't see him much until then which is good. My PT and I will be moving his **** out and burning some cals while we do it!!

alishacupcake

Okay first.. you are beautiful. Honestly and I have no need to blow smoke up your tale. Second, he is SO not worth your time so don't waste any more of it on him. And like the previous posters, congratulations in not body slamming him when he made the comment about banging...

alishacupcake

I'm so happy you've decided to leave, instead of asking us if you should.

Good luck. I hope it goes smoothly.

Yes, this too!

mmckee10

I think your soon-to-be-moving-out-this-saturday-ex should actually be your comes-home-with-all-his-crap-in-the-yard-and-the-door-locked-tonight ex

YES.

ThinLizzie0802

So you are single?

Get in line, pal.

Haha that would be a yes!
A little flirting goes a long way to improve one's mood! Thanks guys

tiggerhammon

Why are we waiting until Saturday to kick him out?
I would happily pack his stuff for him and have it waiting for him when he got home.

seltzermint555

Thanks for all the support! My mind was certainly made up after the first comment, but I've subjected myself to arguments with him I will never win too many times, so I removed myself from the situation because he fights to hurt and I'm done fighting. Instead, I went to the gym and worked on my own things. He isn't going to drag me down with that bull****.

And as for waiting until Saturday...that is strictly a rent paid through then situation and legally I'm obligated. We both work full time so I won't see him much until then which is good. My PT and I will be moving his **** out and burning some cals while we do it!!

Yay! I am so glad he is outta there.

You sound strong and motivated and you're going to be so so so much happier without him...hurray for you!!

Lauren8239

How does he expect to "get the hot blonde" when he himself is so overweight? Oh the irony.

Good luck with your new found freedom. You deserve it. You have amazing self restraint......I think I would have decked him one. :flowerforyou:

tiggerhammon

Never mind. I actually went back and read more than the first 10 comments and figured it out.

ThinLizzie0802

I'm not a fan of "poor me by bf is a ****" but I've been doing well and feeling great and this situation just amazed me. So I needed to type it out, think it out, and now I will get on and up with my life!

lambchristie

Sounds like this upcoming Saturday your are going to be losing a lot of unhealthy, useless fat all at once. Now, that's what I call a Non-Scale Victory!

Well said!

abetterbrandi

I am so sorry for you having to hear those words from someone you were close with. That is extremely hurtful. That being said, I am beyond proud of you for saying this is unacceptable, I am worth more and moving on. You are going places, and doing so well. Let this be a step forward, and leave him and his negativity in the past.

Leonidas_meets_Spartacus

Your BF is a big jerk, but there are always two sides to a coin. Good you realize that you can't be together.

lambchristie

Thanks for all the support! My mind was certainly made up after the first comment, but I've subjected myself to arguments with him I will never win too many times, so I removed myself from the situation because he fights to hurt and I'm done fighting. Instead, I went to the gym and worked on my own things. He isn't going to drag me down with that bull****.

And as for waiting until Saturday...that is strictly a rent paid through then situation and legally I'm obligated. We both work full time so I won't see him much until then which is good. My PT and I will be moving his **** out and burning some cals while we do it!!

If he is NOT on the lease as you stated in your OP ... why are you legally obligated to keep him there? He doesn't have a legal leg to stand on ... tell him to stay elsewhere until Saturday and then he can come get his 'stuff' and be out of your life. Where he goes is no concern to you.

Cheers for your great attitude and using the gym to improve yourself and not bow to his low level. :flowerforyou:

eric_sg61

while i am a little surprised he made it past his first comment, i can't think of anything healthier at the moment than dropping this dead weight from your life

beerey05

That is crazy & 14lbs is amazing. You don't need anyone that is unsupportive in you're life, especially the person you come home to.
Good job for standing up for yourself and not putting up with that, there's someone amazing out there that will not only listen to you, but want to encourage you for your efforts.... Good luck on the rest of your journey

spikesmom

I was married to something very similar for almost 20 years. I' m so glad you got out before any permanent damage was done. When my ex-husband was angry, we all walked around him on tiptoe. He would say things specifically designed to p*** me off. When I got mad, he decided when it was time to forgive me (yes, HE decided when to forgive ME when he began a fight!) and then it was all supposed to be over because he said so. He would play hurt and confused when I was still mad. He'd tell me I was fat (to be fair, I was 5'5" and almost 200 lbs; I looked like a beach ball balanced on drinking straws) so I would begin a diet/exercise program and he would bring home gallons of my favorite ice cream and eat it in front of me. He hated to hear about my workouts, too.

I tell people I lost 220 pounds of unsightly weight on September 16, 2002. When they ask how, I tell them, "he went home to his mother." :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

Sounds like you dodged a bullet, girl! You deserve better. :flowerforyou:

My hubby is quite loving and appreciative of me, but he does buy me the fattening foods that I love(mint chocolate chip ice cream)!!!! Why oh why do men do that???

I'm sorry you BF is such a jerk. On to bigger and better things for you!! You deserve to be loved and appreciated

KHalseth

I've come to realize that he will never be proud, interested, supportive, etc, of anything I do. No congrats on a new job. No way to go for reaching a goal. No thanks for anything I do to try and brighten his day. Whatever his underlying issues are, I just can't help him try to figure them out anymore. And by help him I mean be an emotional punching bag.

Hate to say it, sounds like it was too much effort for him to move on and you were convienent for sex. Sometimes people get in a rut and they stay where they are even if they are no longer really into the relationship because it is easier than change.

Its better for both of you. If he was really committed to the relationship, he would have been more interested in your day and your workouts. Even if he was working against your changes because of fear of being left behing. That requires more caring than complete indifference.

ThinLizzie0802

Thanks for all the support! My mind was certainly made up after the first comment, but I've subjected myself to arguments with him I will never win too many times, so I removed myself from the situation because he fights to hurt and I'm done fighting. Instead, I went to the gym and worked on my own things. He isn't going to drag me down with that bull****.

And as for waiting until Saturday...that is strictly a rent paid through then situation and legally I'm obligated. We both work full time so I won't see him much until then which is good. My PT and I will be moving his **** out and burning some cals while we do it!!

If he is NOT on the lease as you stated in your OP ... why are you legally obligated to keep him there? He doesn't have a legal leg to stand on ... tell him to stay elsewhere until Saturday and then he can come get his 'stuff' and be out of your life. Where he goes is no concern to you.

Cheers for your great attitude and using the gym to improve yourself and not bow to his low level. :flowerforyou:

Even though he is not on the lease, he has been there long enough to establish legal tenancy. This is something I've looked into before with a roommate from years ago. I don't think I honestly would get into a legal battle with him. But as a said previously, he's paid up until Saturday and we are both working full time. I won't jeopardize someone's job when I can coexist until Saturday without it being detrimental to my life. I totally understand all the sentiments regarding kicking him out immediately, but I've established a situation that will work for me until Saturday when I have time to separate our belongings in a respectful and appropriate fashion. He may not be a respectful and appropriate person, but I'm not getting on his level.

TwirleySlims

Sounds like this upcoming Saturday your are going to be losing a lot of unhealthy, useless fat all at once. Now, that's what I call a Non-Scale Victory!

^^ Exactly! ^^

CMoeDee

Phew! I was stuck with an ex in an apartment once for 10 days. I did not handle it as well as you are. Props from a stranger to you! Good luck with your new life!

tchell99

Thanks for all the support! My mind was certainly made up after the first comment, but I've subjected myself to arguments with him I will never win too many times, so I removed myself from the situation because he fights to hurt and I'm done fighting. Instead, I went to the gym and worked on my own things. He isn't going to drag me down with that bull****.

And as for waiting until Saturday...that is strictly a rent paid through then situation and legally I'm obligated. We both work full time so I won't see him much until then which is good. My PT and I will be moving his **** out and burning some cals while we do it!!

If he is NOT on the lease as you stated in your OP ... why are you legally obligated to keep him there? He doesn't have a legal leg to stand on ... tell him to stay elsewhere until Saturday and then he can come get his 'stuff' and be out of your life. Where he goes is no concern to you.

Cheers for your great attitude and using the gym to improve yourself and not bow to his low level. :flowerforyou:

Even though he is not on the lease, he has been there long enough to establish legal tenancy. This is something I've looked into before with a roommate from years ago. I don't think I honestly would get into a legal battle with him. But as a said previously, he's paid up until Saturday and we are both working full time. I won't jeopardize someone's job when I can coexist until Saturday without it being detrimental to my life. I totally understand all the sentiments regarding kicking him out immediately, but I've established a situation that will work for me until Saturday when I have time to separate our belongings in a respectful and appropriate fashion. He may not be a respectful and appropriate person, but I'm not getting on his level.

You have struck a rare balance of class and self-advocacy - keep it going and good things are bound to happen for you.

AnninStPaul

Drag his crap to the curb. Change The Locks.

ThinLizzie0802

It is very tough to see someone you loved and know that you aren't and may never have been loved in return, or that you never were physically good enough. It sends a lot of questions about the last three years through my mind. However, I wasn't the best me that I could be then, and as much as I would have liked to show him the best me I can be (which is what I'm working on now) the universe has shown me that I just need to continue on this path and better things will come my way.

Nessiechickie

Kick his *kitten* to curb..... (done!):flowerforyou:
Throw his **** at him so it beans him in the head......:devil:
and find a hot gym partner :blushing:



Sorry to hear that no one should be talked to like that.

ninerbuff

Such is life. I lived with someone for 3 years and eventually gave up on the relationship because I couldn't stand how messy the house was all the time. And I did ALL the cleaning (still pretty much do today out of habit).
What usually happens in fall out is that couples either ignore problems or don't validate success. Which is why I tell my wife all the time how great she is and let her do all the talking.

A.C.E. Certified Personal/Group FitnessTrainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition

DSTMT

This sort of behaviour sounds familiar to me, is it possible that he's a narcissist? Not that it matters now, since he's not your problem anymore, but that sounds like pretty typical narcissist behaviour to me. Good for you for getting rid of him! You deserve someone who will see your value and appreciate you.

Chewy0513

You said you both gain weight and you are doing something about it. Sounds like he might be a bit jealous of your success.
Good luck to you, you are doing the right thing. No one deserves to be treated like that.