Beyond Unsupportive: Wednesday Morning Rant
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Thanks for all the support! My mind was certainly made up after the first comment, but I've subjected myself to arguments with him I will never win too many times, so I removed myself from the situation because he fights to hurt and I'm done fighting. Instead, I went to the gym and worked on my own things. He isn't going to drag me down with that bull****.
And as for waiting until Saturday...that is strictly a rent paid through then situation and legally I'm obligated. We both work full time so I won't see him much until then which is good. My PT and I will be moving his **** out and burning some cals while we do it!!
If he is NOT on the lease as you stated in your OP ... why are you legally obligated to keep him there? He doesn't have a legal leg to stand on ... tell him to stay elsewhere until Saturday and then he can come get his 'stuff' and be out of your life. Where he goes is no concern to you.
Cheers for your great attitude and using the gym to improve yourself and not bow to his low level. :flowerforyou:
Even though he is not on the lease, he has been there long enough to establish legal tenancy. This is something I've looked into before with a roommate from years ago. I don't think I honestly would get into a legal battle with him. But as a said previously, he's paid up until Saturday and we are both working full time. I won't jeopardize someone's job when I can coexist until Saturday without it being detrimental to my life. I totally understand all the sentiments regarding kicking him out immediately, but I've established a situation that will work for me until Saturday when I have time to separate our belongings in a respectful and appropriate fashion. He may not be a respectful and appropriate person, but I'm not getting on his level.0 -
Sounds like this upcoming Saturday your are going to be losing a lot of unhealthy, useless fat all at once. Now, that's what I call a Non-Scale Victory!
^^ Exactly! ^^0 -
Phew! I was stuck with an ex in an apartment once for 10 days. I did not handle it as well as you are. Props from a stranger to you! Good luck with your new life!0
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Thanks for all the support! My mind was certainly made up after the first comment, but I've subjected myself to arguments with him I will never win too many times, so I removed myself from the situation because he fights to hurt and I'm done fighting. Instead, I went to the gym and worked on my own things. He isn't going to drag me down with that bull****.
And as for waiting until Saturday...that is strictly a rent paid through then situation and legally I'm obligated. We both work full time so I won't see him much until then which is good. My PT and I will be moving his **** out and burning some cals while we do it!!
If he is NOT on the lease as you stated in your OP ... why are you legally obligated to keep him there? He doesn't have a legal leg to stand on ... tell him to stay elsewhere until Saturday and then he can come get his 'stuff' and be out of your life. Where he goes is no concern to you.
Cheers for your great attitude and using the gym to improve yourself and not bow to his low level. :flowerforyou:
Even though he is not on the lease, he has been there long enough to establish legal tenancy. This is something I've looked into before with a roommate from years ago. I don't think I honestly would get into a legal battle with him. But as a said previously, he's paid up until Saturday and we are both working full time. I won't jeopardize someone's job when I can coexist until Saturday without it being detrimental to my life. I totally understand all the sentiments regarding kicking him out immediately, but I've established a situation that will work for me until Saturday when I have time to separate our belongings in a respectful and appropriate fashion. He may not be a respectful and appropriate person, but I'm not getting on his level.
You have struck a rare balance of class and self-advocacy - keep it going and good things are bound to happen for you.0 -
Drag his crap to the curb. Change The Locks.0
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It is very tough to see someone you loved and know that you aren't and may never have been loved in return, or that you never were physically good enough. It sends a lot of questions about the last three years through my mind. However, I wasn't the best me that I could be then, and as much as I would have liked to show him the best me I can be (which is what I'm working on now) the universe has shown me that I just need to continue on this path and better things will come my way.0
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Kick his *kitten* to curb..... (done!):flowerforyou:
Throw his **** at him so it beans him in the head......:devil:
and find a hot gym partner :blushing:
Sorry to hear that no one should be talked to like that.0 -
Such is life. I lived with someone for 3 years and eventually gave up on the relationship because I couldn't stand how messy the house was all the time. And I did ALL the cleaning (still pretty much do today out of habit).
What usually happens in fall out is that couples either ignore problems or don't validate success. Which is why I tell my wife all the time how great she is and let her do all the talking.
A.C.E. Certified Personal/Group FitnessTrainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition0 -
This sort of behaviour sounds familiar to me, is it possible that he's a narcissist? Not that it matters now, since he's not your problem anymore, but that sounds like pretty typical narcissist behaviour to me. Good for you for getting rid of him! You deserve someone who will see your value and appreciate you.0
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You said you both gain weight and you are doing something about it. Sounds like he might be a bit jealous of your success.
Good luck to you, you are doing the right thing. No one deserves to be treated like that.0 -
Such is life. I lived with someone for 3 years and eventually gave up on the relationship because I couldn't stand how messy the house was all the time. And I did ALL the cleaning (still pretty much do today out of habit).
What usually happens in fall out is that couples either ignore problems or don't validate success. Which is why I tell my wife all the time how great she is and let her do all the talking.
A.C.E. Certified Personal/Group FitnessTrainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
The validate success part is a huge kicker for me in this situation. I'm almost more offended by the "I'm not impressed don't talk to me about your workouts I don't care and it's weird" comment than the other. I am very proud of myself for taking charge, and I was stunned that he didn't share that feeling. Now I know how important it is for me to be with someone who recognizes and acknowledges positive change like I do.0 -
Thanks for all the support! My mind was certainly made up after the first comment, but I've subjected myself to arguments with him I will never win too many times, so I removed myself from the situation because he fights to hurt and I'm done fighting. Instead, I went to the gym and worked on my own things. He isn't going to drag me down with that bull****.
And as for waiting until Saturday...that is strictly a rent paid through then situation and legally I'm obligated. We both work full time so I won't see him much until then which is good. My PT and I will be moving his **** out and burning some cals while we do it!!
If he is NOT on the lease as you stated in your OP ... why are you legally obligated to keep him there? He doesn't have a legal leg to stand on ... tell him to stay elsewhere until Saturday and then he can come get his 'stuff' and be out of your life. Where he goes is no concern to you.
Cheers for your great attitude and using the gym to improve yourself and not bow to his low level. :flowerforyou:
Even though he is not on the lease, he has been there long enough to establish legal tenancy. This is something I've looked into before with a roommate from years ago. I don't think I honestly would get into a legal battle with him. But as a said previously, he's paid up until Saturday and we are both working full time. I won't jeopardize someone's job when I can coexist until Saturday without it being detrimental to my life. I totally understand all the sentiments regarding kicking him out immediately, but I've established a situation that will work for me until Saturday when I have time to separate our belongings in a respectful and appropriate fashion. He may not be a respectful and appropriate person, but I'm not getting on his level.
OP, you are an amazingly beautiful, intelligent, and self-aware woman. My props to you for realizing that your life needed to change, taking those steps, and not letting your ex derail you. :flowerforyou: Also, I applaud your character for getting rid of "220 lbs of unsightly weight" (or however much that pile o' crap weighs) in an honest and legal manner. This way he's gone for good on Saturday night and you won't have to see him several more times in court! Congrats and I can't wait for an update on Sunday morning :bigsmile: :bigsmile:0 -
Thanks for all the support! My mind was certainly made up after the first comment, but I've subjected myself to arguments with him I will never win too many times, so I removed myself from the situation because he fights to hurt and I'm done fighting. Instead, I went to the gym and worked on my own things. He isn't going to drag me down with that bull****.
And as for waiting until Saturday...that is strictly a rent paid through then situation and legally I'm obligated. We both work full time so I won't see him much until then which is good. My PT and I will be moving his **** out and burning some cals while we do it!!
If he is NOT on the lease as you stated in your OP ... why are you legally obligated to keep him there? He doesn't have a legal leg to stand on ... tell him to stay elsewhere until Saturday and then he can come get his 'stuff' and be out of your life. Where he goes is no concern to you.
Cheers for your great attitude and using the gym to improve yourself and not bow to his low level. :flowerforyou:
Even though he is not on the lease, he has been there long enough to establish legal tenancy. This is something I've looked into before with a roommate from years ago. I don't think I honestly would get into a legal battle with him. But as a said previously, he's paid up until Saturday and we are both working full time. I won't jeopardize someone's job when I can coexist until Saturday without it being detrimental to my life. I totally understand all the sentiments regarding kicking him out immediately, but I've established a situation that will work for me until Saturday when I have time to separate our belongings in a respectful and appropriate fashion. He may not be a respectful and appropriate person, but I'm not getting on his level.
OP, you are an amazingly beautiful, intelligent, and self-aware woman. My props to you for realizing that your life needed to change, taking those steps, and not letting your ex derail you. :flowerforyou: Also, I applaud your character for getting rid of "220 lbs of unsightly weight" (or however much that pile o' crap weighs) in an honest and legal manner. This way he's gone for good on Saturday night and you won't have to see him several more times in court! Congrats and I can't wait for an update on Sunday morning :bigsmile: :bigsmile:
Thank you!0 -
People we love sure know how to hurt us huh? I think the most hurtful part was the blond remark , he threw that in becasue you were brunet - I had an ex that did that all the time ... Jerk Face that he was ....Well he got his blond hahaha and she's an alcoholic and crazy to boot ... I kind of feel sorry for him ....
Good luck !! I think you are so smart the way you are handeling it.0 -
The validate success part is a huge kicker for me in this situation. I'm almost more offended by the "I'm not impressed don't talk to me about your workouts I don't care and it's weird" comment than the other. I am very proud of myself for taking charge, and I was stunned that he didn't share that feeling. Now I know how important it is for me to be with someone who recognizes and acknowledges positive change like I do.
Honestly, his comment sounds like pure jealousy. There is absolutely nothing "weird" about taking care of your self and the fact that he says he doesn't care about about any aspect of your life, let alone your great workouts, tells you all you need to know about his character.
Congratulations on taking charge of your life and making positive changes for your own physical and mental well-being. Neither is easy and there are plenty of people who have stayed in worse situations simply because it is easy. You should be so proud of yourself for everything you're doing now. Best of luck. :flowerforyou:0 -
I'm not sure he would live until Saturday!0
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I'm not sure he would live until Saturday!
Had it been six months ago I would have let my ego and pride take over and would have fought tooth and nail with him. But I learned the hard way after many fights that he is just trying to hurt me not fix anything and I just end up more tired and hurt and angry the more I try to defend myself. Finally realizing I had it in me to just walk away has been such a relief. Lots of things are worth fighting for and over and about, but he is no longer one of them!0 -
I am excited for you! I remember when I finally got up the nerve to move out & leave my awful ex. It was scary/sad but as soon as I did it, it was the most amazing feeling ever!!!! For the first time in years I was happy.0
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The only bang this guy should get is the sound that the brick would make from me smashing it up against his skull.
What a piece of sheeeeeit. Cut the dead weight and keep on trucking.0
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