Cutting down on your friends list
I'm curious, if you're in the habit of thinning your FL every now and then, do you have any particular quota that must be met for them to stay on? Like for instance, there's someone in my friends list who hasn't logged on in a couple months. But I remember there was a time when I went away for a couple months and came back. Do you ever get hate mail when you unfriend people? Have you ever felt like you were unjustly unfriended? Have you ever felt the need to keep certain friends in order to placate the masses? <--- well, not so much MFP but this has happened on FB. lol
I'm just rambling.
:drinker: :drinker: :drinker:
I'm just rambling.
:drinker: :drinker: :drinker:
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I don't delete people. I feel no need to delete anyone and I don't even know why people delete people. I think one person deleted me but idk and idc. The only thing I am real strict about is only adding females. On all my social networks I usually only add females and occasionally a male here or there. But I feel like I can be myself more and broadcast more comfortably when its just only females. But this isn't facebook or instagram so I am not as strict on this site as I am on all my other sites.0
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I like to keep my friend list small. I have a good group of friends on my list. In fact, I've had some new friends poach some of my closest friends. :laugh:
I don't like voyeurs on my FL. There have been a few people who add me then never interact at all. Weeks go by without any interaction and I wonder why they even added me especially since my food diary is private. They get deleted. I have no problem deleting people like that. Who keeps friends in real life that never interact with them?
I am much, much more strict on Facebook than on MFP. I might accept a random request for friendship here, but not on FB.0 -
delete after 20 days of no show... but there are a few exceptions since I've known them from other sites.0
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Do you ever get hate mail when you unfriend people? Have you ever felt like you were unjustly unfriended? Have you ever felt the need to keep certain friends in order to placate the masses? <--- well, not so much MFP but this has happened on FB. lol
Nope, no hate mail. I did have one person who came back later and asked to be added because she was going to be active on MFP again. I happily added her back to my list.
I don't keep anyone to placate the masses. There are few close friends on MFP I wouldn't delete just because they're such true friends, but pretty much anyone else is fair game. :laugh:0 -
I guess I don't understand why it would matter. I probably have friends who haven't logged in for a while. Since they don't post anything, doesn't bother me. I don't even know how to find out who's on there if they aren't posting.
Only reason I'd take someone off my friends list is if they were doing something that bothered me.0 -
I sometimes delete people who have never even said a word to me since I added them. I feel bad for doing it, but I would rather focus on the people whom I talk to regularly. It is just easier to be supportive of everyone when the FL is smaller. I have never gotten hate mail for defriending someone. If I did, I would probably think they were crazy.0
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I like to keep my friend list small. I have a good group of friends on my list. In fact, I've had some new friends poach some of my closest friends. :laugh:
I don't like voyeurs on my FL. There have been a few people who add me then never interact at all. Weeks go by without any interaction and I wonder why they even added me especially since my food diary is private. They get deleted. I have no problem deleting people like that. Who keeps friends in real life that never interact with them?
This is just completely out of curiosity, but why do you feel the need to keep your diary private? I have no problem if people want to see what I eat and sometimes it helps them if they're struggling to figure out healthy choices.0 -
Ooh, how do you delete from feed? That'd be much nicer than deleting whiney people.
ETA: I delete if diary's private - what's the point if you can't pinch dinners?0 -
I have only deleted 1 since joining MFP and it was because he was chatting inappropriately ! I am not here to have phone sex, I am here working on my health ! LOL0
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I delete a friend who has not been active for more than 30 days. I'll happily add them back if they return to MFP and send another friend request. I keep my list small, because it's easier to interact with a few, rather than trying to manage a list that is so large I have a difficult time remembering details that are important.
I'm not on Facebook (just twitter), and try not to use MFP like a clone of Facebook. I like the fact that there are certain topic categories in the Community section that guide the discussions, otherwise conversations tend to stray way off of health, fitness, and proper eating.0 -
I've deleted people for being too active on my news feed. Or too religious.0
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So weird this topic came up today. I just went into my friend list and deleted some people that hadn't logged in for a while. I figure if they haven't been in for 4-6 months, then they have dropped out. If they come back and friend me, then great I will add them back. This is the first time I have cleaned out my friend list. No particular reason I did it either, just that I was looking around.0
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I guess I don't understand why it would matter. I probably have friends who haven't logged in for a while. Since they don't post anything, doesn't bother me. I don't even know how to find out who's on there if they aren't posting.
Only reason I'd take someone off my friends list is if they were doing something that bothered me.
I agree... seems no reason, I mean if they aren't posting they aren't bothering you or anyone else and they might come back. The only reason I would take someone off my friends list is if they are doing something that bothered me.0 -
I will go through every now and then and remove people who don't log in or deactivated. Other than that, I don't really delete,0
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There are a few comments that i would lie to say:
1. I only delete people that either disappears for a long time, or come on once every three months, those people are annoying to me.
2. People that dont interact with me on a daily thing, or someone that isnot committed to loosing weight, and think this is just a big joke.0 -
I delete people who haven't logged in for over a month. I do this because these same people tend to come back over and over and over again, log in for a couple days, and then disappear again. I want people who are consistent, who get to know me. I've found that the more consistent my friends are, the more consistent *I* am. If they show up every day, so do I. I want to be able to log my workouts and update my status and comment on theirs to show I'm trying just as hard as they are.0
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I delete if there's no interaction, you creep me out, or you haven't logged in in a long time.
Even a nice set of abs isn't enough to keep you off the chopping block.0 -
I'd like to say there's some rhyme or reason to my system but that'd be a lie. Like one of my friends recently said, I run my list like a medieval monarch. Sometimes there's no good reason behind my decision-making.
But in general, I keep people with whom I have or have had regular communication. Some people will go missing for months and I keep them because at one time we chatted every day and I hope they'll come back. My oldest MFP friends also get passes on long absences because I honestly can't remember a time when they weren't on my list. I usually delete if a person has been gone for more than a month though. Also if I add someone and a week or two goes by with no interaction I'll go ahead and delete. I delete for creeptastic messages or spamming my feed with Shakeology or similar.
I've never gotten any hate mail for deleting someone. So far.0 -
I keep people I like, even if they haven't logged on for a while. I admit there are a few that I don't really like and keep on because they like me, and that's OK. But I don't delete people who haven't logged on in a while unless I know they're not coming back.0
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This is just completely out of curiosity, but why do you feel the need to keep your diary private? I have no problem if people want to see what I eat and sometimes it helps them if they're struggling to figure out healthy choices.
I've been here 650 days. For many months, I used to have the diary public. There were mostly good comments, but occasionally there were comments about how much I ate, what I ate (" You had 1.5 avocado today?..do you know the fat content of that" (true comment)" or water nazis telling me I had to drink more water blah blah, so I just closed the diary. I find I'm more honest about portions and intake if only I see my diary. In the end, this is very much a personal journey and the only person I'm accountable to is myself.0 -
I manage it pretty closely. It's interesting. the more you do that, the more dedicated FL you wind up with. Almost no one flakes anymore. They are everyday loggers. That's what I want.
But, I do enjoy a smaller FL. It's more fun and more personal, and you get to know people better. the larger the list, the more difficult it is.
I love the friends I have. They're dedicated, funny, witty, and very active. I like keeping a small list of tight-knit friends over 300 friends who don't know me at all.0 -
I'm not a friend collector. I love having friends but can't see the point of having friends who never interact with me. And for me, I don't want to be friends with hundreds of people that I will never interact with myself. So, every once in a while, I'll delete those with whom I've had no communication.
I accept all friend requests, though. I keep the ones I click with, and delete the rest. And honestly, I don't feel guilty about it at all.0 -
No quota. I go through my list every few weeks. If someone hasn't logged in for awhile I check on them. If I get no response, they are gone. Also if I look at a user and thing Who the F*** are they....they get the button.0
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I delete people who do not support me. By that I mean people who do not "like" or comment on my posts, achievements, food diary, losses, etc... I don't expect every friend to comment on every post, of course, but I have had some that don't ever bother.0
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I don't delete anyone. If they are getting on my nerves I just hide them from my news feed. No one ever has to know. :bigsmile:0
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I sometimes delete people from my FL just for fun.
True story.0 -
I only cut those who are not wholesome in their communication -- I mean, if I have to dig through a garbage can to dig out a piece of candy, it is not much worth it... I choose not to read through the "F" word or a barrage of other "four letter words", though I am not the thought police type so that I would cut a person for any chance choice word that they should utter. However, if every other word is the "F" word or worse, they have to go... I can think of one time in the past two years I cut a person and within 24 hours of them requesting my friending them, I released them... simply because I just knew that we were incompatible on those grounds.
As far as somebody who has not been on for 6 months, that does not bother me.. I mean, it is not like they are clogging up my feed or anything... If they are not online, they are not costing me any time or energy. And should they return, I try to make a post saying Welcome back.. perhaps that bit of encouragement may help them stick it out.
Why do people leave the site? Sometimes a lack of commitment, sometimes an unusually busy schedule... sometimes perhaps even an economic hard time that meant they could not readily jump online and post... It could even be an illness or a a family illness.
Other reasons I suppose I would unfriend would be if I found out a person were underage (particularly female)... I know of other teachers with pulled credentials because they interacted with underage people online (albeit in a compromising way but I don't want to take any chances with stuff like that)... Finally somebody that was particularly bothersome with their nutritional program could not stay... That being said, I have some great friends who have been a support to me who I know are involved in various programs and even have offered me opportunities... BUT they have never been pushy about it and continue to be friends though I chose a different nutritional direction... Those are always welcome... But those who would "preach Fat-burn-o-matic-o-care" to me day and night would not stay on my list very long... That being said so far, I have been blessed to not have to cut anybody for that.0 -
I delete anyone who:
-promotes disordered eating
-regularly nets fewer than 1200 calories a day (unless they're like 5' or under!)
-supports pseudo-science like detoxes, cleanses or fasting
-believes there is such a thing as "good" and "bad" food
-doesn't regularly record their intake
-doesn't interact or use their account
-annoys me for some other reason
I like to be ruthless :-)
ETA: Having said that, I will accept requests from just about anyone and give them a decent chance first!0
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