Cutting down on your friends list

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  • jonnythan
    jonnythan Posts: 10,161 Member
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    I keep people I like, even if they haven't logged on for a while. I admit there are a few that I don't really like and keep on because they like me, and that's OK. But I don't delete people who haven't logged on in a while unless I know they're not coming back.
  • Booksandbeaches
    Booksandbeaches Posts: 1,791 Member
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    This is just completely out of curiosity, but why do you feel the need to keep your diary private? I have no problem if people want to see what I eat and sometimes it helps them if they're struggling to figure out healthy choices.

    I've been here 650 days. For many months, I used to have the diary public. There were mostly good comments, but occasionally there were comments about how much I ate, what I ate (" You had 1.5 avocado today?..do you know the fat content of that" (true comment)" or water nazis telling me I had to drink more water blah blah, so I just closed the diary. I find I'm more honest about portions and intake if only I see my diary. In the end, this is very much a personal journey and the only person I'm accountable to is myself.
  • Booksandbeaches
    Booksandbeaches Posts: 1,791 Member
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    I manage it pretty closely. It's interesting. the more you do that, the more dedicated FL you wind up with. Almost no one flakes anymore. They are everyday loggers. That's what I want.


    But, I do enjoy a smaller FL. It's more fun and more personal, and you get to know people better. the larger the list, the more difficult it is.

    I love the friends I have. They're dedicated, funny, witty, and very active. I like keeping a small list of tight-knit friends over 300 friends who don't know me at all.
  • 19TaraLynn84
    19TaraLynn84 Posts: 739 Member
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    I'm not a friend collector. I love having friends but can't see the point of having friends who never interact with me. And for me, I don't want to be friends with hundreds of people that I will never interact with myself. So, every once in a while, I'll delete those with whom I've had no communication.

    I accept all friend requests, though. I keep the ones I click with, and delete the rest. And honestly, I don't feel guilty about it at all.
  • JenniTheVeggie
    JenniTheVeggie Posts: 2,474 Member
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    No quota. I go through my list every few weeks. If someone hasn't logged in for awhile I check on them. If I get no response, they are gone. Also if I look at a user and thing Who the F*** are they....they get the button.
  • sillyvalentine
    sillyvalentine Posts: 460 Member
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    I delete people who do not support me. By that I mean people who do not "like" or comment on my posts, achievements, food diary, losses, etc... I don't expect every friend to comment on every post, of course, but I have had some that don't ever bother.
  • Blue801
    Blue801 Posts: 442
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    I don't delete anyone. If they are getting on my nerves I just hide them from my news feed. No one ever has to know. :bigsmile:
  • jofjltncb6
    jofjltncb6 Posts: 34,415 Member
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    I sometimes delete people from my FL just for fun.

    True story.
  • kdeaux1959
    kdeaux1959 Posts: 2,675 Member
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    I only cut those who are not wholesome in their communication -- I mean, if I have to dig through a garbage can to dig out a piece of candy, it is not much worth it... I choose not to read through the "F" word or a barrage of other "four letter words", though I am not the thought police type so that I would cut a person for any chance choice word that they should utter. However, if every other word is the "F" word or worse, they have to go... I can think of one time in the past two years I cut a person and within 24 hours of them requesting my friending them, I released them... simply because I just knew that we were incompatible on those grounds.

    As far as somebody who has not been on for 6 months, that does not bother me.. I mean, it is not like they are clogging up my feed or anything... If they are not online, they are not costing me any time or energy. And should they return, I try to make a post saying Welcome back.. perhaps that bit of encouragement may help them stick it out.

    Why do people leave the site? Sometimes a lack of commitment, sometimes an unusually busy schedule... sometimes perhaps even an economic hard time that meant they could not readily jump online and post... It could even be an illness or a a family illness.

    Other reasons I suppose I would unfriend would be if I found out a person were underage (particularly female)... I know of other teachers with pulled credentials because they interacted with underage people online (albeit in a compromising way but I don't want to take any chances with stuff like that)... Finally somebody that was particularly bothersome with their nutritional program could not stay... That being said, I have some great friends who have been a support to me who I know are involved in various programs and even have offered me opportunities... BUT they have never been pushy about it and continue to be friends though I chose a different nutritional direction... Those are always welcome... But those who would "preach Fat-burn-o-matic-o-care" to me day and night would not stay on my list very long... That being said so far, I have been blessed to not have to cut anybody for that.
  • GertrudeHorse
    GertrudeHorse Posts: 646 Member
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    I delete anyone who:
    -promotes disordered eating
    -regularly nets fewer than 1200 calories a day (unless they're like 5' or under!)
    -supports pseudo-science like detoxes, cleanses or fasting
    -believes there is such a thing as "good" and "bad" food
    -doesn't regularly record their intake
    -doesn't interact or use their account
    -annoys me for some other reason

    I like to be ruthless :-)

    ETA: Having said that, I will accept requests from just about anyone and give them a decent chance first!
  • ItsCasey
    ItsCasey Posts: 4,022 Member
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    It's pretty simple. If I really like you, I won't delete you even if you've been gone for months. If you're a new friend or someone I just don't interact with much, I'll delete you after a week of not logging in unless I know why you've been gone (vacation, taking a break, etc.). If you want to add me when you come back, fine.

    Otherwise, I delete people for saying dumb things on a regular basis (or for saying something I find so unacceptable that I can't overlook it even once), for rage quitting, for getting really extreme with their diet/exercise habits, etc. I don't want to have to scroll through 9 pages of crap on my news feed to get to the posts from people I like.

    ETA: I do get messages on occasion from people I've deleted, wanting to know why. But unless I feel like I personally owe you an explanation, you're not likely to get one.
  • BondBomb
    BondBomb Posts: 1,781 Member
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    I just came back after a little break. After a few years on the site I needed it. I was really happy to see that only like one of two people deleted me. So I think I will just keep everyone from now on. I underestimated how great it felt that 146 people liked me enough to tolerate my absence. Then again the same people tolerate my presence so clearly they are all insane.
  • PetulantOne
    PetulantOne Posts: 2,131 Member
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    I'd like to say there's some rhyme or reason to my system but that'd be a lie. Like one of my friends recently said, I run my list like a medieval monarch. Sometimes there's no good reason behind my decision-making.

    But in general, I keep people with whom I have or have had regular communication. Some people will go missing for months and I keep them because at one time we chatted every day and I hope they'll come back. My oldest MFP friends also get passes on long absences because I honestly can't remember a time when they weren't on my list. I usually delete if a person has been gone for more than a month though. Also if I add someone and a week or two goes by with no interaction I'll go ahead and delete. I delete for creeptastic messages or spamming my feed with Shakeology or similar.

    I've never gotten any hate mail for deleting someone. So far.

    This is me as well. I've also deleted people for large amounts of religious posts. Everyone is entitled to their beliefs and normally it doesn't bother me, but I've had a few friends that were a little over the top.
  • jonnythan
    jonnythan Posts: 10,161 Member
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    I admit I'm a little confused by people who delete others because they're not 'dedicated' enough. MFP is just a tool. The people you're talking to, and about, are real people. Just because they're not super-dedicated to food logging doesn't mean they aren't worthwhile or stop being my friends. Honestly, for a large portion of my FL I have no idea how 'dedicated' they are to logging food. They're generally on my FL because they're smart, reasonable people with a good head on their shoulders who say interesting and/or amusing and insightful things. They're on my friends list because they're just good people that I actually like, regardless of how often their consecutive days counter resets. I don't see the sense in kicking these people to the curb because they're not sufficiently dedicated to their diary.

    Yeah, I definitely have some people on there that are incredibly dedicated to nutrition and exercise. They know who they are, and I draw a surprising amount of inspiration and strength from them. But there are also others that are incredibly dedicated to nutrition and exercise but they're not on my FL because I just don't like them that much. I interact with people I enjoy interacting with, and I keep those people around.

    Worthwhile human beings that I actually get along with are surprisingly hard to come by, so I try to keep the ones I find whether they're sufficiently hardcore about MFP or not.
  • Achrya
    Achrya Posts: 16,913 Member
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    I delete who I want when I want because I want.
  • HawkeyeTy
    HawkeyeTy Posts: 681 Member
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    I delete who I want when I want because I want.

    QFT
  • RhineDHP
    RhineDHP Posts: 1,025 Member
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    I delete who I want when I want because I want.

    tumblr_inline_ms3avaRpJz1qz4rgp.gif
  • jofjltncb6
    jofjltncb6 Posts: 34,415 Member
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    I admit I'm a little confused by people who delete others because they're not 'dedicated' enough. MFP is just a tool. The people you're talking to, and about, are real people. Just because they're not super-dedicated to food logging doesn't mean they aren't worthwhile or stop being my friends. Honestly, for a large portion of my FL I have no idea how 'dedicated' they are to logging food. They're generally on my FL because they're smart, reasonable people with a good head on their shoulders who say interesting and/or amusing and insightful things. They're on my friends list because they're just good people that I actually like, regardless of how often their consecutive days counter resets. I don't see the sense in kicking these people to the curb because they're not sufficiently dedicated to their diary.

    Yeah, I definitely have some people on there that are incredibly dedicated to nutrition and exercise. They know who they are, and I draw a surprising amount of inspiration and strength from them. But there are also others that are incredibly dedicated to nutrition and exercise but they're not on my FL because I just don't like them that much. I interact with people I enjoy interacting with, and I keep those people around.

    Worthwhile human beings that I actually get along with are surprisingly hard to come by, so I try to keep the ones I find whether they're sufficiently hardcore about MFP or not.

    DELETED.
  • RhineDHP
    RhineDHP Posts: 1,025 Member
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    I don't delete anyone. If they are getting on my nerves I just hide them from my news feed. No one ever has to know. :bigsmile:

    Yeah I just recently found out you could do this, and implemented it. It's not like I dislike the person, just that they update like every 2 seconds. lol

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