Can't stop bingeing and hate myself :(

Jestinia

I have the same problem. I'm trying some head-work for it. It runs like this:

Yes, I want to eat an entire package of cookies with frosting on top. But I want to lose/maintain my weight more.

It's okay to want to go to the store, buy Mac & Cheese, burrito shells, and salsa, and create the most disgustingly delicious binge food ever. I am visualizing it. I can almost taste it. Ultimately, I'm not actually going to go do it. Not because I can't. I can. But I want something else more. I want to be healthy, energetic, and not have that hateful post-binge depression. Oh yeah, and I want to wear my favorite jeans, too!

Yes, I could go to the store right now and clean out the bakery aisle, but why don't I go to the thrift store instead and try on clothes? Or go to a movie? Even a movie costs less than a binge. Or I could save the money I would have spent, put it in a jar, and buy something really nice that has nothing to do with food.

I want to go down to the kitchen and get into my kid's cookies. But they're his cookies, not mine. Sure, I could just buy him more, but why don't I watch a DVD instead?

Yep, I'm stressed. I'm angry. I'm ready to rampage, and since I can't rampage without all sorts of social and possibly legal woes, I want to turn all that justified rage inwards and fill my belly to bursting. But I'm not going to. Because I deserve better and no one and nothing is going to stop me from having better. So I'm going to punch the hell out of this pillow and lift these stupid weights and run in place and scream at the top of my lungs (neighbors permitting) until I'm not furious and craving anymore.

Yeah, I was a dummy and ate something for breakfast that has turned me into the human food shoveler. Okay, let's figure out what did it and not do it again. Meanwhile, it's okay to crave and feel like I'm starving. I will just deal with it today and not give in. Yep, it sucks, but know what sucks more? That post-binge, bloated feeling-like-a-massive-failure misery.


I can't say changing my thinking like this is foolproof, but it helps a lot.

Edit because I forgot a major one: Yes, I'm strangely craving and hungry. But I bet I'm just thirsty. (Chugs water). Oh, that didn't work? I bet I'm sleep deprived. (Goes to sleep).

mgpearce4

Hey all! I am trying my best to be a cheerleader for everyone. If you need motivation/support feel free to add me. I struggle at times too. We can do this!

markusalan2

i can totally relate to your situation. just like quiting smoking i can only tell you my expirience. for me i found that having a goal that was worth driving me forward in a positive direction. for smoking it was meeting a woman that i fell in love with. from there it was a matter of changing my daily habits. same holds true for food. i invite you to explore your true drive in you life. your kids? husband? find something that pulls you to be able to force youself to change to benifit your goal whatever that may be.

i eat a lot !!! but using fitness pal i was able to see how much i really was eating. it started with buying a scale. understanding portion sizes and week by week teach yourself what works in your lifestyle.

if you leave it to guess work and not logging in your food your only cheating yourself. if you do eat some cake. put it in. after you see how much that cake eats up your calories and has no real nutrition you well learn to substitue better choices. you can definently eat cake and lose weight but you have to have one or the other and fit it into your daily life style and goals.

as far as excersise goes i would leave walking for strictly recreation. its not a fair trade for burning calories and your time. its as simple as get your body moving and using all your muscles at once ( full body excersises) at your own pace work with only your body wieght ( asuming you are mobile ) body squats , jumping jacks,,,,if its to strenuous just modify it. start slow and progess.

most usefull thing you can do besides using fitness pal is to make a log book you can take with you. i print my daily caloires and put it with my workout diary in this,
if you dont know what you did you have no way to see where you need to adjust to keep losing weight. so if you lose some wieght and then stop you can simply go back and see that you only worked out 2 days for the week and ate to many caloires. that for me makes it so i can get out of my head thinking that im just not able to lose wiedht no matter what i do. you can lose wight you just need to adjust the three key ingridients.....sleep,,,,,excersise,,,,,,,and caloires,,,,,iF YOUR NOT LOSING WIEGHT THE ANSWER LIES IN THOSE 3 KEY FACTORS.

step 1: google your bmr, figure out how many calories you need a day. start with your actual wieght.

step 2: google a macronutrient calculator. enter in your numbers from step one and follow the steps to calcuate the proper balance of nutruients you need and how many you need per meal.

step 3 : enter this into my fitness pal for your goals. a good rule of thumb to lose healthy bodyfat and keep your muscle is to restrict yourself only 500 caloires a day from your total needed calories.

step 4: you tube is my best friend. search for healthy alternative recipies and add one to replace a bad food in your current diet once a week. like me i no longer eat any bad food i have traded them all for healthy alternatives but it took me a few months.

step 5: you tube quick full body work outs and follow them. work yourself up to one a day . most of them are 15 minutes long and can be fun. DO NOT BUY DVD'S OR WORK OUT PROGRAMS !!!!!!! everything you need is on you tube.

last thing think of your calories is like having a daily spending allowance. your only have so much and can only buy som many different things. so you have to spend wisely or youll find you dont have necesaties. having children im sure you learned this from expirence. now just aplly it to your calories.

hope this long rant of horribible spelling errors helps lol

specky4eyes

Thanks again all you lovely people - somehow I am back on form and I'm certain it's all thanks to your support. Xx