first weigh – in; shock & horror

mikeybsgrl

hi! I enjoyed reading your post and thank you for sharing with everyone.the greatest thing is that you have recognized the problem, even if you have done so before, you seem to be at a better realization. my father at his heaviest was 425lbs. he I did have gastric bypass which helped him lose 215lbs. sadly, I lost my daddy at the age of 48. he had a few heart attacks, as well as mini strokes before he passed away. he had a stent put in his heart less than a year before he passed due to his arteries being blocked. he was also diabetic, hypertensive, high cholesterol, suffered with sleep apnea, as well as high blood pressure. all of these conditions were linked directly to obesity and his way of eating. I love my daddy more than anything! I miss him so much; he was my best friend. he still is. even at my age of 31, a girl still needs her daddy. I was 10 weeks pregnant when he passed and it was the only thing that kept me going through his death.losing weight is extremely hard work and takes lots of dedication!! I am by no means obese currently. at my heaviest I was up to 185lbs. I eat a lot of protein and green leafy vegetables. I snack on peanuts, beef jerky, and occasionally cheese. I try to follow a low carb diet. this way of dieting and walking about 30 minutes 5 days a week reduced my weight to 135lbs. also when my dad was alive he was there for me through the weight loss process. I called him every day and we would talk about what we were eating, as he was living this lifestyle too. I strongly encourage you to get healthy and make a better life for yourself. you will feel so much better emotionally and physically. push through the pain. even walking 30-60 minutes a day will provide you with so much benefits.and find someone to talk to daily about what you're eating; it really helps. don't drink anything but water...that's tons of calories right there!! there's so many substitutions you can make!! I can even check this daily if you need some support. good luck with things.

_chiaroscuro

snudgie,

It's day 2 now. How are things? I've been checking this since last I posted, hoping you'd come back and share your thoughts.

lavendy17

I can imagine that looking ahead at this journey seems long and hard. It will be. But remember, it doesn't matter how long it will take you, because time passes anyway.

Now, what you are going to do will require tremendous emotional support. I honestly think, that if you can afford it, seek help from a psychologist or something. I don't mean this in an insulting way. I think you have a very tough road ahead and it could significantly benefit you. Weight gain carries a lot of issues and weight loss releases them and shoves them in your face. A shrink can help diffuse emotional bombs so you can move forward stronger.

Your story was very moving and I truly wish you all the strength needed to get back to your happy place.

All the best!

wibutterflymagic

Your mental change to want to make a body change is the most important first step. Good job!

Take this very slowly. DO NOT make a lot of changes at once! You will get overwhelmed and give up.

I would suggest starting with small amounts of exercise like the walk you mentioned. Just walking will do A LOT for you. There is no need to completely change your eating habits all at once. If you're a soda drinker, try switching out water for the soda by 50-75%. Instead of the fries with your burger get a salad(without cheese) and a small amount of dressing(2-3 tablespoons). Just make more conscience choices with your meals.....less fried and more baked, broiled etc. and more vegetables.

Get a food scale. That is very important!

I would put your calorie deficit at no more than 1lb per week. Slow and consistant is the way to go. You want to make lifestyle changes not create a "diet". Diet's are restrictive and don't work for the long haul.

Friend me if you want someone that will give honest feedback.

Edit: Oh, and set small goals for yourself. Don't worry about the end. Start with a 10lb loss or being able to walk everyday for 30mins. The goals don't have to be scale related to show your success.

chickauthentic

What goes up must come down. You're taking a step in the right direction now, and I forecast a record low in your future. Best wishes for a healthy transformation!

handyrunner

I commend you for having the courage to even voice your fears...its definitly a first step. You can do this..itll be hard but you can. As you can see there has been quite the outpouring of support here, as there usually is, so your not alone. There will be set backs, there will be slips..dont let them get you down. In time you'll back at all of this and that pride in your accomplishment will be awesome.

bradXdale

Well, this has been day one. Today I weighed myself for the first time in a long time. The magic number: 430.4 Lbs. Though at my heaviest before this particular weigh-in got close – 425, this is my absolute record high, and it's completely knocked me for six.

bxd: You are taking the first step. You are realizing what has happened and that it is not okay to live like this, trust me it takes a lot for people to take this first step. A 1,000 mile walk starts with a step

Not that I have a right to be surprised, as I've spent the last couple of months on the sofa, watching TV, reading, and scoffing like a pig. I tell myself I cannot exercise or do small basic things around the house because my legs and my back hurt all the time. I am allowing my very patient wife to wait on me hand and foot, and I know it's unfair.

bxd: You are very correct that it is unfair. We all have to come to a point sometimes in our lives where we take responsibility for doing these things. While she may agree to do these things for you, you should know they are not what you want. Do you really want to miss out on everything life has to offer because you can't get up and make small changes? I am not trying to be harsh but you have to be responsible for yourself. We spend the most time on this Earth with ourselves so get comfortable with being who you are and wanting to change and actually trying to change.

At some point I felt that I had to do something. I felt that I was getting too big, I noticed that I am more out of breath than ever, and I feel the sleep apnoea getting worse and worse. I am worried that it is already too late and that I should just wait for the inevitable. But I am not ready for the big sleep

My worst nightmare is leaving my wife a widow. I have to do something but it's a battle between two very unevenly matched sides: on side a we have my desire to live and to feel better, whereas on side B we have pain, inertia, a not inconsiderable dose of agoraphobia (keeping me from going outdoors) and the sheer terror of how bloody much work this is going to be.

But reading 430 on the scales probably did one good thing – it gave me a panic attack and enough willpower to resist a late-night munch. I will make an effort to go out for a walk tomorrow, phobias be dammed. I am not sure if this is suitable for the message boards, or if I am just whining to myself. I will copy this to my blog as well but I would be grateful for any remarks, positive or not. Be mean or harsh if you think it'll help.

bxd: I know exactly how living like this is. I suffer from OSA (Obstructive Sleep Apnea) and before I was seen by a doctor my life was a living hell at almost 300 pounds (270). It's a ****ing destructive cycle. You fear the fact that you're overweight, you know how it feels, feels like you can't change it, so you try to relax, you can't relax, you can't sleep, you have panic and nervous breakdowns, you start to feel like things will change but you slip back into your old ways when those feelings of fear and those emotions of being a failure hits you. Trust me...I know how you feel. You know what I did to get over it & start my journey to a better self? I quit giving a flying **** (rhymes with duck) about my feelings. I started taking action and soaking up my tears and started to be responsible for everything I did. Basically I "manned up" to my feelings and realized I was in this situation because I put myself here. Sure my mother & father didn't always make the best food choices and I didn't have an amazing childhood but at 22 years old I was very capable of making my own food, keeping track of my workouts and handling relationships. Realize those feelings of being afraid of going outside...they're just feelings...once you can beat the mental part of weight loss it's all smooth sailing from there. Plus I was also treated for my Sleep Apnea with a CPAP machine and that literally changed my life. When you don't sleep, you stress, when you stress you panic, when you panic you eat & stay inside and defeat yourself and it's a process that repeats itself every single day.

good night from a terrified Humpty Dumpty lookalike

Stop that. You are not a humpty dumty look-a-like. You are a strong individual with the will to survive and change. Small steps. Take a 15 minute walk & eat 200 less calories a day. I bet you in a week you'll drop at least 3-5 pounds at your weight. Believe in yourself, friend me if you wish.

fat2skinny50

Congratulations on taking the first step and good luck on your journey. You are in the right place to drop the weight. You have been blessed with a loving supportive wife, more than most people. Lean on her, I can almost guarantee she is will help you through your weight loss. Now for my little piece of advice: While watching T.V. just stand up and move, walk in place or around the room, if you feel hungry DON'T immediately grab food, try drinking water or moving around, sometimes you are not really hungry. If after the water and moving you still feel hungry then go for something health, fruit, veggies... Don't deprive yourself, if you are craving something eat it, just eat it in moderation, the key is portion control. I look forward to reading about your weight loss and in the future reading about your success story. You can do this my friend. I am here if you need me

tapirfrog

Snudgie, you sound smart, funny, and capable.

Capable = you've already started to change what needs to be changed.

Smart and funny = please keep posting. Not only will I get my daily dose of "Wow, I want to be like him when I grow up," I will also be entertained. Because, you see, your weight loss and mental and physical health are really all about me. Didn't you know?

Welcome to MFP, and I've never written that before to anyone. Sincerely: welcome.

poohbah4

I think a lot of us have faced that moment of shock . . . how did this happen! It sometimes takes that shock to get us off our butts and onto the first few feet of a long, long road. You can do it, and I am rooting for you. I took the first step back in December and am about a third of the way down the road. Yeah team! :flowerforyou:

maegmez

For most, the real fear of losing weight and getting healthy is basically going on a diet. But don't let that put a fear in you. Once you get going and learn about food and calories, it's all a breeze! It really is.

My biggest piece of advice is to not deprive yourself of foods you love. If they are really bad, make them over! If they can't be made over, limit them to once a week. I still set my pizza, my cakes, my takeaways. I just don't eat the whole package.

For exercise, just get up and walk. Walk one block and build upon that.

You've taken a huge step here, YOU...CAN...DO...THIS!!!

FatFreeFrolicking

Well, this has been day one. Today I weighed myself for the first time in a long time. The magic number: 430.4 Lbs. Though at my heaviest before this particular weigh-in got close – 425, this is my absolute record high, and it's completely knocked me for six.

Not that I have a right to be surprised, as I've spent the last couple of months on the sofa, watching TV, reading, and scoffing like a pig. I tell myself I cannot exercise or do small basic things around the house because my legs and my back hurt all the time. I am allowing my very patient wife to wait on me hand and foot, and I know it's unfair.

At some point I felt that I had to do something. I felt that I was getting too big, I noticed that I am more out of breath than ever, and I feel the sleep apnoea getting worse and worse. I am worried that it is already too late and that I should just wait for the inevitable. But I am not ready for the big sleep

My worst nightmare is leaving my wife a widow. I have to do something but it's a battle between two very unevenly matched sides: on side a we have my desire to live and to feel better, whereas on side B we have pain, inertia, a not inconsiderable dose of agoraphobia (keeping me from going outdoors) and the sheer terror of how bloody much work this is going to be.

But reading 430 on the scales probably did one good thing – it gave me a panic attack and enough willpower to resist a late-night munch. I will make an effort to go out for a walk tomorrow, phobias be dammed. I am not sure if this is suitable for the message boards, or if I am just whining to myself. I will copy this to my blog as well but I would be grateful for any remarks, positive or not. Be mean or harsh if you think it'll help.

good night from a terrified Humpty Dumpty lookalike

The only way to treat agoraphobia is exposure therapy. That means facing your fears! Get out of the house. What is the worst that could happen? A couple stares? A couple laughs? WHO CARES. All that matters is you are out there moving your butt, working toward a healthier you. Anyone who has the nerve to laugh at that frankly doesn't deserve the time of day.

I have severe anxiety and panic disorder myself so feel free to add me. I'm more than happy to help. I know what a struggle it can be.

Sherbog

I combine My Fitness Pal with weekly Take Off Pounds Sensibly (TOPS). You might consider googling TOPS weight loss program and see if it might compliment your MFP. TOPS is a very inexpensive, safe and supportive organization.

You have made that first step and that was the most difficult one for me.

Best to you on your journey.

Shirley in rainy Oregon

love2lift_85

Welcome to MFP! You can do this. One day at a time, one pound at a time. It's not too late.

BigMech

You can do this! I started a 490lbs and have been under 250lbs for past 2.5 years.

It's not going to be easy, but you have your motivation in being there, and healthy for you wife, and not a burden on her. You need to hold onto that motivation, and remember it always.

The first things I started with were walking and watching what I was eating. I started out walking about a 1 mile a few times a week, and I won't lie, it hurt like hell at first. Then I started walking further and further, and more often, and it hurt less and less.

After about 6 months of walking, my wife got my a gym membership, and I started going to the gym. I would do cardio on the ellipse machine or bike or walk on their track and I started lifting weights. The weight lifting helps you maintain muscle mass while you are losing weight, which will help keep your metabolism up. After about 6 months, I was hitting the gym 5 days a week, and the weight was really coming off.

For the eating, I made some simple rules for myself. No seconds at meals, No desserts, and No snacks. I would eat 3 healthy decent sized meals a day, and that was it. It was tough at first, but I adjusted to it fairly quickly. I still ate out and went to functions, but I would substitute things to makes meals healthier: veggies instead of fries, salad instead of an appetizer, etc. One big mindset change that I made was the realization that food is fuel for body, nothing more. It doesn't make you happy, it doesn't bring joy or chase away your troubles.

All in all, it took me 26 months to lose 260lbs. I didn't put on the weight in a short amount of time, and I knew it wasn't going to come off in a short amount of time.

All the changes I made to lose the weight, I have stuck with in maintenance. I still eat much healthier than I used used, just more calories than when I was losing weight. I still hit the gym 5 days a week, and I run and bike with a couple guys during lunch at work.

All the hard work is more than worth than worth it though. The changes in my health (both physical and mental), energy level, and confidence have been amazing.

1shauna1

Beginning is always the hardest, especially if you're not sure what to do. Just start moving, even small steps, a walk down the driveway or around the block. Portion sizes are key too. Your calorie level will probably still be pretty high....but make better choices in the foods you eat as well. Just try to take it one day at a time; focusing on the total amount can be discouraging. Add me if you need a friend!

LVCeltGirl

You can do this! You've taken the first step. Look at the success stories, there are people who started where you are starting and have lost 200 lbs, some even more.

Baby steps for the exercise, out of the house, down to the street and back in again is okay just for that first step. Walk in place in the house for 5 minutes, 3 or 4 times a day is moving more.

Again, you can do this!

alasin1derland

search cybered, ed davenport and read his posts. he is very inspirational

qtgonewild

please dont be so harsh on yourself. you will NEED to love yourself in order to change. NOT HATE YOURSELF.

You can do it. Baby Steps. Follow the recommended calorie intake on here and if you can go for little walks. You will soon be able to increase those walks and you will see the weight is just falling off you. Good luck on your journey.

Anything is possible.

Just remember: The secret to successful weight loss is simple: SELF LOVE.

mohawkRN

You can do this! Can you find a way to do a non-impact exercise like a recumbent bike? As I'm sure you're aware, your pain will improve as you lose the weight. You may need to have a serious discussion with your wife. I obviously don't know anything about your relationship, but it's possible that she is enabling you, just like in many addiction relationships. There are so many people on here in your position, and tons of us who have no idea what it's like to be you but are willing to support you in this! Don't give up, my friend! Look through the posts for inspirational stories to help you stay motivated.

MzHornedOne

I remember that feeling well!

You've taken the first step in losing weight.

Walk, lift weights, and ABOVE ALL; watch what you eat! Count your calories and make healthier choices! Protein coupled with veggies (green leafy veggies are best) are your best friend. If you have to eat starch brown rice, quinoa, or sweet potatoes are your best options!

scarrletti_girl

just cutting down and setting a nice calorie deficit and that will help lose weight along with cleaning around the house or cooking yourself or doing other things too instead of your wife doing everything will also help you feel better and help with the weight process not to mention i am sure she will appreciate it. coming on here and weighing yourself is step one. your doing a good job so far keep it up. I am sure we would all enjoy to see a success story come from you! good luck.

chromecat

Once I got to that point where I got scarred, it completely changed my mindset. For the first time I thought of this journey as long term life changes instead of jumping in for a quick fix. Start slow with baby steps and you will be amazed at how things start turning around for you. I haven't started doing much in the way of exercise yet, mainly because of breathing issues but as I lose the weight, that starts fixing itself and I'm gradually adding exercise in. There are a lot of helpful suggestions on here, just pick the ones that are suited to you since you know yourself the best. Above all, don't get discouraged. Plan this in terms of months and years instead of day to day weigh-ins. The picture section of the message boards is great inspiration as well. Good luck!.

Jsphine

Congratulations, as well, for taking the first step~!
I don't want to repeat what many others have already said about how to do diet and exercise and such.
But, here's what I am trying, in addition to the obvious diet part; I am trying to change my relationship with my sofa. I absolutely love my couch! It's my comfort zone! But the more I spend time on it, less I make progress towards healthy living, at least that's how I felt one day. Now,I try to limit my time on the sofa. This includes limiting tv-time and forcing myself to eat ANYTHING and everything (snacks or meals) at the table (that's what it's there for anyway). And all the rest of the day I end up doing more of the 'other' stuff I need to get done; totally gives you the sense of accomplishment, even if it's doing one load of laundry or dishes, cleaning up one little corner that's been bothering me, etc. You get the picture, right?

This article also went around FB recently, and I think this might give you some ideas of things you can do to improve your daily routines apart from diet/exercise. After all, healthy and quality living is not solely based on food and exercise:
http://www.vtydknow.com/2014/03/01/60-small-ways-to-improve-your-life-in-the-next-100-days

Good luck!

aarar

Sometimes that panic and shock when you finally decide to face the number on the scale is what's needed to make the change.

You've got this. There will be lots of ups and downs along the way, the secret is to just keep going.

jennifer_417

Youve gotten some great advice here...so I'll just add:

You. Got. This.

Pirate_chick

recognizing the problem is the first step. Remember, you didn't gain all of it at once, you're not going to lose it all at once. Hang in there!!

pettychia

Weighing in and being horrified is step 1. I was mortified the day I stepped on a friend's scale and realized I was 200lbs. That was nearly 4 years ago. I started with diet and then moved to some cardio and finally to weightlifting. Am 35 years old and in better health than when I was in high school. I did it. Others here have done it. You can do it too.

Don't focus on the sheer amount you want to lose, just take it a step at a time. You'll get in a groove and it will become your new life. Here's a mantra; It's not a diet, it's a lifestyle.

timberowl

My biggest advice is to PLAN out your food. It sucks and it's a pain, but it's the best way I've found to stay on track. Just "winging it" every day always results in overeating, or having no calories left for dinner.

adopp062715

This guy is super inspirational. He started heavier than you are now and has officially lost 201 pounds. Read his blog and see what you can accomplish with just changing your diet and going for a walk.

http://www.myfitnesspal.com/blog/BeingKevin/view/gone-200-pounds-636209