Do you separate meals for your kids?

Losing_Sarah

I have one kid, a five year old daughter, and she eats what we eat. People are always so surprised by it, too. For example, a few of her favorite things to eat are roasted Brussels sprouts, asparagus, baked salmon, black beans, and salad. She has only had things like mac n cheese, chicken nuggets, and other "kid" foods a handful of times and it was usually fed to her at other people's homes.

I agree in the thinking that those typical "kid" foods are junk, which is why we don't eat it often. She does like mac n cheese from a box when she's had it, but knows it's not the healthiest choice, she actually doesn't care for chicken nuggets and french fries, and when she has pizza it's homemade crust, homemade marinara, vegetables, and light on the cheese.

We grow a large vegetable garden, and she is involved in every aspect of it, and feels a sense of pride when she helps harvest and then enjoys meals made from the food we grow. She loves raw asparagus, carrots, beans, and peas right out of the garden.

Really, I could care less what other people do, but for parents to say their kids will only eat (insert processed "kid" food here) is totally on them. It was introduced to the child by them.

Speaking of picky eaters: I work a couple nights a week and those night my hubby has to work I have my cousins 16 year old babysit for us. It happens that I work over dinner time, which means I have to make meals for them to eat after I leave. The 16 year old is the pickiest dang eater I've ever met. I am stuck with like two recipes that I would consider healthy meals that she will eat. It's kind of annoying, but she is a good babysitter, so I do what I have to do. (Seriously, her list of things she doesn't like is HUGE and rules out so many choices).

tracy2beme

We create one meal but we may have variations. My kids are now 23, 19, 13, and 12. They all went through their picky phases, all have different favorites and least favorites, but we never made completely separate meals. We would just offer alternatives.

I was also a kid who grew up in a "eat everything on your plate whether you like it or not" family. My father liked liver and onions. I remember sitting there one night even after it made me sick. I sat in the dining room, at the table by myself until bedtime. I would never do that to my kids.

When one of my sons was about 6, he got sick and threw up corn. He thought the corn made him sick - he actually had the flu - but in is mind, it was the corn because that's what came out. He wouldn't eat corn for over a year after that. We still made corn and it was there an we would suggest he try it, but for him, we would make green beans or carrots. I explained to him many times that it wasn't the corn that made him sick and eventually he tried it again and now he eats it all the time. He doesn't even remember not eating it.

We do variations on spicy dishes, but that's for me. I have stomach issues sometimes from spicy things but the rest of my family loves hot and spicy. And it makes complete sense for adults who love spicier foods to make blander versions for very young children.

If there's something new, I ask the kids to try it, but there's no rule that they have to. My daughter and I both love spinach and sushi rolls. The boys all hate them. But all of them have at least tried it.

I would never make a healthy meal for the family but then make nuggets and fries just for the kids. Most kids will try to get parents to do something like that when they're little. When they were very little, we didn't allow them to manipulate food choices. If they didn't eat what was prepared, they wouldn't get an alternative and none of them starved. A couple of hours after dinner, they always had a healthy snack anyway. As they got older, they could make a sandwich if they didn't want dinner. Now, they all know how to cook and they can prepare their own foods if they don't like what's for dinner. Generally, that never happens. Most of the time now, they will cook for me and make my food different than theirs: less spicy, less calories, less fat.

It's kind of nice how that's turned around.

Sharonks

My kids always ate whatever I prepared except if I was having the craving for flaming hot green chile something. I don't expect a 3 yo to eat something like that. Even when my kids were old enough to cook they ate what was for dinner (except after the age of 12 they were often the cook). My step kids were allowed to be picky and so they are. Often it means cooking separate meals but since the only one left at home is 17 I feel she can cook her own. This last couple months, hubs has been the head cook. I usually will eat some amount of what he makes (I'm diabetic so sometimes can't eat what he makes) she eats if she likes it or makes herself a sandwich.

Jewlz280

There seems to be a tremendous amount of totalitarian thinking and views here. Heaven forbid individual tastes are developed or catered to. It takes the same amount of time to cook 1 meal or 3. I just got done cooking three nice meals, at the same time. Everyone was happy.

Agreed. Our family enjoys food and we allow our kids to develop their own tastes. Our 8 year old will eat curry that will make most adults tear up, but she doesn't like tomato sauce. No biggie, she gets a different sauce on her pasta when we want tomato sauce. No need to get worked up about such minor things.

+1

Thank you for some sanity. I was starting to wonder what is wrong with people! Just because kids are kids doesn't mean they don't have their own likes and tastes. And to me, it's CRAZY to expect them to eat it just because you made it. That's like going to a restaurant, ordering food, them jacking up the order and them saying you had to eat it anyways. No, NO I DO NOT. With that said, my son use to be super picky and is still on some foods. I tried that whole eat it or do without and my Mom said to me once, "So does that mean when you are eating somewhere else, YOU are going to eat or go without? Or will you leave and go have something you LIKE somewhere else?" She was right. From that point on, I refused to fight over food and give the kiddos food issues. So what we do now is that if we are having something and they want to try it, they try it. If they hate it, no problem. We move on. If they love it, GREAT! And we move on. The result? As my oldest has gotten older, he still has some quirks about food (he prefers one type of nugget to another, only vanilla Greek yogurt natural, Costco strawberry spread and wheat bread to name a few....), but he eats better than the vast majority of adults I know! When he was younger, I DID pack food -- because I would rather my child EAT than sit at a friends house and be miserable. And frankly, if you are THAT offended, then obviously you don't know me and aren't really my FRIEND. We can go almost anywhere and find something to eat. He loves pork chops, green beans, strawberries, whole wheat bread, chicken nuggets, hot dogs, real bacon, carrots with ranch, crab rangoon, steamed rice with soy sauce, refried beans, Mexican style rice.... Why? Because I quit forcing it. Most nights, we all have the same things maybe with a different sauce or a switched out veg/fruit. But there ARE times that I just breathe a sigh of relief that my kids love mostly healthy stuff and a decent variety. I really do think that the OP was referring to fams who ONLY feed their kids an exclusive short list of foods and I've seen that, too. But I can't help but think that as these kiddos get older and see friends, family, etc. eating other foods they will try them. You will have a few who won't (I know some super picky adults) but most will. And I refuse to be the food police and make them eat something they hate. I wouldn't eat it if I hated it and I won't make them do something I would never do.

IIIIISerenityNowIIIII

My kids eat fish, vegetables, all the stuff that is not "kid food" because they don't have any other option.

They eat the food my husband and I eat, except I am vegetarian so the fake meat and protein bars I eat when they eat meat.

If you hold children to a higher standard they will work to achieve that higher standard.

Even as babies I would take the family dinners and puree some for them. They love "adult" food because that is what they grew accustomed to.

I won't lie though, they LOVE pizza and mac n cheese, but those are occasional treats they don't get every day.

dinner last for example was tilapia, veggie pasta, and steamed broccoli.

happysummerrunner

Sure do! My toddler has a dairy allergy and I love recipes with cheese so.... he can eat all the dairy free foods I make but I don't make him eat cheese obviously.

If kids have a feeding disorder or sensory problems you can't expect them to eat the same as other family members.

And having just regular "picky eaters" can be extremely challenging. Try not to be too judgmental of the parents of the kids you work with. It's hard to know what they're going through when you're not living their lives. Here's some resources to get a better idea of these challenges:

http://www.asha.org/public/speech/swallowing/feeding-and-swallowing-disorders-in-children/

http://sacredappetite.com/2010/11/three-bad-tips-for-feeding-hypersensitive-orally-defensive-or-sensory-processing-disordered-children/

This is a blog of some feeding therapists who I've studied from and loved their work:
http://cheriandlaura.blogspot.com/

This lady isn't a feeding therapist but has a blog with good info and works with "picky eaters" not necessarily disordered eating:
http://sacredappetite.com/

sunshine4040

I don't do separate meals for my children. I never have, and I never will. I am not running a restaurant. However, I will say that when I prepare a meal, I make sure that I have something included with every one of the them that my kids will definitely eat. And when my toddler, preschooler and I are home during the day, my lunch is different then theirs just because mommy got put on a diet and can't eat some of what they do. They know when I fix their plate at meal time, that they are expected to at least try a bite of whatever they don't like. It has paid off. I now have kids that will eat almost everything. The 3 youngest love plain broccoli, and salad.

zoeysasha37

I do make separate meals for dinner sometimes. I think it's unfair to push my beliefs onto my Son, for example I don't eat pork, but feel like that my Son should be able to eat it if he wants to

rissatheninja

I didn't read all the posts but this is what I do:

I try to make a variety of foods, some that my 6 year old does like, and some I know she probably won't. Lucky for me, my daughter will eat just about anything if she sees me eating it. I also make her try the things she doesn't like - I swear I read somewhere that you have to try something 7 times before you like it, but I could just be making that up haha. I also have her help me cook as much as possible, it's great quality time together and she likes eating all the yummy food we made. There are some days that she doesn't want anything we're making, and then she can have a peanut butter and jelly sandwich.

My youngest sister was a super picky eater. For the better part of 5 years she literally only at chicken breast (no other pieces), potatoes (mashed, or baked - just with salt and butter) or French Fries.. oh and chicken nuggets and plain spaghetti noodles. She's 11 now and just started to branch out a bit - she will now have spaghetti sauce with her noodles.