Overweight daughter

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Replies

  • brenn24179
    brenn24179 Posts: 2,144 Member
    wow, this had a different ending than I expected and I am happy for you. You and your daughter must have a very good relationship.

    I think weight loss is a very sensitive subject and you have to have a very good relationship to bring it up. Most of us would think someone is very critical that says anything to us about our weight. I was going to ask if you ever had anyone say anything to you about your weight? It is a very touchy subject and someone would have to be very good to me and say good stuff to me in order to bring up my weight. I would be ready to fight in a heartbeat. My parents were not supportive in other areas of my life so when they brought up my weight, it was not good.
  • beautifulwarrior18
    beautifulwarrior18 Posts: 914 Member
    Sorry to tell you this, but it has to come from her, or it will never work.

    ^^^^That
  • sargessexyone
    sargessexyone Posts: 494 Member
    wow, this had a different ending than I expected and I am happy for you. You and your daughter must have a very good relationship.

    I think weight loss is a very sensitive subject and you have to have a very good relationship to bring it up. Most of us would think someone is very critical that says anything to us about our weight. I was going to ask if you ever had anyone say anything to you about your weight? It is a very touchy subject and someone would have to be very good to me and say good stuff to me in order to bring up my weight. I would be ready to fight in a heartbeat. My parents were not supportive in other areas of my life so when they brought up my weight, it was not good.

    We do. I admit it's been touch and go a few times but really that's life.

    I did not develop weight problems until I got pregnant with my oldest child. My mother was overweight her whole life and when I first become overweight she would tell me I should lose weight but she never took the time to help or teach me how to do it. My daughter's father would tell me straight to my face I was fat or if a girl in a bikini came on TV he would ask "don't you wish you had a body like that". It hurt me deeply which is why I tried very hard to be careful about what I said to my daughter.

    I am so happy that I can be a good role model and help her on her new journey.
  • Grammie4VT
    Grammie4VT Posts: 35 Member
    Sorry to tell you this, but it has to come from her, or it will never work.
    I totally agree. It has to come from within.
  • moseler
    moseler Posts: 224 Member
    Honestly, there is nothing you can say or do to get her to change her lifestyle. In fact, the more you mention it, might actually cause her to rebel and eat more. I know that was how I was and I really don't know why. My husband used to sometimes comment on the choices I was making and I literally would eat more of it sometimes to spite him. Really it was like biting my nose off to spite my face.

    I knew what I was doing was unhealthy and I was hurting myself... However, there was also something comforting about food. I look back and really it was about as comforting as a straight jacket... yes, it was warm and held me tight, but it also controlled me and kept me from doing the things I loved.

    It is her journey... when she is ready to take it... she will. Until then, keep modeling healthy eating habits and just love her for who she is right now. Unfortunately, part of the eating cycle is very emotional and if she feels shamed or depressed... she will turn to her warm, fuzzy straight jacket for comfort.
  • cuinboston2014
    cuinboston2014 Posts: 848 Member
    I AM the "Overweight Daughter" referred in this post, and i just wanted to make clear that i never felt pressure or "nagged" by mother to lose weight only encouraged, i appreciate those of you who made kind remarks , and to those who think you know who i am and what i was thinking and how i was feeling , get off your high horses ,it just goes to show you my moms effort paid off , bc the night PRIOR to her blog i did actually join MFP (she was unaware) simply bc we had another conversation that >I< brought up .in my opinion any time is a good time as long as it was on my time! , im proud of my mothers success and if not for it i would not be doing it myself. love you mom :smooched:

    I've said it before and I will say it until the day I die, I love you Baby girl and I am so proud of the woman you've become!

    Oh you guys! :)

    To daughter - good for you for joining MFP and joining your mom. My mom doesn't have weight to lose but wants to log her food and I WISH she would join. It's exciting to have someone to share this experience with as it will bring tons of ups and downs.

    And mom - you seem extremely supportive, caring, etc. Good for you :) I'm actually having a terrible time this week just with everything in life and this thread conclusion put a huge smile on my face.

    Wish you both tons and tons of success and happiness!
  • kimmymayhall
    kimmymayhall Posts: 419 Member
    I AM the "Overweight Daughter" referred in this post, and i just wanted to make clear that i never felt pressure or "nagged" by mother to lose weight only encouraged, i appreciate those of you who made kind remarks , and to those who think you know who i am and what i was thinking and how i was feeling , get off your high horses ,it just goes to show you my moms effort paid off , bc the night PRIOR to her blog i did actually join MFP (she was unaware) simply bc we had another conversation that >I< brought up .in my opinion any time is a good time as long as it was on my time! , im proud of my mothers success and if not for it i would not be doing it myself. love you mom :smooched:

    I've said it before and I will say it until the day I die, I love you Baby girl and I am so proud of the woman you've become!
    All the feels!!!
    I wish you both luck in your weight loss and maintaining a great relationship.

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