Help any tips to overcome stress eating?

Rivers2k

I have realized I am stress eater, my wife is as well so we usually fall off the wagon together. I do great on my calories on days I am not stressed out but days that I completely stressed I cheat hardcore.

This is my day every day! I have 3 kids under the age of 4. I wake up to the baby crying for a bottle, give the kids breakfast, change diapers, then head to work. I have a stressful job with a 2 hour commute in heavy traffic. Don't get me wrong my kids are my favorite people in the world besides my wife but as soon as I get home they come yelling for my attention. Literally screeching and yelling wanting to show me what they did that day. I get changed from my work clothes with them banging on the door. We fight to get the kids to eat what we made for dinner. After dinner I play with the kids (usually wrestling or dance party so a little calorie burn) then bath time and they go to bed and then I work on the house cleaning or remodeling. Then 30 - 60 min TV with my wife and we go to bed. Then it is the same thing the next day. My wife is also very busy all day so please don't suggest she help more she does more than her share. While laying in bed I do watch my fish tank for about 20 min that is my only non stressful part of the day.

Last night I did great on my diet after dinner I sat at 1700 calories. After I finished dinner I finished prepping the bathroom walls for painting. I sat on the couch to relax and thought I "deserve" a milk shake. So I went out got a large shake for myself and a cone for my wife. This putting me way over my calories. It wouldn't be so bad if it was once in while but I went through by diary and this happens once or twice a week. If I am stressed more than usual at work instead of eating the healthy lunch my wife packed I got to Chinese buffet or get pizza. Then sometimes I double up on lunch the next day so my wife doesn't know I cheated. Not that she would judge me but cause I am ashamed.

Anyone ever deal with this or have over come stress eating?

gypsy_spirit

It takes a while, but you can change your habits. Having a treat is not the problem. I would suggest that you work your calories to accommodate that - every day if necessary.

That being said, stress eating is how you have conditioned your brain to deal with the pressures of life. Something has to happen to break that link in the chain. You and your wife should sit down and talk through some strategies. I would imagine that one of you is stressed and the other goes along because - well - treats!! Find some other ways to work off the stress.

Also, sneaking and eating is also a very destructive behavior that will kill your plan. Get honest with your wife.

Bottom line - change is very hard, but it can be done. When you're ready - you will do it! Good luck.

_HeartsOnFire_

It takes a while, but you can change your habits. Having a treat is not the problem. I would suggest that you work your calories to accommodate that - every day if necessary.

That being said, stress eating is how you have conditioned your brain to deal with the pressures of life. Something has to happen to break that link in the chain. You and your wife should sit down and talk through some strategies. I would imagine that one of you is stressed and the other goes along because - well - treats!! Find some other ways to work off the stress.

Also, sneaking and eating is also a very destructive behavior that will kill your plan. Get honest with your wife.

Bottom line - change is very hard, but it can be done. When you're ready - you will do it! Good luck.

QFT...

Also...do you guys like boxing or kickboxing? I have found it's amazing for stress. When I'm upset/stressed I can go hit bags. Hitting bags helps tremendously and I feel wonderful after. Also feel less stressed.

Rivers2k

It takes a while, but you can change your habits. Having a treat is not the problem. I would suggest that you work your calories to accommodate that - every day if necessary.

That being said, stress eating is how you have conditioned your brain to deal with the pressures of life. Something has to happen to break that link in the chain. You and your wife should sit down and talk through some strategies. I would imagine that one of you is stressed and the other goes along because - well - treats!! Find some other ways to work off the stress.

Also, sneaking and eating is also a very destructive behavior that will kill your plan. Get honest with your wife.

Bottom line - change is very hard, but it can be done. When you're ready - you will do it! Good luck.

When you said - well treats!! It gave me a chuckle so thanks. maybe I should figure out how to fit a treat into my calories and have 1 slice of pizza instead of 3. But I know its not healthy to look for food for comfort.

My wife is my best friend and we are very honest with each other. I don't know why I feel so ashamed and cant tell her when I cheat. I think part of the reason I don't tell her is I don't want to give her the excuse to cheat on her diet.

Rivers2k

It takes a while, but you can change your habits. Having a treat is not the problem. I would suggest that you work your calories to accommodate that - every day if necessary.

That being said, stress eating is how you have conditioned your brain to deal with the pressures of life. Something has to happen to break that link in the chain. You and your wife should sit down and talk through some strategies. I would imagine that one of you is stressed and the other goes along because - well - treats!! Find some other ways to work off the stress.

Also, sneaking and eating is also a very destructive behavior that will kill your plan. Get honest with your wife.

Bottom line - change is very hard, but it can be done. When you're ready - you will do it! Good luck.

QFT...

Also...do you guys like boxing or kickboxing? I have found it's amazing for stress. When I'm upset/stressed I can go hit bags. Hitting bags helps tremendously and I feel wonderful after. Also feel less stressed.

Dont know what QFT means.

I was a brown belt in karate and that was very good for stress relief but I don't have time for that anymore. My wife is starting cardio kick boxing at the Y next week.

mnwalkingqueen

I have learned that I have similar traits. I fall down a lot but I just think of every day as a new beginning. I am working on replacing my relaxing time with a walk around the block a time or two with head phones blaring to my favorite tunes. I am single so no one to share my time with. When I was dating my partner and I would go for a relaxing walk together.
I agree with the person above me that suggested sharing your feelings with your wife and the two of you having some new strategies. It will take time, I read somewhere it takes like 30 days to establish a new habit.

Good Luck.

sammer825

Instead of having a milkshake after dinner, why not a smoothie? Put some kale or spinach in it and it wouldnt be as bad for you. Use yogurt and if youre feeling extremely ambitious put a scoop of protein powder in it to make it creamier. They have some really good smoothie recipes out there, just do a little research and you wont even miss the milkshakes!

Rivers2k

I have learned that I have similar traits. I fall down a lot but I just think of every day as a new beginning. I am working on replacing my relaxing time with a walk around the block a time or two with head phones blaring to my favorite tunes. I am single so no one to share my time with. When I was dating my partner and I would go for a relaxing walk together.
I agree with the person above me that suggested sharing your feelings with your wife and the two of you having some new strategies. It will take time, I read somewhere it takes like 30 days to establish a new habit.

Good Luck.

Thanks, the problem is i am tired of "falling down"

Rivers2k

Instead of having a milkshake after dinner, why not a smoothie? Put some kale or spinach in it and it wouldnt be as bad for you. Use yogurt and if youre feeling extremely ambitious put a scoop of protein powder in it to make it creamier. They have some really good smoothie recipes out there, just do a little research and you wont even miss the milkshakes!

Good idea, except the kale part gag!

_HeartsOnFire_

Instead of having a milkshake after dinner, why not a smoothie? Put some kale or spinach in it and it wouldnt be as bad for you. Use yogurt and if youre feeling extremely ambitious put a scoop of protein powder in it to make it creamier. They have some really good smoothie recipes out there, just do a little research and you wont even miss the milkshakes!

Good idea, except the kale part gag!

Kale in smoothies, if you have a little citrus to balance out the bitterness is really not bad at all and you can hardly taste it.

I have a morning smoothie that is also a treat...I'll post it for you...

1 cup Frozen or Fresh Spinach
2 Tbs Hershey's Natural Unsweetened Powder
2 Tbs Pb2 - Powdered Peanut Butter
1 scoop Soy Protein Powder
1 cup Unsweetened Vanilla Almond Drink
2 small Bananas.

Blend all together and you have a Chocolate Peanut Butter Banana Smoothie. It's full of protein, keeps me full all morning and it's just yummmmmmy. My smoothie this am was 407 calories. It also takes care of my desire for chocolate.

If I have flax seeds I throw that in too.

_HeartsOnFire_

Oh and QFT is Quote for truth.

Rivers2k

Also I haven't been fat my whole life I was a marine and a runner weighing low 190's. Weight started coming on hard core in 2002/2003 put on 100 lbs by 2011 It has been some of the most stressful years of my life. Some of the best also sooo either I am handling stress differently or I just wasn't stressed before IDK. went from 300 to 265 from Jan 2013 - October 2013 now fluctuating between 275 and 265 since October.

_HeartsOnFire_

Thank you for your service and high five on the weight you've already lost.

I haven't been fat all my life either though it feels like it. I got fat as a kid, lost it, got fat from 19-21, lost that kept it off for about 7 years then slowly gained it all over 7 years.

The first step is deciding to do it and that's usually the hardest ones.

My only other tips are these...
1) It's moderation not deprivation.
2) There are NO bad foods, just bad eating habits (I'm a HUGE emotional eater/drinker). It's HARD and can be a daily struggle. Then I remind myself of #3.
3) Believe that you can.
4) Know that you can.
5) Any negative self talk should immediately be smacked down and told to shut up.

fitztm74

I too am a stress eater...and I'll end up grazing all day if I let myself. I've found that there are a few things that I have to do to combat my low will power in stressful times 1) recognize the problem - do I need food or does my brain WANT food? 2) log ALL of my food and be honest with myself 3) don't keep high sugar snacks at home where it would be easy to cheat on.

I've also found that I have to make time for exercise each day to loose weight...nothing too complex, just coming to a sweat 30 minutes for most days of the week. Early morning exercise helps to curb my appetite, and give me the stress relief I need to get through the day. I also have problems "boredom eating" at night...that is a constant mental struggle not to cheat after dark. I drink lots of water before dinner, then if I want something after dinner, it can only be a greek yogurt with berries or a sugar free chocolate pudding if I can afford it in my log. I have realized that being 100% honest with myself is the only way I'm going to loose this weight.

Don't loose hope or faith; keep jumping back on the track when you derail. Also, with the 3 little ones at home and 2 working parents, its going to be a challenge no matter how you look at it. I have 2 kids and am married as well. In my experience, an exercise plan can only work when you support each other and each other's time at the gym. Sounds like you are beginning that next week so good luck to you both.

:happy:

Rivers2k

I too am a stress eater...and I'll end up grazing all day if I let myself. I've found that there are a few things that I have to do to combat my low will power in stressful times 1) recognize the problem - do I need food or does my brain WANT food? 2) log ALL of my food and be honest with myself 3) don't keep high sugar snacks at home where it would be easy to cheat on.

I've also found that I have to make time for exercise each day to loose weight...nothing too complex, just coming to a sweat 30 minutes for most days of the week. Early morning exercise helps to curb my appetite, and give me the stress relief I need to get through the day. I also have problems "boredom eating" at night...that is a constant mental struggle not to cheat after dark. I drink lots of water before dinner, then if I want something after dinner, it can only be a greek yogurt with berries or a sugar free chocolate pudding if I can afford it in my log. I have realized that being 100% honest with myself is the only way I'm going to loose this weight.

Don't loose hope or faith; keep jumping back on the track when you derail. Also, with the 3 little ones at home and 2 working parents, its going to be a challenge no matter how you look at it. I have 2 kids and am married as well. In my experience, an exercise plan can only work when you support each other and each other's time at the gym. Sounds like you are beginning that next week so good luck to you both.

:happy:

Thank you. My wife is a stay at home mom. When I said she also works hard I mean she is busy working hard all day at home. I am going to start getting up early for some gym time. I know I need it so bad. it is just so hard to get myself motivated to get up so early after being so tired.

I don't struggle with the boredom eating I don't really have any down time lol. But your right I do have to recognize does my brain want food or do I need the food. The weight loss I had was on carb night solutions. That worked because I told my self ok if you still want that on Saturday you can have it. Maybe I need to keep doing that If I still want this (shake,pizza, whatever) on Saturday I can have it just don't over do it.

sixpacklady

I too am a stress eater...and I'll end up grazing all day if I let myself. I've found that there are a few things that I have to do to combat my low will power in stressful times 1) recognize the problem - do I need food or does my brain WANT food? 2) log ALL of my food and be honest with myself 3) don't keep high sugar snacks at home where it would be easy to cheat on.

I've also found that I have to make time for exercise each day to loose weight...nothing too complex, just coming to a sweat 30 minutes for most days of the week. Early morning exercise helps to curb my appetite, and give me the stress relief I need to get through the day. I also have problems "boredom eating" at night...that is a constant mental struggle not to cheat after dark. I drink lots of water before dinner, then if I want something after dinner, it can only be a greek yogurt with berries or a sugar free chocolate pudding if I can afford it in my log. I have realized that being 100% honest with myself is the only way I'm going to loose this weight.

Don't loose hope or faith; keep jumping back on the track when you derail. Also, with the 3 little ones at home and 2 working parents, its going to be a challenge no matter how you look at it. I have 2 kids and am married as well. In my experience, an exercise plan can only work when you support each other and each other's time at the gym. Sounds like you are beginning that next week so good luck to you both.

:happy:

^^ This

I am a stress eater too, but I find that if I exercise I have better control over my eating. Maybe bcos I don't want to sabotage all the hard work I did or it must be the side effect of exercise.

I also have 3 kids ranging from 2 - 11 and both of us work full time. With 3 kids under 3 and both of you working full time, no wonder you are stressed out.

Try incorporating excercise - maybe you can sneak one early morning before kids are awake or can you get some at work during lunch hour - a brisk walk or a gym near work?

Or both of you could do something in the evening after the kids are asleep.

I make the dinner for the week on weekends, so I get time to workout after I come back home in the eve. Something to think about if you are in the habit of making dinner everyday.

Its a constant struggle, but I try to eat 80% healthy and 20 % will be some kind of treats.

gurlygirlrcr80

It's hard to tell yourself "No" when it comes to something you think you deserve, but I reroute myself and say "I deserve to feel sexy and I want to have a hot body" and usually I distract myself that way...

Rivers2k

I too am a stress eater...and I'll end up grazing all day if I let myself. I've found that there are a few things that I have to do to combat my low will power in stressful times 1) recognize the problem - do I need food or does my brain WANT food? 2) log ALL of my food and be honest with myself 3) don't keep high sugar snacks at home where it would be easy to cheat on.

I've also found that I have to make time for exercise each day to loose weight...nothing too complex, just coming to a sweat 30 minutes for most days of the week. Early morning exercise helps to curb my appetite, and give me the stress relief I need to get through the day. I also have problems "boredom eating" at night...that is a constant mental struggle not to cheat after dark. I drink lots of water before dinner, then if I want something after dinner, it can only be a greek yogurt with berries or a sugar free chocolate pudding if I can afford it in my log. I have realized that being 100% honest with myself is the only way I'm going to loose this weight.

Don't loose hope or faith; keep jumping back on the track when you derail. Also, with the 3 little ones at home and 2 working parents, its going to be a challenge no matter how you look at it. I have 2 kids and am married as well. In my experience, an exercise plan can only work when you support each other and each other's time at the gym. Sounds like you are beginning that next week so good luck to you both.

:happy:

^^ This

I am a stress eater too, but I find that if I exercise I have better control over my eating. Maybe bcos I don't want to sabotage all the hard work I did or it must be the side effect of exercise.

I also have 3 kids ranging from 2 - 11 and both of us work full time. With 3 kids under 3 and both of you working full time, no wonder you are stressed out.

Try incorporating excercise - maybe you can sneak one early morning before kids are awake or can you get some at work during lunch hour - a brisk walk or a gym near work?

Or both of you could do something in the evening after the kids are asleep.

I make the dinner for the week on weekends, so I get time to workout after I come back home in the eve. Something to think about if you are in the habit of making dinner everyday.

Its a constant struggle, but I try to eat 80% healthy and 20 % will be some kind of treats.

my wife is a stay at home mom. She works out at the Y which has day care so that works for her. After kids go to bed we crash. One time the kids went to bed with Sesame Street on the TV after puttign the kids to bed both my wife and I sat down and we were to tired to get up and get the remote so we watched sesame street for an hour before bed LOL True story. so working out after the kids are in bed is a not an option.

But I agree if i get exercise in that will probably help my stress. Giveme an hour of me time in the morning. if I can get my but out of bed.

Rivers2k

It's hard to tell yourself "No" when it comes to something you think you deserve, but I reroute myself and say "I deserve to feel sexy and I want to have a hot body" and usually I distract myself that way...

LOL that makes me laugh thinking of me telling my self I deserve to feel sexy hahaha. great now I have the i'm to sexy song stuck in my head.

but self talk is proven to work I just have to work on the self talk.

Buff2022

Thanks for this post. I just went through this last night. I was stressed from a bully at work. And I started eating when I came home. I had no right to buy the candy I did. Because I knew I was going to end up eating it. Sure **** I did. Not all of it but still enough that I was ashamed of myself.

Today is a new day. Counting calories again. Going to the gym. Not expecting to lose weight this week. To much "fun" but I will do the best as I can moving on.

Quasita

This is a tough love response but... the fact that you sat down after working on your house and thought something like "I deserve this" means that this is a choice that you are electively choosing. It's not a compulsion, it's not even necessarily an emotional need... heck, that scenario, you don't even sound stressed out at the time.

When I think of stress eating, I think of eating when you are on deadline to keep yourself awake... Allowing yourself to have a bag of M&Ms while working on a huge project... Having a horrible day at work and pulling into the first DQ you see and eating the Blizzard before you get home, not out of shame but because the dopamine rush from the eating calms you down.

This sounds like a habit. Habits can be broken. You have kids, it's a given. It's time to acclimate. As long as you consider that stress worthy of eating things that will put you over your calories or whatever, you will struggle to succeed. There is zero reason to get up, leave the house, and get a milkshake. If you had time to do all that, which probably took at least 15 minutes if not more, you had enough time to do some exercise. Therefore, you have time enough to choose an option that will make you happier.

Choose to motivate yourself, and not allow yourself to leave the house for sweets once you're home for the night. I incorporated a reward system for myself at one point to help change the habit... for every day I didn't purchase junk, I would put money that would have been spent on junk into a jar to save for a special thing later.

For the record though, I love milkshakes.. and when I was working out 2-3 hours a day, they were a rather daily thing. I would get one during my recovery hour after water aerobics, as they have decent protein, calcium, calories to supply for the eating back exercise calories, etc. If you're going to fast food joints, look up the calories on the sizes... Some of them aren't so bad, as long as you're working for them. That being said, practically no one needs a large shake, unless they've had oral surgery or something, so scale it back. You CAN work them into your routine, you just have to be honest, and if you didn't do the work today, you don't get to have a milkshake. The work indicated by the "earned calories."

Good luck.