Help any tips to overcome stress eating?
Replies
-
What do you do for exercise? I'm a daddy of two wonderful boys (4 y.o. and the other is 20 months) and they are awesome...but definitely a handful and demand a lot of daddy's attention. I also have a pretty stressful job (CFO) and an hour commute each way from work. I used to be on edge pretty much all of the time...I was a 2-3 PAD smoker, big time eater, and pretty heavy drinker to boot.
In this RE, exercise really changed my life. When I started exercising regularly, it just made the stress a lot easier to deal with and I found myself a lot less on edge and with more energy...to boot, my mind was more clear and I was accomplishing tasks more efficiently.
I started out pretty much using some of my lunch hour for walking...then I incorporated some running...then I joined a gym to start lifting weights a few days per week (twice in the evening during the work week...and thank God my wife is on board with me being healthier because she takes the kids those two nights...and then early morning on a Sat or Sun). Now I ride my bike a few days per week as I find it more relaxing than running and enjoy it more and still get in some good exercise and I lift 3x weekly. I also am responsible for getting a Wellness Program implemented at my office where everyone gets 1/2 hour per day to do exercise if they sign up for the program.
I've completely turned my life around this last year and a half...I've lost 40 Lbs and I'm as strong (if not stronger) than I was in my early 20s and definitely more fit in general. I take part in a couple of cycling endurance events during the year as well as race cyclocross in the fall. I haven't had a cigarette since Sept 20, 2012 and I've cut back considerably on my consumption of bourbon. I feel great and I look great...and most of that has been attributable to getting some good nutrition and making some time for regular exercise. I spend about 5-6 hours per week exercising.
Sounds like our life is very similar. To be honest nothing, I do nothing for exercise! I never have the time. I think I need to make the time. I used to ride road bike (now hanging in my garage) I used to be a gym rat but now can seem to find the energy to get up in the morning. I have a mountian bike that I am going to pull out when the snow goes away. But I think The answer is getting my butt to the gym tired or not.
So I am going to star the Gym tomorrow I am sure that is going to reduce my stress it always has in the past.
Just a quick add...
Its great that you have decided to get to the gym every morning, but you really don't have to go to the gym to get a good workout. There are tons of youtube videos/websites like fitnessblender, dailyburn etc which has all levels of workouts for any length of time.
Work outs at home don't work cause it is still snowy hear and as soon as I am up the kids are up. They have some super power that knows when I am up
0 -
Stress is different for everyone.
I have two teenagers, and I can say that when my children were small (they are now 15 and 18) it was the most stressful time of my life.
So I totally get where you are coming from. It is very difficult to deal with your own needs when you are expending so much energy dealing with the needs of others -- not only your children, but your job, too. I worked the whole time they were small and it was hard.
But the first step is that you've recognized the problem and want to change it. Now you just have to implement strategies to help you eat better and deal with stress when it happens.
Can you and your wife come up with a plan for each of you to have some "me time" every day? One of you take the kids for a certain amount of time so the other can, say, talk a walk to get some exercise and burn off some stress? Is that an option?
I found that getting some exercise, just a walk, was a lot of help when my kids were small. Does your wife have the option of doing this during the day maybe?
Also you can have a "treat" but it would be good if you decide on some "treats" that you can fit into your calorie needs for the day. Instead of a milsshake, maybe some healthy frozen yogurt (there are some lower cal ones out there that are portion controlled) or something else.
What kind of foods would help you feel like "I'm having a treat that I enjoy" without destroying your calorie goals for the day? You need to consider some options and then have them on hand for when you want something. there are lots of suggestoins on this site.
It takes some planning, but you can do it!!
All good advice. I try to make sure my wife gets out on her own every so often just to get a cup of coffee or what ever. Friday nights we have been playing raquet ball we leave our kids at the ymca babysitting for an hour. That is our "date night" right now, romantic I know lol. The time I have free I am serving others with different groups. I lead a "growth group" at church. I know its ironic but I also lead a few "support" type groups. now I need a support group lol. but seriously those times really get my blood pumping and really center me on the important things.0 -
Wow...great discusion here.
Again, thanks for your service to our country. Also, kudos -- from what you've said you sound like a great husband and great father.
I'm also a self-diagosed stress eater. I don't have kids, my commute from work and home is 30 minutes each way and I'm not in the middle of any remodeling projects right now. But I have a semi-stressful job and have outside personal/family commitments that make for days where I'm away from home at least 14 hours a day most weekdays. When a fire pops up either at home or work, I turn to food for that quick fix. The saltier/swetter/more decadent, the better. It doesn't help that I work somewhere with dozens of vending machines and multiple food venues, all within a five minute walk from my office.
It's so easy for you or anyone to say, "I need to make time to ______". But we also need to own up to the choices we make (which you've done in your postings) in the time we already have. Food-wise, in terms of snacks at home or work, what do you have more of: junk food or nuts/veggies? Do you only wait until you're hungry to put some food in your mouth? How about a lite mid-morning/mid-afternoon snack?
I'm still a stress eater and I still make poor choices every now and then. But given my issues with my weight over the last year or so, I find myself thinking of my waistline and my wallet before I turn to that much desired "quick fix".
Good luck!0 -
Wow...great discusion here.
Again, thanks for your service to our country. Also, kudos -- from what you've said you sound like a great husband and great father.
I'm also a self-diagosed stress eater. I don't have kids, my commute from work and home is 30 minutes each way and I'm not in the middle of any remodeling projects right now. But I have a semi-stressful job and have outside personal/family commitments that make for days where I'm away from home at least 14 hours a day most weekdays. When a fire pops up either at home or work, I turn to food for that quick fix. The saltier/swetter/more decadent, the better. It doesn't help that I work somewhere with dozens of vending machines and multiple food venues, all within a five minute walk from my office.
It's so easy for you or anyone to say, "I need to make time to ______". But we also need to own up to the choices we make (which you've done in your postings) in the time we already have. Food-wise, in terms of snacks at home or work, what do you have more of: junk food or nuts/veggies? Do you only wait until you're hungry to put some food in your mouth? How about a lite mid-morning/mid-afternoon snack?
I'm still a stress eater and I still make poor choices every now and then. But given my issues with my weight over the last year or so, I find myself thinking of my waistline and my wallet before I turn to that much desired "quick fix".
Good luck!
Thank you for the compliments, I am not much of a snacker I am more of a I am stressed I am going to have this bad thing for dinner or lunch as a "reward" for my hard work. The ice cream is really my only dessert that I like I am not much of sweets person. The going out for ice cream is less of an occurrence than eating a really bad meal. I find myself going out for lunch wasting money when I have a perfectly good lunch in the fridge at work.
I feel your pain with the vending machine thing though those are tough.0 -
You need to stop using your kids as excuses.
You are their father. If you need 30 minutes to do your work out, you set boundaries that they are to entertain themselves and not bother you while you have your time.
If you get up early and the kids get up too, take them for a bike ride, to the park and play soccer or tag with them.
Treats do not have to be food. If you feel you 'deserve' a reward for a tough day, you could reward yourself and your wife with mutual massages, a little grown up play time, a hot bath.... so many options.0 -
Wow! Now that is some great advice... No more smacking yourself for falling off. At least you realize you are an emotional/stress eater and admission is half the battle. Doing something about it is the other half. Its like being in an abusive marriage; you know you are being abused but you make a choice to stay or get out. Same with this food battle; we know we are eating because we are emotional or bored or stressed. We can choose to eat to relieve the stress or get out AND WALK! We wont always be successful but we can certainly put forth a concerted effort! Thanks for the good words of wisdom!0
-
I'm definitely a stress eater; what has helped me enormously is my stationary bike! At night, when my usual urge to binge occurs, I put the bike in front of my computer (I don't have a TV), and watch concerts, because the music gets me going, and I can do 25 miles before I even realize it's happened. I didn't even think I'd like the stationary bike, but using it this way has been fantastic. I make a deal with myself; I give myself permission to splurge on some goodies, but when I decide to do that, I commit to riding the bike in the evening. It always burns more than enough calories to justify my little binge.0
-
[/quote]
All good advice. I try to make sure my wife gets out on her own every so often just to get a cup of coffee or what ever. Friday nights we have been playing raquet ball we leave our kids at the ymca babysitting for an hour. That is our "date night" right now, romantic I know lol. The time I have free I am serving others with different groups. I lead a "growth group" at church. I know its ironic but I also lead a few "support" type groups. now I need a support group lol. but seriously those times really get my blood pumping and really center me on the important things.
[/quote]
The raquetball sounds great. And it sounds like you're doing a lot more than just work and raise kids, which is a daunting challenge just with that.
Just make sure you are doing some things for yourself, too. You need to take care of YOU too. Your family needs you. 0 -
Thanks for the advice all. BTW anyone can feel free to friend request me just add a little note when you do. You can help keep me on track as I start my new exercise program. I will be posting daily activity.0
-
If you stress eat, try to choose food that aren't as high in calories - instead of a milk shake choose Chocolate soy milk or Vanilla almond milk and make a smoothie - It may not give you that kick of refined sugar but it will satisfy you and it wont cause you to go overboard in calories !
When you come home at night, hug and squeeze each one of your kids when you come in the door -( in your work clothes) - give them a 'sand timer' and tell them that when all the sand is gone (whether that's 3 or 5 minutes) you will be there to play with them.
You NEED a few minutes to change and settle in right
and your kids NEED to respect that, as excited as they are that you are home. This will help de-stress after the long drive... also, I know I feel stressed on a long drive (especially after work if I am hungry), its good to have munchies in the car! IE> Carrot sticks, protein bar, grapes, healthy foods such as these will help make sure that no stress Is coming from being hungry coming through the door and it will keep dinner from being the only thought when you get home.
Its great that you and your wife spend a bit of time together each night... what are you doing on the weekends??> I would suggest a date night every weekend if you can manage that - Also, how much are you exercising? As crazy busy as you are, if you can fit a half hour for exercise in SOMEWHERE each day, it will be so beneficial!
Even if you only have a half hour lunch break but you can take 15 minutes of that to walk, it will help.
Congrats on your weight loss, I hope some of these suggestions will work for you0 -
Get the kids to exercising with you. They will view it as a game. Jumping jacks, stretching exercises, even turning on a you tube video and working out with it the kids will love it. And, it gets them used to the idea of daily exercise and your struggle does not become their struggle someday. Take them with you in the evenings and walk with your wife. They will run around, or put them in a stroller if small enough. Just 30 minutes of activity daily makes a difference.
I get up on my 15 minute breaks and run the stairwell near my office... I go out and walk around the parking lot. I am a full time employee and student masters program; I dont have a lot of time to do nothing more than study when I get off work in the evenings so work is it. I purchased a little floor stationary bike to go under my desk and periodically throughout the day, I sit there and pedal!You would be amazed how fast time flies. The other day, I had been pedaling 31 minutes and I forgot I was pedaling until my boss asked me what I was doing (I was popping sweat and moving out of the ordinary). Just a few suggestions.0 -
You need to stop using your kids as excuses.
You are their father. If you need 30 minutes to do your work out, you set boundaries that they are to entertain themselves and not bother you while you have your time.
If you get up early and the kids get up too, take them for a bike ride, to the park and play soccer or tag with them.
Treats do not have to be food. If you feel you 'deserve' a reward for a tough day, you could reward yourself and your wife with mutual massages, a little grown up play time, a hot bath.... so many options.
I'm going to show this suggestion to my wife lol. changing my reward is my favorites suggestion yet lol. Taking the kids out to play isn't as much of an option I live in the still snowy north east. When it is nice out I do take them for bike rides. I have what my daughter calls her princess carriage that straps to the back of my bike. That is still about a month away.
I am not using them as an excuse they are just the most important things in my life and I don't get home until 6 and they are in bed by 8-8:30 so I try to give them as much time as possible.0 -
If you stress eat, try to choose food that aren't as high in calories - instead of a milk shake choose Chocolate soy milk or Vanilla almond milk and make a smoothie - It may not give you that kick of refined sugar but it will satisfy you and it wont cause you to go overboard in calories !
When you come home at night, hug and squeeze each one of your kids when you come in the door -( in your work clothes) - give them a 'sand timer' and tell them that when all the sand is gone (whether that's 3 or 5 minutes) you will be there to play with them.
You NEED a few minutes to change and settle in right and your kids NEED to respect that, as excited as they are that you are home. This will help de-stress after the long drive... also, I know I feel stressed on a long drive (especially after work if I am hungry), its good to have munchies in the car! IE> Carrot sticks, protein bar, grapes, healthy foods such as these will help make sure that no stress Is coming from being hungry coming through the door and it will keep dinner from being the only thought when you get home.
Its great that you and your wife spend a bit of time together each night... what are you doing on the weekends??> I would suggest a date night every weekend if you can manage that - Also, how much are you exercising? As crazy busy as you are, if you can fit a half hour for exercise in SOMEWHERE each day, it will be so beneficial!
Even if you only have a half hour lunch break but you can take 15 minutes of that to walk, it will help.
Congrats on your weight loss, I hope some of these suggestions will work for you
Love the sand timer idea! Its the worst being bombarded as soon as I come through the door. Great idea thanks!0 -
Hey there!
I have a similar problem. When you feel the urge to stress-eat, replace that moment of giving in with something else that's a stress relief. I actually drink magnesium powder in some hot water at end of the day after dinner called "Natural Calm". Here's a link to that:
http://www.vitaminshoppe.com/p/natural-vitality-natural-calm-raspberry-lemon-8-oz-powder/n3-1002?sourceType=sc&source=FG&adGroup=40-60&keyword=N3-1002&cm_mmc=Google+Shopping-_-Product+Listing+Ads-_-40-60-_-N3-1002&gclid=CPX3rffDob0CFaN9OgodpE0AKQ&gclsrc=aw.ds#.UysW-PldWGo
Usually the urge to binge or to stress eat that ice-cream cone subsides after 10 to 15 minutes, similar with folks that have cravings while trying to quit smoking. When you get the urge to stress-eat, get out of your environment and go for a walk. Have sex with your wife, do some yoga in the living room, play wii fit, read a book, call a friend, go in your backyard and do some jumping-jacks. I know it sounds crazy but you've got to try to stop rewarding yourself with food--you're not a dog! Find something else you enjoy that releases stress and go to that with the urge to stress-eat arises. Stress-eating at night is so tough because your will-power is diminished throughout the day. I know it seems impossible but TRUST ME, the more you resist, the easier it gets. You've got 30-60 minutes of time in your day that you could do something else besides watch TV. Does vegging in front of the TV trigger an urge to snack? Then find something else to do. Good luck and remember you are not alone!0 -
Hey there! I too am a stress eater, and I recognized myself in your post. I have been on MFP for two years this month, and my stress eating has caused me to lose weight quite slowly. I have actually began to overcome it, and for me it has taken patience and persistence, mostly. You have to make sure you are honest in your logging of your food, for me it was the late night fast food while watching tv with my husband after putting the kids to bed (we have three kids). I also have problems when I sit down to study, I'm in college and that is even more stress on me. So what I do now is plan my treats. I try to save room for something at night, if I'm feeling like I'm having a crazy day. Instead of going to get fast food, I try to have something available at home, like ice cream, that's only 150 calories for 1/2 cup usually, and then I'm satisfied. Slowly but surely I'm starting to really get a handle on my stress eating, but it has taken a lot of preparation, reflection (looking back on my diary and seeing where I screwed up) and patience! I have gone from stress eating a couple times a week two years ago, to very rarely today, I just don't get the urge, and if I do it's not strong enough to derail me, I just have a little treat instead. You can overcome this.0
-
I thought I was a stress eater but im more of a "habit eater" I eat because thats what im used to doing. I have 2 boys and im a full time stay at home mum and they are 3yrs and 1.5yrs old and a handful together! They run rings round me and im forever chasing them and hoovering up behind them! I have a treadmill and a stationary bike at home in my living room and they love helping me. If Im on the treadmill the press the heart rate button (I have a HRM so dont need the machines heart rate button) and they are so pleased they are helping mummy exercise. If I put a workout on Youtube they watch or stomp their feet along with me. Maybe make exercise time a fun game for them and they can let you get on with it.
Iv found I have more fun and burn more calories in home workouts then I used to when I used to go to the gym everyday.
Iv found working out a huge stress reliever for me and it feels alot better then eating chocolate/ice cream to make myself happy0 -
This is something I've struggled with- and continue to struggle with- as well. I think food is a very easy and powerful way of dealing with stress; I also think that making major lifestyle changes requires energy and attention, and that can be hard to come by when we're in highly stressful situations. It would be great if I could go out and buy willpower by the bushel and just power through all the things that make me overeat! But until then, here are a few thoughts I had that might make things easier.
Pick clear, achievable goals; once you reach them, try for something new. Maybe you can try only getting a milkshake once a week for a month, then every other week for a month, then once a month, then every other month. Or you can go from getting a large milkshake to getting a medium one for a month, then a small one for a month.
Track your goals! I use an app called Lyft, which lets you track goals, but you can mark it off on the calendar, or check in regularly with your wife or a friend. I do much, much better when I know I have to report in at the end of the month.
It sounds like part of what you enjoy about getting a milkshake is that it gets you a break- you get out of the house. Can you think of a similar trip where you'd pick up something that's not so calorie-dense, like tea or fruit or flavored ice? That would still get you a break and a treat, but with fewer calories.
Finally: you will screw up. This is OK! It means you are human and not a robot. See if you can learn something from your slip-up; that way you can address it in a way that makes it easier for yourself to succeed. Remember, you're building a new pattern for how you'd like to live your life; it's going to take time to learn.
Anyhow, them's my wordy thoughts. I don't know how useful they are, but you read it so now you're stuck with it.0 -
This is a tough love response but... the fact that you sat down after working on your house and thought something like "I deserve this" means that this is a choice that you are electively choosing. It's not a compulsion, it's not even necessarily an emotional need... heck, that scenario, you don't even sound stressed out at the time.
When I think of stress eating, I think of eating when you are on deadline to keep yourself awake... Allowing yourself to have a bag of M&Ms while working on a huge project... Having a horrible day at work and pulling into the first DQ you see and eating the Blizzard before you get home, not out of shame but because the dopamine rush from the eating calms you down.
This sounds like a habit. Habits can be broken. You have kids, it's a given. It's time to acclimate. As long as you consider that stress worthy of eating things that will put you over your calories or whatever, you will struggle to succeed. There is zero reason to get up, leave the house, and get a milkshake. If you had time to do all that, which probably took at least 15 minutes if not more, you had enough time to do some exercise. Therefore, you have time enough to choose an option that will make you happier.
Choose to motivate yourself, and not allow yourself to leave the house for sweets once you're home for the night. I incorporated a reward system for myself at one point to help change the habit... for every day I didn't purchase junk, I would put money that would have been spent on junk into a jar to save for a special thing later.
For the record though, I love milkshakes.. and when I was working out 2-3 hours a day, they were a rather daily thing. I would get one during my recovery hour after water aerobics, as they have decent protein, calcium, calories to supply for the eating back exercise calories, etc. If you're going to fast food joints, look up the calories on the sizes... Some of them aren't so bad, as long as you're working for them. That being said, practically no one needs a large shake, unless they've had oral surgery or something, so scale it back. You CAN work them into your routine, you just have to be honest, and if you didn't do the work today, you don't get to have a milkshake. The work indicated by the "earned calories."
Good luck.
Thanks for your response but to tell me that I am not stressed isn't right. You really have no idea what my life is like you are on the other side of a computer screen. Now that I am finally admitting to my self I am stressed and I have to much on my plate right now really who are you to tell me I'm not stressed. I have talked to my wife about this who has her masters in psychology and just because you make a conscious decision to do something does not mean it isn't compulsive. When people compulsively do something it doesn't mean they are on auto pilot all the time. It means they have developed unhealthy coping mechanisms and that is what I am trying to figure out how to fix. My wife suggested the self talking but sometimes I cant talk myself out of it.
Thanks for your input but I disagree. As far as acclimating to having kids you sound like someone who doesn't have kids. I knew everything about parenting before I had kids too. I know it is going to get easier as they grow and I love every moment with them but right now it is tough! I am just trying to figure out how to fix things I need to fix.
I never said you weren't stressed. I said in that moment, you didn't sound like you were having a stress crisis.
I have been diagnosed with compulsive eating disorder, and am very familiar with the urges to have certain foods even when I don't need them. It does come down to a decision though. It's something a person has to accept in order to move past using food as a coping mechanism. You choose to put food in your mouth if you're not on "auto-pilot" Frankly, if you were on auto-pilot, I would have suggested seeing a psychiatrist. The word compulsive means "against one's conscious urges" so in that sense, it is not compulsive if you are actively choosing and planning to leave your house to take care of it. My compulsive eating problems had to do with pantry raids and eating everything in the house, whether it was a treat or not. There is a big difference between compulsive eating and food addiction.
I can't help but notice that you were perfectly accepting of someone saying don't use your kids as an excuse. That's essentially what I'm saying. This isn't a stress that's going to go away, but one that will be there 24/7. If you allow the stress of having a family to be an excuse, it's not going to get better, because that stress isn't going to go away.
You've been happy to accept others saying you need to replace the habit of food with something else, and that's all I really said. Even in your responses, you've given recognition to many things that show that it may be more from a lack of motivation than a true compulsive problem.
If you're going to discredit someone's input because "they don't know you" and are on a computer, I don't see the point in asking for help here. I'm an honest and well-intentioned person, with personal experience and my own degree in psychology. I focused on ED and abnormal psychology, myself. Ultimately though, we have to move past making excuses, make active choices, and implement change. If you feel it's truly out of your control, it is time to see a professional that isn't related to you.0 -
Weather isn't a valid excuse either.
Go have a snowball fight, build a snowman, go tobogganing (I recently went tobogganing with my brother at the hill we used to go to as kids. I barely made it up the hill and down twice before I was bagged. My dad used to pull two kids up that hill, then walk down to meet us at the bottom continuously for hours.)
Sorry for being harsh. I know your kids are important. So wouldn't you rather have them see you as healthy, strong and fit? Don't you want to live a long life to spend more time with them? Do you want them to grow up to have the same problems you're having?
I'm 33 years old. My dad is still my hero, and I think he can do anything because he was the one who taught me to play tennis, basketball, build a fence and change my own oil and tires.0 -
This is a tough love response but... the fact that you sat down after working on your house and thought something like "I deserve this" means that this is a choice that you are electively choosing. It's not a compulsion, it's not even necessarily an emotional need... heck, that scenario, you don't even sound stressed out at the time.
When I think of stress eating, I think of eating when you are on deadline to keep yourself awake... Allowing yourself to have a bag of M&Ms while working on a huge project... Having a horrible day at work and pulling into the first DQ you see and eating the Blizzard before you get home, not out of shame but because the dopamine rush from the eating calms you down.
This sounds like a habit. Habits can be broken. You have kids, it's a given. It's time to acclimate. As long as you consider that stress worthy of eating things that will put you over your calories or whatever, you will struggle to succeed. There is zero reason to get up, leave the house, and get a milkshake. If you had time to do all that, which probably took at least 15 minutes if not more, you had enough time to do some exercise. Therefore, you have time enough to choose an option that will make you happier.
Choose to motivate yourself, and not allow yourself to leave the house for sweets once you're home for the night. I incorporated a reward system for myself at one point to help change the habit... for every day I didn't purchase junk, I would put money that would have been spent on junk into a jar to save for a special thing later.
For the record though, I love milkshakes.. and when I was working out 2-3 hours a day, they were a rather daily thing. I would get one during my recovery hour after water aerobics, as they have decent protein, calcium, calories to supply for the eating back exercise calories, etc. If you're going to fast food joints, look up the calories on the sizes... Some of them aren't so bad, as long as you're working for them. That being said, practically no one needs a large shake, unless they've had oral surgery or something, so scale it back. You CAN work them into your routine, you just have to be honest, and if you didn't do the work today, you don't get to have a milkshake. The work indicated by the "earned calories."
Good luck.
Thanks for your response but to tell me that I am not stressed isn't right. You really have no idea what my life is like you are on the other side of a computer screen. Now that I am finally admitting to my self I am stressed and I have to much on my plate right now really who are you to tell me I'm not stressed. I have talked to my wife about this who has her masters in psychology and just because you make a conscious decision to do something does not mean it isn't compulsive. When people compulsively do something it doesn't mean they are on auto pilot all the time. It means they have developed unhealthy coping mechanisms and that is what I am trying to figure out how to fix. My wife suggested the self talking but sometimes I cant talk myself out of it.
Thanks for your input but I disagree. As far as acclimating to having kids you sound like someone who doesn't have kids. I knew everything about parenting before I had kids too. I know it is going to get easier as they grow and I love every moment with them but right now it is tough! I am just trying to figure out how to fix things I need to fix.
I never said you weren't stressed. I said in that moment, you didn't sound like you were having a stress crisis.
I have been diagnosed with compulsive eating disorder, and am very familiar with the urges to have certain foods even when I don't need them. It does come down to a decision though. It's something a person has to accept in order to move past using food as a coping mechanism. You choose to put food in your mouth if you're not on "auto-pilot" Frankly, if you were on auto-pilot, I would have suggested seeing a psychiatrist. The word compulsive means "against one's conscious urges" so in that sense, it is not compulsive if you are actively choosing and planning to leave your house to take care of it. My compulsive eating problems had to do with pantry raids and eating everything in the house, whether it was a treat or not. There is a big difference between compulsive eating and food addiction.
I can't help but notice that you were perfectly accepting of someone saying don't use your kids as an excuse. That's essentially what I'm saying. This isn't a stress that's going to go away, but one that will be there 24/7. If you allow the stress of having a family to be an excuse, it's not going to get better, because that stress isn't going to go away.
You've been happy to accept others saying you need to replace the habit of food with something else, and that's all I really said. Even in your responses, you've given recognition to many things that show that it may be more from a lack of motivation than a true compulsive problem.
If you're going to discredit someone's input because "they don't know you" and are on a computer, I don't see the point in asking for help here. I'm an honest and well-intentioned person, with personal experience and my own degree in psychology. I focused on ED and abnormal psychology, myself. Ultimately though, we have to move past making excuses, make active choices, and implement change. If you feel it's truly out of your control, it is time to see a professional that isn't related to you.
I didn't take your advice because you started with stating I was not stressed and I don't see how someone who doesn't know me can say that. Nobody else on here said that they offered suggestions. That is why I discounted your advice. Now if you didn't mean it that way then we will chalk it up to miss communication. But your "lack of motivation" comment makes me think you don't really understand the situation. I am very motivated person. That is the problem is I am burning the wick at both ends. I am going all the time and keeping 50 million thinks in the air at once. That is the problem and the one thing that I see helping this is now giving up even more sleep to try and get to the gym. I am not trying to make excuses I am trying to figure out how to fix this issue while being as busy as I am. Both of your post sort of come off as insulting if you didn't mean it that way fine but the way you word things I find it hard to accept your advice with any credibility.0 -
Since you do recognize that you stress eat perhaps look at what you can do to reduce or deal with the stress in your life better. These are just a couple of ideas from what you said add to your stress
work - Of course you may be limited to how much you can reduce work stress but maybe you can do things to help deal with it better. You mentioned that watching your fish is non-stressful. Perhaps you can take a short video of them and when you start to get too stressed at work just take a couple of minutes to watch the video even if you can only do this on your lunch break. Think of other ways you can deal with stress at work if you can't do that...like take a short walk and take a few deep breathes.
commute - I'm not sure if it's the length of the commute or the annoying drivers but try to make the ride more enjoyable. Play the music you don't get to listen to when the kids are around, get an audio book to listen to since you have no time to read, or anything else you can safely do while driving that you enjoy.
getting home - Talk to your wife to see if there is something you two can work out. I'm sure she is stressed at the end of the day too so maybe you can work out a schedule to help you both out. Like when you get home take a minute to say hi to everyone then have your wife distract the kids for 5 minutes while you change (and take a minute to watch your fish
). Then you take over watching the kids so she can do whatever she needs to do to de-stress. If you both are more relaxed maybe dinner time won't be so bad.
Anyway...just some ideas for you. I don't stress eat but I eat more when I wake up exhausted so I've tried to focus on sleeping better. I have some health issues that affect my sleeping so when I'm craving more I realize I'm more exhausted than usual and think back to why I didn't sleep...usually it's because I ignored a warning sign that it's not going to be a good health night and went to bed instead of stretching or taking the extra meds to prevent the pain or muscle/nerve spasms that will wake me up all night.
The sooner you can recognize you are getting too stressed the better so you can deal with it right away to relax a bit and avoid the stress eating.
Hope this helps!0 -
I liked cwolfman13's comment earlier about the gym being "another thing to do". That's a good point. If we're already feeling stressed and just can't find enough hours in the day to get everything done, is it wise to add another thing to our plate? Should fitting in a gym routine be a goal we shoot for after we make some genuine adjustments/modifications to our lifestyle or something we jump right back into?
I speak from personal experience. I was a regular at my gym but a relationship and family obligations began to chew away at my extra time. I'm not making excuses; for me that's just the way it worked out. My gym membership just expired (haven't been in months) and I don't plan to renew until I can make some changes on my own.0 -
First of all, as a brown belt in karate - Osu!
Did your Sensei teach you meditation when you trained? I have an Autistic daughter and an Army husband who is rarely home in time to help with her or the house or the yard or two feet of snow from a twenty-foot driveway, so I know a thing or two about stressful days, lol. The thing that has helped me the most to cope is forming the meditation habit - a single, simple posture I can adopt anywhere that relaxes my mind because I use it so often. I use it for sure every night before bed to release the troubles of the day from my mind and help me sleep better, and when things get really bad during the day I take just a moment or two to place my hands correctly, straighten my back and picture my calm scene, and it helps me lose the edge from what's got me worked up. (Usually a child meltdown.) Once the edge is off I find I can think a little clearer and make better decisions.
I did a lot of emotional/stress eating too, but taking a moment to relax has really helped me kick the habit. Once you've been doing it a while all you have to do is assume the posture and your body knows what to do without thinking about it - very quick and helpful.0 -
I'm sometimes a stress eater. If I crave something while stressed, I either go draw, or listen to music. (Sometimes both!) You could always go on a nice long walk while listening to music. It helps a lot. 0
-
While having an awesome wife and beautiful children seems like it should be all we need to bring us joy, I am thinking you must not be finding time for yourself to just do something really for you. I am a recovering binge eater. I don't have kids but I am a hairstylist who has held many a crying parent when they feel like they are ready to blow or failing or can't get a moment to themselves. You approached the milk shake as a treat you deserved. And it sounds like you got in the car, which gave you a moment of peace and quiet. You got to bring your girl a treat, making her smile and for a split second you guys got to have peace and something that was your pleasure. I think finding something other than food to fulfill your spirit and soul is what could help. Do you have a hobby that lets you just breath? Is there something you love? When I go into my binge place it is usually because I don't know what else to do with myself or whatever I have to do seems wretched. Because I don't have the kids I can plop and hork it in until I feel fulfilled. If I find things that fill my life that make me happy, I don't eat. I will be honest, I have been going to bed before 9 lately because nights are my trigger and I need to change the pattern. Is there anyway you and your wife could find sometime together to fulfill your spirits? Date night, a walk, snuggle time, scrabble, side by side candy crush? For you, can you find time for a golf game or an old hobby that feeds you so you don't have to use food? We pair up and then multiply. It is what so many of us aim for. If brings you such joy, I am sure, but losing yourself and moments to just be are the sacrifice. You have to create the space. Good luck!!! You can't change what you don't see. Congrats on recognizing the pattern!0
-
Realize when you are stressed and then ... dont eat crap. It's all about self control - otherwise you're just gonna excuse yourself to obesity.0
-
So got my butt out of bed this morning and hit the gym. I feel great.when I got home and was making breakfast for me and the kids my wife commented that I sounded like I was in a good mood. I thought for a second and said you know I am. So I know this is a stress reliever I just need to remember that when I am stressed and not reach for the pizza or nachos.0
-
great start!!So got my butt out of bed this morning and hit the gym. I feel great.when I got home and was making breakfast for me and the kids my wife commented that I sounded like I was in a good mood. I thought for a second and said you know I am. So I know this is a stress reliever I just need to remember that when I am stressed and not reach for the pizza or nachos.0 -
Fantastic! Now you definitely deserve that back massage! Keep it up!0
-
Alcohol!0
Categories
- All Categories
- 1.4M Health, Wellness and Goals
- 393.4K Introduce Yourself
- 43.8K Getting Started
- 260.2K Health and Weight Loss
- 175.9K Food and Nutrition
- 47.4K Recipes
- 232.5K Fitness and Exercise
- 427 Sleep, Mindfulness and Overall Wellness
- 6.5K Goal: Maintaining Weight
- 8.5K Goal: Gaining Weight and Body Building
- 153K Motivation and Support
- 8K Challenges
- 1.3K Debate Club
- 96.3K Chit-Chat
- 2.5K Fun and Games
- 3.7K MyFitnessPal Information
- 24 News and Announcements
- 1.1K Feature Suggestions and Ideas
- 2.6K MyFitnessPal Tech Support Questions