Super skinny boyfriend comments on my weight ALL THE TIME

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  • narfy88
    narfy88 Posts: 15 Member
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    I'm not going to leave you judgemental comments or tell you how your boyfriend sounds like a total douche, because he obviously has to have some redeeming qualities that you find endearing or you wouldn't have spend years of your life taking his crap. I'm just going to give you some advice because I too have dealt with a (somewhat) similar problem in my relationship. I have been with my boyfriend going on 8 years. I've gained over 100 pounds in those 8 years. After all that weight, my boyfriend loves me just the same. He doesn't harp on my weight or make mean comments. But he sees how it effects ME and my day to day life and self esteem, so he encourages me to make a healthy change to better my life, and ultimately better his. For a little while, i was hung up on him making this change with me. I felt like I cant do this on my own, which is true. But he wasn't so keen on it at first, and thats when I started turning to MFP for the support I needed. Now, 3 months into my weight loss, he is more on board then ever.Maybe you need to do as I did, and have serious sit down talk with him. Tell him how it makes you feel with he insults you for eating vegatables. Tell him you are trying to make a change for your happieness and he can either be there for you or keep his mouth shut.
    Since your boyfriend refuses to be your support system, you need to find something else. Even if its just logging in to MFP and randomly requesting Pals and then messaging them to try to get some people in your corner. Or join a gym and get a buddy. Find a healthy coworker thats willing to hear you out. This is a big piece of the puzzle that it sounds like your missing.

    Next, you and your boyfriend need to start doing the grocery shopping TOGETHER. Make a list of all the healthy foods you need to buy, and then try to add them up to see how much its going to cost. If you have any money left, tell your boyfriend the rest of the money is his to buy is junk food with. Maybe you should make your own cabinet or fridge space and tell him thats your healthy cabinet that he's not to eat from?

    I hope that you realize that you shouldn't be trying to lose weight for anyone but yourself. If you can live with a little bit of chub, but HE can't then its HIS problem, not yours. But if you are truly unhappy with your appearance, that quit starving yourself and start making REAL healthy choices. It sounds like you know what your doing isn't the 'right' way to do this. You need to focus on you and everyone else's opinions come second. I know its easier said than done when you put your boyfriend's wants and needs before your own sometimes, but it doesn't sound like he does the same. Good luck to you.
  • EllieB_5
    EllieB_5 Posts: 247 Member
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    Every other sentence I read I was like "omg, why is she with this d-bag??" He stays at your place only if you have food to eat; he makes @sshole comments to you regularly; not only does he eat all your food, but he eats all the food everyone else he knows has in their homes; he has no job, seems unmotivated to get a job, mooches off of everyone including you.

    My advice, give him his walking papers if you haven't already. He's a huge @sshole who doesn't deserve a relationship of any kind.
  • Jerrypeoples
    Jerrypeoples Posts: 1,541 Member
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    you should marry him
  • izzyxoxbaby
    izzyxoxbaby Posts: 2
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    Hey~
    I understand that boyfriend related solutions can be easier said then done.
    I'm sure you understand that he's not the right guy for you right now but you just can't do anything it.
    What you need right now is support. Not a guy that's going to bring you down and make you feel financially and mentally unstable.
    When you starve yourself all day like that and eat junk food which has absolutely no nutritional values...your body is not going to appreciate it. Your cells basically save all of the fat to use as energy later, on the other hand if you eat regularly, your cells use those fat and burn it off as energy. Plus, later on you end up binge eating. I honestly still have temptations to starve all day and eat a low calorie filling food at night and go to sleep. Even if that low calorie food for instance an apple has nutritional value, my body will save it as fat. I'm honestly really frusterated with my weight also, that's why I signed up for this site. You're not the only one..and I'm not some stranger passing by this site. I hope your situation gets better and..the guy..just leave him. If that's difficult, meet another guy or just a close guy friend to get this loser out of your life. Doesn't seem like he has respect for you anyways. Were all here to support each other so stay in touch :)!!!
  • CarlaMichelle
    CarlaMichelle Posts: 67 Member
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    You need to lose about 120 pounds. Everyone before me who said Love Yourself and move on with your life was right! AND i'm 5'3 and there is not way you were chubby at 115.... If i was 115 my family would be calling an intervention... it sounds like you need an intervention of your own. Please love yourself and do what is good for you!
  • bmbaldridge
    bmbaldridge Posts: 15 Member
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    You're clearly unhappy in the relationship. Break up - people do it all the time. Boyfriend is immature and is either delusional or trying to pick fights. Either way, drop him like a ton of bricks.
  • twinklemcgee
    twinklemcgee Posts: 32 Member
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    Dump his *kitten*!!
  • lardbut1960
    lardbut1960 Posts: 20 Member
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    He's not going to change,
    He's not going to get better,
    He isn't interested in a long term relationship,
    He is a user and I'll bet he'll cheat on you,
    He's not worth your attention,
    It will hurt bad to be without him,
    And after that is over, someone who will really care for you will come round.

    I feel for you, you are in a tough boat, and have to hake a hard choice to value yourself over the relationship.
  • digidream
    digidream Posts: 27 Member
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    I can't tell you to leave but if you want, rather than having a week's worth of food in your kitchen, just make a trip to the store every day and only buy what you will be eating that day. That way you avoid having food around that you might binge eat and also if he comes over, there's no food for him to eat. Just an idea. Anyway, sorry for the long response, good luck honey. I feel for you, I know what it's like and it's not easy.

    Hey-
    I think I'm going to try that, although I do like stocking up on deal stuff, but I guess it doesn't save $ in the end... and I've been figuring out lately what sorts of foods survive the onslaught, like if I have any fruit in the fridge it survives! And he doesn't look twice at veggies! I just can't have any grains/cereal/bread/pretzels or cheese stuff, but this could actually force me to eat alot healthier.
  • digidream
    digidream Posts: 27 Member
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    you should marry him

    Sure thing! :D
  • digidream
    digidream Posts: 27 Member
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    He's not going to change,
    He's not going to get better,
    He isn't interested in a long term relationship,
    He is a user and I'll bet he'll cheat on you,
    He's not worth your attention,
    It will hurt bad to be without him,
    And after that is over, someone who will really care for you will come round.

    I feel for you, you are in a tough boat, and have to hake a hard choice to value yourself over the relationship.
    That first part was kind of poetic
  • digidream
    digidream Posts: 27 Member
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    I just want to say thank you to everyone who offered advice or personal stories. I don't come on this website as often as I should, but everyone seems really really supportive and friendly here.. So I'm definitely going to come on here more often, and stop using other people as excuses for why I don't try enough.
    I'm sorry that everything came out in a huge rant but thanks for all the advice (I really didn't expect such an overwhelming rush of "ahh dump him! Set him on fire and throw the body in the river!"... but now I know that we have loads of problems that I've been trying to ignore/avoid) and I need to lose weight for the right reasons and the right way... but this was actually like a really cool counseling session.
    You guys are awesome!
  • uconnwinsnc
    uconnwinsnc Posts: 1,054 Member
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    No man should weight 120 pounds. Tell him to hit the weight room and fix that scrawny little boy body of his. I know a 23 year old who has diabetes and he is jacked, so that excuse of his doesn't count.
  • Kenazwa
    Kenazwa Posts: 278 Member
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    Lose 120 pounds and tell the mooch to forget your name, address, and telephone number because you're DONE. And mean it! I've had a boyfriend similar, too. He was a vampire, always sucking my resources, giving nothing back. Why I put up with it as long as I did I have no idea. You'll be asking yourself the same question after you get over the stress of dumping him, I promise.
  • ThinkInOregon
    ThinkInOregon Posts: 283
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    It sounds like you need to take a serious look at your relationship.
    Why are you with someone who makes you feel bad about yourself?
    Why are you supporting someone who doesn't want to support themselves?

    +1 here.

    So far I didn't hear you (the OP) say one redeeming thing about him.
  • getmysexybodyback
    getmysexybodyback Posts: 13
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    Hey! I have a quick way for you to lose 120 lbs of complete *kitten*! Just DTMFA.

    If you don't, especially after like 100 people on here have told you the same thing, you need to ask yourself, why are you staying in a relationship just so you have an excuse to complain, maintain habits that don't serve you (such as overeating, stressing) and hide behind someone else holding you back from your own success?

    Personally, I don't care for skinny guys at all. I love muscles! (Think Vin Diesel or the Rock). So make the next guy you select as your boyfriend someone buffed out who compliments you a lot and loves to do fun, sexy, active things together and maybe even hit the gym together and train you while admiring your fine self - including the booty!
  • Fullsterkur_woman
    Fullsterkur_woman Posts: 2,712 Member
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    I just want to say thank you to everyone who offered advice or personal stories. I don't come on this website as often as I should, but everyone seems really really supportive and friendly here.. So I'm definitely going to come on here more often, and stop using other people as excuses for why I don't try enough.
    I'm sorry that everything came out in a huge rant but thanks for all the advice (I really didn't expect such an overwhelming rush of "ahh dump him! Set him on fire and throw the body in the river!"... but now I know that we have loads of problems that I've been trying to ignore/avoid) and I need to lose weight for the right reasons and the right way... but this was actually like a really cool counseling session.
    You guys are awesome!
    giphy.gif

    You're brave and strong! You will survive.
  • trogalicious
    trogalicious Posts: 4,584 Member
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    I just want to say thank you to everyone who offered advice or personal stories. I don't come on this website as often as I should, but everyone seems really really supportive and friendly here.. So I'm definitely going to come on here more often, and stop using other people as excuses for why I don't try enough.
    I'm sorry that everything came out in a huge rant but thanks for all the advice (I really didn't expect such an overwhelming rush of "ahh dump him! Set him on fire and throw the body in the river!"... but now I know that we have loads of problems that I've been trying to ignore/avoid) and I need to lose weight for the right reasons and the right way... but this was actually like a really cool counseling session.
    You guys are awesome!
    yLipVvt.gif
  • sweetcurlz67
    sweetcurlz67 Posts: 1,168 Member
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    Sorry girl... but it sounds like he's hindering your efforts and he's no good for you. He's using you. Dump him.

    Easy for me to say - NOW. Took me 22 years to leave an abusive relationship!
  • thuyhan7
    thuyhan7 Posts: 1
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    Well...we only know what we have been told.
    He should try to motivate you by working out together or do other physical activity indoor or outdoor like hiking biking etc..
    If NOT, you have a Big decision to make because you seems like you were doing fine before he came along :) Just saying

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