Who made you become overweight?

ptsmiles

Me!

buzzcogs

Me, myself, and I! ;-0

JustinAnimal

Like everyone's said, it's obviously me with a big BUT...

...I was raised to clean my plate every time. We never wasted food. It's the way my parents were raised and, growing up with parents who didn't feel "well off" meant we had to eat everything in front of us. I wish that habit hadn't been bred into me, because it's something I really struggle with. I can be full, but feel the need to clear my plate. I can have cleared my plate and my wife will have some things on her plate... and I'll feel compelled to finish it. It fees stupid to say I feel like it's an accomplishment when I LEAVE something on my plate, but it's been a very tough habit to break. Something I'm going to do differently with my children.

LianaG1115

No one to blame but yourself...Me.

Samenamenewlook

The most correct and truthful answer is me ... obviously. But I'd much rather blame my husband since he knocked me up 3 times and that's when it started.

EvanKeel

I think there's possibly a more interesting conversation to be had about how cultural changes in relationship to food have influenced the decisions that people make. It doesn't really have anything to do with blame as such.

For example, my parents were the children of farmers who went through the Great Depression. They learned that you did not waste food, and they ate a lot because they burned a lot of calories. In their lives as adults they both settled into desk jobs, while a culture of convenience and technology grew up around them. Their eating habits did not change, though.

I don't think it even occurred to them that there was something incompatible between their energy needs and the amounts they were consuming until they were significantly over weight. And they weren't that overweight until after I was in my teens. By then, I had already picked up their eating habits, and didn't think anything of it. I wasn't particularly overweight until my 20s.

If a decent curriculum could be established (big "if" there), I wouldn't be opposed to nutrition section as part of a science class in high school--bio chem perhaps; my high school may have been unique in having a bio-chem class, though. If nothing else, a "Hey fellas, you're not going to have the metabolism of a 17 year old forever" speech couldn't hurt.

So yes, I make the decisions about what I put in my mouth, but teaching kids how it all works and how bodies change over time might be nice. Of course, we'd have to decide on how it all works first.

eileen0515

Me, myself, and I. Just like me, myself and I made myself a slender person.

Eoghann

Personally I blame age. I was just fine until my thirties. Could eat anything and didn't put on weight.

Okay... so maybe failure to adapt to my body's changing requirements?

Fine... It's MY fault!

rexroars

As soon as we went off to college (separate years), my brother and I both dropped 30+ pounds.

Obviously at this point, as a 23 year old, it's 100% my decision whether I am healthy or not. But I think parenting plays a huge role - and my parents are both very overweight and have lots and lots of health problems because of it (such as needing knee surgery, ankle injuries, not being able to walk more than 10 minutes).

They eat fast food SO regularly and are both very addicted to sugar.

Even now, when I go to visit them, I have to plan very carefully to be able to eat healthily without offending them. They act very offended if I turn down fast food, as if by doing so I'm calling them fat. And also my mother gets very upset if I talk about losing weight or working out, etc and tells me I'll be too thin (which is getting closer to being true, but she even said that when my BMI was categorized as overweight and the doctor told me to lose weight.)

I think that parents overfeeding their children is a huge problem in the US. My parents were fine, I was only a bit chubby, but children who are morbidly obese should not exist. I personally believe that is as much child abuse as a parent who gave their kid alcohol or cigarettes etc. It's obviously delicate territory and a line would have to be drawn somewhere. But still a problem.

OneStepLighter

Nope, have to say myself! My mom didn't force me to eat everything off my plate but I knew I was going too! Even if my mom fixed my portions a bit smaller, I'd always be the one to go back and fix it even bigger. At the time, I didn't think I was eating too much at the time but then again, didn't have as much knowledge about how much I was putting in my body and so on. My parents would try and tell me I'm overeating but I didn't care. Now, I'm still learning, still listening and moving forward! Super glad for it!

EllieB_5

I'm the one who stuffed my face with all the wrong foods.

Having said that, my parents did instill some bad eating habits. We had to clean our plates, hungry or not, and I still battle that compulsion. Also grazing; grazing while meals were being made was always huge and is another thing I need to remind myself to not do any more. Hm, and "picking". While everyone sits around the table after a meal, talking, with all the platters of food still there, picking at the foods all night was another bad habit I really battle with. Maybe that falls under grazing

runitskat

I think my problem was looking at food as a luxury. Growing up we were very poor. We got a lot of food from charity and were on government assistance. There wasn't a lot of eating out and the food we did have wasn't much. So when I got older and had my own money, I saw eating out as some what of a special thing that I could do as much as I wanted. That coupled with knowing nothing about nutrition is how I got fat. Being on steroids for arthritis didn't help either but it was mainly eating all the junk I never had while growing up.

Ang108

I obviously know that ultimately I put the food in my mouth. So obviously me

But do you think that your childhood homelife and parents contribute to you being overweight as you get older? Like when you see a fat child ? Or parents who aren't educated in what and how to cook?

Or maybe partners who eat badly? Or do you just think its all your fault for eating too much?

Just curious:)

It was all me. I grew up in postwar Germany where everyone ate what they could get their hands on. When things got better we all ate better. After that I was old enough to know what I wanted to eat, cook for myself and inform myself.
I have stopped blaming my parents decades ago for anything in my life. I had decades to remedy things and if I didn't, that was my choice and not my family's fault. I started to gain weight about ten years ago....my mom and dad died 54 years ago....I have no one to blame but myself.....and I don't even do that. I made my choices , some, in regard to food were bad over the last ten years and now I try to remedy the situation.
I come from a culture where people generally don't snack, don't go out to eat a lot and from a family that was slender. I never thought much about restricting food because at just under five feet I weighed usually 100-108 pounds. Only in my mid to late fifties did I start to over eat (still very healthy food ) after losing my thyroid and developing autoimmune diseases......I regret these days that I was not more on the ball.....but I guess at the time I just did not have the resources ( mostly emotionally ) to take better care of myself.....so I started to eat...a lot.

asp415

my, myself & I. It was my choice to eat too much & my choice to be a lazy sloth. My family is thin & healthy, it's all on me.

alisonmarytuck

Its me ...but as a child food and rewards went together so I suppose psychologically that had an impact. But my choices now - and Ive changed them!

yo_andi

Please continue to blame your problems on every other factor in your life besides yourself... then report back in a year on your progress, k? :flowerforyou:

Ang108

Please continue to blame your problems on every other factor in your life besides yourself... then report back in a year on your progress, k? :flowerforyou:

Are we reading the same thread ? I am inpressed with how people here take responsibility for themselves not blaming anyone else. Are you just naturally angry .....:o) ?

montana_girl

Like a lot of people have said... it was me.

But... my bad eating habits started as child, so some of that (a lot) could be blamed on my parents. My brother and I spent a lot of time unsupervised because both of my parents worked, and worked hours that most of my childhood only one parent was home at a time (mom worked days, dad work nights and had Sunday/Monday off). So there was a lot of convenience food dinners and meals.

However, once I got to be of an age that I could drive, had a job, and could buy my own food, then it was all me. I knew that veggies were healthier than potato chips and pop, and I knew that a home cooked meal was healthier than a Big Mac Meal. I just made bad choices.

JustinAnimal

Please continue to blame your problems on every other factor in your life besides yourself... then report back in a year on your progress, k? :flowerforyou:

Are we reading the same thread ? I am inpressed with how people here take responsibility for themselves not blaming anyone else. Are you just naturally angry .....:o) ?

Yeah, pretty curious who they were responding to. Like the OP said, no one put a gun to our head and said, "eat." However, there are factors that contribute and take time to conquer before we can have healthier relationships with food. No problem in exploring your eating / exercise issues in a SUPPORTIVE environment...

cparter

Friends and sorts (especially the Debbie downers who have to opin on everything),

Like be real here. Yes, the bottom line comes to me being responsible to me.

However, unless you are psychology major, you cannot ascertain the impact of the bricks that make up the wall in your life.

If you had an abusive past, parents that did not care what crap went in their mouths or their kids, or a traumatic experience that led to unhealthy habits; it is a part of who you are.

Not everyone can just jump up in the morning and say "ok, this is it - I am going to eat right and not be unhealthy anymore". This is just not logical.

Yes, there are many of us that come go through a storm and come to the realization of what caused the storm. Then we can get past it and go on with a healthy life style.

Still, there are as many of us who require additional assistance; whether that be counseling, surgery or whatever.

Not everyone is genetically and mentally engineered the same. Some can self motivate while others need to go through serious counseling to help them conquer the demons before they can move forward with their lives.

I hate to do this long spill but it burns me when people are so opinionated that they think life is based on the way they did it vice realizing that we are not all the same and we overcome things differently.

Just saying. (This is not and will not be proof read so hammer the grammar or whatever mistakes I made as you will)

cstringfellow2013

I blame OBAMA!!!



Or laziness. Whatever works.

brynnsmom

No one helped make me fat any more than they helped me get to my ideal weight. People are responsible for what they eat. Period.

alisonmarytuck

Do you feel this response is helpful ? the original post was a genuine question and many people have accepted their own responsibility whilst recognising influencing factors. Perhaps it would help you to think about what causes your apparent anger. I hope you are having success with your fitness/weightloss goals as so many are on this site

Aaron_K123

I made myself overweight. I have no time or inclination to make excuses for myself.

boombalatty123

Being fat helped me avoid negative attention as a child. Don't really want to go into it, but even pedos don't like fatties.

labtechmike

I obviously know that ultimately I put the food in my mouth. So obviously me

But do you think that your childhood homelife and parents contribute to you being overweight as you get older? Like when you see a fat child ? Or parents who aren't educated in what and how to cook?

Or maybe partners who eat badly? Or do you just think its all your fault for eating too much?

Just curious:)

I think it depends from person to person but yea I think the people around you contribute to what and how much you eat. I know my grandparents are always trying to feed me I grew up in an over weight family I also think that has something to do with how you eat, but the key is to take control of your life and who you be around.

Rose6300

I shall blame . . . Lyme Disease! I didn't know I had it until after I'd had it for a while, just felt really old at 49. Figured it was because I was 49. Lazed around, started acting old, gained 20 pounds. Finally got diagnosed when I had fluid drained from my swollen knee. Then my mother passed away and I spent a lot of time cleaning up her affairs. Just settled in to doddering old age. Convinced myself I had fibromyalgia, went to a specialist who told me I didn't, and that I needed to start exercising. Even though I kind of already knew that, something clicked that day and I began my journey back to health. I feel just like I did at 48 (I'm now 51), which is pretty good.

sandracarter5

People around me always made comments that made me insecure every time I gained as few as 3-4 pounds. I was never fat, but I am not skinny either. So everyone "made sure" I didn't get fat by pointing every single time that I didn't look "perfect". Probably the most that got to me were the comments from my ex, who apparently would not want to be with me if I didn't look like a model. This made spend years living on very restricted diets, but then binge as soon as I took a "cheat day". That's what made me gain weight, the yo-yo dieting because I just didn't know how to live healthily and happy. I thought I had to starve myself, and then I just lost control as soon as I started eating out.
I know ultimately the food was put in my mouth by me, but yes, people can definitely influence a lot over these decisions.

This is a very similar situation to me, was always made to believe I was fat, when I wasn't, so I believed I was fat, I looked in the mirror and saw a fat person and that is what I became without even realising it. Until a few years back I was going through old " fat" pictures of myself and suddenly I saw that I was not fat back then what so ever, I cried my eyes out when I in particular how cruel my own mother was me, she always made fat comments to me all my life, I think it was just I always had a big bust and was more developed than the other kids. She continued to put me down into my forties, until the last straw a few years ago, when she said that no one would want to be with me because I'm fat, I cut her out of my life and have now lost 7 stone in total and still have a way to go. So yes other people can definitely influence how you perceive yourself if it is drummed into you enough.

JenSD6

I didn't battle with my weight until I moved away from home. I replaced country living and garden eating with a fast food lifestyle. Instead of driving an hour to get a bag of chips, I could just walk across the street whenever I felt like it.

All me. 100%.

lindsey1979

I don't really find blame to be all that useful, especially because it takes the power away from the individual to make positive changes going forward. However, I do find looking into contributory factors to be really helpful because it can help you make informed, purposeful decisions (just who is to "blame" for things in the past doesn't really appeal to me).

As for my story, I was always fairly thin growing up -- was quite athletic, so never had to worry about food amounts. I ate whatever I wanted until I was about 20 with no problems, likely because I was so active. I put on a good 40 lbs or so when I was 20 after a really nasty attack. Of course, I didn't realize it at the time, but looking back on it, it was pretty obvious. I felt safer being fatter -- I felt more substantial and less of a target as I garnered far less attention from men.

My Mom was/is pretty emotionally challenged. One of the ways she expressed love and affection was by cooking -- and she'd get so upset if you didn't eat what she prepared for you -- like it was a rejection of her. So, I often ate things even when I wasn't hungry to make her happy. As a kid this wasn't a problem because of my activity levels, but as an adult, it was challenging (I can remember her being in tears about declining a piece of her cheesecake). I also grew up in a family where being thin was pretty important -- both my parents were pretty good looking folks so having a fat kid (even as an adult) was not something they wanted reflected back on them. My Dad would pinch my tummy from time to time and would remind me about how important it was not to get fat throughout my childhood. To this day, the bulk of my conversation with my mother surrounds food and dieting (she's not so good relating on all other levels -- that whole emotionally challenged thing). Shoot, up until my father's death, he had divided the family into the "fat team" and the "thin team" -- and for those like me that bounced around in adulthood, it was often a topic of conversation at holidays who was on the fat team and who was on the thin team. I don't think either meant to be particularly cruel with this -- I figured it was probably just how they were raised -- but it certainly didn't make being a teenage girl very easy (even though I was thin the whole time). I also grew up in southern California where the ideals of beauty and being thin are far less forgiving than many other places. I also realized as an adult that I often ate food (especially sweets) to fill emotional voids in my life -- anxiety being the biggest for me -- as food was always consistent and available (unlike either parent).

As I result I yo-yo'd pretty often with those same 40 lbs from 20+ years old. And, finally at 35, I diagnosed with hypothyroid and insulin resistance -- and, am finally now losing those 40 lbs like a "normal" person", with hopes to keep it off permanently.

Who's to blame? Who cares. But, it has helped me to better understand these underlying factors, so I can address them with my eating habits. Learning about and accepting the emotional issues makes them less of food triggers. My parents weren't the best. They were/are flawed human beings like we all are. However, they also did some really great things too -- just not so good with the food/emotional issues.

Before understanding this, I was definitely controlled by these sleeping demons far more than I ever would have imagined and used food for plenty of not-so-good reasons. But understanding and accepting these issues, lets me move on and make more purposeful choices and frees me from those demons. Life is a journey.