Who made you become overweight?
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someone just looked at me with their eye and i swelled up like a balloon
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It was all MY doing, definitely. Growing up, we lived on a farm and had a huge garden. So, even though we were poor, there was always fresh vegetables, fruit, eggs, chicken, pork and beef for us to eat. Mom came from a big family that was very poor as well and never knew when her next meal would be and if there would be enough for everyone. Consequently, she always made sure we had enough food and desert. No matter what! We were initiated into the clean plate club as well because of the 'starving kids in Africa' concept. I was an extremely active child right through high school though, so I never packed on the pounds back then.
My weight problems started when I was pregnant with my first child. I bought into the whole idea of "you're eating for two now" that everyone was telling me. Having said that, I didn't have to listen, but I love food so I happily agreed and stuffed myself. Things just went downhill from there. Two more children, a desk job, no exercise, lots of fast food and regular soda, PLUS a husband who loves me no matter what size I am all contributed.
But ultimately, it all comes down to me. I'm the one that made me overweight AND the one who decided to do something about it after giving myself permission to eat whatever I wanted and not exercise much at all for 27 years.0 -
As a kid i was told to "make a happy plat" aka eat all of the food on your plate. We were also "praised" for eating a bigger portion (how odd is that). So I learned early to eat past the point of satisfaction....
Since i was overweight as a child, that led to insecurities and emotional eating. Although you can't blame others for the state you are in currently, the facts are the facts...0 -
As I troll through the responses, I think I might sense a thread.
Yes, I put the food in my mouth and yes there are other forces at work.
As I look at historical pictures, I can see that I have always been "big boned". My mother (and through her, 3 of my 4 sisters) have no clue about truly healthy eating and portion sizes. (The 4th one works hard at maintaining a healthy lifestyle because she has to deal with 3 diabetics in the house). I have had to teach myself what is truly healthy vs what is perceived to be healthy. I have had to work hard to be at the level that I am at - enduring their questions and (at some times) ridicule about my choices.
Do I blame any one of them? No way! But do I acknowledge that they had and continue to have an impact? Absolutely!! As a smart person once said to me: If you're working in a kitchen full of people and someone accidentally hits you with a knife, do you ignore it and carry on without doing anything about it? NO - you acknowledge it happened, you fix the problem and you find a solution so that it doesn't happen again.0 -
Not so much a who as a what. ****ing seroquel. And the worst part is, I gained all this weight and the medication didn't even work!!! UGH.0
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Do I blame any one of them? No way! But do I acknowledge that they had and continue to have an impact? Absolutely!! As a smart person once said to me: If you're working in a kitchen full of people and someone accidentally hits you with a knife, do you ignore it and carry on without doing anything about it? NO - you acknowledge it happened, you fix the problem and you find a solution so that it doesn't happen again.
I like this.
I think 90% of the responses here are NOT blaming anyone else, but explaining some of the conditions and habits that led to their weight gain and often unhealthy lifestyles. That is certainly the case for me.0 -
Unfortunately for myself, I am solely responsible. No one in my family is overweight except my MIL (not anymore) and she has never influenced me. If I was to put partial rresponsibility elsewhere, it would be life and being a mom....I just stopped taking care of myself.0
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I got told off a load of people even family when i was younger that i was fat made me self conscious of myself (looking back at photos i wasnt anywhere near being "fat") it made me feel horrible, as time went on i started to get comfortable with my life and i didnt see me making anything of myself so i thought hey who do i have to impress, i slowly got stuck in a rut and the weight crept up on me. Even as a child i was brought up on big portions, we never really ate takeaways and always had home cooked meals but the amounts that i had was far to much, as i grew up i got into the habit of eating massive amounts, its taken 5 year to get to the size i am now. i have lost weight in the past but then fell off track and gained it all back and more. I hate looking in the mirror because of how i look.0
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Who made me over weight? All I can say it was all on me. I was the only one to pick up the food and enter it in my mouth.. Yes stress and depression and having 3 children had a little to do with me being over weight but it was all me...0
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Seriously though, I have no one else to blame but myself. I stopped working out. I stopped making healthy choices.0 -
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Seriously though, I have no one else to blame but myself. I stopped working out. I stopped making healthy choices.
^^^^^^^^^LOVE IT!0 -
I am responsible as an adult and not being lazy and learning about nutrition. But I blame my parents because they were very neglectful in my young years and were very unfair to my brothers even more so than me. They were narcissistic and had money and traveled a lot and did not have time for children or did not want to get involved in anything if we had problems which of course all kids do.
I married at 19 to an abusive man just like them (very wild) and parents were of no help,just turned their head. Felt like it was me for years and now know it was them and quit turning to food for comfort. Had a habit of turning to food when young, only way I knew to cope and bad habit took over in adult years when I was stressed and then it is definitely my responsibility to do something about it,cant control work situations and other stress stuff, I am learning to deal and not stuff my face.0 -
All those damn geniuses who progressed humanity along technologically. I'm pretty sure I wouldn't be fat if I were chasing down rabbits and nibbling berries all day while trying to stay out of the way of anything that might eat me.0
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I resent this question because it seems like someone particular should somehow be blamed, usually a parent. (Probably I am sensitive since I'm a mom, although my girl is of normal weight, thank you). Obviously, we are all responsible for allowing our body to grow when it shouldn't. As far as children...I suppose some parents feed their children irresponsibly. However, as a person who was obese from childhood in a family where I was the only one, it is very unfair to place the blame on my parents. My mom was incredibly supportive of my efforts to lose weight. I just was predisposed to it, I was anxious, I ate for company and stress relief. And all the worst options are so available.
Blame the culture, please. Blame the age of Cocoa Puffs, and popcorn with extra butter, and quadruple portion restaurant meals. I'm done with blaming someone. I'll take responsibility, but the ads and prevalent options sure increased my odds of failing at fitness.....:bigsmile:0 -
My ex husband...0
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I just quit paying attention when I was raising my kids. Also I used food as an answer to stress, frustration, boredom. I started to remind myself sort of as a mantra, When I realize I am doing this is repeat. "Food is not the answer". Sometimes it helps. Not always0
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Me. I mean yeah it's true my mom used to overfeed me a bit. But I'm the one that picked it up and ran with it and ate all those extra sweets and double portions.0
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I would've never become overweight had I refused anxiety medications. :grumble:0
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I was anemic when I was little. So a step-dad started making me clean my plate or I had to eat it cold for breakfast. Fast forward several years and I started asking for seconds.
While I don't like to waste food I've never forced my kid's to eat. I used to ask my son to take 2 more bites ; but he's super picky. At 15yrs old he's still picky and almost underweight. Our 2yr old daughter is always hollering for "nack" . I'm trying to offer her healthy options. Luckily she likes yogurt, cherry tomatoes, and fresh fruit. She even likes salads.0 -
I obviously know that ultimately I put the food in my mouth. So obviously me
But do you think that your childhood homelife and parents contribute to you being overweight as you get older? Like when you see a fat child ? Or parents who aren't educated in what and how to cook?
Or maybe partners who eat badly? Or do you just think its all your fault for eating too much?
Just curious:)
When my sisters & I left home as teenagers we were all overweight and inactive.
As an adult I have to take responsibility for my nutritional education and habits.
That said, when I have tried to impart what I have learned to my (overweight and very inactive) mother, she will always have an excuse. We have literally spent hours discussing, agreeing and writing grocery lists for her to throw them to the wind as soon as she sets foot in the store.
My parent’s home is always full of highly processed, sugary food “because your father/sisters/niece likes it”. Despite said father & sisters clearly stating on numerous occasions they would rather not have it in the house and sister stating she doesn’t want her kids to have junk food.
The thing I find staggering about it all is that she has been a nurse for decades so you would think she knows better than anyone the health implications of being overweight & inactive.
I did sign her up to MFP only a month ago – it was……enlightening. Especially when it came to the logging. She was guessing at amounts and adding single servings to her log – so I had her prepare food how she usually would then weigh it to get a true reading.
When I showed her the ‘calories burned’ through exercise part of the log she also lied to herself – she logged sitting on a swiss ball for 30 mins (while eating quiche & drinking wine) as exercise! She logged babysitting a 4 year old who was watching tv as ‘walking carrying an infant’ for 2 hours.
I believe she stuck with it for a week and then abandoned it – claiming that she was ‘too busy’.
She is always telling me I am too thin (I'm really not, I am in the healthy weight range) and my sisters and I have had to ask her to stop bringing food over when she visits (it is not as if it is home baking, it was bags of chips, biscuits, cakes and bottles of wine).
She is a great mother in a lot of ways and taught me some great things, but some of her blind spots and issues with food are staggering. As is the extent she will make excuse and lie to herself. Those are traits I don't want to inherit.
I don't blame her for me being overweight as a teenager, she just didn't seem to know any better.0 -
My mom for sure. I remember hitting 200 pounds at 12. No one else to blame at that age other than the parents. She knew nothing about eating healthy and we constantly consumed crap. As an adult I've learns a lot and have spent years trying to get to a normal weight, yet I'm still 50 pounds more than I want to be even though I'm desperately trying.0
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I think its a bad idea to start doing the "blame game" and deny personal responsibility.I obviously know that ultimately I put the food in my mouth. So obviously me
But do you think that your childhood homelife and parents contribute to you being overweight as you get older? Like when you see a fat child ? Or parents who aren't educated in what and how to cook?
Or maybe partners who eat badly? Or do you just think its all your fault for eating too much?
Just curious:)
I think its a bad idea to not read what I wrote in the first place.0 -
I've been obese since childhood, however, I am the one responsible for my current weight.
- My mom worked most of the time when I was a young kid, so we had take-out or fast food quite often and I developed a taste for it.
- I learned the unhealthy example of going to food to soothe myself, and boy did I need A LOT of soothing as a teenager! :laugh:
HOWEVER, since becoming an adult, I've gradually learned healthier ways to eat and cope. NOW, I need to stay on the wagon.
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Bad habits as a kid. My mum loves me to death but I do believe some choices that she made have affected me. I was always eating cheap freezer meals, or tinned meats (can't think of anything worse now). Never liked healthy food, but managed to stay fairly slim. Met my partner, ate like crazy, formed even worse habits and now I'm 5st overweight, but I WILL get it off!
In comparison, my sister has had kids who she is bringing up as vegan. Their diets are utterly flawless, you can't even force them to eat sweets or processed foods, they just hate the taste & texture because they're not used to it, and they've never been ill. It's going to be pretty hard for them to grow up and develop bad eating habits when they've had such a good start at life.0 -
As a kid, the blame fell on my dad, but it's not blame to me, exactly, I just don't have another word for it. My mom died from anorexia/bulimia when I was a year old and as a result I think that really scared him and he openly admits that he fed me all the time, way too much from a very young age. I'm 28 now though and my weight has been 100% on me since I was a teenager.0
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I blame my father he kept forcing me to have dinner with him again and again
And eat with him all the day
I was very thin and healthy but whatever0 -
Me
I come from a slim, healthy family. I was slim, healthy, athletic as a child and teen. I have some kind of body dysmorphia where I still see a healthy looking body when I look in the mirror Basically I was overly confident and then became lazy and self-indulgent. My sister once said a bad experience I had with a stranger at a party was the cusp of my weight-gain but I think that's looking for excuses for me.
So it was me and my lazy-*kitten* ways0 -
My sister was anorexic, was in hospital for a good period of time when I was little. My parents (consciously or subconsciously, I don't know) kind of overcompensated with me, always encouraged when I would eat.
But, that was then, and I'm still fat now despite living on my own for quite a while. So in the end, it was me.0 -
I could honestly write a book about things that happened to me when I was a child. I choose not to be a victim. I made me fat. I am the only one who can make myself not fat. Every time I feel the need to binge eat I tell myself I'm not letting someone who did something terrible to me in my past win.0
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I blame myself currently for not making healthy eating and exercising always a priority. However I know I gave a tough road ahead because both of my parents are overweight and I have definitely inherited those genes. My husband and I eat very similarly and he manages a healthy weight....I just know it is something I will always have to work at.0
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