The Perfect Woman

donthesitate

She's the hottest, nicest woman, is intelligent, can cook and has a great sexual appetite with which she pleases her man daily. She's a perfect 10. And she's only in your mind.

All women should start requiring all men to have six packs and full heads of hair. They should have perfect teeth and facial features. Oh and a high paying job! Like I've heard so many guys say: "I'm holding out for the prettiest girl. I may be in a relationship with a pretty girl, but what if better comes along?"

In response to societies excellent conditioning of the male mind and great portrayal of beauty, women should higher their standards to match the demands of the men; as well put by a fellow women in this ordeal:

"If my husband wouldn't have lost so much of his hair and let the rest go grey, I may not have started looking at younger men with full heads of hair AND began cheating on him.

And the erectile dysfunction that has come along with his age is just not appealing to me as I prefer the younger ones who have everything in working order. BTW, an implant wouldn't hurt since most men are in inadequate size compared to what we women REALLY want.

I won't even go into that keg that hangs over his waistband that was once a 6-pack.

Take note men: if you want to keep us younger skinnier women happy and at home, you need to stay young, keep your hair, and prevent your body from doing what comes naturally as you age.

It may be unrealistic and unfair, but we women are visual creatures and I am just telling it like it is.

Don't you just hate when men let themselves go like that?? He ain't what he used to be for sure!"

This woman knows how it is! We women would never compromise on a mans looks for a great personality! Why should we when they expect unnatural perfection!? I know my man will never be happy with me unless I conform with societies ideals, but if I have to go to the gym everyday why shouldn't he?!

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I hope this ironic satire made your day
Source:
http://www.examiner.com/article/model-fired-yes-men-prefer-thin-women

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salembambi

not many men live up to my standard of beauty

preaaacchh

ItsMeGee3

LOL - Ohhhhh so true!

Strokingdiction

This did not make my day.

My day is made with equal parts filtered sunshine, unicorn sneezes and baby crocodile tears. Stir thoroughly, add a dash of hopeful exuberance and a pinch of realism. Let simmer over low heat while slowly adding creamered coffee.

I only accept romantic/sexual partners that represent an ideal. My ideal which consists of one simple concept: Do they have a desire to sometimes please me in roughly the same quantities as I have a desire to sometimes please them? If yes, then we generally get along. If it's lopsided in either direction, then we generally don't.

I generally like satire but this one just screamed anger rather than humor.

donthesitate

Then you obviously dont get the humor

Strokingdiction

Then you obviously dont get the humor

Ah yes, not liking something is tantamount to not "getting" it. Thanks for reminding me of that. After all, it's not possible that what one person finds humerus might not be what the next person finds humerus. *winky face x 10

donthesitate

Then you obviously dont get the humor

Ah yes, not liking something is tantamount to not "getting" it. Thanks for reminding me of that. After all, it's not possible that what one person finds humerus might not be what the next person finds humerus. *winky face x 10

Now youre the one who is angry haha, its ok i respect your opinion

firstsip

Then you obviously dont get the humor

Ah yes, not liking something is tantamount to not "getting" it. Thanks for reminding me of that. After all, it's not possible that what one person finds humerus might not be what the next person finds humerus. *winky face x 10

Others might find it ulna!

neandermagnon

Then you obviously dont get the humor

Ah yes, not liking something is tantamount to not "getting" it. Thanks for reminding me of that. After all, it's not possible that what one person finds humerus might not be what the next person finds humerus. *winky face x 10

JustinAnimal

Then you obviously dont get the humor

Ah yes, not liking something is tantamount to not "getting" it. Thanks for reminding me of that. After all, it's not possible that what one person finds humerus might not be what the next person finds humerus. *winky face x 10

Others might find it ulna!

BWAHAHA! If you don't find it humerus or tibia, do you find yourself in Ilium?

neandermagnon

Then you obviously dont get the humor

Ah yes, not liking something is tantamount to not "getting" it. Thanks for reminding me of that. After all, it's not possible that what one person finds humerus might not be what the next person finds humerus. *winky face x 10

Others might find it ulna!

dang! you beat me :sad:

firstsip

Then you obviously dont get the humor

Ah yes, not liking something is tantamount to not "getting" it. Thanks for reminding me of that. After all, it's not possible that what one person finds humerus might not be what the next person finds humerus. *winky face x 10

Others might find it ulna!

dang! you beat me :sad:

I guess lunate.

Er... "you were late."

neandermagnon

Then you obviously dont get the humor

Ah yes, not liking something is tantamount to not "getting" it. Thanks for reminding me of that. After all, it's not possible that what one person finds humerus might not be what the next person finds humerus. *winky face x 10

Others might find it ulna!

BWAHAHA! If you don't find it humerus or tibia, do you find yourself in Ilium?

I find myself digging myself deeper and deeper into a foramen magnum

JustinAnimal

Then you obviously dont get the humor

Ah yes, not liking something is tantamount to not "getting" it. Thanks for reminding me of that. After all, it's not possible that what one person finds humerus might not be what the next person finds humerus. *winky face x 10

Others might find it ulna!

dang! you beat me :sad:

Yeah, I love the you don't agree = you're an idiot who doesn't get it style logic. But no one gets my stupid sense of humor, so what does that make all of you!

On a serious note (because the last thing I typed was, indeed, a joke and meant to offend no one), I already have the perfect woman: she wanted to marry me, loves beer, does squats runs and hikes with me, has a terrific sense of humor, and is sexy as hell / perfect for me. WIN!

neandermagnon

nvm

donthesitate

Then you obviously dont get the humor

Ah yes, not liking something is tantamount to not "getting" it. Thanks for reminding me of that. After all, it's not possible that what one person finds humerus might not be what the next person finds humerus. *winky face x 10

Others might find it ulna!

dang! you beat me :sad:

Yeah, I love the you don't agree = you're an idiot who doesn't get it style logic. But no one gets my stupid sense of humor, so what does that make all of you!

On a serious note (because the last thing I typed was, indeed, a joke and meant to offend no one), I already have the perfect woman: she wanted to marry me, loves beer, does squats runs and hikes with me, has a terrific sense of humor, and is sexy as hell / perfect for me. WIN!

I am glad you have found happiness with a mere mortal

Strokingdiction

Then you obviously dont get the humor

Ah yes, not liking something is tantamount to not "getting" it. Thanks for reminding me of that. After all, it's not possible that what one person finds humerus might not be what the next person finds humerus. *winky face x 10

Others might find it ulna!

Now THAT was funny!

(and now I feel rather silly)

Derp_Diggler

Then you obviously dont get the humor

I guess I don't get it either, because I found it trite and overdone.

Look, we all know someone who may fit the description of the man the article is trying to mimic. But I'd say in this day and age that man is in a huge minority. Most men I know certainly don't expect perfection in a woman.

pawnstarNate

The Perfect Woman......

edit: oops...see below :happy:

pawnstarNate

The Perfect Woman......

donthesitate

Then you obviously dont get the humor

I guess I don't get it either, because I found it trite and overdone.

Look, we all know someone who may fit the description of the man the article is trying to mimic. But I'd say in this day and age that man is in a huge minority. Most men I know certainly don't expect perfection in a woman.

Where do you live? Im moving there!

rml_16

You know, I have never met a man in the real world who thinks this way.

I mean, I see them on Dr. Phil and stuff and I'm sure they're out there, but the idea that the majority of men epect perfection and have unrealistic expectations is absurd.

I generally like satire but this one just screamed anger rather than humor.

Yep.

neandermagnon

The Perfect Woman......

Am I a male chauvinist pig, because I'd love a man who said that ^^^^^

plus a nice cup of tea to go with the sandwich

neandermagnon

You know, I have never met a man in the real world who thinks this way.

I haven't either. In my experience it's women who put all these extremely high expectations on ourselves and on each other.

donthesitate

I hope everyone understands that i dont really think this way. Its poking fun if ya cant take the heat then get the **** out the kitchen seriously, because thats my domain where all the sandwich making goes on...

dmpizza

I am always surprised by how one sided many people allow their relationships to become.

rml_16

You know, I have never met a man in the real world who thinks this way.

I haven't either. In my experience it's women who put all these extremely high expectations on ourselves and on each other.

Yep.

No woman dresses up for men. We do it to impress other women. Men (for the most part, with a few exceptions) don't know the difference between a Versace and a plastic bag.

Otterluv

You know, I have never met a man in the real world who thinks this way.

I haven't either. In my experience it's women who put all these extremely high expectations on ourselves and on each other.

Yep.

No woman dresses up for men. We do it to impress other women. Men (for the most part, with a few exceptions) don't know the difference between a Versace and a plastic bag.

Or perhaps just because they like clothes and stuff and not to impress anyone at all?

ElliottTN

.....but I think I would look more sophisticated with grey hair when it happens.

donthesitate

.....but I think I would look more sophisticated with grey hair when it happens.

You are perfect elliot ❤️