In denial, need brutal honesty

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  • DopeItUp
    DopeItUp Posts: 18,771 Member
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    Meh, you'll be dead before long at this rate, so why should anyone bother?
  • MrGonzo05
    MrGonzo05 Posts: 1,120 Member
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    Opinions of strangers on the Internet are not going to motivate you to change your lifestyle. It's hard. REALLY, really hard. And damn inconvenient. It must come from within. I doubt you are ready.
  • branbuds
    branbuds Posts: 624 Member
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    I'm a no BS type of guy. Feel free to friend me.


    If you want to hear what you need to hear, and not what you want to hear, check out a book called "The Pleasure Trap" by Dr. Alan Goldhamer and Dr. Doug Lisle. That was my favorite book so far in my quest for better health.

    Also:
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nxf4kj8Rb6Y
    This is Douglas Lisle presenting some of his findings. The lecture is at a vegetarian conference, but the lecture is not about becoming a vegetarian, but rather about how we are trapped into eating poorly because of the pleasure we get from it. He states that it takes 2-3 weeks to get used to eating healthy. I think that is an important point to understand. We get used to eating crap, we like it, and we can't imagine living without it. But push yourself, stick with it, and we DO get used to it! And there are a lot of people on mfp that eat healthy, but still include their favourite things, just in smaller portions.

    You can do this!
  • plateaued
    plateaued Posts: 199 Member
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    Here's the brutal honesty: YOU ARENT READY.

    Exactly. Stop asking us to do your work.
  • Cathalain
    Cathalain Posts: 424 Member
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    One more thing, as well, OP....

    Consider the example that you're now setting for your children. They're watching everything you say, do, believe. They'll pick up your habits.

    I might be dating myself here but I remember that old anti-drug commercial in the 80's - "You, Dad! I learned it by watching you!"

    Well, that's exactly what's going to happen 10, 15, 20 years from now. If you don't care, fine... but do you want your children to do and feel the same way you are right now? What kind of lives do you want for them?

    Think about that. I sent you a private message. I hope you read it, and absorb it.

    Good luck.
  • RiverCameron
    RiverCameron Posts: 56 Member
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    Are you sure you want honesty?

    You have a REALLY nice life. You have two children and enough money to not only gorge yourself on a regular basis, but to pay for a personal trainer 4 times a week. You won't have any more or be any better until you learn to appreciate what you have.
  • errorist
    errorist Posts: 142 Member
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    All of this "tough love" is making me feel a little ill. Enough of the medical considerations. How about how it feels, being overweight vs being a healthy weight? Please excuse the generalisations, but this does represent my experience at least...

    Being overweight is extremely uncomfortable. In hot weather, fat legs chafe and odd rashes ensue. Walking up slight inclines with fitter people is often an embarrassingly wheezy experience. Overweight people seem to continuously pre-occupy themselves with adjusting their clothing as they move around, even though they *know* it is going to make absolutely no difference to how they are perceived. Overweight people think that people can only like them *despite* the way they look. They are "bubbly". This just means that people cannot believe that they could be that fat and that happy.... they're probably right.

    Being a healthy weight is comfortable. In hot weather, clothes become more interesting to wear, not more upsetting. You can become the person that inspires your friends to want to develop their fitness. You don't need to worry about who's looking at which parts of your body - indeed you might want them to look. People are actually more inclined to talk to you if you look nicer (my experience anyway). And then, how interesting, to be able to confound these people by being perhaps a little different to the person they were expecting, your personal characteristics having developed in a completely different body and context. You can become the person you were, but a thin, confident version thereof.

    Yes, your physical health will improve. Beyond that though, it's worth the work for the psychological space that losing weight frees up. You can focus on more important things in life.
  • TavistockToad
    TavistockToad Posts: 35,719 Member
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    Shame the OP never came back....
  • sloth3toes
    sloth3toes Posts: 2,212 Member
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    4 pages of this and the OP is missing? I hope she is reading this.

    I was wondering the same thing. Maybe she is reading. Maybe she is just busy. Maybe she finally had the heart attack?
  • SingingSingleTracker
    SingingSingleTracker Posts: 1,866 Member
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    4 pages of this and the OP is missing? I hope she is reading this.

    I was wondering the same thing. Maybe she is reading. Maybe she is just busy.

    Well, it was her first post on this website and it was early in the morning/late at night (12:24 AM today)....
  • Bookworm8290
    Bookworm8290 Posts: 2 Member
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    Hi everyone, I'm the OP and I'm back. I'm in Australia and its early morning here so I've been asleep while all of you have been responding to me.
    Firstly, WOW! I am overwhelmed...by the number of responses, by how supportive the MFP community is, by the honesty of some of the responses and the willingness of others to share their stories, by everything and everyone. I am overwhelmed that so many of you care enough to have taken precious time out of your life to help me, a stranger across the other side of the world.
    Simply seeing my original post has been a real eye opener for me. I realise that I am in a really bad place mentally and emotionally. I am still trying to digest everything I have read here. It is a lot to take in.
    I have taken a step forward and as soon as I woke up this morning I confided in my husband. We have been having relationship problems for some time but today I let my guard down and told him everything. He had no idea how unhappy I was, how much I weighed, how much I have to lose etc. We realised that we both need to learn more about diabetes. It turns out that he is also unhappy and would like to lose a good 10kg (22lbs) and that we are going to do this together and he will support me.
    So I would like to say...
    Hi everyone, I am Bookworm8290 and I am a diabetic. This is the start of great improvements for me and I am so glad that I have found the MFP community.
  • workoutguru119
    workoutguru119 Posts: 2
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    Looks like its time to do this! It is a fun journey… do not get discouraged and give up because it is taking too much time…. the time will pass weather you are eating healthy and trying to loose weight or not. Think about where you will be in a year from now. It could be a completely different life. It is all up to you. Do what you want with your future… eat for your future self, not your current one.
  • SingingSingleTracker
    SingingSingleTracker Posts: 1,866 Member
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    Hi everyone, I'm the OP and I'm back. I'm in Australia and its early morning here so I've been asleep while all of you have been responding to me.
    Firstly, WOW! I am overwhelmed...by the number of responses, by how supportive the MFP community is, by the honesty of some of the responses and the willingness of others to share their stories, by everything and everyone. I am overwhelmed that so many of you care enough to have taken precious time out of your life to help me, a stranger across the other side of the world.
    Simply seeing my original post has been a real eye opener for me. I realise that I am in a really bad place mentally and emotionally. I am still trying to digest everything I have read here. It is a lot to take in.
    I have taken a step forward and as soon as I woke up this morning I confided in my husband. We have been having relationship problems for some time but today I let my guard down and told him everything. He had no idea how unhappy I was, how much I weighed, how much I have to lose etc. We realised that we both need to learn more about diabetes. It turns out that he is also unhappy and would like to lose a good 10kg (22lbs) and that we are going to do this together and he will support me.
    So I would like to say...
    Hi everyone, I am Bookworm8290 and I am a diabetic. This is the start of great improvements for me and I am so glad that I have found the MFP community.

    Welcome Bookwarm!

    We the "choir" certainly are willing to opine and help if we can. Just like others have done for us in the past. I personally wish all the best to you and your husband as you begin this new journey. You can really make it fun as a couple. The results are fun to track and see, and the you will feel so much better physically.
  • missiontofitness
    missiontofitness Posts: 4,074 Member
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    Hi everyone, I'm the OP and I'm back. I'm in Australia and its early morning here so I've been asleep while all of you have been responding to me.
    Firstly, WOW! I am overwhelmed...by the number of responses, by how supportive the MFP community is, by the honesty of some of the responses and the willingness of others to share their stories, by everything and everyone. I am overwhelmed that so many of you care enough to have taken precious time out of your life to help me, a stranger across the other side of the world.
    Simply seeing my original post has been a real eye opener for me. I realise that I am in a really bad place mentally and emotionally. I am still trying to digest everything I have read here. It is a lot to take in.
    I have taken a step forward and as soon as I woke up this morning I confided in my husband. We have been having relationship problems for some time but today I let my guard down and told him everything. He had no idea how unhappy I was, how much I weighed, how much I have to lose etc. We realised that we both need to learn more about diabetes. It turns out that he is also unhappy and would like to lose a good 10kg (22lbs) and that we are going to do this together and he will support me.
    So I would like to say...
    Hi everyone, I am Bookworm8290 and I am a diabetic. This is the start of great improvements for me and I am so glad that I have found the MFP community.

    I think it's great that you opened yourself up to some tough love. And I think it's even better you've opened up to your husband about your concerns. Having his support will be so helpful for you during this journey.

    I'm glad you're taking some responsibility, and I hope you're able to stay motivated and reach your goals. You have a husband and children who want you around for a long time!
  • LassoOfTruth
    LassoOfTruth Posts: 735 Member
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    Your doctor told you that you have Diabetes and you still don't care. What makes you think we are going to say anything to motivate you?
  • shelbih1ckey1990
    shelbih1ckey1990 Posts: 1 Member
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    Think about your kids. What kind of example are you setting? A very bad one. As a mother you should be a role model for your kids- not setting them up for failure. Not only that but your health and life deteriorating isn't only affecting you. Your kids will have to watch you slowly die.
  • grandmothercharlie
    grandmothercharlie Posts: 1,361 Member
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    You are not in denial or you wouldn't have admitted you have the problems you have. If you are in denial, everything would be fine! You just don't want to put in the hard work. And it is hard. You obviously know what you need to do, now do it!
  • enasab111
    enasab111 Posts: 7
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    I am in denial about my health and have tried lots of things to really knock it in to me how bad things are but it's just not registering. All the people in my life don't know what is going on with me and I don't want to turn to them.
    I need to hit ROCK BOTTOM. I would like some brutal honesty please to wake me up and see what I have done to myself.

    I am 32 years old, 5'8 and weigh 100kg (220lbs). I have been told that I have Type 2 diabetes by my doctor but I don't care. I have had gestational diabetes with my 2 pregnancies so I know what diabetes is all about and I refuse to accept that I have Type 2 now. I had my gall bladder removed at 26 years old because I had obviously eaten so much crap in those years (it does also run in my family though). A couple of years ago I saw a personal trainer twice a week and increased my fitness levels but couldn't get the food under control and never ended up losing weight during that time. I have now been seeing another better trainer for the last 7 months, starting at 2 times per week and for the last 3 months, 4 times a week. Again, improved fitness and muscles. Over that time I lost 5 kg but have put most of it back on, again because I cant get the eating right.

    I want to lose weight for a variety of reasons including overall health, self esteem, easier to play with my kids etc. I also cant stop shoving food in my mouth and 4 intense workouts a week isn't enough to make the weight disappear whilst doing this.
    I am destroying myself and I want to change but I am in denial. Could someone please say to me what I need to hear instead of what I want to hear. I don't respond to motivational quotes but I do respond to brutal honesty, truth, the no bull**** approach, tell me like it is etc. Please don't spare my feelings. I need to hear this. Please. I don't have anyone else I can turn to.

    you know you have your problem, but you need to break down your problem into manageable goals so you can be successful. I think you need to be checked for endocrine issues (PCOS can make a person crave carbs uncontrollably) and get your psychological issues treated. It sounds like you can have an eating disorder OR you are just so down on yourself you will never take care of your problems. I hope you get it together because if you can't love yourself now...even if you can lose 100 pounds tomorrow you won't be happy.
  • Beet_Girl
    Beet_Girl Posts: 102
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    Log log log it ALL!! Even if you eat a ton of crap! Just writing it down will likely reduce your intake, even if you're not trying to diet. Knowledge is power!
  • Booksandbeaches
    Booksandbeaches Posts: 1,791 Member
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    I think you've received great advice. I'll just say this. Even if you choose to not log food a particular day, come here and read a few threads in the General Forum. Just get in the habit of reading about health, fitness and food. Just take that first baby step.

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