Husband Is Mad I Am Fat
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jasminemars01
Posts: 27
Ok, I had a fight with my husband tonight. The jist of it is he is sick of having a fat wife that doesn't take care of herself. I think he is exaggerating a little bit. I was supermodel thin and attractive when he met me 15 years ago. I have had a pretty rough time the past several years, working two jobs and taking care of two kids. I have zero time to myself. He says it is just an excuse and I could make time. When? Quit one of my jobs? Not feed our kids? My husband works away from home and is gone five nights a week, so he is no help. He gives me no credit for what I do to keep the house hold running, and makes me feel bad on top of it that I am not maintaining a svelte figure and keeping my nails done. WT heck. I am so ripping mad I could scream. He happened to be home tonight, and watched sports all night while I did our taxes. And then he has the nerve to complain we are all slobs and don't take care of the house when he is gone (not true).
I want to lose weight and take better care of myself, but now I don't want him to think I am doing it to appease him. I have this rebellious streak in me now. He says I won't lose weight because it is just too hard ... and I am not capable of hard work. So now I don't feel like making any effort at all.
I am so beside myself I can't sleep tonight. Of course, he is snoring away upstairs.
I want to lose weight and take better care of myself, but now I don't want him to think I am doing it to appease him. I have this rebellious streak in me now. He says I won't lose weight because it is just too hard ... and I am not capable of hard work. So now I don't feel like making any effort at all.
I am so beside myself I can't sleep tonight. Of course, he is snoring away upstairs.
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Replies
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Yeah.... That sounds like you guys need counseling as a whole.
Instead of being mad at you, if he cares, he should be there to help you...0 -
I would be re-evaluating the relationship if that was happening in my house!0
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you work two jobs and take care of two kids and the house? And he thinks you aren't capable of hard work?
Counseling is definitely needed.
Or a new husband who stays home and helps out.0 -
Hi Jasmine,
Take a deep breath. When wanting to lose weight don't ever do it to appease someone like you said before. I can imagine how hard it is doing all you do, and you sound like a wonderful mother. Keep it up. Your husband will come to terms with it eventually. If you do want to lose weight do it for yourself not because someone else is breathing down your neck. Remember to try your best to be healthy as always. Don't put more pressure on yourself.
All the best
I hope everything works out. 0 -
I would be re-evaluating the relationship if that was happening in my house!
Agreed, if he doesn't appreciate you encourage him to work out with you and eat well with you. I would also suggest counseling and if that doesn't work maybe consider other options.0 -
He sounds like a total loser. Of course I don't know him, or you and am merely assuming off of what you said. Girl, screw him. If you want to lose weight who cares what he thinks. Do it for YOU. Have pride in yourself, and forget the rest. If a man ever talked to me like that he wouldn't be my man long. He also might not live long. Just saying.0
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No one has the right to speak to you like that. If you are going to lose it, it has to be for you. He sounds like an angry man that is putting you down to make himself feel better as most bullies do. You basically function as a single mother. Counseling together can be helpful but I suggest you go for yourself first.0
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Ok I'm going to just come out and say it.
WHY are you with someone who obviously doesn't respect you? What a jerk. I would not be putting up with that nonsense. I suggest you set him straight and don't continue to allow him to treat you this way. This has nothing to do with you losing weight or what he thinks of your weight. It's all about how you're allowing him to treat you. I sincerely hope everything works out for you.0 -
Ok I'm going to just come out and say it.
WHY are you with someone who obviously doesn't respect you? What a jerk. I would not be putting up with that nonsense. I suggest you set him straight and don't continue to allow him to treat you this way. This has nothing to do with you losing weight or what he thinks of your weight. It's all about how you're allowing him to treat you. I sincerely hope everything works out for you.
Keep in mind you arent getting an unbiased option. Everyone paints themselves in a good light when trying to get people to side with them in a disagreement.0 -
You can lose weight just by eating at a calorie deficit. Doesn't really take that much time to figure out. So it is possible to lose weight with your crazy schedule.0
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I don't mean to be rude, and I know sometimes you just have to vent, but why not talk to him about it instead of posting about it on here? Ask for his assistance and support rather than judgment?
Of course some men just don't listen no matter what you say... :indifferent:0 -
That sounds terrible to deal with. As a father and husband I would not expect anything positive back if I treated my wife that way. In fact taking care of the home and kids without two jobs is a task I'm sure. Hopefully you find some resolution even if it means difficult decisions ahead.0
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Ok I'm going to just come out and say it.
WHY are you with someone who obviously doesn't respect you? What a jerk. I would not be putting up with that nonsense. I suggest you set him straight and don't continue to allow him to treat you this way. This has nothing to do with you losing weight or what he thinks of your weight. It's all about how you're allowing him to treat you. I sincerely hope everything works out for you.
Keep in mind you arent getting an unbiased option. Everyone paints themselves in a good light when trying to get people to side with them in a disagreement.
Absolutely. But we have no other information to go off of. If she is being completely truthful, then I stand by my previous statement. If not, well, whatever. Either way she needs to figure her *kitten* out.0 -
Ok I'm going to just come out and say it.
WHY are you with someone who obviously doesn't respect you? What a jerk. I would not be putting up with that nonsense. I suggest you set him straight and don't continue to allow him to treat you this way. This has nothing to do with you losing weight or what he thinks of your weight. It's all about how you're allowing him to treat you. I sincerely hope everything works out for you.
Keep in mind you arent getting an unbiased option. Everyone paints themselves in a good light when trying to get people to side with them in a disagreement.
Agree. This is why I didn't comment on the husband's alleged behavior. The main focus of the OP's question should be how can she lose weight with her crazy schedule.0 -
Counseling is a good idea to help you work things out. It sounds like he is tired and stressed just like you are, but he is not handling it in the best way. It sounds like he's taking it out on you. Yes, it's sad to have a spouse put on weight (both men and women), but he is supposed to be supportive. Why not exercise together as a family so it is about everyone getting healthy and not "I'm so mad my wife got fat?"
I would work out but for myself and not for him. You'll have more energy and better health in general, especially as you get older it'll be good to have better health and good habits. I would ignore what he thinks as far as if he assumes you worked out to appease him. You know you did it for yourself and that's what matters (and if he comments you can tell him that, tell him how much better you feel, how much more energy you have, etc.). And if it makes your husband happy that should be a bonus.
As for kids, I think it depends on their ages as to what you can do to work out. Go for walks after dinner (the days are getting longer so this will be easier now that it's not dark by the time most people get home from work. Turn on some music and start dancing (all ages can get involved in that). Do everyday activities standing instead of sitting to burn a few extra Calories. Keep moving and cut out soda, salty snacks, sugary snacks and the weight will come off.0 -
:huh: Don't give up on your health just to spite your husband, that's ridiculous. If you want to stay together, just talk to him. If you can't "just talk to him" then WTF get a divorce.0
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Its obvious you can't please him, so....please yourself. By that I mean, what do you want? Do that.0
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Screw everyone and live life for yourself.
I need to finally do what I want for myself and my life.
Ring any bells?0 -
you can lose the weight with a calorie deficit even with no time to do extra working out don't let anyone's opinion on what your doing affect how you get to this goal if its what YOU want as far as your relationship with your husband some couple councelling is all I can suggest0
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