Husband Is Mad I Am Fat
Replies
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I'd love to hear the other side of this story.
This.
And I especially enjoyed the replies that suggested a man doesn't deserve a wife who stays in shape unless he makes enough money that she can stay home and work out and have plastic surgery. You people are nuts.
This...I mean really...lots of people have kids, jobs, housework etc and a husband who works and is away a lot...but they manage...
I personally was a single mom for 14 years, worked 50 hours a week, kept my house clean, gardens tended, flowers planted, had a great social life etc and managed it all and lose weight...(put it back on after I got married)
And if we were to hear his side of the story I suspect it would go something along the lines of...
"she is always complaining she is over weight and fat but wont do anything about it and I am sick of hearing about it...if you don't want to be fat stop eating, start movng more etc".0 -
That sounds terrible to deal with. As a father and husband I would not expect anything positive back if I treated my wife that way.
Thank you for saying that! Clearly your husband lacks the emotional maturity to express himself properly. It is no wonder you are discouraged and feel rebellious. Take a deep breath, look at yourself in the mirror and tell yourself that you are worth the effort. (Sounds cheesy, I know) Do that every single morning before you leave the house. You may be surprised at how your life changes.
P.S. I hope your children are not witnessing these arguments because it would be a shame for them to see the sad and sorry example your husband is setting.0 -
Well first off, you were obviously a teenager when you met and then life happened ie kids, job, school, stress etc. In my personal opinion I would lose weight despite him. Sounds like you have your stereo-typical MAN-CHILD. Sounds like maybe both of you need to get some perspective. My husband and I have been together for 10 years and we took a break for a little while after we were having some issues. We didn't sleep with anyone else but just gave each other some space. The time we took to ourselves made us both realize how much we love each other and miss each other when the other is gone. Turns out, it was what turned our marriage around. Sometimes the bad times are the best time for learning. If my husband and I didn't take that much-needed break, I KNOW we wouldn't be together right now. You have to do what is right for you and your life. What worked for me may not work for you. Good luck either way luv! :flowerforyou:0
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Ok I'm going to just come out and say it.
WHY are you with someone who obviously doesn't respect you? What a jerk. I would not be putting up with that nonsense. I suggest you set him straight and don't continue to allow him to treat you this way. This has nothing to do with you losing weight or what he thinks of your weight. It's all about how you're allowing him to treat you. I sincerely hope everything works out for you.
Keep in mind you arent getting an unbiased option. Everyone paints themselves in a good light when trying to get people to side with them in a disagreement.
Agreed. We are only hearing one side of the story. There are things that he sees that is making him feel the way he does.
I am also so shocked to read and see how many people will just walk away from a marriage so easily.
Sometimes the truth hurts. Plain and simple.0 -
I'd love to hear the other side of this story.
This.
And I especially enjoyed the replies that suggested a man doesn't deserve a wife who stays in shape unless he makes enough money that she can stay home and work out and have plastic surgery. You people are nuts.
This...I mean really...lots of people have kids, jobs, housework etc and a husband who works and is away a lot...but they manage...
I personally was a single mom for 14 years, worked 50 hours a week, kept my house clean, gardens tended, flowers planted, had a great social life etc and managed it all and lose weight...(put it back on after I got married)
And if we were to hear his side of the story I suspect it would go something along the lines of...
"she is always complaining she is over weight and fat but wont do anything about it and I am sick of hearing about it...if you don't want to be fat stop eating, start movng more etc".
Yes, time management is key here when your busy. Sounds like you managed the time you had very well during those times.0 -
I'd go on strike.
when the husband starts ranting, I'd continue to sit there and say "mhmm.. whatever." and then go back to what i was doing.0 -
I would like to hear both sides of this story before I say oh he is such a bad person like a bunch of people on here. I'm sorry, but physical attraction is big in a marriage as well as all the other things. Doesn't matter how long you have been with someone. You should always want to feel attractive. You would expect the same from them. I don't ever want my wife to feel like I've gotten fat, so I work hard to be the man she married and not a shell of him. She does the same in return. Kids, jobs, all come after that.0
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Sorry to hear you're going through all that. I understand the part of not being able to find time for yourself. I am a stay at home mom and cannot find time to work out, so I can imagine how much harder it is to find time when you're working and being two parents five days a week. The stress alone will not help you with weight loss!
I haven't been working out, but I managed to lose 22 pounds in three months just by counting calories, so if you can do that, you should be able to see some progress. Try calculating TDEE minus 20% to get the calories you need for weight loss (or less than 20% if you want to lose weight slower). I do not log my foods, and I never count the calories in non-starchy vegetables. I drink water, coffee and whole milk. Lol, and there are plenty of times when I do go over the amount of calories with either pizza or ice cream, but I don't sweat it too much, I just try to do better the next day. I eat everything, I don't have a list of bad foods, but I do try to limit desserts (my weakness) and I drink coffee without sugar (I don't like artificial sweeteners). I am not saying that these are the things that will work for you, but maybe you can find a tip or two that will help you with weight loss? Different things work for different people, and I'm sure other people will let you know what worked for them as well, so out of all that you can maybe find what could work for you.
And as far as your husband is concerned, it is sad that after two kids his priority when he is home is your weight. I've had men and women 'commenting' about my fat *kitten*, too. But at the end of the day it's your (or my) fat *kitten* and if you'd like to lose the weight, make sure you do it for you and for your children, not for your husband. And if he still feels like he needs to fix something, then he should start with himself. I don't know the guy, but nobody's perfect, especially the people that have a constant need to put other people down just so they can feel better about themselves.
I wish you good luck! Try to de-stress, and take care of yourself and your children. You will lose the weight, eventually, but do it for yourself :-)
I don't understand how as a stay at home mom you don't have time to work out????
I work a full time job (overtime and on call included), take 17 credit hours at College, cook, clean, take care of 3 dogs (1 being a young puppy) and still have time to work out.
Its called time management. Learn to manage your time.
And YES, women (as well as men) should keep themselves up for their mate.0 -
I'd go on strike.
when the husband starts ranting, I'd continue to sit there and say "mhmm.. whatever." and then go back to what i was doing.
That there puts you in the wrong. Two wrongs don't make a right.
No wonder the divorce rate is so dang high.0 -
Sorry to hear you're going through all that. I understand the part of not being able to find time for yourself. I am a stay at home mom and cannot find time to work out, so I can imagine how much harder it is to find time when you're working and being two parents five days a week. The stress alone will not help you with weight loss!
I haven't been working out, but I managed to lose 22 pounds in three months just by counting calories, so if you can do that, you should be able to see some progress. Try calculating TDEE minus 20% to get the calories you need for weight loss (or less than 20% if you want to lose weight slower). I do not log my foods, and I never count the calories in non-starchy vegetables. I drink water, coffee and whole milk. Lol, and there are plenty of times when I do go over the amount of calories with either pizza or ice cream, but I don't sweat it too much, I just try to do better the next day. I eat everything, I don't have a list of bad foods, but I do try to limit desserts (my weakness) and I drink coffee without sugar (I don't like artificial sweeteners). I am not saying that these are the things that will work for you, but maybe you can find a tip or two that will help you with weight loss? Different things work for different people, and I'm sure other people will let you know what worked for them as well, so out of all that you can maybe find what could work for you.
And as far as your husband is concerned, it is sad that after two kids his priority when he is home is your weight. I've had men and women 'commenting' about my fat *kitten*, too. But at the end of the day it's your (or my) fat *kitten* and if you'd like to lose the weight, make sure you do it for you and for your children, not for your husband. And if he still feels like he needs to fix something, then he should start with himself. I don't know the guy, but nobody's perfect, especially the people that have a constant need to put other people down just so they can feel better about themselves.
I wish you good luck! Try to de-stress, and take care of yourself and your children. You will lose the weight, eventually, but do it for yourself :-)
I don't understand how as a stay at home mom you don't have time to work out????
I work a full time job (overtime and on call included), take 17 credit hours at College, cook, clean, take care of 3 dogs (1 being a young puppy) and still have time to work out.
Its called time management. Learn to manage your time.
And YES, women (as well as men) should keep themselves up for their mate.
Come on, ditch the common sense and grab your pitchfork and torch!0 -
I would like to hear both sides of this story before I say oh he is such a bad person like a bunch of people on here. I'm sorry, but physical attraction is big in a marriage as well as all the other things. Doesn't matter how long you have been with someone. You should always want to feel attractive. You would expect the same from them. I don't ever want my wife to feel like I've gotten fat, so I work hard to be the man she married and not a shell of him. She does the same in return. Kids, jobs, all come after that.
Exactly.
Men are visual creatures. The OP no longer looks like she did when he married her.
The spouse in the marriage has to come FIRST, his / her needs have to come before kids, jobs, etc.
OP, put your man first in your life. You have let that fall by the wayside.0 -
Sorry to hear you're going through all that. I understand the part of not being able to find time for yourself. I am a stay at home mom and cannot find time to work out, so I can imagine how much harder it is to find time when you're working and being two parents five days a week. The stress alone will not help you with weight loss!
I haven't been working out, but I managed to lose 22 pounds in three months just by counting calories, so if you can do that, you should be able to see some progress. Try calculating TDEE minus 20% to get the calories you need for weight loss (or less than 20% if you want to lose weight slower). I do not log my foods, and I never count the calories in non-starchy vegetables. I drink water, coffee and whole milk. Lol, and there are plenty of times when I do go over the amount of calories with either pizza or ice cream, but I don't sweat it too much, I just try to do better the next day. I eat everything, I don't have a list of bad foods, but I do try to limit desserts (my weakness) and I drink coffee without sugar (I don't like artificial sweeteners). I am not saying that these are the things that will work for you, but maybe you can find a tip or two that will help you with weight loss? Different things work for different people, and I'm sure other people will let you know what worked for them as well, so out of all that you can maybe find what could work for you.
And as far as your husband is concerned, it is sad that after two kids his priority when he is home is your weight. I've had men and women 'commenting' about my fat *kitten*, too. But at the end of the day it's your (or my) fat *kitten* and if you'd like to lose the weight, make sure you do it for you and for your children, not for your husband. And if he still feels like he needs to fix something, then he should start with himself. I don't know the guy, but nobody's perfect, especially the people that have a constant need to put other people down just so they can feel better about themselves.
I wish you good luck! Try to de-stress, and take care of yourself and your children. You will lose the weight, eventually, but do it for yourself :-)
I don't understand how as a stay at home mom you don't have time to work out????
I work a full time job (overtime and on call included), take 17 credit hours at College, cook, clean, take care of 3 dogs (1 being a young puppy) and still have time to work out.
Its called time management. Learn to manage your time.
And YES, women (as well as men) should keep themselves up for their mate.
Come on, ditch the common sense and grab your pitchfork and torch!
Ha haa, I can't do that. No person is perfect and maybe there was a better way for him to tell her. But, as a married person we should be able to say what we feel to our spouse without getting all the feelings hurt.0 -
I would start to wonder what exactly he's doing on the side while he's gone those five nights a week, since he's suddenly so unhappy with his home life...0
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Hi Jasmine,
Take a deep breath. When wanting to lose weight don't ever do it to appease someone like you said before. I can imagine how hard it is doing all you do, and you sound like a wonderful mother. Keep it up. Your husband will come to terms with it eventually. If you do want to lose weight do it for yourself not because someone else is breathing down your neck. Remember to try your best to be healthy as always. Don't put more pressure on yourself.
All the best
I hope everything works out.
Well said! THIS!!0 -
So sad to read how many people think you should dump your husband and get a divorce because of him acting like a jerk. There is no need to throw him away over something so simple.
Just lose weight. Men are visual as we all know, and he fell in love with a super-model thin woman. There is no reason you can't try to maintain close to that. It truly isn't fair to men. It sounds superficial to woman, but it is important to men. I'm not saying you need to look exactly like you did, but you owe it to your marriage to look as good as you can. If you aren't putting a good effort into the way you look, the romance is going to (and seems to have already) fizzle.
I know you say you don't have time, but that is just an excuse. You may not have time to go to the gym, but you certainly have time to watch what you eat, you just don't want to.
Okay okay, you can feel rebellious if you want, go ahead, the choice is yours. You are then headed to divorce.
Or, you can simply eat less calories, get healthier, feel better, be a good role model of health for your kids, and reignite the spark between you and your husband. It's as simple as controlling your calories.
It's a breath of fresh air to see that there are women that can look at things without so much emotion and respond rationally.
Everyone else has him tied to the stake and burning in hell.
Geeeez.
Her being rebellious is going to land her in divorce court or have a cheating husband on her hands................in which she will say it was all his fault also.
SMH. Relationship failures are never 1 persons fault, it is both. She is just in denial and doesn't want to see her part in this.0 -
I would start to wonder what exactly he's doing on the side while he's gone those five nights a week, since he's suddenly so unhappy with his home life...
If he is coming to her and explaining what he is unhappy with, then I would venture to say he isn't doing anything on the side, YET. Keyword here is YET.
When the complaining and arguments stop - that is when she will have something to worry about.0 -
A question to OP.
Is your husband fit himself?0 -
Sorry to hear you're going through all that. I understand the part of not being able to find time for yourself. I am a stay at home mom and cannot find time to work out, so I can imagine how much harder it is to find time when you're working and being two parents five days a week. The stress alone will not help you with weight loss!
I haven't been working out, but I managed to lose 22 pounds in three months just by counting calories, so if you can do that, you should be able to see some progress. Try calculating TDEE minus 20% to get the calories you need for weight loss (or less than 20% if you want to lose weight slower). I do not log my foods, and I never count the calories in non-starchy vegetables. I drink water, coffee and whole milk. Lol, and there are plenty of times when I do go over the amount of calories with either pizza or ice cream, but I don't sweat it too much, I just try to do better the next day. I eat everything, I don't have a list of bad foods, but I do try to limit desserts (my weakness) and I drink coffee without sugar (I don't like artificial sweeteners). I am not saying that these are the things that will work for you, but maybe you can find a tip or two that will help you with weight loss? Different things work for different people, and I'm sure other people will let you know what worked for them as well, so out of all that you can maybe find what could work for you.
And as far as your husband is concerned, it is sad that after two kids his priority when he is home is your weight. I've had men and women 'commenting' about my fat *kitten*, too. But at the end of the day it's your (or my) fat *kitten* and if you'd like to lose the weight, make sure you do it for you and for your children, not for your husband. And if he still feels like he needs to fix something, then he should start with himself. I don't know the guy, but nobody's perfect, especially the people that have a constant need to put other people down just so they can feel better about themselves.
I wish you good luck! Try to de-stress, and take care of yourself and your children. You will lose the weight, eventually, but do it for yourself :-)
I don't understand how as a stay at home mom you don't have time to work out????
I work a full time job (overtime and on call included), take 17 credit hours at College, cook, clean, take care of 3 dogs (1 being a young puppy) and still have time to work out.
Its called time management. Learn to manage your time.
And YES, women (as well as men) should keep themselves up for their mate.
Come on, ditch the common sense and grab your pitchfork and torch!
this poor guy has probably already woken up, fixed himself breakfast, strapped on his boots, and started the job he hates so he can provide for his family, never knowing that all the while, the Women Supporting Women Union has labeled him as public enemy number 1 and has this story already logged in their standard curriculum for training daughters. Meanwhile, the covert rebel group known only as Those With Healthy Relationships, have put this lady's post, as well as many of the replies, in a pamphlet to spread amongst their members titled, What Happens When You Ask The Internet For Help...0 -
Sorry to hear you're going through all that. I understand the part of not being able to find time for yourself. I am a stay at home mom and cannot find time to work out, so I can imagine how much harder it is to find time when you're working and being two parents five days a week. The stress alone will not help you with weight loss!
I haven't been working out, but I managed to lose 22 pounds in three months just by counting calories, so if you can do that, you should be able to see some progress. Try calculating TDEE minus 20% to get the calories you need for weight loss (or less than 20% if you want to lose weight slower). I do not log my foods, and I never count the calories in non-starchy vegetables. I drink water, coffee and whole milk. Lol, and there are plenty of times when I do go over the amount of calories with either pizza or ice cream, but I don't sweat it too much, I just try to do better the next day. I eat everything, I don't have a list of bad foods, but I do try to limit desserts (my weakness) and I drink coffee without sugar (I don't like artificial sweeteners). I am not saying that these are the things that will work for you, but maybe you can find a tip or two that will help you with weight loss? Different things work for different people, and I'm sure other people will let you know what worked for them as well, so out of all that you can maybe find what could work for you.
And as far as your husband is concerned, it is sad that after two kids his priority when he is home is your weight. I've had men and women 'commenting' about my fat *kitten*, too. But at the end of the day it's your (or my) fat *kitten* and if you'd like to lose the weight, make sure you do it for you and for your children, not for your husband. And if he still feels like he needs to fix something, then he should start with himself. I don't know the guy, but nobody's perfect, especially the people that have a constant need to put other people down just so they can feel better about themselves.
I wish you good luck! Try to de-stress, and take care of yourself and your children. You will lose the weight, eventually, but do it for yourself :-)
I don't understand how as a stay at home mom you don't have time to work out????
I work a full time job (overtime and on call included), take 17 credit hours at College, cook, clean, take care of 3 dogs (1 being a young puppy) and still have time to work out.
Its called time management. Learn to manage your time.
And YES, women (as well as men) should keep themselves up for their mate.
Come on, ditch the common sense and grab your pitchfork and torch!
this poor guy has probably already woken up, fixed himself breakfast, strapped on his boots, and started the job he hates so he can provide for his family, never knowing that all the while, the Women Supporting Women Union has labeled him as public enemy number 1 and has this story already logged in their standard curriculum for training daughters. Meanwhile, the covert rebel group known only as Those With Healthy Relationships, have put this lady's post, as well as many of the replies, in a pamphlet to spread amongst their members titled, What Happens When You Ask The Internet For Help...
:laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:0 -
My husband doesn't need to tell me that I am fat, I know that I am fat. I would get very mad if he would insult me in anger. Mine hints here and there but never throws it at me in anger or to hurt me. He wouldn't have a nice life if he did...
I don't know your husband, did he change suddenly, or was he always unsatisfied with whatever it is he is telling you now?
There are a million reason why he is behaving like this. If it is a sudden change, I would be very wary is all I can say.
One more thing... If your children are 7 or older, it is time to do some chores! start with small stuff
So, your one of those women whose spouse can't tell you how he REALLY feels or you will make his life miserable?????
SMH. Women wonder why men don't want to get married. These are the reasons why.0
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