Weight loss FEARS?
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Re: loose skin - part of this is genetics, part of it's how you lose the weight and if you're active and age (the younger you start the better). You just have to hope for the best. Also, it can take up to 2 years after meeting goal for your skin to recover so you're going to have to be patient about the results.
Something to think about for those of you worried about the loose skin thing...
I've lost a little over 90 pounds over the last 4+ years and I definitely have loose skin. HOWEVER, I've pretty much come to terms with it. When I was heavy I had to hide my body so while I wish I could "flaunt" a bit more with my slimmer figure, it's just not going to be possible. So basically I went from one reason to hide certain parts to another but so be it. Plus, I still have some fat to lose so I'm hoping the skin tightens up a bit as I get closer to goal. And at 40 years old, I'm never going to be a bikini model so does it really matter in the end? Nope. I love myself for several other reasons than how my body looks naked.
My brother on the other hand was quite heavy and also lost fairly slowly but ended up with minimal loose skin. So you just never know.
To be honest, I wish "the girls" hadn't deflated so much and I'm seriously considering plastic surgery to get them back to where they should be. I'd also considered having my stomach done, but honestly, I think that's a slippery slope because I've got plenty of loose skin in my upper arms, thighs, where my back fat was, etc that I'd have to get my whole body done to look perfect and that's just too much money spent and too much of a risk. It's one thing to want nice cleavage but another thing entirely to want a whole new body IMHO.
In the end, you have to just come to terms with the fact that your body is going to do whatever it does. Instead of focusing on getting skinny or getting to a certain size, focus on improving your diet, fitness and overall health. I may not be bikini model material but I'm still cute as hell and kick *kitten*!
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That I'll lose all the weight and still be ugly... Lol! I try to make light of it, but it's still a legitimate fear. That I'll never actually be happy with myself.
Madeline, you're gorgeous!! You have the most beautiful complexion and you look so pretty.
Hush your mouth, girl. :flowerforyou:0 -
I lost a lot of weight in my face and it made me look older, and it shows how long my face is, which is weird.
So my fear is looking skeletal.0 -
You know every time I see a post I like I want to click "LIKE" Damn it anyway that they don't have a like button on MFP!!!!! This was great though and head on,The breast thing seriously doesn't matter. I think a beautiful body has a lot to do with proportion. Look at the celebraties, they come in all sizes too.
@Lemondrop - Not possible, lol
The excess skin... well, that's an honest concern and seems to be a real pot shot. I avoided it, many others have too, but many have not. Even if that is a problem for you, you will still feel sooo much better physically that it really is worth it.0 -
That I'll lose all the weight and still be ugly... Lol! I try to make light of it, but it's still a legitimate fear. That I'll never actually be happy with myself.
Ugly??!! you're going to have to pick a new fear....:noway:0 -
As with most of the replies here, excess skin and re-buying clothing at least enter my mind. As does the possibility of not reaching a certain feeling with my goal. Will meet all of that when the time arises, I guess.
To any women out there that worry their husbands/boyfriends out there won't love them because they lose weight (including breast volume), you shouldn't worry. If they truly love you, they'll love you no matter the weight or condition. If for some reason they use the excuse, there's deeper issues to how they feel than just your body image.0 -
To any women out there that worry their husbands/boyfriends out there won't love them because they lose weight (including breast volume), you shouldn't worry. If they truly love you, they'll love you no matter the weight or condition. If for some reason they use the excuse, there's deeper issues to how they feel than just your body image.
AGREED!0 -
Like some others, I worry I won't be happy with how I look...I am worried that since I just had a breast reduction, my boobs might look limp (although I've been assured that with slow weight loss and weight training that shouldn't be much of an issue). Mostly, and this might sound vain, I am worried that people will talk meanly about my old weight. For instance, a friend commented on how my breasts before "would just plop to both sides when I lied down before" - something I'd always been embarrassed about, but knowing others thought it was unattractive/gross was upsetting. I fear that people will say things like "NOW you look good in a pencil skirt, before you never did!" or the comment I FEAR MORE THAN ANYTHING "now your body matches your face" (I've always been told I have a pretty/beautiful/blah blah face).
Yep, depressing forum.
Oh, at the same time, I am worried that I will be too sexy that too many guys will want to be my boyfriend and I won't know which one to choose! And I will go broke buying new clothes. :laugh:0 -
Biggest fear is after I lose all my weight, I'll become one of those jerks who after its all over act like they are the bomb dot com..
Please, PLEASE someone smack me upside the head if I do!!
Thank you in advance! :flowerforyou:
you don't have to be a jerk but you can still be the bomb...I feel sexy as hell to be frank and love my new body...I feel like da bomb, act like it but not a jerk about it I hope...0 -
As someone who has lost 50 lbs (in my 40's) and maintained for over 6 years..currently 50 and in the best shape of my life I think I can tell you that you will grow to love your new body, your renewed health, the general optimism that comes from being the best that you can be. It eventually becomes less about a number on the scale and more about all the posibilities a healthy lifestyle affords you. I have a little bit of everything that has been mentioned, smaller boobs, a little loose skin, chubby cheeks turned into cheekbones.....it's all good because I'm happy.0
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That it will change who I am. I think you can get a very different view on life if you lose significant weight, and I imagine (like any life change) it may be difficult to manage those changes in a positive way.0
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All of the above !!!
I didn't really worry about the skin thing, I guess I figured at my age it is just a given - but it actually it is not as bad as I thought it would be.
Funny how I never really worried about keeping the weight off, originally my goal was to lose 55 pounds so I never thought it would be really noticeable - but now after 80 pounds I get those compliments that tell me how good I look but then ask do I think it will last ????
I still have about 20 pounds to go and these are honestly the scariest - I really don't know how I will look and feel about myself at that point but I do intend to reach my goal regardless.0 -
Just one... that my clothes will be too baggy. I have a large wardrobe of clothes I really like and cannot afford to replace. Seriously. I'm retired and have no income, so I can't spend any money on "myself".0
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I've always been heavier (varying ranges, but this is about the lightest I've been in my adult life, and I'm about 25# lighter than I was when I was 12), so I've never felt deserving of a man I truly wanted (attractive, accomplished, funny, sweet, in-shape, loves his family etc). Even though I've been working on my head as much as my body and know I'm a great catch, I'm still afraid they won't view me that way even once I reach my goal. I won't have any more excuses about why they don't like me. . . Perhaps a bit irrational and insecure, but real nonetheless...0
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Oddly enough, my fear is that I won't be invisible anymore. Right now, I feel like I don't get noticed, and the introvert in me kinda loves that. I'm single, so I tell myself that my weight is the number one reason that I don't get asked out. I don't actually know that the weight is the reason, but it's something I can hide behind and not worry about getting hurt.0
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Getting pregnant and then gaining all my weight back.0
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That no matter how much I lose, I'll want to lose more.0
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I'm scared my husband won't be attracted to me, I was skinny when we got together but over time I gained weight and he has told me on several occasions that he like something to hold on to and squeeze.0
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That I will have an excess amount of skin.
YES! THIS!!!0 -
I've always been heavier (varying ranges, but this is about the lightest I've been in my adult life, and I'm about 25# lighter than I was when I was 12), so I've never felt deserving of a man I truly wanted (attractive, accomplished, funny, sweet, in-shape, loves his family etc). Even though I've been working on my head as much as my body and know I'm a great catch, I'm still afraid they won't view me that way even once I reach my goal. I won't have any more excuses about why they don't like me. . . Perhaps a bit irrational and insecure, but real nonetheless...
I can relate to this...but there are men out there who see a good catch and you will find him, I found mine when I was much heavier than I am now....work on that head more it's about that to be honest...if you know and show you are a great catch someone worthy will chase that regardless of what you look like.0 -
I guess my only fear is re-gaining. I've done this all my life. And all the "it's not a diet it's a lifestyle change" arguments in world don't help, because the problem is that life is full of lifestyle changes.
I will only maintain my weight with exercise. And it's these lifestyle changes in routine that always throw me off track. It's very hard for me to fit exercise in my day, so whenever I have to change my routine, I gain weight until I can get back into an exercise routine. Once I do, I lose and maintain.
Until the next lifestyle change comes along.0 -
None!
I am a little excess skin (lost 60 pounds to date) & my breast are smaller which I am very happy about because I found it difficult to find clothes that fit properly).
Because I've always seen the word 'diet' as a temporary fix to being overweight I changed my thinking and my lifestyle of eating and exercising. I enjoy whatever food I want by eating balanced & portion controlled meals along with yummy snacks and desserts WHEN I want them, not because they are there.
Do not fear ...0 -
Getting pregnant and then gaining all my weight back.
This!!! And I worry with the skin issues.
This is a great post. Some of them lately haven't been super encouraging and this one, though sad, is. It is helpful to know we have the same fears. Good luck to everyone!0 -
I'm in the camp with people who don't want to be seen as "showing off." I've already bought some clothes that are way clingier than anything I would have worn pre-loss, and I like the way I look in them. But there are some critics in my office (we call them Stadler and Waldorf from the Muppets) that I know are making nasty comments behind my back, and it makes me paranoid. I don't have the best self-esteem to begin with, and if someone thinks that *I* think I'm "hot stuff" it really bothers me. I want to enjoy my new health and shape without someone criticizing me for it...then again I think you get criticized by someone no matter what you do; you just have to find the strength not to care.0
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I've always liked the composition of my body. Athletic, small chest, round butt, long strong legs. But, I sometimes fear that I've gained weight because I am avoiding the fact that I can't meet a good guy, that I'm not good enough regardless of what I look like.
So, I'm afraid that I will have a smoking body again but still be alone becasue I'm insecure, a little older, kind of a cynical bi&ch and still not good enough.0 -
Biggest fear is after I lose all my weight, I'll become one of those jerks who after its all over act like they are the bomb dot com..
Please, PLEASE someone smack me upside the head if I do!!
Thank you in advance! :flowerforyou:
"If you see me getting mighty,
if you see me getting high,
knock me down.....I'm not bigger than life"
Red Hot Chili Peppers.0 -
I fear I WON'T lose breast size, I have plenty to lose there. Also that I won't get rid of the excess skin0
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My fears are more emotional. I fear that people will relate to me differently. Also, I fear the response from people to my changing look. I don't like drawing attention based on my appearance. It feels shallow for people to focus on just my outward appearance and offends me in a way that feels discriminatory. I want people to notice me because I'm smart and a good person regardless if I'm thinner or heavier. The journey to be thin is mine and just for me.
I agree. I am worried that people who blew me off when I gained weight will try to come back into my life after I lose weight. It's so insulting because I will be the same person. If I wasn't good enough for them before, a change in size shouldn't matter.
Also, having lost a bunch of weight before (and gaining it all back, then some), I know that I attract unwanted attention when I am smaller. I'm an introvert and really don't like the attention, but I'm usually too nice to be direct, so people keep bugging me. Being overweight has some benefits for me, like keeping me relatively invisible.
I am also afraid I'll gain it back, because I have already done that several times. I am hoping this time will be different because I am eating differently.0 -
fear does not exist HOW DARES WINS0
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My biggest fear right now is quitting/gaining because I'm just starting out, but looking ahead to my future 150lb self, I agree that I worry about small things like loose skin (even looser and jigglier than it is now, post-baby). I also worry about people saying I looked like crap before (i.e now), even if they mean it in a nice way.
I am mostly terrified that I will get to my goal weight and someone will say/imply that me being 218lbs was the reason my daughter was stillborn. I worry even more that a Doctor will say it. I know they won't (we already have theories/a diagnosis), so it's irrational, but it's really scary. I do not know what I would do.0
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