How to stop obsessing and calorie counting

annette_15

I plan on seeing a therapist, I feel like talking to someone who might understand (as nobody I know in real life get it) will b helpful. Not sure if thats an option for u?

BigGuy47

I measure and weigh most things to make sure I am eating only one serving and then I sort of keep a running total in my head.

This is what I do. I got burnt out on counting, had to step away.

AlwaysInMotion

Think the threshold idea is very realistic with my lifestyle. Working and routine are my life however sometimes work (and a frustrated husband) can throw a curve ball so having a threshold where I do not freak out is so simple and sensible. Thanks.

Glad I could help! :flowerforyou:

tigerblue

I want to come back and read these later! Maintaining is tough.

gillian211179

Thanks for the suggestion. this what I do. Every third or fourth Sunday I hit costco and then cook and cook until the freezer is full. That way I all I have to do is take out. My obsessing is more what can I have because of what I have already eaten so I get balance and also what I would like as I love food and tastes. To not think about this for at least a moment would be amazing.

gillian211179

You read my mind!!!!! Yesterday was disgusting! Pizza, 3 scoops cinema ice cream, popcorn, more for dinner, pretzels, nuts, rice crackers, cake!!!! No way I could track it all. Now this morning I should go for a run but I am on holiday this week and have decided to not go, give myself a break and have asked hubby to hide the scales until the day we go back to work . Who knows maybe giving it a break and my body a little bit of a rest/shock will jolt it back into play next week????

gillian211179

You read my mind!!!!! Yesterday was disgusting! Pizza, 3 scoops cinema ice cream, popcorn, more for dinner, pretzels, nuts, rice crackers, cake!!!! No way I could track it all. Now this morning I should go for a run but I am on holiday this week and have decided to not go, give myself a break and have asked hubby to hide the scales until the day we go back to work . Who knows maybe giving it a break and my body a little bit of a rest/shock will jolt it back into play next week????

aarondnguyen

Take some time off tracking calories and eat in a freestyle manner. It'll do you some good.

Beckilovespizza

In for the advice, am sooo in the same situation... Well done on the loss though, it's amazing!

5pmsomewherenow

Maybe just stop so much preplanning and calorie counting in your mind. After four years, you must have developed some healthy eating habits, and enjoy some of the low-glycemic, high fiber and lean protein foods that are SO GOOD for a healthy lifestyle.

How about just continuing to use MFP as a great resource to keep logging what you eat and your activity for a couple of weeks, maybe a month -- then you'll be able to look back and take an honest look at where your current lifestyle is taking you.

After four years, it would be interesting to see what you body and mind have as a lifestyle set-point -- how much do you really crave the healthy foods, and the physical activity that is so important to a well-balanced life?? It might give you a chance to see where you stand, and then make a promise to yourself that you will re-assess at the end of 30 days.

gillian211179

Thanks, everything you have said sounds so sensible on paper. I have got a very good knowledge of health and nutrition my problem however is volume and my love affair with food. My husband jokes that I have food porn!!! I.e all my magazines, internet look ups and itv programmes are all food related.

Maybe just had a freak out since I am on holiday although still at home, not exercised as much and basically eaten what I want in the volume I want and now feel full bloated and my jeans are tight. Once I am back at work next week I can re focus and hopefully lead a more relaxed balanced lifestyle. More akin to the suggestion that you posted which makes sense;)

tigerblue

Okay I got a chance to read the posts. I would agree with lots of them!

I have found maintenance to be more difficult than losing. I have been on maintenance for 3 years now, and in the last year I have gained nearly 10 pounds

It sounds like I am similar to you in not being able to use hunger cues to eat sensibly. Basically, I don't eat because I am hungry. I eat because I like food. I cannot trust my full-feeling after I eat, because basically, unless I just stuff myself, I don't feel full. I am trying to train myself to give my body about 20-30 minutes to register full, and that is helping some, but basically I stop eating only because I know intellectually that I have had enough. And so I must log, and probably I will have to log for the rest of my life.

The difficulty with maintenance and logging is that there is no room for error during maintenance. When you are eating at 500 calorie deficit, then if you are off by even 250, you still have a 250 deficit. But if you go over in maintenance you gain (or if you set your number below just in case, then you risk undereating and continuing to stress your body).

So for me the hard part has been finding the magic number.

In fact now I am obsessed because I can't seem to lose the pounds I regained. It is like the rules changed! I recently re set my numbers at what might be maintenance for me because I was so totally stressed out that nothing seemed to be working. In fact it seemed that when I took a larger deficit I GAINED! So now perhaps I have damaged my metabolism.

Anyway, I feel your pain. And I look forward to seeing any other responses.

Shara

As I read through the posts, the one thing that really stands out to me is how sad it is that we become slaves to the weight, the calories, the "ideal" weight, and we lose sight of life. I am not judging because I also fight with all of the above. I am amazed at your strength, gillian and many others, that it took for you all to lose so much weight!! Be proud of yourselves. Hold your head high because that is incredible! One thing that I think is important is that we maintain confidence in our ability to do the right thing. We all get so caught up in the fear of re-gaining the weight that life is passing us by.

I have played what I call "The Numbers Game" for years and it never ends well. I become obsessive about calories burned (working out), calories ingested, questioning every item I put in my mouth.....until I am miserable. It's not fair to my loved ones who love me no matter what yet I push them away when I become so obsessed. Who wants to spend time with me if it seems that all I care about is my size?

I have now found a formula that seems to be working.
The first (and MOST important thing) is that I appreciate my body, all that it can do, even if it's not perfect. It will never be perfect but it can be pretty darn good!
The second thing is that I (loosely) keep track on MFP of my daily meals and snacks just to maintain awareness. I pay less attention to the calories and more attention to eating regularly....Breakfast,Snack,Lunch,Snack,Dinner,Snack. For the most part, I eat clean but I also allow myself some "fun food" here and there. I do find that the regular meals keeps my blood sugar in check.
The third thing is that I do my daily workouts so I always feel empowered. I don't always choose to do the hardest workout I own, sometimes I do something that's fun! I do wear a heart rate monitor to log calories burned but I have made a deal with myself that whatever the calories burned, it's all good! I used to beat myself up if I didn't burn 500 or 600 cals every workout but now I'm okay with whatever. As long as I get it in, I'm happy!
The fourth thing is that I have decided to take one day at a time. Each day, I do my best and try to be kind to myself. I know that if I follow my rules above, I will put myself in a great position to succeed.

One of the best articles I ever read was by Jamie Eason called "Calories are not evil". I wish I could share it with anyone who is interested but I guess I can't attach anything here. If you would like to read it, message me and I'll see what I can do.

Shara

gillian211179

Perspective is an amazing thing;) I have had a bit of that over the past few days between the posts on here, spending some quality time with my family and having some major challenges with food and eating whilst on holiday. Today has been a good day so fingers crossed tomorrow will be too.

Thanks for your insight;)

ashutoshonline

As many opinions, as many mouths. What works for Arnold Scwarzenegger has the same chance of producing the same biological results on me as I have of winning the euromillions. Actually bit lesser because the human genome is larger than the odds of euromillions. If you are looking for a definitive answer, look into peer reviewed journals. Same holds true for my advice to you. Since you asked:
A Slowcarb diet has been by far, the most non OCD and sustainable nutrition regime that works for me to dramatically reduce fat% when I am Cutting. Like this and the next three months. After achieving a 10-14% bf, I move on to the other part of the equation for fat loss, Muscle mass. Eventually reach optima.
Fat and protein will make you feel satiated in half the portion size than a bowl of rice and these nutrients are not translated by your body into fuel in the same way as carbs.
As a rule of thumb, judging your individual meals on fat,protein, roughage and carbohydrate content, in this order of priority, will automatically make you end up at a caloric deficit without counting calories.

tigerblue

As many opinions, as many mouths. What works for Arnold Scwarzenegger has the same chance of producing the same biological results on me as I have of winning the euromillions. Actually bit lesser because the human genome is larger than the odds of euromillions. If you are looking for a definitive answer, look into peer reviewed journals. Same holds true for my advice to you. Since you asked:
A Slowcarb diet has been by far, the most non OCD and sustainable nutrition regime that works for me to dramatically reduce fat% when I am Cutting. Like this and the next three months. After achieving a 10-14% bf, I move on to the other part of the equation for fat loss, Muscle mass. Eventually reach optima.
Fat and protein will make you feel satiated in half the portion size than a bowl of rice and these nutrients are not translated by your body into fuel in the same way as carbs.
As a rule of thumb, judging your individual meals on fat,protein, roughage and carbohydrate content, in this order of priority, will automatically make you end up at a caloric deficit without counting calories.

This is definitely a good idea for some. 10 years ago I lost 30 pounds VERY quickly without counting calories by eating slow carbs and limiting sugar and refined carbs. It works. For me personally, though, it was not sustainable. I did great when I was eating at home, but because of my family, work, schedule, etc. I often find myself having to eat away from home and often in restaurants. So as soon as I relaxed and started living my life again, the weight flew back on, plus ten more pounds. I was able to maintain only about 8 months. Now, if you are able to primarily cook and eat at home, this is a great plan. It helped with the hunger/appetite too. I just have found it easier to have the more flexible calorie counting method. At least until the last year. . .

likitisplit

As I read through the posts, the one thing that really stands out to me is how sad it is that we become slaves to the weight, the calories, the "ideal" weight, and we lose sight of life. I am not judging because I also fight with all of the above. I am amazed at your strength, gillian and many others, that it took for you all to lose so much weight!! Be proud of yourselves. Hold your head high because that is incredible! One thing that I think is important is that we maintain confidence in our ability to do the right thing. We all get so caught up in the fear of re-gaining the weight that life is passing us by.

I have played what I call "The Numbers Game" for years and it never ends well. I become obsessive about calories burned (working out), calories ingested, questioning every item I put in my mouth.....until I am miserable. It's not fair to my loved ones who love me no matter what yet I push them away when I become so obsessed. Who wants to spend time with me if it seems that all I care about is my size?

I have now found a formula that seems to be working.
The first (and MOST important thing) is that I appreciate my body, all that it can do, even if it's not perfect. It will never be perfect but it can be pretty darn good!
The second thing is that I (loosely) keep track on MFP of my daily meals and snacks just to maintain awareness. I pay less attention to the calories and more attention to eating regularly....Breakfast,Snack,Lunch,Snack,Dinner,Snack. For the most part, I eat clean but I also allow myself some "fun food" here and there. I do find that the regular meals keeps my blood sugar in check.
The third thing is that I do my daily workouts so I always feel empowered. I don't always choose to do the hardest workout I own, sometimes I do something that's fun! I do wear a heart rate monitor to log calories burned but I have made a deal with myself that whatever the calories burned, it's all good! I used to beat myself up if I didn't burn 500 or 600 cals every workout but now I'm okay with whatever. As long as I get it in, I'm happy!
The fourth thing is that I have decided to take one day at a time. Each day, I do my best and try to be kind to myself. I know that if I follow my rules above, I will put myself in a great position to succeed.

One of the best articles I ever read was by Jamie Eason called "Calories are not evil". I wish I could share it with anyone who is interested but I guess I can't attach anything here. If you would like to read it, message me and I'll see what I can do.

Shara

This

I learned to run. I adore running. I would run if it made me fat. I've found a Callesthenics program that gives me an ideal amount of structure vs flexibility. Getting better at these too things trumps scale weight or the number of calories I put in my mouth. They allow me to take a little time for myself and pays off in countless ways all through the rest of my life.

My new mantra is "don't diet and exercise. Fuel and train."

Those three cookies weren't me screwing up my diet. They were a conscious choice to let me maximize my run tomorrow.

gillian211179

This is exactly how I would love to feel and think. For the most past I do! I run too, about 30-50k a week depending on what other workouts and strength training I do but I work out 5 days a week for 1-2 hours, so I really can if I wanted eat what I want. Mon- fir at work, no problems as routine allows me control. All breakfasts, lunches and diners are home made as I also have school lunches to organise and I want my daughter to have a balanced diet. Then at night I allow myself a small treat. Come the weekends though I go into panic mode as there is so much I want to eat. Like today. I know we are having a lovely big family dinner so I am trying to tell myself it is one day just relax and enjoy what you eat just do not OVER eat until stuffed and if you want a few chocolates or a few treats then st have them, it is Easter and I will run tomorrow so what is the big deal, big deal is that voice saying no do not do it and this is when I end up gorging and loosing control!!!!!! One question, how did you overcome that voice of negativity and tell yourself it is okay?

sengalissa

Hi
I am close to maintaining and have been maintaining many months after each of my weight loss journeys (after each pregnancy - I have 5 kids). I as well tend to obsess over calories but I found a great way to contain obsession and eating that really works for me (but only during maintenance - I have to feel the deficit in order to lose weight). Here is what I do: I have the same amount/food for breakfast every day so it becomes a no-brainer. Then I have a strict fast until lunch. No snacking in between meals! Then I have a healthy lunch that is at least half veggies. A normal dinner and … here comes the trick a bigger treat in the afternoon if I workout that day. A tiny treat (like 2 pieces of chocolate) if I do not work out. That way, I only have to keep two things in mind: no snacking between breakfast and lunch (it is ok to be hungry for a while, say 45minutes before lunch. That only means it is lunch time!). Second, bigger treats only when working out. If I have a bigger treat and don't work out, I have to cut back on dinner (only salad for instance). Simple rules, work forever.

themedalist

First off, CONGRATS!!!! I'm proud of you. You should be super PROUD, too!

I'm a long-term maintainer (over 10 years now). Sadly, abandoning all tracking around year 5 (thought I had meal planning and portion control *down*) caused me to slowly regain around 7 lbs/year (aka a 35lb gain over past 5 yrs). Luckily us big losers know how to take it off again, so no need to panic, right!

If anyone is interested, here are a few suggestions from this diet veteran:

1) Give yourself a weight gain threshold (ex: 10lb gain). And keep weighing weekly. If you go over that threshold, you start logging again. When you get safely below the threshold, you can stop logging. If you can stay below that threshold, you're golden... Just don't beat yourself up over minor fluctations. Set your max number and don't panic until you hit it.

2) If you are like me, you probably have some favorite healthy meals. Try to keep those in your regular rotation. Plan out your meals & snacks for the week (or at least 2-3 days out) so you don't go off the rails "freestyling" meals & snacks, especially when you are hungry and prone to poor decisions. If you are always great at breakfast or lunch, then don't sweat those meals. If dinner or snacking is problematic, then perhaps only log those.

3) Know your weaknesses. I know I have a problem with portion control, so I don't bring certain stuff into the house (for me, it's carbs - candy, ice cream, chips). If I want a treat, I have to get it outside my home (ex: a single serving of froyo from Red Mango)... not from the 10-gallon drum in my freezer. If you have certain diet weaknesses (ex: eating out), plan for it and make a battle plan (ex: limit eating out to 1 meal/week). For me, it's not bringing the problem stuff in my safe zone (my home).

4) Ya gotta make a commitment to keep up with the exercise even if you aren't logging. I went off diet, but then also went off exercise (goes back to losing my accountability when I stopped logging.) I guess ya gotta be realistic with yourself. If you move less, you eat less. If you move more, you can eat more. That's hard to do in maintenance, but not impossible. Just be aware of the potential pitfall.

That's all I got for now... I could go on, but it gets annoying! I hope that helps!!!

Really good advice. Keep in mind that your body wants to maintain; that's their preferred state. I cannot weigh and measure my food everyday for the rest of my life. For me, that's not a healthy relationship with food. I continue to log my food everyday, mostly because I want to keep an eye on my macros and micros. It doesn't bother me that my daily calorie count isn't as precise as it was when I was losing weight. The scale and how my clothes fit tell me that I'm still on track.