How to stop obsessing and calorie counting

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Replies

  • Nillalis
    Nillalis Posts: 71 Member
    Hi

    To me it sounds like it's the stress around food and your every day life that is the biggest issue for you right now. You have spent 4 years doing this and most likely to maintain you can't drop that. I have read somewhere that it takes the body up to 7 years to accept a new weight and not wanting to get back to what it was before.

    My suggestion would be to work on stress and try to learn how to relax your mind. I have a great app that I like that talks me into relaxing like meditating, it's in Swedish so won't link but I'm sure you can find one you will like. Try use it every day for 3 weeks and see if it does a difference. Then in future if you feel you are obsessing maybe lissening to it and doing a few min of meditation can help your thoughts to relax.

    Good luck and grats on all the hard work you done especially the physical training.
  • Funny one, because I did it to be fitter and healthier and be a good role model for my daughter. Yes I was unhappy with my size but that was not all it was, but you do not think about other emotions that might come along the way!
  • veredit
    veredit Posts: 29 Member
    I was overweight all my life until 2013, when I reached my weight goal, losing 57 lbs. Since than, your struggle is mine, too, and for me, maintaining is harder then losing. I discover myself all the time looking at food and seeing just calories. I eat a chocolate biscuit and immediately count that I have to fit that biscuit in my calories intake. I see calorie numbers flying all around and this can be so frustrating. Still, I'm convinced that I have to count all my life, if I want to maintain this weight and BFI. This said, I found this post to be very useful and I am curious about others dealing with the same problem.
  • CumberlandGrammy
    CumberlandGrammy Posts: 331 Member
    Thank you for this post and to everyone who has offered their thoughtful insights and suggestions. Just starting my maintenance and can certainly understand how obsessed one can feel. Good luck to everyone!
  • kbeardmore22
    kbeardmore22 Posts: 283 Member
    bump
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  • karmstg
    karmstg Posts: 15 Member
    I haven't been logging or counting since December, but I am mindful of what I eat. Eight months of logging taught me to better evaluate my choices, and if I'm making one I know is high calorie, I eat less of it...or if I really want the whole thing, I adjust my eating afterward to compensate.

    I'm a daily weigher--first thing in the morning. I know that's considered a no-no, but for me, it actually reduces anxiety rather than raising it. I start my day knowing I'm still on track. I have a mental range of 3 lbs, and if I weigh in at the top, while I know it could be simple fluctuation, I'm more mindful of my eating until it drops again. Mindful--not obsessed or stressed. I just pay more attention, i.e. how badly do I want that cookie today and if I really do, how about half instead? :)
  • Thank you for the good advice. I have felt so much better this weekend. I have not logged other than the odd thing to see what the micronutrients were but I have not logged everything. Tomorrow start of a new week and back to being mindful and logging, but that way I know at the weekend or when iam travelling with work this week I can allow myself a little flexibility. What really helps though is knowing I am working out. Regardless if I eat an extra bit of chocolate or a little too much at dinner, getting that work out in and pushing myself to be be mentally and physically stronger makes me feel so much better and in control.

    Not sure what has happened in the last fortnight but feel as though I am beginning to see light! Maybe it is this forum?????? Everyone's comment and thoughts are really sinking in, so a huge big thank you to everyone.
  • Firehawk734
    Firehawk734 Posts: 132 Member
    Nothing wrong with taking 2-3 weeks away from hard calorie counting but I would still be mindful of what I'm eating.

    I wish I were one of those people who didn't have to count calories all the time, but the hard reality is it's important for those who struggle with their weight to know what they're putting in their mouth most/all the time.

    There is nothing more annoying than having to lose weight you already lost.
  • merizzel
    merizzel Posts: 14 Member
    You read my mind!!!!! Yesterday was disgusting! Pizza, 3 scoops cinema ice cream, popcorn, more for dinner, pretzels, nuts, rice crackers, cake!!!! No way I could track it all. Now this morning I should go for a run but I am on holiday this week and have decided to not go, give myself a break and have asked hubby to hide the scales until the day we go back to work . Who knows maybe giving it a break and my body a little bit of a rest/shock will jolt it back into play next week????
    I would suggest that when you get back from holiday go back to your normal routine and do not weigh youre self until the week after. Enjoy your holiday and your family dont think about food.
  • meerkat70
    meerkat70 Posts: 4,605 Member
    Flicking through your diary, I feel slightly concerned that you still seem to be eating to lose. A lot of the time your intake is around 1200-ish? Or are there just a few things you aren't logging?

    I think the anxiety is completely understandable. But I think your shift of mindset has to be a psychological one - of recognising that you are slim now, that you don't have to battle to be slim. Accepting your new body is a big deal, and difficult to achieve.

    Have you considered calculating and working to TDEE instead of using MFPs calcs and the variability that's produced by eating back cals? That might be easier to manage week to week?
  • AsaThorsWoman
    AsaThorsWoman Posts: 2,303 Member
    Hello! This idea will probably fly in the face of what everyone says, it is my opinion and it will differ from what many say here, and that's fine, what works for everyone is different.

    I lost a lot following Paleo diet and not logging, then I hit a road block where I wasn't losing or gaining, but I wanted to keep losing, so I started adding calorie and carb restriction.

    My current plan is one I get to maintenance, go back to Paleo and not log.

    Like other said, if I gain more than a certain number of pounds (10?) I'll go back to logging daily until it's gone.

    But I never gained on Paleo, even when I ate a lot and was probably way over calorie, but macros and activity level, as well as hormones, play a lot into that as well.

    Good luck, and congrats on your achievement.
  • Sreneesa
    Sreneesa Posts: 1,170 Member
    Great thread!

    And I totally understand and feel what you are saying.
  • Great start to week!!!!!! Three steps forward last week feels like twenty backwards today;( why is it that those closest to you make things so much harder or cause you to give in!
  • Hi what is tdee????
  • matt6050
    matt6050 Posts: 56 Member
    tdee is total daily energy expenditure i think
  • GertrudeHorse
    GertrudeHorse Posts: 646 Member
    Tagging for future reference.
  • How does tdee work and how do you work it out??? If it gives me more calories then I will try it, need something to justify the chocolate and nuts I have just devoured after lunch!!!!! How am I going to make it to dinner????
  • matt6050
    matt6050 Posts: 56 Member
    This is a good tdee calculator:

    http://scoobysworkshop.com/calorie-calculator/

    TDEE is what you need daily in order to meet your goals (this is just what I understand it to be, so take what I'm saying with a grain of salt). So if you use this calculator, it should give you an idea of what you need on average daily to maintain your weight. It is very similar to what MFP does, except with TDEE, I don't think you eat back exercise calories, because those should already be factored into the TDEE amount.

    However, since your goal is to stop counting calories, it may not be the best thing to do...
  • billhilly1968
    billhilly1968 Posts: 75 Member
    I, too obsess about calorie counting. I use MFP and obsess over it. I go to it numerous times a day to make changes or to ensure that I am eating the right things. I am obsessed with making sure that I eat the allotted amount too. As a task oriented person I view it as a job to be achieved. I mark off each item as it is taken in. If I do not eat it is good news, instead of bad. I know better in one part of my mind but the other part is in control. I am scared that I have developed an eating disorder. I will not eat something if it causes me to go over my caloric intake no matter how badly I am craving it. I am afraid it will make me fat even though the "right side of my brain " knows it will not make me fat. I will not eat it. I am tired of struggling. It makes me not want to track my food on MFP. I do not know if that is part of the problem. Please give input or advice. Thanks in advance .
  • Annie_01
    Annie_01 Posts: 3,096 Member
    I, too obsess about calorie counting. I use MFP and obsess over it. I go to it numerous times a day to make changes or to ensure that I am eating the right things. I am obsessed with making sure that I eat the allotted amount too. As a task oriented person I view it as a job to be achieved. I mark off each item as it is taken in. If I do not eat it is good news, instead of bad. I know better in one part of my mind but the other part is in control. I am scared that I have developed an eating disorder. I will not eat something if it causes me to go over my caloric intake no matter how badly I am craving it. I am afraid it will make me fat even though the "right side of my brain " knows it will not make me fat. I will not eat it. I am tired of struggling. It makes me not want to track my food on MFP. I do not know if that is part of the problem. Please give input or advice. Thanks in advance .

    First you just need to sit back and breath deep. I don't know if you have developed an eating disordered but what you describe I think happens to several of us...at least it did me.

    I was so focused on "getting it right"...I forgot to enjoy the journey.

    A few weeks ago I just had to face my obsession...food. This time not eating it...but thinking about it. I figured out that I was still letting food control me. So...

    I quit worrying about macro/micro targets...quit worrying about did I have 5 servings of veggies and 2 fruits. I quit thinking about what my next serving of protein would be...how many carbs I had eaten. I stopped and just enjoyed my food. The only thing that I concentrated on was staying within my calorie goal.

    Strange thing was...even with me not worrying about all of those details...at the end of the day...I had not only met my calorie goals but also those macro/micro ones. I think it proved to me...that I have the tools to eat healthy...I just have to rely upon them.

    For a while I was also obsessed with exercise...not so much doing to much...just with if I was doing the right ones. I spent more time worrying about it than I did exercising...so I stopped...I went back to doing what I love to do...long walks through the city...hiking on trails...doing my errands on foot instead of using a car.

    Oh...I also quit researching so much...trying to learn what to do...I just depended on what I know to do and what has been working in the past. I realized that I have already lost 65lbs in 8 months and what I learned through that will get me through the next 25 to 40 lbs. If I can't do it by this point I won't ever be able to maintain.

    Sorry about getting so wordy...this has been on my mind a lot lately...letting the "process" take over...and not enjoying the "journey".

    I want to look in to the mirror and not see how much more weight I have to lose...instead I want to be able to see...how far I have come.
  • graysmom2005
    graysmom2005 Posts: 1,882 Member
    I so could have written this post. I have been on MFP since 2009 almost consistently (ticker is lower as I forgot a DAY at the holidays...bummer. LOL) But it's a constant tally in my mind at all times. I weight the same as I did when I originally lost the 40. I know I know how to eat right. I just can't let go. My fitbit ran out the other day, and I decided not to get another battery as all of these numbers that I think give me control, aren't making me happy...and I don't think they are helping me succeed more.....again, I'm still the same weight. I'm slowly coming around to realizing that the anxiety all of these numbers can cause just aren't good for the soul. It's a slow process, but I'm going to try and start just living, and hopefully finding some peace along the way.
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  • Without sounding awful it is so good to hear that I am not the only one obsessing and being controlling.
    One question, does anyone have an awareness of what's triggers them to loose control and have a binge? Over the past two weeks I feel as though I have been on a roller coaster. Freaking out over volume and things eaten, then getting into a good place and relaxing and loosing the pounds I had gained. This week is a total melt down. Pounds and more are on and I am struggling to get out of the pit. I am bloated and this is adding to my anxiety. However without going into the deep and meaningful I think I have figured out what my trigger is but the hard part is working out how to handle it and not let it get to me next time that I have another few days like this!!!!
  • dpr73
    dpr73 Posts: 495 Member
    Just thought I could help out because I have recently gone through the same thing and seem to be figuring it out. I wanted to have all my numbers right ALL THE TIME. I thought going over one day would be the end of the world and was constantly counting. Eventually, I realized it wasn't healthy (NOT NECESSARILY DISORDERED...just wasn't making me happy with myself). I decided to let loose a little, which I was scared of (even posted a few times on the topic) and did away with logging on MFP for the most part. I am doing that for about three weeks and I have maintained (up to that point I was losing even though I didn't want to). I just used the eating schedule I already developed and kind of keep somewhat of a tally in my head of the calories I am eating to keep mindful. I have come off of eating things like "light" bread and moved to eating rolls/regular wheat bread. I am not so regimented with eating anymore (I eat when I am hungry, but when I need to snack, I know how substantial the snack should be to be healthy and satisfying and don't allow myself to overdo it). I have gone through Easter, A Family Celebration, and just a general weekend of letting go a little bit and haven't gained a pound! So I think as long as you stay mindful of what you're eating and allow yourself to enjoy stuff as well (YOU HAVE DEFINITELY LEARNED WHAT IS TOO MUCH!) you will start maintaining. Just try dumping MFP for a few weeks, you'll gain a MAX of like 1 or 2 lbs (which you most likely won't gain if you just stay mindful of your intake). If it works, stick with it! If for some reason it doesn't just go back to the drawing board...
  • Kakalina2
    Kakalina2 Posts: 26 Member
    I too have the same worries. Last summer I hit my lowest weight. Last fall I went on a 30 day cruise and quit smoking. I gained 12 pounds. It has been 6 months and I can not lose the 12 pounds. I lost 5 of it but gained 3 back as of today. :+{

    I am obsessing over it to no end. I am maintaining 1350 calories per day. I work out at the gym 3 x week for 90 minutes and have added bench pressing to my routine.

    I had thought perhaps it was muscle weight and tried on a pair of pants I bought new last summer. The waist was tight. They still fit but barely. I am getting discouraged.

    What do you do when you cut calories to the bone, work out and can't lose. I am quite a bit older than a lot of your pictures show but still it shouldn't be that hard just because I am over 63.

    If you figure it out OP please c'mon back and let us know.
  • No expert, but maybe not eating enough!!! I find that if I go into panic mode and freak out I cut my calories significantly but my body goes into reserve mode and just holds on to the extra pounds. Whereas if I eat up to my allowance and keep up the exercise it tends to come off. Really should not freak out then, but by that point I am past the point of rational thought!!!
  • kelly_e_montana
    kelly_e_montana Posts: 1,999 Member
    I go for months without counting calories, and I lost over half of my weight this go-around with no calorie counting at all.

    I have been counting calories since grade school, so I pretty much know what is in food. I also understand portion sizes and am very good at visually guessing. Usually when I weigh, I've over-estimated. I'm to the point where if I wait until the end of the day and log, I will be within 10% of my goal either way most of the time.

    I'm comfortable with this. Many people would not be comfortable with this lack of precision. When I find I am getting out of whack, I sit myself down and think about mindful eating. I also track for a while. I'm tracking right now because I am on a specific body recomp plan where I track my macros, but my calories aren't a huge concern for me.

    Once I stopped obsessing about my calories, I stopped thinking about food so much. It became less of a hobby. When we go through a significant weight loss, the activities surrounding how we did that can almost become hobbies. I have lost 60-80 pounds off and on every couple of years for most of my adult life. The reason I would gain it back is mostly related to an eating disorder I'm in recovery for (I would always gain weight when I wasn't working my program). I also couldn't feel the "success" of weight loss without having weight to lose.

    I don't care if I gain 3 or lose 5 here. I go up and down 5-8 pounds every week.

    A lot of it just depends on how much you love feeling "in control" and how well you have learned to manage portions and eat healthy foods. If you are primarily eating healthy foods like fruits/veggies/lean proteins, it will be easier to stay where you want to be without tracking too much. If you want to eat whatever you want, I think you still need to track.
  • kelly_e_montana
    kelly_e_montana Posts: 1,999 Member


    - I'll also just reiterate to keep up with the exercise. I've noticed my exercise slips when I'm being really lax on food too. For what it's worth, I have been pretty surprised by how much more I can eat than I expected and maintain, especially if I keep up with the exercise.


    Truth!!!!!
  • SillyTree
    SillyTree Posts: 29 Member
    I think you keep tracking…Being organized is smart…Allowing room to move within organization is the balance that is difficult to achieve.

    I haven't read all of the responses to the original post, because there are many…
    But perhaps some questions to answer, if you haven't already are;
    Why are you so afraid to be bigger again???
    What are you feeling when you're "freaking out" about getting off track???
    Is your obsessing over taking care of your body a bad thing??? Why or why not???
    If you think you should have a sense of portion control, but currently don't when it comes to sweets, why do you think or feel that is???

    These questions may sound silly, but perhaps they will help get to the root of your problem, if you even have one?