Do YOU ever "sabotage" your friends?

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  • Katla49
    Katla49 Posts: 10,385 Member
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    Yes and No...

    Situation: My mum is very thin and going to be 60 this year, she doesn't go to the gym and her only exercise consists of walking the dogs a couple of times a day, she has always been very thin with her heaviest weight being 8st 7lbs...now in the past and if being totally honest, i am envious of that weight particularly when she suits "young fashion" better than someone who is 35 years younger than her! I try to get her to eat more, but moreso because I'm really worried about her health like the onset of osteoporosis or her having a fall and breaking a bone. She also doesn't have much muscle...so its more of a cruel to be kind thing...I really doubt she gets more than 1500 kcal a day...

    Encourage your mum to try yoga or pilates with you. It'll help prevent osteoporosis far better than her eating more cals.

    Great advice. Those of us over 50 have different metabolisms than when we were younger. The difference between losing and maintaining for me is about 50 or 60 calories a day. Of course, I do get to eat back all my exercise calories. Yoga is a mainstay for me and is doing wonders for my health.
  • justal313
    justal313 Posts: 1,375 Member
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    Indirectly, yes. Between the lot of us we've lost over a half ton. I've baked/made things that border on too much (calories, fat, whatever) and brought them to an event. We can all have a reasonable serving but it is food that some would consider bad. It just allows me to make my Salted Caramel Ice Cream, have a couple scoops and then it's gone.
  • krennie8
    krennie8 Posts: 301 Member
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    what do you mean by "sabotage"? I mean, tell people that they aren't fat? I don't consider that "sabotage". But I generally don't comment on someone's weight, good or bad unless asked directly.
  • kassiebby1124
    kassiebby1124 Posts: 927 Member
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    @Krennie I mean like giving unhealthy choices, telling them clothes look good when they don't, etc. my roommate has an awful habit of wearing clothes that don't fit her and I've asked her about it but she continues to buy them because they are "sexy."
  • sunfastrose
    sunfastrose Posts: 543 Member
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    If I want to sabotage someone I usually cut their brake lines or wire explosives to detonate when they open their front door.

    How many calories are burned by making new friends? Is that your weight loss secret?
  • debbiesats
    debbiesats Posts: 65 Member
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    I don't.
    But I have had to speak up at home to avoid unintended consequences. On a Friday night I've cut back to one or two glasses of wine from each bottle and a single handful of crisps - hub was still finishing off the bottle and packet, same as when I was having (at least) as much as him.
    It's a bit like when I was pregnant and he started 'drinking for two'
    Now we buy smaller bags of crisps and the (second) bottle goes back in the fridge.
  • gypsy_spirit
    gypsy_spirit Posts: 2,107 Member
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    If I want to sabotage someone I usually cut their brake lines or wire explosives to detonate when they open their front door.

    Note to self: stay on J's good side, stay on J's good side, stay on J's good side...
  • 970Mikaela1
    970Mikaela1 Posts: 2,013 Member
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    I like to think of myself as more of a will power tester. kinda like at the gym. ya know. someone to help you learn your limits and push you harder.
  • seltzermint555
    seltzermint555 Posts: 10,741 Member
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    Never. That has never even crossed my mind.

    I have always just been the fat friend and didn't care at all, seriously. I think I was so used to that since childhood when I was way bigger (taller and heavier) than every girl around me that it felt normal for that to be the case in adulthood as well. In some ways I do think I have/had a bit of a big ego and always thought even though I was the fattest or close to it, I was far from the least attractive.

    Now I support any friends who want to eat lighter/healthier and get exercise etc. I can be a little competitive though and I have to crush that sometimes, especially when I have a few friends who work out more than I ever plan to ;-) If I exercise more it needs to be because I want/need to and not just to "beat" others.
  • WendyTerry420
    WendyTerry420 Posts: 13,274 Member
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    WTF? That's not friendship.
  • bcattoes
    bcattoes Posts: 17,299 Member
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    No. I'm more the annoying friend who is always trying to get someone to exercise with me or eat better.
  • KariOrtiz2014
    KariOrtiz2014 Posts: 343 Member
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    I've never done this!!
  • Lives2Travel
    Lives2Travel Posts: 682 Member
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    Nope. I don't sabotage them by being a food pusher or by giving unsolicited advice. If friends ask about what I've done, I keep it to "counted calories". I'd rather not go into detail since it's my belief that everyone should do the work of figuring out what works and is sustainable for them and that it varies for each person. I have directed people to MFP (when asked) and told them it's a great famework for figuring out a plan for yourself.
  • ninav1980
    ninav1980 Posts: 514 Member
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    My friend and I had an interesting discussion the other day about weight loss and people we know. My roommate is trying to lose weight and I offer her helpful tips without being too invasive now and then when she asks (I'm not really partial towards her but I live with her so..yeah) but my friend was saying that back in high school when her friend were losing weight, she wouldn't exactly "encourage" them to eat more or unhealthily, but when asked her opinion she wouldn't oppose their thoughts. That got me thinking that I used to do something similar because I didn't want to be the "Fat friend." I don't do this anymore, however. But have you ever been so envious of a friend's physique (or worried they'll look better than you when they do lose the weight) that you sabotage their efforts either directly or indirectly?

    Why would you do that to Regina George?
  • Lives2Travel
    Lives2Travel Posts: 682 Member
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    My friend and I had an interesting discussion the other day about weight loss and people we know. My roommate is trying to lose weight and I offer her helpful tips without being too invasive now and then when she asks (I'm not really partial towards her but I live with her so..yeah) but my friend was saying that back in high school when her friend were losing weight, she wouldn't exactly "encourage" them to eat more or unhealthily, but when asked her opinion she wouldn't oppose their thoughts. That got me thinking that I used to do something similar because I didn't want to be the "Fat friend." I don't do this anymore, however. But have you ever been so envious of a friend's physique (or worried they'll look better than you when they do lose the weight) that you sabotage their efforts either directly or indirectly?

    Why would you do that to Regina George?

    Only one appropriate response to this: You go Glen Coco!
  • CeeHannah
    CeeHannah Posts: 9 Member
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    I have been very envious but never have I sabotaged somebody....
  • Capt_Apollo
    Capt_Apollo Posts: 9,026 Member
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    I do, in a way. They all assume that since I work out that I'll want to choose a healthy restaurant when we go out to eat, and are very surprised when I say "nah guys, I want a burger and a beer."
  • battybecks
    battybecks Posts: 147 Member
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    On a Friday night I've cut back to one or two glasses of wine from each bottle and a single handful of crisps - hub was still finishing off the bottle and packet, same as when I was having (at least) as much as him.
    It's a bit like when I was pregnant and he started 'drinking for two'

    This sounds very familiar! Although, to be fair, with me cutting back some of the calories in our evening meal, he'd be invisible from the side if he didn't compensate somewhere!

    I think I have sabotaged people's weight loss - but a long time ago and without realising it was sabotage (or even really thinking about it at all).

    I got annoyed recently when my Mum wouldn't let me say no to a piece of cake, and realised that I have done the exact same thing to people before. The desire to see someone eat what you've cooked, and to stop them denying themselves (if you see it as denial), and perhaps subliminally also the desire to keep them at the same weight so they don't make you look bad. I would have been shocked at the time if someone had told me that the latter was my motivator for cake pushing, but now that I have the benefit of hindsight ...
  • LeahNMe
    LeahNMe Posts: 73 Member
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    real friends don't sabotage friends...

    If you are actually doing that you are not a friend, if they are doing it they are not friends...
    +1
  • freemystery
    freemystery Posts: 184 Member
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    I thought I would. But when it actually happened, I couldn't do a thing. Perhaps because the person in question is my little sister.

    Umm.. the reason why? Maybe I'm too close to it. But it's heartbreaking to see somebody close to you want to change so badly and be unhappy in the skin they're in. You wish you could do something to fix it but you can't. You can do your best to help.

    Not that she's receptive at all, no she's a very angry young woman. But telling her "you're growing into your adult shape" when she's put on about 40-50lb in three years is a bare faced lie, at worst it could do her harm.

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