Do YOU ever "sabotage" your friends?

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  • MagicalLeopleurodon
    MagicalLeopleurodon Posts: 623 Member
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    According to the people on this site, yes i do. It's called "my diet plan allows for pizza, cookies, ice cream, and buffalo wings and i will keep it in my house and eat it whenever the urge strikes me but since YOU are dieting on leafy greens and boiled poultry i am sabatouging you."
  • awtume9
    awtume9 Posts: 423 Member
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    My mom does this, I suspect. Every time I start losing weight, she sends me a "care package". I got one just this week, full of Ghiradelli chocolates. The last one was cookies, and homemade fried chips. I don't think people do this on purpose, but maybe it's subconscious that they don't want to be the unattractive one of the bunch. It's easier to drag someone else down than to change your own habits.

    But, I legitimately turned to my husband maybe two days ago and said that I think she's trying to get me to gain weight again. And I can't exactly cut her out of my life...she's my mom.

    Um, can you give your mom my address? I will take those care packages off your hands....
  • Capt_Apollo
    Capt_Apollo Posts: 9,026 Member
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    My mom does this, I suspect. Every time I start losing weight, she sends me a "care package". I got one just this week, full of Ghiradelli chocolates. The last one was cookies, and homemade fried chips. I don't think people do this on purpose, but maybe it's subconscious that they don't want to be the unattractive one of the bunch. It's easier to drag someone else down than to change your own habits.

    But, I legitimately turned to my husband maybe two days ago and said that I think she's trying to get me to gain weight again. And I can't exactly cut her out of my life...she's my mom.

    How about you just don't tell her you're trying to lose weight?

    Considering cutting your mom out of your life because she sends your care packages? Wow.
  • tech_kitten
    tech_kitten Posts: 221 Member
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    I hate when I hear people say things like "eat a burger" to people that are thin. When I had gotten down to my goal weigth last year, I got so many compliments, but then the people I truly care for (like my mom) would tell me that she really wished that I would eat a burger and stop "starving" myself. I had lost weight gradually, so I wasn't starving myself - I worked really hard to lose weight and then that's the reaction I got, that I was too thin (which I wasn't, at 5'3" small frame, I was 120+ lbs). Most of these burger comments came from people who are overweight or obese, so I see the psychological effects that it must have to see someone that has been overweight succeed at losing where they have failed. But I have been on both ends. I've been the fat girl with a thin friend, and I always think it's great when people accomplish their goals, weight related or not.
  • Jen800
    Jen800 Posts: 548 Member
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    I don't think I've ever intentionally sabotaged anybody, although I remember a situation involving hot dogs when I was at my heaviest that I was rather inconsiderate of my friend who was trying to be healthier and lose weight at the time.

    Nowadays, I'm way too quick to help. Sometimes it's unasked for, but I can't help it. I'm working on it, promise!!

    I'm also really guilty of being envious of a friend's body. Honestly, I don't think the green-eyed monster has ever come out of me as hard as it does when I look at her pictures or see her. This girl really has the PERFECT body, and she makes no effort to hide that. She knows. Not that she should, mind you, but it's hard when I know this girl personally, and know for a fact she spends her day eating chips and smoking weed.... :/ Kinda discouraging when you work your *kitten* off and eat clean, but no matter. It'll catch up to her one day, and then I will have my revenge :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

    ....just kidding. Haha. The best thing to do is just keep working hard and staying positive, and loving myself/yourself for who I/you are!
  • crepes_
    crepes_ Posts: 583 Member
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    Not intentionally! I did, however, realize that I was using my friend as a bread bin. I limit the amount of carbs I eat for medical reasons. Anytime I'd order something with bread, rice, fries, pretzels, croutons, tortillas, dessert, etc, he'd be the one to get it. I got into this habit and didn't think anything of it, other than the food wasn't going to waste. I didn't realize that this meant he was eating his entire meal PLUS my assortment of carby goodies. Don't even want to think about the calories! I stopped the second he said he wanted to lose weight.

    I also make an effort to never say things like, "Just one bite won't hurt" or "You don't need to lose anything else." I feel that if a person makes a decision to lose weight, that's their business and I will not stand in their way. They tell me they're doing a specialized diet like low carb, vegan, or whatever else, I will make sure I'm not standing in their way of those diets. I think a diet is a personal choice that should be respected. I hate it when people try to sabotage me so I'd never do it to someone else!
  • csuhar
    csuhar Posts: 779 Member
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    Nope. Not at all.

    I have, however, occasionally used them for the "turkey theory": Whenever you have a goal you're doubtful you can reach, look around and find someone who's progressing towards or who has already achieved the same goal, then tell yourself "if this turkey can do it, *I* can do it."
  • Tedebearduff
    Tedebearduff Posts: 1,155 Member
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    Some horrible people out there to do that to someone... wtf is wrong with people ...
  • Isakizza
    Isakizza Posts: 754 Member
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    Tend to only sabotage myself :frown:
    I'm actually very supportive to all my friends and family who try to better their lives.


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  • tech_kitten
    tech_kitten Posts: 221 Member
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    Tend to only sabotage myself :frown:
    I'm actually very supportive to all my friends and family who try to better their lives.

    I'm guilty of self-sabotage SO much! I get to a point where I've screwed up for the day and then say to myself "oh well, if I eat horribly the rest of the day, it doesn't matter because I have already failed". I know I have to get out of that cycle, but I haven't figured out how to make that happen for ME. Telling myself that I'm ok, just do what you're supposed to, just does not work on those days.
  • tech_kitten
    tech_kitten Posts: 221 Member
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    Some horrible people out there to do that to someone... wtf is wrong with people ...

    I know! And congrats on the 152 lbs lost! You are amazing!
  • breeshabebe
    breeshabebe Posts: 580
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    I've never set out to sabatage someone... but I have enabled someone to justify my own enablement. For example, a friend says shes seriously craving pizza and donuts but probably shouldn't have them. I reallyyy want pizza and donuts also....so I'll kinda laugh it off like... "wellll...... we can work out tomorrow?" And then both of us feel justified for eating pizza and donuts. It's not that I set out to sabatage her, I just feel like less of a loser than if I ate it all alone.
  • aarondnguyen
    aarondnguyen Posts: 270 Member
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    Never.

    But I have, however, lost a few friends when I got increasingly serious about being consistent with my diet.

    People come and go.
  • kassiebby1124
    kassiebby1124 Posts: 927 Member
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    I've never set out to sabatage someone... but I have enabled someone to justify my own enablement. For example, a friend says shes seriously craving pizza and donuts but probably shouldn't have them. I reallyyy want pizza and donuts also....so I'll kinda laugh it off like... "wellll...... we can work out tomorrow?" And then both of us feel justified for eating pizza and donuts. It's not that I set out to sabatage her, I just feel like less of a loser than if I ate it all alone.
    I do that sometimes lol. And as others said, I sabotage myself to an extent. When I feel like I've made an accomplishment for the day or in the gym, I tend to overcompensate with what I eat the day after and tell myself "I'm gonna work out tomorrow so it's worth it."
  • Fenrissa
    Fenrissa Posts: 116
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    No, I've never done something like that. I'm very supportive and encouraging of when someone wants to better themselves, especially the people I love and care about. Seeing them happy makes me happy. Why would I want to stop them from feeling great?
  • nolabone
    nolabone Posts: 117 Member
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    My boss/best friend keeps leaving me "treats," just to be a jerk. haha
  • xRay85Rayx
    xRay85Rayx Posts: 369
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    ^^^ LOL That's horrible!! Omgosh!!
  • hospitablegirl
    hospitablegirl Posts: 64 Member
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    How about you just don't tell her you're trying to lose weight?

    Considering cutting your mom out of your life because she sends your care packages? Wow.

    Not quite. What I meant is that when someone tries to sabotage your efforts at anything in life, it's better to suck the poison out of your life. I'm not going to hide the fact that I'm trying to live a healthier lifestyle, because I would like to inspire my family to join me on this path. I think what someone wrote earlier could be correct though. Maybe she is concerned that I'm limiting myself too much. I know that she means well, but it isn't helpful to have that much tasty chocolate in the house.
  • starrylioness
    starrylioness Posts: 543 Member
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    Wanting to sabotage someone doesn't make them your friend...it makes them someone you don't care about.

    And no, I've never done that or wanted to do that.
  • jennifer_417
    jennifer_417 Posts: 12,344 Member
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    Thanks for your input everyone. Now I'm gonna vent about my roommate. I don't care if she loses weight. She weighs less than me already (my body fat is lower though. Thanks weights!) but the thing that bothers me is that she complains about it. B*TCH I'M FAT TOO. Shut up. If she complained and did something about it, I'd support her more but she complains and sits on her *kitten*. When she does work out, she eats afterwards which is more than she burned off. I want to be supportive and happy for her and if she asks me something I'll give her advice, but I can do much if she continues her habits then complains about how things fit and how she's gained weight.

    This reminds me of a friend I used to have...she was literally a size 2, and would complain all the dang time about how fat she was! I was a size 16ish (which I am finally just now back down to) at the time. One day I turned to her and said, (not meanly), "If you think you are fat, you must think I'm a beached whale." She looked genuinely surprised, but STFU about it after that.

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