Stop demeaning female bodybuilders
Replies
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Ever noticed when someone meets a woman how quickly they say: You look great!
It is as if the first thing we feel we can judge about a woman openly is her appearance.
Sad, but true.
But it is always the first impression a person gets......you do not meet a person and know them right away.0 -
Ever noticed when someone meets a woman how quickly they say: You look great!
It is as if the first thing we feel we can judge about a woman openly is her appearance.
Sad, but true.
But it is always the first impression a person gets......you do not meet a person and know them right away.
Yup. It's the same for men, they just don't comment on it. We don't read minds, we see people.0 -
I lift weights next to a natural female bodybuilder, and all I want to do is stare at her. I am not anywhere near her league of lifting, my piddly little weights don't compare to what she deadlifts. Her form, her dedication, her amazingly ripped back...I have appreciation for all of that. I see people stare at her, and I get defensive lol I don't have enough in my to put that much dedication into the sport, but I sure love watching her squat
and i'm a hetero female. I keep saying "you go girl" in my head.
Love this! I'm trying to get to that level.0 -
I don't like the use of the words "disgusting" or "gross," but let's face it; there is no way to say you don't find those body types attractive without coming across as demeaning or critical or negative. And I realize these competitors are not driven by what other people find attractive, but that is the heart of this piece ... "You think this is gross, but let me tell you how hard they work ..." Well, that's beside the point. Nobody is saying they don't work hard.
I know the author of this piece is talking about comments like the hurtful terms above or equating a female bodybuilder to a man, and certainly I agree with her on those points. But there is also a budding "If you don't find this attractive, go F yourself" sentiment in this community, and that's not right either. I respect anyone for working hard to achieve a goal, but I'm allowed to like what I like without apology or defense.
You're right. There's also no nice way to tell a super thin person or super fat person that you don't find their body type attractive without coming across as negative. Telling someone you don't like how they look is unnecessary. If they didn't ask your opinion there is no need to give it. Like what you like without apology or defense, but don't feel the need to share it if you aren't asked.0 -
I don't like the use of the words "disgusting" or "gross," but let's face it; there is no way to say you don't find those body types attractive without coming across as demeaning or critical or negative. And I realize these competitors are not driven by what other people find attractive, but that is the heart of this piece ... "You think this is gross, but let me tell you how hard they work ..." Well, that's beside the point. Nobody is saying they don't work hard.
I know the author of this piece is talking about comments like the hurtful terms above or equating a female bodybuilder to a man, and certainly I agree with her on those points. But there is also a budding "If you don't find this attractive, go F yourself" sentiment in this community, and that's not right either. I respect anyone for working hard to achieve a goal, but I'm allowed to like what I like without apology or defense.
You're right. There's also no nice way to tell a super thin person or super fat person that you don't find their body type attractive without coming across as negative. Telling someone you don't like how they look is unnecessary. If they didn't ask your opinion there is no need to give it. Like what you like without apology or defense, but don't feel the need to share it if you aren't asked.
Absolutely!!!
I am not physically attracted to obese people.
I am not physically attracted to exceptionally lean and un-muscled people.
I'm not exceptionally attracted to red heads- or exceptionally short people either.
There is nothing offensive about it- it's an opinion- and I'm not demeaning anyone.
If someone finds offense at it- that's on them not me- because it's NOT an offensive statement. It certainly CAN be- but just that statement alone is not offensive.
It is also not how I reject someone's advances. That only comes up when we are having discussion bout what I find physically attractive. Otherwise it's not relevant to any conversation and doesn't need to be shared.
I think it's a common topic to discuss what turns someone's knobs as far as features- hell even I talk about chicks *kitten*- it's almost a running joke- I like butts (I also cannot lie about this). It's almost like talking about the weather- the issues is that it's okay to talk about what you like- but not so much about what you don't like- public perception has pushed "fat shaming" and "fit shaming" into a whole new world of offenses- that sometimes- just are not offensive.
My personal opinion doesn't have to be offensive unless I go out of my way to make it so- otherwise- you're just taking it to be offensive when it really has nothing to do with you (generic you)0 -
I agree about not being demeaning towards anyone, regardless of their bodies. Calling someone's body "disgusting" is really, really rude, and I associate that kind of thing with internet trolls.
Needless to say, that goes both way. Overweight people shaming those who are thin, thin shaming the obese. Slim women shaming female bodybuilders, and female bodybilders referring to just about everybody as "not in shape".
I don't dislike female bodybuilders at all, but I have experienced a few times that they are critical of others and have a low bar for calling others "skinnyfat". Some love to promote the "strong is the new skinny" and how health is more important, although some appear to be obsessed. Sometimes it's accompanied by random commandments, telling strangers over social media to "lift properly girls!"
In a discussion about weight goals one fitness woman gave me a strategy as to minimize my body fat. I wrote that I wasn't really interested in going below 18% and that 22-23% was fine by me. It then turned into a discussion where I felt like I had to defend my goal, and the simple reason is that I think a woman's body is more attractive with a bit more fat on it, and secondly, that going down to 18% bodyfat, a woman's fertility gets compromised. These are really just facts, but I was called "hateful".
I am fine with whatever other people want for their own bodies, as long as they are fine with me handling mine. One person's goal is not everybody's goal, and that's ok.
Well said!0 -
I think stop demeaning people period is a good idea.0
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How about people just have sufficient self esteem so that when people say mean things it doesnt matter anyways.
Some people will never stop being mean, they like it.
Other people unintentionally hurt others feelings, but are still good people.
At the end of the day all we can do is worry about our own actions and how we react to these things, because worrying about trying to contol other peoples actions, words and thoughts is pointless and to be honest not anyones job.0 -
Indeed.How about people just have sufficient self esteem so that when people say mean things it doesnt matter anyways.
Far too much time and effort seems to go in to stopping people being "offensive", when to my mind, it would be much better to teach people to live their lives without being "offended"
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One of the aspects I really appreciate about lifting is that I'm defining my "great" as strong, fit and capable. As opposed to what a lot of society defines as "great" for a woman: young and skinny.
Once you start lifting (or at least it was this way for me), I became in charge of my "great",
There are lots of offensive terms that are no longer acceptable (terms used to describe people of different races, ethnic backgrounds, and sexual orientation) and I, for one, am glad that people protested and made them unacceptable. These aren't "just" words, they come with attitudes and prejudices.0 -
I agree that people should just be confident in themselves and most bodybuilders are. It's hard to shame a fit person. I think it's also completely unnecessary to be an *kitten* and make rude comments. To parrot your words, it would be much better to teach people to just stopped being rude for no reason.
Indeed.How about people just have sufficient self esteem so that when people say mean things it doesnt matter anyways.
Far too much time and effort seems to go in to stopping people being "offensive", when to my mind, it would be much better to teach people to live their lives without being "offended".0 -
I agree that people should just be confident in themselves and most bodybuilders are. It's hard to shame a fit person. I think it's also completely unnecessary to be an *kitten* and make rude comments. To parrot your words, it would be much better to teach people to just stopped being rude for no reason.
Indeed.How about people just have sufficient self esteem so that when people say mean things it doesnt matter anyways.
Far too much time and effort seems to go in to stopping people being "offensive", when to my mind, it would be much better to teach people to live their lives without being "offended".
Yep0 -
The problem comes when I come along and say "oh, I feel offended by what you've just said in your conversation" regardless of who you were talking to or how it was intended.To parrot your words, it would be much better to teach people to just stopped being rude for no reason.
While people need to remember that "the internet" is a public place, others also need to remember that as with other public places, they may 'over hear' people's opinions that they dislike.0 -
People should try not to be offended or whatever else they think or feel. But, people think and feel things, so they should be able to do whatever they need to do to manage it for themselves. None of your business. Move along if it offends you when you see them having a conversation about an article about female body builders for example and saying "my opinion is that I don't enjoy seeing people insult body builders". Instead of engaging with them about how they are wrong to think that and should watch insults without having opinions. Because an opinion apparently means offended.
If someone chooses to be rude or an *kitten* or whatever then try not to be offended by others responses or thoughts on it or try not to always engage everyone in annoying conversations over it. If you choose to be an *kitten*, don't be so offended by other people saying so.
Or just do whatever. Be annoying. Get in annoying conversations. Who the hell cares what other people think or feel (those things are usually temporary anyway). Why is everyone on an annoying mfp mission to control and change and teach everyone else to think and feel in ways they find acceptable. It's not offensive. It is dull, tedious, and annoying.
I'm sure some internet yoda will feel the need to teach me something about thoughts, emotions, internet.0 -
I agree that people should just shrug off most things especially if it isn't aimed at them. I also think people should just not be *kitten*. We shouldn't tell kids to stop having opinions. We also shouldn't have to tell kids to always suck it up. It's a balanced approach in not "blaming the victim" and teaching others to have a bit of respect for people. People need to learn to have confidence and people need to stop being jerks.
The problem comes when I come along and say "oh, I feel offended by what you've just said in your conversation" regardless of who you were talking to or how it was intended.To parrot your words, it would be much better to teach people to just stopped being rude for no reason.
While people need to remember that "the internet" is a public place, others also need to remember that as with other public places, they may 'over hear' people's opinions that they dislike.
Granted, if someone is listening in on a private conversation and gets offended it is their fault. Going back to what the original link posted was about these people are going out of their way to make rude comments. We have lots of examples here on our site of this. It isn't limited to bodybuilders. Skinnyfat, annorexic, obese (especially when the bb.com trolls take over).
http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/1200416-why-do-so-many-female-body-builders-get-fake-boobs0 -
Be respectful.
You can think what you will, but be respectful.
Be kind.
You can have your own opinions but remember that it isn't just about you, there is someone on the receiving end of those comments who deserves as much kindness as you do.
I always tell our DS: It isn't who they are or what they do...it is what kind of person you want to be. How you chose to act is who you become.0 -
Be respectful.
You can think what you will, but be respectful.
Be kind.
You can have your own opinions but remember that it isn't just about you, there is someone on the receiving end of those comments who deserves as much kindness as you do.
I always tell our DS: It isn't who they are or what they do...it is what kind of person you want to be. How you chose to act is who you become.
Nice post. 0 -
People should just mind their own business.
We are all different. That's what makes us great.0 -
We have lots of examples here on our site of this. It isn't limited to bodybuilders. Skinnyfat, annorexic, obese (especially when the bb.com trolls take over).
I want to add some clarification to this part of my post. I am not calling someone skinnyfat. I am saying that on this site many people use the term skinnyfat in a negative way to describe others and demean the way they look. Please stop sending private messages calling me a horrible person for saying someone is skinnyfat.0 -
Wow. I read it as you intended without clarification.We have lots of examples here on our site of this. It isn't limited to bodybuilders. Skinnyfat, annorexic, obese (especially when the bb.com trolls take over).
I want to add some clarification to this part of my post. I am not calling someone skinnyfat. I am saying that on this site many people use the term skinnyfat in a negative way to describe others and demean the way they look. Please stop sending private messages calling me a horrible person for saying someone is skinnyfat.
There seem to be a lot of people around here who don't know how to read ...0 -
I like your posts usmcmp. Sorry to hear people are sending you pm's like that.0
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Maybe I should have used as many derogatory names as I could remember from this site?0
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We have lots of examples here on our site of this. It isn't limited to bodybuilders. Skinnyfat, annorexic, obese (especially when the bb.com trolls take over).
I want to add some clarification to this part of my post. I am not calling someone skinnyfat. I am saying that on this site many people use the term skinnyfat in a negative way to describe others and demean the way they look. Please stop sending private messages calling me a horrible person for saying someone is skinnyfat.
seriously?
there was nothing that needed clarification.
random anonymous person- go home. you're wrong- 100% wrong.0 -
We have lots of examples here on our site of this. It isn't limited to bodybuilders. Skinnyfat, annorexic, obese (especially when the bb.com trolls take over).
I want to add some clarification to this part of my post. I am not calling someone skinnyfat. I am saying that on this site many people use the term skinnyfat in a negative way to describe others and demean the way they look. Please stop sending private messages calling me a horrible person for saying someone is skinnyfat.
seriously?
there was nothing that needed clarification.
random anonymous person- go home. you're wrong- 100% wrong.
Looking at this thread I think I know who sent it. This person often misunderstands things like that in the forums, as I have seen before. Say the word skinny and she thinks you are judging and jealous.0 -
We have lots of examples here on our site of this. It isn't limited to bodybuilders. Skinnyfat, annorexic, obese (especially when the bb.com trolls take over).
I want to add some clarification to this part of my post. I am not calling someone skinnyfat. I am saying that on this site many people use the term skinnyfat in a negative way to describe others and demean the way they look. Please stop sending private messages calling me a horrible person for saying someone is skinnyfat.
seriously?
there was nothing that needed clarification.
random anonymous person- go home. you're wrong- 100% wrong.
Looking at this thread I think I know who sent it. This person often misunderstands things like that in the forums, as I have seen before. Say the word skinny and she thinks you are judging and jealous.
No. The two people that sent messages are in this thread, but it isn't the person you are thinking of.0 -
We have lots of examples here on our site of this. It isn't limited to bodybuilders. Skinnyfat, annorexic, obese (especially when the bb.com trolls take over).
I want to add some clarification to this part of my post. I am not calling someone skinnyfat. I am saying that on this site many people use the term skinnyfat in a negative way to describe others and demean the way they look. Please stop sending private messages calling me a horrible person for saying someone is skinnyfat.
seriously?
there was nothing that needed clarification.
random anonymous person- go home. you're wrong- 100% wrong.
Looking at this thread I think I know who sent it. This person often misunderstands things like that in the forums, as I have seen before. Say the word skinny and she thinks you are judging and jealous.
No. The two people that sent messages are in this thread, but it isn't the person you are thinking of.
Oh wow!0 -
doesnt' matter- still lame- she had nothing but good logical positive things to say.
no need for hate mail- that is just so over the top.
haters gonna hate though.0 -
I'm not exceptionally attracted to red heads.
Awwwwww Jo.
I thought we had a chance.. 0
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