SERIOUS BINGE EATING PROBLEMS?

kuolo

Restricting food intake can lead to binge eating that doesn't stop when you are no longer restricting. Bulimia is usually triggered by a diet or restriction of some kind, especially in young people as your brain is more likely to respond to the threat of starvation in a certain way when you're young. Bulimia includes activities like laxative abuse, restriction or exercise to compensate for a binge, you don't have to be throwing up to be bulimic.

You have a serious eating disorder, you need to get help with this as soon as you can. It's not just the eating is your associated thought patterns and behaviours. Get in touch with the relevant eating disorder association in your country and ask them for advice. Go to the doctor and get on that waiting list. Read self help books. Talk to your local community mental health team if you're in the uk. It doesn't sound like your family realise the seriousness of your situation. This is not going to go away on its own.

However, with appropriate support and your own hard work you can and will get through this. Eating disorders of any kind are very destructive and consuming, your feelings and behaviours around it are not unusual, but you can recover, especially if you get help sooner rather than later.

I went through something not that different to what you are experiencing at a similar age to you. It's how you deal with it now that's important. I hope things get better for you soon.

_HeartsOnFire_

What is ACE?
Thank you,

Jul7312

gypsy_spirit

What is ACE?
Thank you,

Jul7312

Someone cleaned this thread overnight. :drinker:

sheshe32

I was you at the same age. I looked ok, so no one really knew my torment. Do you have a close friend or sibling? I agree you need some therapy of some sort. I'm now 17 years down the track and never had help. I am obese but struggle everyday still with the starvation or binging or binge/purge. So because I never had help, I still struggle. I really feel for you. I hear you about not wanting to be around people, people seeing you, thinking they are judging you. I had a family member come here recently and go on about how worried he was about my weight snd the the had never seen me so big. That when I was younger I looked great... I got mad snd said, well I was sick! Without mentioning it's still happening off and on even though I am bigger now. The pain is so hard to get past to be/feel healthy again.

Please get help. You are amazing. If you don't get it now, it will always be a struggle. Add me if you wish or feel free to message me if you just need to chat. Take care x

TDKAPS

I was you at the same age. I looked ok, so no one really knew my torment. Do you have a close friend or sibling? I agree you need some therapy of some sort. I'm now 17 years down the track and never had help. I am obese but struggle everyday still with the starvation or binging or binge/purge. So because I never had help, I still struggle. I really feel for you. I hear you about not wanting to be around people, people seeing you, thinking they are judging you. I had a family member come here recently and go on about how worried he was about my weight snd the the had never seen me so big. That when I was younger I looked great... I got mad snd said, well I was sick! Without mentioning it's still happening off and on even though I am bigger now. The pain is so hard to get past to be/feel healthy again.

Please get help. You are amazing. If you don't get it now, it will always be a struggle. Add me if you wish or feel free to message me if you just need to chat. Take care x

Wow, that sucks I feel for you also. It sucks how people don't realise how much their comments hurt.
I will get help but since i have to wait, i'm just going to find other people to at least try and talk to about it..
Thanks for your support x

Paveenag

I highly suggest you research something called If It Fits In Your Macros (iifym). This is what helped me to stop binging. Every day, you log your food and have a set amount of carbs, fats, and protein to reach before going to bed. You do NOT restrict! As long as you're hitting your macros every day, you can eat as you please (try to make it at least 70% healthy/clean foods and the rest is any kind of fun foods you desire ) Its just important to stay within your carbs and fat grams for the day.

You should be eating WAY WAY more than 800 calories.. Sure its very possible to lose weight that way but you have experience with that and went back to binging didn't you? IIFYM is a LIFESTYLE, not a temporary diet plan!

Calculate your daily macronutrients on iifym.com and pick "maintain" as your goal, I wouldn't do the "weight loss" but it's up to you.

Don't count the calories, count the carbs fats and protein It'll help, I promise

michellelipton16

BEEN THERE! And everywhere else. I was bulimic, then anorexic, and a compulsive overexerciser and although I never binged without throwing up, I still managed to gain significant weight at certain times and it was terrible. I'm the same height as you and I'd venture to say I got close to 160 (I wouldn't look at a scale but I was in a size 12!!!) after being 115 for a long time (and that's TINY on me, my body fat was only 9.6%). I STRUGGLE with this, even now that I'm back in a size zero because I have experienced the weight gain, the out of control eating, etc. Even though I ended up anorexic again recently, I was basically starving myself, working out like 3-4 hours a day and absolutely stuck at 140 lbs. That's not huge for us, but if you want to be skinny, that's your choice and whatever the number says, if you're uncomfortable, it's your feeling. I got to Anorexic and Bulimic Anonymous and Overeaters Anonymous all the time. I have a sponsor who is skinny as a rail and she's a compulsive eater and anorexic. Lots of girls in OA are thin and lots of girls in ABA are not. One theory that might help you is that sugar and flour are addictive and abstaining from them will prevent cravings. I know I need LOTS of ongoing support and I still don't do my food plan correctly (it's part of our recovery program). My sponsor would kick my butt if she saw what I was eating but I am hitting my macros and eating more calories than I ever have. Please feel free to send me a message if you want to talk more or need advice. A therapist is good, but I have had dozens, been to 10 rehabs, and the 12 step program seems to work the best. Plus it's alot cheaper to go to a meeting than a therapist, especially if you need to go alot and you'll meet tons of people you can relate to. I hope to hear from you and I'll be thinking of you. Get it under control now. I'm 28 and have had an ED since I was 10!

patriciapowerswilliamson

Wall of text...

ljmena

Hello, OP!

Lady, my heart goes out to you and the struggle that you are undergoing right now. Where you are now and the road to recovering is rough, but so worth it. From your responses I can see that you are a fighter, and you are already taking so many good steps to begin getting rid of these thoughts!

I wrote a lot...so if you only read one thing, read point number 2.

I'm a binge eater/bulimic myself (since I was 15...I'm currently 26). I am largely recovered, but I relapse every now and again when life goes unexpectedly (currently in the middle of a relapse at the moment). I mention this because there are a few things that I have learned through all of this that I would like to share with you to think on, maybe. I do and use everything that I mention below.

1. You likely know, but the binging and restricting is all a symptom of underlying issues. From your responses, it seems as though depression and OCD are some things you have struggled with. So while I know thoughts of your body and food are overwhelming your brain at the moment, they are symptoms of the other issues. Definitely get your health in order, but to be able to maintain your progress, consider what those other issues are and address those as well. Whenever I relapse, as I have now, I realize that there is something sitting in my mind that is bothering me that I need to address. The disorder is the last (and rather overpowering) sign of inward stress.

2. Have compassion toward yourself. I can't stress this enough. You are going to trip up. You won't be "perfect" every day (...or many days sometimes). Compassion is not saying "It's fine that I'm doing this." Compassion is recognizing that you are distressed and wanting to help yourself to do better in the next moment, the next day, and so on. Have endless compassion for yourself.

3. As everyone recommends, if you can get counseling, that truly is best. It doesn't even have to be specifically an eating disorder counselor, if seeing one who specializes in it takes too long to fit in their schedule. Any counseling will help you begin to really learn and address what is swirling in your head that makes you turn to food and weight to distract and numb yourself.

4. Practical suggestions: Get as much rest as possible as your body is quite taxed at the moment. Rest will help your thinking and can assist in alleviating some binge behavior. Recognize the times of day or stresses that cause your binge behavior, and try to rest or sleep instead. It's pretty much just an avoidance tactic, but sometimes, that's all you can do. Also, try to set up a simple task (that is in no way related to food or exercise) that you have to do before you eat anything. Such as read two pages of any book, write a paragraph or two of whatever is in your mind, or just sit still for one minute. This may not prevent the binge at first, but if you do this consistently, it will begin to really increase your awareness and gives you this small moment to realize what you are about to do and possibly deviate from the intended.

5. Projecting thoughts is the hardest part of getting out and being around people. You imagine what others are thinking (They knew I would "fail". They are looking at me because I am "fat". They are thinking why can't I "control" myself.), and this paralyzes you into not going out. You figure if they don't see you, then they won't "think" those things at all. So, let's ignore the fact that they aren't thinking these things. But you are thinking them. If you are alone, or if you are with people, you are thinking them. Being alone doesn't stop these thoughts, but at least being with people can create memories, support, enjoyment, and life experiences. Going out will still be super overwhelming, but if you feel a bit stronger on any given day, and think about this line of reasoning, sometimes it's that extra nudge to get you out the door, especially since it sounds like you miss your family.

6. Some possible good news! As difficult as this is now, you are going to come out of this with so much more self-awareness, particularly for being 19. You will realize just how strong a person you are, and you will learn what motivates you and how you can best handle situations in life. The disorder is awful, the journey is hard (and possibly quite long...which is why compassion is important...you'll burn yourself out otherwise), but you are going to have some pretty cool realizations along the way, and you'll realize that you're a really cool human being.

I have the utmost hope for you and your future. You are beautiful in every way, and food and weight have nothing to do with that. I know you'll be able to go back to school! And have a job! Life is full of interesting challenges, and there are so many ways to grow. It seems like you really want all of this, and reaching out was a great idea.

Take care, my friend! You are welcome to message me any time if you have a question or just some thoughts to get out.