When did it hit you that you weren't fat anymore?

sparklelioness

I used to weigh 262 lbs. I was overweight for about ten years, steadily gaining each year until May of 2012 I said enough, started walking and tracking calories with MFP, and started dropping lbs.

Right now I weigh about 155 (my tracker is a little off because I don't adjust my weight if I gain, only if I lose. I was 151 a couple weeks ago but with TOM almost here and indulging a bit the last couple days I'm up a few lbs. When I hit 150 I"ll update my weight again. It's just how it works best for me.

ANYway. I saw an old friend last night I hadn't seen since my heavy days and he said "I literally would not have recognized you walking down the street. You look great". And I thanked him, but I didn't *feel* it, you know? I still saw myself as chubby, partly because I still have a tummy, I was very large so my stomach was stretched quite a bit and it is turning out to be the last thing to go... but also because I was fat for so long that it was just part of my identity.

And then I went to pick up philly cheesesteak for dinner (it was free day, I get one a week), and had to use the ladies room. They happened to have a huge mirror in the bathroom, like, three people could stand side by side and see themselves in it. I have a full length mirror at home but it's narrow, and it's in an awkward location in the house - it's not that great of a mirror. I look in it every day and see a chubby girl, who's lost a lot of weight, yes, but still the chubby girl.

But in this huge mirror in this bright bathroom, I saw a girl with shapely, toned legs, and hips that are totally proportionate to her body size. I saw a girl who has a little bit of a tummy, but I wouldn't call that girl chubby. She actually has a bit of an hourglass figure. And it finally hit me -

I'm almost there.

I've been struggling with motivation these last few months - so close to goal, looking so much better, LIFE is so much better, that it's harder to find the impetus to go work out than it was when I was 200+ lbs and unhappy and fed up. But after seeing myself in that mirror last night, I suddenly have ALL my motivation back. Because you know what? I look GOOD, and I finally realize and can own that. I DID it. I lost the weight. I need to let go of my inner fat girl and get back to just being me.

Has anyone else struggled with body image like this after losing a lot of weight? Or was it easy to see the new skinny you as "you"?

wonderbeard101

This is something that I continue to struggle with. For me, at least, the mental aspect of health and fitness has been by far the hardest part. I suppose that there will always be a part of me that feels "fat," but the days where I feel that way are getting fewer every year as I keep improving.

You've done an amazing thing, and you have every reason to feel confident and amazing. You've put in a ton of work and you've come a long way. It sounds like your head is just catching up :-)

randomtai

Still working on it, mentally. :ohwell:

Mia_RagazzaTosta

I'm still waiting for that moment.

waldo56

I was standing on a corner waiting for a light to change to cross the road on my lunchtime walk, cars whizzing by, with my hands on my hips, and it occurred to me that those people whizzing by did not see a fat person. I could feel my hip bones and the fact that I wasn't thick anymore.

TheSlorax

I'm still waiting for that moment.

I'm still technically fat but yeah, still waiting to feel less so. I legit asked my sister this weekend if my mirror made me look smaller than I am because I just cannot compute

Sovi_

I am waiting to hit that. But I I recently started fitting into Junior plus. I am no longer stuck at shopping at the BIG girl stores. Which helps my wallet.

seltzermint555

I loved this post!! Thanks for posting it.

I am still big, at 186 lb, size 14, but this is the smallest I have been in over 20 years!! I am down 120 lb from my heaviest weight of 307 (my MFP start weight in March of 2013 was 262).

But I do feel similarly. I am starting to feel like an average sized person, instead of the heaviest or largest person in any given situation (which I often was in the past).

Walking with my husband who is tall, fit & rather lean, I used to feel so dumpy & frumpy, even though I am also quite tall. Late last summer when I was down to about 220-ish lb I remember catching our reflection in the windows of a store as we passed, and being shocked to see two tall, average looking people. Not a hot guy and fat me. But two people who looked rather similar and a bit athletic even! That was a surreal yet cool experience. I have the same thought sometimes lying next to him in bed and realizing my legs look a lot like his, which is great because he has long lean & muscular limbs.

The way I fit into the world around me has long been my favorite weight loss related NSV. Restaurant booths, office chairs, and more recently ROLLER COASTERS are comfy and roomy when they used to be a tight and/or uncomfortable fit.

I try not to compare myself to others, but sometimes it can't be helped. The other day I was walking down a city street and noticed a couple of women who were similar to my former body shape/size and while OF COURSE I didn't think badly of them or of their looks (they were attractive ladies) I thought, "How weird that I probably look more like that woman over there!" looking toward a woman in a fitted workout ensemble who admittedly had some bulges and rolls, as do I, but was closer to my current size. It's taking some time for me to realize that is not wishful thinking but I'm already there...I am the size of the woman in the tight bicyclist shirt with a bit of belly pudge. For some people that's a bad thing but for me it's awesome!

applecheeksaz

Yes, but it is weird! I forget sometimes I am fat I was always skinny then got in a car accident and gained weight. Now that car accident was years ago so no excuse for today's weight. I weigh 250 after losing almost 45lb and most days feel really good about my self. Then I will see a picture and go omg who is that and that is when it hits me I'm fat. I know it sounds crazy but it is the truth I'm lucky I'm tall and curvy so the weight is portioned out well. But I would love to be at 150. So con grads and enjoy where you are in life I hope to be there someday to

MapleFlavouredMaiden

I'll let you know when it happens. Old mental patterns are hard to break.

_JPunky

I'm still waiting for that moment.

I'm still technically fat but yeah, still waiting to feel less so. I legit asked my sister this weekend if my mirror made me look smaller than I am because I just cannot compute

I don't think realize how gorgeous you are! Seriously, I would NEVER think fat when I look at you!

kristenE118

This is a very motivating post. I sure hope I can comment more one day. ; ) I'm 262, down from 273.5. I will get there! I want to ride roller coasters with my boys, chase them, sit in plastic outdoor chairs without worrying if they will break (eeeeeks! embarrassing!), go to the pool with them and not worry, etc. Thanks for the motivation!

Duggie54

Still waiting to get there but I am down 2 pants sizes and am buying large shirts instead of XXLs.

suziepoo1984

I think most of us struggle with this. When i was heavier, i did not think i actually was that heavy. Just looking at snaps would make me shocked to realize, i indeed was fat!
Its opposite now. I do not realize i am much smaller..i still feel the same as i was when i was heavy. I met a couple friend last night and they could not stop gushing over how great i looked. It was such a pleasant surprise, because i felt the same way i did when i had last met them
I still see myself as a chubby girl and not sure if i will ever feel normal, but i am ok with it:)My hubby thinks i am beautiful(now and when i was heavier) and thats all that matters to me!
I lost my weight only because i love dancing and as i lost weight, it made it much more comfortable to dance better

thomaszabel

I never categorized myself as obese, fat, overweight, etc as I lost weight. I just knew I weighed more than I should - by about 60 pounds.

Set a goal for weighing 160 lbs, which was what I pulled up as being right below the midpoint of "healthy weight" according to BMI charts.

Now that I hit that number, and am maintaining, I figure I'm not fat.

silver_arrow3

I think if I'm ever able to make my stomach less wide than my hips... That's when I think it will finally register. Problem is, I have NO hips. I wear size 6 (at least on the bottom - 10 in a dress), so I think I'm a bit average versus the size 14 I was, I just don't SEE it.

BeingKevin

I still see myself as a 450+ pound man. I still avoid crowded areas that I might not fit in, inspect every seat/chair I use to see if I think it will hold me, and break into a sweat when somebody mentions the word “booth.” After I realize I can squeeze through a crowd, or fit in a chair, or sit in a booth, I smile realizing my life has changed. But it only lasts for an instance and the next time those same feelings return. I am not sure when or if that will ever change.

laurenawolf

I was sitting in my car itching my knee or something, and I noticed how different my legs felt. They felt so much more lean and that's when it hit me! One of the best feelings in the entire world.

andibenoit

I'm down to a 10/12 from a 24/26 and still dodge away from things or won't walk between cars because I expect to run into stuff. I realize that I'm down to "normal" sizes, but with the extra skin and stuff, I'm still working on the emotional component of FEELING average sized. I'm also always totally fascinated when I feel muscle where it just used to be bulge... I find myself rubbing my collar bone because it's such a new thing to me.

1PatientBear

I'm still waiting for that moment.

I'm still technically fat but yeah, still waiting to feel less so. I legit asked my sister this weekend if my mirror made me look smaller than I am because I just cannot compute

I don't think realize how gorgeous you are! Seriously, I would NEVER think fat when I look at you!

Something you should be saying while looking in a mirror JP.