Agree to Disagree and Move On...don't get hostile to posters

FP4HSharon

Check your attitude...I've posted on the forums fairly regularly in the past, mainly to help those who are asking questions. Even met some nice MFP friends doing that. But the more I do it, the less I have a desire to do it. Due to either actual trolls, or people who don't realize they're trolls. For newbies, trolls are people who post things w/the sole goal of stirring up angry conversation. I have a thick skin, so I can take or leave what people say. Others are hurt. But no one is helped by comments like that. I try to keep an open mind, but if I disagree, then I don't feel the need to get nasty to try to convince someone to come over to my position. The tone of the forums just seems to get progressively worse, and I really feel for the newbies who are slammed just for posting a question.

If you are truly sure of your beliefs or position, then you should be able to agree to disagree. You shouldn't take it as a personal attack that someone has a different opinion...and lash out at them. If you can't have a civil discussion without posting nasty, angry, or name-calling comments...then you have a problem. Whether it's anger, self esteem issues, or both. Take a look at your past posts...if it seems you're always getting rude w/someone, then maybe the problem isn't everyone else.

These days I mostly post and leave. Try to help someone w/a comment, but rarely go back to the thread, because it's just not worth messing w/the negativity. And a note for the newbies...if someone gets rude on one of your posts...you're not alone.

Acg67

Check your attitude...I've posted on the forums fairly regularly in the past, mainly to help those who are asking questions. Even met some nice MFP friends doing that. But the more I do it, the less I have a desire to do it. Due to either actual trolls, or people who don't realize they're trolls. For newbies, trolls are people who post things w/the sole goal of stirring up angry conversation. I have a thick skin, so I can take or leave what people say. Others are hurt. But no one is helped by comments like that. I try to keep an open mind, but if I disagree, then I don't feel the need to get nasty to try to convince someone to come over to my position. The tone of the forums just seems to get progressively worse, and I really feel for the newbies who are slammed just for posting a question.

If you are truly sure of your beliefs or position, then you should be able to agree to disagree. You shouldn't take it as a personal attack that someone has a different opinion...and lash out at them. If you can't have a civil discussion without posting nasty, angry, or name-calling comments...then you have a problem. Whether it's anger, self esteem issues, or both. Take a look at your past posts...if it seems you're always getting rude w/someone, then maybe the problem isn't everyone else.

These days I mostly post and leave. Try to help someone w/a comment, but rarely go back to the thread, because it's just not worth messing w/the negativity. And a note for the newbies...if someone gets rude on one of your posts...you're not alone.

LOL, it's funny that those often called rude or trolls here are the ones posting factual information countering the non stop nonsense that pops up around here.

ItsCasey

I think it is mostly about the attitude of said "newbie." A lot of them come in here like this place didn't exist before yesterday and those of us who have been around for years couldn't possibly have come to the right conclusion about anything. That will earn a person some hostility.

I don't advocate being rude when it isn't warranted, but this IS the Internet. If you're going to post a question in a public forum, you need to be prepared for the fact that you may get responses from some rude people who can't believe you have the audacity to not know everything. You're not going to make the situation better for yourself by throwing a fit about it. Just ignore those people, and move on.

ninerbuff

Many people can't take criticism and identify it as a personal attack on them. Not to mention that "reading" a post in a "tone" they believe is "mean" just fuels their ire.
I always say that they should go back and read the post as if someone was talking "monotone" and offering solid advice, then respond.
Oh and then there's SCIENCE. Trumps most arguments.

A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness industry for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition

jonnythan

Sorry, it's not really my thing to leave false information and terrible advice just sitting there unchallenged.

kgeyser

I'm confused….by moving on, does that mean creating entirely new hostile posts like this one lecturing everyone else on how to behave online?

Holly_Roman_Empire

Check your attitude...I've posted on the forums fairly regularly in the past, mainly to help those who are asking questions. Even met some nice MFP friends doing that. But the more I do it, the less I have a desire to do it. Due to either actual trolls, or people who don't realize they're trolls. For newbies, trolls are people who post things w/the sole goal of stirring up angry conversation. I have a thick skin, so I can take or leave what people say. Others are hurt. But no one is helped by comments like that. I try to keep an open mind, but if I disagree, then I don't feel the need to get nasty to try to convince someone to come over to my position. The tone of the forums just seems to get progressively worse, and I really feel for the newbies who are slammed just for posting a question.

If you are truly sure of your beliefs or position, then you should be able to agree to disagree. You shouldn't take it as a personal attack that someone has a different opinion...and lash out at them. If you can't have a civil discussion without posting nasty, angry, or name-calling comments...then you have a problem. Whether it's anger, self esteem issues, or both. Take a look at your past posts...if it seems you're always getting rude w/someone, then maybe the problem isn't everyone else.

These days I mostly post and leave. Try to help someone w/a comment, but rarely go back to the thread, because it's just not worth messing w/the negativity. And a note for the newbies...if someone gets rude on one of your posts...you're not alone.

I think the bolded part should be directed at noobs asking questions on the forums, not those giving advice. I'm sorry, but a lot of refutation comes from experienced people on here with facts, not a difference of opinions.

Yes, some people can be rude about giving facts. It's the internet. A lot can be learned by just using the search function or Google instead of starting a thread and subjecting yourself to rude comments (if it's something that really bothers you). My advice? Add a friend on here or message people questions that really seem to have their *kitten* together.

1PatientBear

Oh look. A bully thread in disguise. :huh:

runfatmanrun

Oh look. A bully thread in disguise. :huh:

I think you just called the OP a bully (kidding)...but it doesn't matter, according to her, she's not checking back here anyway to see what kind of discussion, either positive or negative, she has stirred up.

Unknown

This content has been removed.

jonnythan

I just looked through about 3 years worth of Facebook pictures of this friend. He has jeans on in every single one of them. They're underneath coveralls, cave suits, or drysuits in some of them. But they're there.

odusgolp

robertdc50

I think it is mostly about the attitude of said "newbie." A lot of them come in here like this place didn't exist before yesterday and those of us who have been around for years couldn't possibly have come to the right conclusion about anything. That will earn a person some hostility.

I don't advocate being rude when it isn't warranted, but this IS the Internet. If you're going to post a question in a public forum, you need to be prepared for the fact that you may get responses from some rude people who can't believe you have the audacity to not know everything. You're not going to make the situation better for yourself by throwing a fit about it. Just ignore those people, and move on.

As one of those relative "newbies", I would like to point out that until we've gained some insight by reading lots of forum posts, we don't really know who's really basing their posts on fact and who's just blowing smoke. I've seen lots of opinions presented as facts, and until we learn to know the difference, some tolerance would be appreciated.

jonnythan

By "Agree to Disagree and Move On" do you mean "Start a thread because someone disagreed with me"? Because that's what you just did.

For what it's worth you were right in that thread you were previously in.

"Publicly complain about people and tell them what to do" is OP's version of "move on and don't get hostile."

EddieHaskell97

cebreisch

Yes, there are trolls, but there are also those who just either lack communication skills to "soften the blow" or just don't care if they come across as a troll or being rude.

There have been plenty of posts I've thought, "Why on EARTH would ANYONE consider doing THAT to try to lose weight??!!!!" But I censor myself a bit and try (operative word = TRY) to tell the person that I'm not sure that's the best way to go and things to consider that they may not have thought about....things that may not interest me about those particular things.

It's all about spin.

firstsip

Happy Cinco de Mayo!

devil_in_a_blue_dress

I think the best way to avoid hostility is tell people what to do and how to act.

Check yourself, indeed.

1princesswarrior

Many people can't take criticism and identify it as a personal attack on them. Not to mention that "reading" a post in a "tone" they believe is "mean" just fuels their ire.
I always say that they should go back and read the post as if someone was talking "monotone" and offering solid advice, then respond.
Oh and then there's SCIENCE. Trumps most arguments.

A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness industry for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition

It's too bad some people don't believe science because it's cool

Mia_RagazzaTosta

I check my attitude often. I have to make sure it stays intact.

delicious_cocktail

Check your attitude...I've posted on the forums fairly regularly in the past, mainly to help those who are asking questions. Even met some nice MFP friends doing that. But the more I do it, the less I have a desire to do it. Due to either actual trolls, or people who don't realize they're trolls. For newbies, trolls are people who post things w/the sole goal of stirring up angry conversation. I have a thick skin, so I can take or leave what people say. Others are hurt. But no one is helped by comments like that. I try to keep an open mind, but if I disagree, then I don't feel the need to get nasty to try to convince someone to come over to my position. The tone of the forums just seems to get progressively worse, and I really feel for the newbies who are slammed just for posting a question.

If you are truly sure of your beliefs or position, then you should be able to agree to disagree. You shouldn't take it as a personal attack that someone has a different opinion...and lash out at them. If you can't have a civil discussion without posting nasty, angry, or name-calling comments...then you have a problem. Whether it's anger, self esteem issues, or both. Take a look at your past posts...if it seems you're always getting rude w/someone, then maybe the problem isn't everyone else.

These days I mostly post and leave. Try to help someone w/a comment, but rarely go back to the thread, because it's just not worth messing w/the negativity. And a note for the newbies...if someone gets rude on one of your posts...you're not alone.

Naive, inflammatory, arrogant, rude, redundant, counterproductive bull****.

Unknown

This content has been removed.

deksgrl

*goes off to read prior thread*

Okay, I'm back.

Asking for proof or clarification for the information offered = rude ?
Disagreeing = rude ?
Trying to correct wrong information = rude?

I saw no rudeness or hostility in the thread at all.

PRMinx

diannethegeek

You know, the more I try to answer questions on these forums the less desire I have to do it, too.

But it's mostly because I'm tired of being called a mean, hostile, ignorant, negative, bully, troll.

Every single helpful poster on these forums is labeled as a mean person eventually.

So keep fighting the good fight and get us mean people off of your boards.

I'll be looking for a good plateau thread to post in. There should be 80 or 90 of them to choose from by now.

FraggleRockerFitnessLover

This never gets old to watch, thanks!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Derpes

DamianaKitten

There is a strong difference between people having a difference of opinion, and correcting people who are wrong.

If someone is running around posting crap advice (like the woman saying VLCD diets were just fine a few days ago), it is not an "attitude" when people called her out on it.

Me saying that pineapple is gross, and someone saying that it's divine, is a difference of opinions. If I, or the other poster, got hostile with "you're just a damn moron!" type of comments, that would be over the line. Although, pineapple is gross.

Perhaps, if you want to discuss people playing nice and "checking their attitudes" you should not create such a hostile first post.

DamianaKitten

*goes off to read prior thread*

Okay, I'm back.

Asking for proof or clarification for the information offered = rude ?
Disagreeing = rude ?
Trying to correct wrong information = rude?

I saw no rudeness or hostility in the thread at all.

What I've learned on MFP: People who can't support their opinions believe anyone that asks them to, or offers a different opinion (especially when that opinion comes with citations and research) are just big mean poopy heads who just get off on being meanies to people.

:huh:

_Zardoz_

In for the Popcorn

calibriintx

Is this you agreeing to disagree, or moving on?