Husband dieting is disheartening!

greentart

I... what?

#1.) Can't you be happy for him? He wants to be healthy and lost 7 lbs. Isn't that GOOD? Don't you want your husband to be healthy?

#2.) You've lost 30 lbs... that's nothing to just sneeze at, ya know.

#3.) You NEVER eat crap? I'm going to call BS on this one. Your diary is empty most days, and you even state on your front page that you "have a busy social life. Which ruins my diet every time I go out." which sounds to me like you DO eat crap and just don't want to admit it.

If my fiancé suddenly wanted to get in shape, I'd be the first one there to support him and exercise with him. It's really weird to me that you view him as competition instead of a part of your new healthy life.

SugaryLynx

I... what?

#1.) Can't you be happy for him? He wants to be healthy and lost 7 lbs. Isn't that GOOD? Don't you want your husband to be healthy?

#2.) You've lost 30 lbs... that's nothing to just sneeze at, ya know.

#3.) You NEVER eat crap? I'm going to call BS on this one. Your diary is empty most days, and you even state on your front page that you "have a busy social life. Which ruins my diet every time I go out." which sounds to me like you DO eat crap and just don't want to admit it.

If my fiancé suddenly wanted to get in shape, I'd be the first one there to support him and exercise with him. It's really weird to me that you view him as competition instead of a part of your new healthy life.

+1

greentart

This is very common for men. I don't know why, but it SUCKS that we have to work so hard at it and they can just cut out sodas or beer or something and drop 20 lbs quickly. We are made differently unfortunately. Keep trying. You'll get there!

Yeah, everything was just handed to me, lemme tell ya. The weight loss fairy grants guys' wishes every night before bed. :huh:

Ooohhhh.... is that how it works?? I need to kidnap me one of those little b*tches.

ethompso0105

I have the same frustration--my boyfriend was quite overweight when I met him 10 years ago. The first time he started watching what he ate, he lost weight like crazy. Now he's working to lose weight again and is having success. He's lost a total of something like 75#'s. I, however, have been trying to lose weight for a LOOOOOONG time and really struggle--often I end up yo-yo-ing pretty significantly. This is life, unfortunately!

How about instead of focusing on the # on the scale, you look at overall % of weight lost (as compared to each starting weight). That may be more encouraging.

When all is said and done, though:
1) Yay...your husband is losing weight and will be healthier for your future.
2) Yay...you don't have to compete with him, but rather enjoy the journey together!

Best of luck!!!

ETA: I really am very proud of my boyfriend and his loss--I'm sure deep down you're proud of your husband, too. I sympathize that it's still not easy to see someone lose so quickly while you struggle!

Aaron_K123

I~ feel you, honeybun. Everyone in my office is trying to get into shape, seems like, and I hang out with the boys and talk about lifting and macros most shifts. One of my guy friends started lifting twice a week for the past month, hasn't really changed his diet much and... dropped eleven pounds. While I track every morsel, switch between cardio and lifting and have taken damn near three months for fifteen. It happens! Biology is a cruel thing :>

EDIT NOTE: I'm just commiserating, because I feel you! A slow and stable loss is the way to go, and no one's body is quite the same. As long as we're moving forward, we're doing fine.

Honestly to everyone saying this let me give you some insight into guys. Guys don't like to admit effort in terms of diet. Not sure why this is but it seems to psychologically be the case. That guy who "barely changed his diet much" probably said that he didn't just to be cavalier about it while secretly weeping himself to sleep everynight because he ate a piece of chocolate. A guy will talk up how hard he hit those weights while acting like he hasn't changed his diet at all to seem non-chalant about it, but if dude lost 11 pounds quickly then dude changed his diet...a lot.

If you lose weight...male or female...its because you are at caloric deficit. Men did not sometime in the ancient past make some mystical deal with a magical unicorn that allowed them to evade the laws of thermodynamics when it comes to weight loss.

Strokingdiction

I... what?

#1.) Can't you be happy for him? He wants to be healthy and lost 7 lbs. Isn't that GOOD? Don't you want your husband to be healthy?

#2.) You've lost 30 lbs... that's nothing to just sneeze at, ya know.

#3.) You NEVER eat crap? I'm going to call BS on this one. Your diary is empty most days, and you even state on your front page that you "have a busy social life. Which ruins my diet every time I go out." which sounds to me like you DO eat crap and just don't want to admit it.

If my fiancé suddenly wanted to get in shape, I'd be the first one there to support him and exercise with him. It's really weird to me that you view him as competition instead of a part of your new healthy life.

Everyone should avoid eating crap. They should stick to food no matter how happy the poo looks before taking a bite.

paulawatkins1974

I once asked mu hubs why that was and he said "just lucky I guess" To which I replied: "No you're not lucky, we are. We get to keep the hot hubs even after kids, and you end up with the fat wife" LOL

levitateme

My boyfriend and I are in this together and in the same period of time, he's lost 41 lbs to my 26.

Men have more muscle mass to start with and lose faster. I know you're upset because "it's so easy for him!" But no one ever said this would be easy. Just keep it up. Would you rather gain weight or lose weight? Think about that whenever you think weight loss happens too slow. Losing .5 lbs is better than gaining .5 lbs.

ItsCasey

I'm trying to put myself in this scenario. I think if my pretend husband were being an *kitten* about it, like rubbing my face in the fact that he's losing and I'm not or joking about leaving me for someone thinner, then okay, I understand.

But if he's just working hard and achieving his goals, he'd probably get laid a lot more because that sort of thing turns me on. I can't imagine being disheartened by it.

So I think if he's a nice guy and he loves you and he's encouraging to you, you should see past the tangible results and look at what it really means that he's putting this effort into something he wants.

sloth3toes

That guy who "barely changed his diet much" probably said that he didn't just to be cavalier about it while secretly weeping himself to sleep everynight because he ate a piece of chocolate.

That is me after an Oreo binge. Like Nash in the Longest Yard. ( The remake, not the original, REAL version )

Aaron_K123

My boyfriend and I are in this together and in the same period of time, he's lost 41 lbs to my 26.

Men have more muscle mass to start with and lose faster. I know you're upset because "it's so easy for him!" But no one ever said this would be easy. Just keep it up. Would you rather gain weight or lose weight? Think about that whenever you think weight loss happens too slow. Losing .5 lbs is better than gaining .5 lbs.

Turn that weight loss into a percent of total weight then compare percent bodymass lost. If men lose more scale weight than women its simply because most men weight more and if you weigh more then you lose more weight to change your total percent mass by the same amount.

For example a 260 pound guy is definitely going to lose weight faster than a 160 pound woman but that is because he is 260 pounds not because he is male.

Muscle does require more calorically to maintain than fat but not by very much actually, its a pretty small difference.

eaglefish

I~ feel you, honeybun. Everyone in my office is trying to get into shape, seems like, and I hang out with the boys and talk about lifting and macros most shifts. One of my guy friends started lifting twice a week for the past month, hasn't really changed his diet much and... dropped eleven pounds. While I track every morsel, switch between cardio and lifting and have taken damn near three months for fifteen. It happens! Biology is a cruel thing :>

EDIT NOTE: I'm just commiserating, because I feel you! A slow and stable loss is the way to go, and no one's body is quite the same. As long as we're moving forward, we're doing fine.

Honestly to everyone saying this let me give you some insight into guys. Guys don't like to admit effort in terms of diet. Not sure why this is but it seems to psychologically be the case. That guy who "barely changed his diet much" probably said that he didn't just to be cavalier about it while secretly weeping himself to sleep everynight because he ate a piece of chocolate. A guy will talk up how hard he hit those weights while acting like he hasn't changed his diet at all to seem non-chalant about it, but if dude lost 11 pounds quickly then dude changed his diet...a lot.

If you lose weight...male or female...its because you are at caloric deficit. Men did not sometime in the ancient past make some mystical deal with a magical unicorn that allowed them to evade the laws of thermodynamics when it comes to weight loss.

Shhhhh. Let them keep thinking it was the unicorn.. That way they won't go looking for the Elf that we really made the deal with

oxers

Honestly to everyone saying this let me give you some insight into guys. Guys don't like to admit effort in terms of diet. Not sure why this is but it seems to psychologically be the case. That guy who "barely changed his diet much" probably said that he didn't just to be cavalier about it while secretly weeping himself to sleep everynight because he ate a piece of chocolate. A guy will talk up how hard he hit those weights while acting like he hasn't changed his diet at all to seem non-chalant about it, but if dude lost 11 pounds quickly then dude changed his diet...a lot.

If you lose weight...male or female...its because you are at caloric deficit. Men did not sometime in the ancient past make some mystical deal with a magical unicorn that allowed them to evade the laws of thermodynamics when it comes to weight loss.

Yeah, I get it. (Not necessarily so much about guys brushing their effort off to make it seem easy - I really hadn't even thought of that!) I think it can SEEM much easier for men because they often have more to lose, and depending on body composition and program, may have an easier time building lean muscle while losing it, which obviously leads the observation of having an easier time losing. This is what leads ladies to making aggravated noises all over the place, I'm pretty sure. As much as I'd like to be able to take off eleven pounds in a month, that isn't safe or clever with a body like mine, esp given I only have another 25-35 to lose, max. It can be an eye-rolling moment when a tower of a guy says "weight's just magically disappearing!" but I wasn't implying that men don't have to work for it, or that a pound is somehow less than 3500 calories.

Ultimately, it's not a big deal, and I'm glad for anyone taking control of their body, myself included.

MireyGal76

your boyfriend is that much healthier, and probably even more attractive than he was.

that should be encouraging.

I love it when the person I love sets a healthy goal, works for it, and achieves it. It totally turns me on.

*note... I only added healthy.. because if the goal was to see how many pies he could eat in an hour... and spends weeks practicing... well that may not be AS much of a turn on.

iggyboo93

My husband started "dieting" (Just cut out beer and crap food) 2 weeks ago and had lost 17 lbs..ITS SO DISHEARTENING. I never eat like crap and I have lost barely anything. Its almost like whats the point? lol. I need help!

You're with friends here - my hubby joined my weight loss group to support me a couple months ago and he has lost 15 pounds so far. I am not nearly as successful. I don't hold it against him because he is my greatest cheerleader. Keep eating healthy and exercising. Suggest adding weights to your routine (I just started the ice cream 5x5). If that doesn't work, focus on where you can work on the calorie deficit. If you continue to have problems, you may have to see your doctor - there are many reasons for the slow weight loss - PCOS, thyroid issues or excessive cortisol production for starters. Keep working on this and you will see positive results. :flowerforyou:

oxers

Plus the percentage thing, which a lot of people overlook. Going off percentage, my co-worker and I are probably about sixes. It's just the PERCEPTION that it's easier for the menfolk, you know?

rsclause

When I use to drink 600 calories of beer with a diet lunch salad of 800 calories I didn't lose any weight on the weekends.That was then, now I log everything. While beer and fries puts it on quick, you need to plug in the number to MFP. Between the rapid loss of water weight and calorie reduction he may be at a deficit without knowing it. If he has a high activity level even more so. Focus on your numbers and go for the slow steady eating at a deficit. If you can change and stick to your new lifestyle you will keep it off. He can start back on the beer and pizza and gain 17 lbs. in two weeks too. Watch him on this one cuz he is going to do it. Also as he gets older it won't come off that fast anymore either.

jim180155

It doesn't seem fair. I see women struggling to lose just one pound. I, on the other hand, only have to think about losing weight and I lose 10 lbs as soon as I set the dumbbell back down.

Aaron_K123

Well that is one thing that I'd agree with, it is a lot easier for men to build lean muscle mass than women. The weight loss though being "easy" for men I have to respectfully disagree with though. Maybe we act brash and pretend its easy but its not easy and the fat doesn't care if its attached to a woman or a man it is still going to take a 3500 cal deficit to sluff a pound.

Aaron_K123

It doesn't seem fair. I see women struggling to lose just one pound. I, on the other hand, only have to think about losing weight and I lose 10 lbs as soon as I set the dumbbell back down.

Ssshhhh, if we speak about it in public the elf will take away our power.