Weight loss... and drug addiction.

PikaKnight

i know there are other ways. i've just always been about the fast track to reaching goals...

but you're right i do need to sit myself down and decide if i'd rather be clean and lose weight slowly or remain an addict who weighs less.

What you need to decide is how important your life is, as well as your health...not whether being an addict will help you with your weight loss or not.

And also, really take the time with your therapist to look at yourself. The fast road is a really short road, if you get what I'm saying.

James9090

Drug counselor.

Haha. That is a good one. A person who counsels in something they have no first hand experience in. How many of your personal friends have ODed on the same drugs this girl is messing with? I would bet zero. But how much have you profited monetarily due to the addictions and demons of others? I would bet a great deal.

You have no real, valid, first hand experience here, so why don't you allow someone who does to speak on the subject.

The truth is, there is no time for excuses. Addiction is a monster which feeds on them and leads to death. You try to get a little higher than usual, party of a little too hard one night, and you don't wake up. That is how the real world works.

I can tell that the OP is not serious about getting her stuff together. It might take dumping your boyfriend and all your druggie friends, but it is better to be alone and alive than to be dead and popular. I used to go to my dealer's house and buy my drugs as usual. I was near death. One day I called on help from my maker for the strength to quit and the will to live. I was near death. I bought drugs as usual and would bring them home and flush them down the toilet before I could do them. I would buy a bags of pot (less harmful, but still addictive) and threw them out the window as I was driving home from my dealers. I would buy needled and bongs and smash them. That is how bad I was. I wish my other friends would have did that, the ones who aren't here anymore.

So yeah, OP, you didn't respond to my message because you want a pat on the back or a shoulder to cry on. What I am telling you is to take the gun out of your mouth, because you are committing suicide right now!

1princesswarrior

Hi OP, until you can/are willing to go to inpatient treatment for everything, let's face it all of your problems go back to your weight and ED, then you need to get to a meeting (NA or AA) everyday. Find a sponsor asap, someone you can lean on. There is a lot more help out there than you realize. Go to www.nationaleatingdisorders.org/ and call someone to find out what kind of help is available.

What I am hearing from the recovering addicts is for you to be more proactive about changing your life. In fact they are all right.

I think you are close to finding the strength to face your ED. And I think once you face that and learn to see that you are a beautiful young woman and there is nothing wrong with your body then you will kick your addictions in the *kitten*. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers.

Alatariel75

Would you burn down your house to kill a cockroach? Because that's what going back to addictive drugs to lose some weight is, in effect.

SKME2013

Drug counselor.

Haha. That is a good one. A person who counsels in something they have no first hand experience in. How many of your personal friends have ODed on the same drugs this girl is messing with? I would bet zero. But how much have you profited monetarily due to the addictions and demons of others? I would bet a great deal.

You have no real, valid, first hand experience here, so why don't you allow someone who does to speak on the subject.

The truth is, there is no time for excuses. Addiction is a monster which feeds on them and leads to death. You try to get a little higher than usual, party of a little too hard one night, and you don't wake up. That is how the real world works.

I can tell that the OP is not serious about getting her stuff together. It might take dumping your boyfriend and all your druggie friends, but it is better to be alone and alive than to be dead and popular. I used to go to my dealer's house and buy my drugs as usual. I was near death. One day I called on help from my maker for the strength to quit and the will to live. I was near death. I bought drugs as usual and would bring them home and flush them down the toilet before I could do them. I would buy a bags of pot (less harmful, but still addictive) and threw them out the window as I was driving home from my dealers. I would buy needled and bongs and smash them. That is how bad I was. I wish my other friends would have did that, the ones who aren't here anymore.

So yeah, OP, you didn't respond to my message because you want a pat on the back or a shoulder to cry on. What I am telling you is to take the gun out of your mouth, because you are committing suicide right now!

+1
Stef.

karmac0matic

tbh the only drug i do now is dxm and there are no known deaths caused by it so

ya...

to go from super dangerous drugs to mostly safe, i'd say i'm taking good steps in the right direction...

the only point of this post was to ask what to do when i'm feeling the urges to use considering I DONT WANT TO ANYMORE. . . as much as i love hearing over and over that i should quit, that's exactly what i'm; trying to do! i don't need to keep hearing it! i'm seeing someone, i'm working on different mindfulness techniques so i know what triggers, what's going to keep the urges at bay, etc. as well as working on ways to lose weight that are slower.

Aaron_K123

tbh the only drug i do now is dxm and there are no known deaths caused by it so

ya...

to go from super dangerous drugs to mostly safe, i'd say i'm taking good steps in the right direction...

the only point of this post was to ask what to do when i'm feeling the urges to use considering I DONT WANT TO ANYMORE. . . as much as i love hearing over and over that i should quit, that's exactly what i'm; trying to do! i don't need to keep hearing it! i'm seeing someone, i'm working on different mindfulness techniques so i know what triggers, what's going to keep the urges at bay, etc. as well as working on ways to lose weight that are slower.

Honestly I have never heard that dextromethorphan is chemically addictive so I'd think that your "addiction" to it is a psychological one. Dextromethorphan took at high doses is not a light drug in my opinion. Anything where you lose motor coordination, hallucinate and are affected for as much as 24 hours is not something that is okay for you. I've experienced a robo-trip in my life, even had a refined version from pure dxm...I could not imagine doing that with regularity is good for you...either physically or psychologically.

I'm glad you are trying to stop. My guess is what you need is psychological support, a 12 step program might do you good.

Your weight is not even a worry that should be on your mind right now imo.

AliceDark

i just really want tips on staying away in the mean time... like, when it's the weekend and i can't call my therapist or late at night or ... days off from work etc.

I'd urge you to consider becoming involved with NA, assuming that is okay with your therapist. Depending on where you live, you can find a meeting any day of the week, and at almost any time of the day. If you find a sponsor, they can be available for support at times when your therapist is unavailable, like nights or weekends.

karmac0matic

yes i understand i shouldn't be worried about my weight but i've had disordered eating for over 10 years now, so that's not just going to change suddenly. and yes, i've been to treatment for it and it comes and goes in waves but it's always goign to be a concern of mine...

and yeah there is no scientific evidence saying it's physically addictive but when i was in the hospital for about a week, i suffered worse withdrawals from dexing than i did from oxys or heroin. so though there may not be studies done, i know firsthand that it can be physically addictive. the difference is, most people don't have the free time or money to be dexxing every day for months, whereas i did. since it takes you so out of reality, most people can't afford to do that every day. i spent months being out of it so once i stopped, i got sweats, horrible stomach pain, a never-ending cough, fever, nausea, horrible restlessness, etc. all 5x worse than any other withdrawals i've dealt with.

Sabine_Stroehm

I stopped reading a few pages ago. Here's my final thoughts: you're still abusing drugs. You still have disordered thinking about eating. I sure hope you work through the denial you're exhibiting here and make steady progress with both issues. Before it's too late. You're kidding yourself if you think you're in control.

Best of luck. Over and out.

BinaryPulsar

Until you are completely clean you are on a slippery slope right back to where you just escaped from. A little tough love is all that helps. Anything else is enabling. You need professional help first for your addiction and ED. Then, only when you are healthy, you can look at the roots of your addiction and disorder while continuing to learn healthy coping skills and tools. You are young enough to turn it around now before it destroys you in ways that you can never recover from. I understand the darkness that exists behind the addiction and disorder. Lots of love and strength to you. Go get help now.

Aaron_K123

yes i understand i shouldn't be worried about my weight but i've had disordered eating for over 10 years now, so that's not just going to change suddenly. and yes, i've been to treatment for it and it comes and goes in waves but it's always goign to be a concern of mine...

and yeah there is no scientific evidence saying it's physically addictive but when i was in the hospital for about a week, i suffered worse withdrawals from dexing than i did from oxys or heroin. so though there may not be studies done, i know firsthand that it can be physically addictive. the difference is, most people don't have the free time or money to be dexxing every day for months, whereas i did. since it takes you so out of reality, most people can't afford to do that every day. i spent months being out of it so once i stopped, i got sweats, horrible stomach pain, a never-ending cough, fever, nausea, horrible restlessness, etc. all 5x worse than any other withdrawals i've dealt with.

OP I hope you did not take offense at my post, I was not trying to trivialize what you are going through. All I meant was to suggest that I think choosing to focus on your addiction through counseling, be it a 12 step program or otherwise, might end up helping you to address both your problems...drug addiction and disordered eating. My experience with dxm was in college and was limited to a few uses scattered over a couple of years. I only mentioned that use to show that I had some experience with its effects, I have had no experience with its regular use though and I know that the hypothetical notion that it is not physically addictive even if true is going to be of little consolation to someone who is struggling with it.

Please understand that I am only urging you to seek help in your real life as opposed to on MFP. I am in no way meaning to trivialize your issues.

cocorosalie

Honey I feel you. I'm 20 now, but I was anorexic for three years and also developed a pretty serious addiction to cocaine and ecstasy. I was using anything and everything I could get my hands on. I was eventually arrested (as, I promise you, ALL addicts are at some point) and it lead to me getting clean and sober. Once I was sober, I discovered my appetite again, and started binge eating. I gained 35 pounds in 1 year, and I felt AWFUL. I wanted desperately to go back to using to lose the weight, but I am so glad I didn't have that as an option, because I educated myself about the HEALTHY and LONG LASTING ways to lose weight. I upped my NA meetings and joined a gym. Substances are quick fixes, but they do more damage than you think. Plus, I guarantee you will end up in a) jail, b) an institution like rehab or c) dead if you continue to use. Look into NA. Get some sober friends.

10 years from now you'll thank yourself for it.

cocorosalie

tbh the only drug i do now is dxm and there are no known deaths caused by it so

ya...

to go from super dangerous drugs to mostly safe, i'd say i'm taking good steps in the right direction...

the only point of this post was to ask what to do when i'm feeling the urges to use considering I DONT WANT TO ANYMORE. . . as much as i love hearing over and over that i should quit, that's exactly what i'm; trying to do! i don't need to keep hearing it! i'm seeing someone, i'm working on different mindfulness techniques so i know what triggers, what's going to keep the urges at bay, etc. as well as working on ways to lose weight that are slower.

Okay, sorry to be another broken record before. Go work out when you feel the need to use. Talk to your family. Do some yoga. Watch a movie, go on a walk, read a book, join a sports team, learn an instrument, go see a concert, get some coffee. Shaking the urge is one of the toughest things to do. Take it one day at a time girlie. I seriously think NA is the perfect thing for you.