Weight loss... and drug addiction.

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Replies

  • AtticWindow
    AtticWindow Posts: 295 Member
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  • wheird
    wheird Posts: 7,963 Member
    i know i'm rationalizing. but geez, let me take things one step at a time. i'm clean of 3 of 4 drugs i became addicted to, it's not all going to happen overnight... i'm taking steps.

    i'm not trying to not take responsibility. i understand i'm still using even if it's once or twice a week. but to have gone from using twice a day to once or twice a week is a big achievement. and i recognize it's not good for me... that's why i've cut back as much as i can right now...

    also for the person who said "stop giving a sht about your weight"... learn something about people with eating disorders before saying something so insensitive. thanks.

    To be fair, everyone was focused on the drug addiction and probably missed out on the ED issue.

    No one here is trying to be insensitive, we are all coming from a place of love.
  • baba_helly
    baba_helly Posts: 810 Member
    i know i'm rationalizing. but geez, let me take things one step at a time. i'm clean of 3 of 4 drugs i became addicted to, it's not all going to happen overnight... i'm taking steps.

    i'm not trying to not take responsibility. i understand i'm still using even if it's once or twice a week. but to have gone from using twice a day to once or twice a week is a big achievement. and i recognize it's not good for me... that's why i've cut back as much as i can right now...

    also for the person who said "stop giving a sht about your weight"... learn something about people with eating disorders before saying something so insensitive. thanks.

    You've come a long way but aren't at the end. I think you've been very brave but by making excuses you are hanging onto that last drug as a crutch. Sobriety is scary. I know. But it's also wonderful and freeing and I really hope you give yourself the chance to experience that.

    Be honest, get the help you need, and keep going. Good luck with everything.
  • Brandolin11
    Brandolin11 Posts: 492 Member
    most i can do is see a professional.

    i just really want tips on staying away in the mean time... like, when it's the weekend and i can't call my therapist or late at night or ... days off from work etc.

    With all due respect, I couldn't help but notice you've avoided the NA suggestion. Do you go? Have you been? If not, why not? If you already see a therapist, I would highly recommend going to a 12 step program (either NA or OA will do). This is where you'll benefit from some serious *live* support. Learning and practicing the 12 steps is a powerful and healing process. MFP is nice, but all we can be for you is typed-out words. Therapy is critical, but that's just one person giving you feedback. Please consider a support group. :) Good luck and thanks for entrusting us with your innermost concerns!
  • k_nicole87
    k_nicole87 Posts: 407 Member
    i know i'm rationalizing. but geez, let me take things one step at a time. i'm clean of 3 of 4 drugs i became addicted to, it's not all going to happen overnight... i'm taking steps.

    i'm not trying to not take responsibility. i understand i'm still using even if it's once or twice a week. but to have gone from using twice a day to once or twice a week is a big achievement. and i recognize it's not good for me... that's why i've cut back as much as i can right now...

    also for the person who said "stop giving a sht about your weight"... learn something about people with eating disorders before saying something so insensitive. thanks.

    Rationalizing is a part of the process. It's guilt that is causing you to want to find something "not so bad" about your drug use. It's completely normal. And in reality, it has not been that long for you. I have a client that I sent to rehab 30 days ago who spent 60 days in jail the first time and went back to use to spend another 60. She called me from rehab and is still rationalizing but she is also saying things that she has never said before like she needs to focus on her. It is a slow process. Some people do not understand. They see their family member go through it and it's hard. It's hard on everyone. But they don't know what it's like to have something like that hold onto them like drugs do. And the ones who have been there sometimes forget. They don't want people to learn the hard way and skip all of the necessary steps in between.

    I have never been an addict of anything. I had a dad who was an addict and a mom who was an alcoholic. But I see it in my office every day. I try to understand that admitting the problem is not only the first step, but the first step in a process that can take MANY years in some cases.
  • HerkMeOff
    HerkMeOff Posts: 1,002 Member
    i know i'm rationalizing. but geez, let me take things one step at a time. i'm clean of 3 of 4 drugs i became addicted to, it's not all going to happen overnight... i'm taking steps.

    i'm not trying to not take responsibility. i understand i'm still using even if it's once or twice a week. but to have gone from using twice a day to once or twice a week is a big achievement. and i recognize it's not good for me... that's why i've cut back as much as i can right now...

    also for the person who said "stop giving a sht about your weight"... learn something about people with eating disorders before saying something so insensitive. thanks.

    You're right, I missed the part about your ED, I apologize.

    My point is still the same, you have to become sober before anything else can be fixed.


    I sincerely hope that you get the help you need.
    I haven't been down the same path as you, but I am recovering from my own addiction right now.

    I went down the "I'm only drinking 1-2 nights a week now, so it's okay" phase..it's just denial....

    I wish you the best, and if you need anything, there are many of here who want to help you.
  • k_nicole87
    k_nicole87 Posts: 407 Member
    i know i'm rationalizing. but geez, let me take things one step at a time. i'm clean of 3 of 4 drugs i became addicted to, it's not all going to happen overnight... i'm taking steps.

    i'm not trying to not take responsibility. i understand i'm still using even if it's once or twice a week. but to have gone from using twice a day to once or twice a week is a big achievement. and i recognize it's not good for me... that's why i've cut back as much as i can right now...

    also for the person who said "stop giving a sht about your weight"... learn something about people with eating disorders before saying something so insensitive. thanks.

    You're right, I missed the part about your ED, I apologize.

    My point is still the same, you have to become sober before anything else can be fixed.


    I sincerely hope that you get the help you need.
    I haven't been down the same path as you, but I am recovering from my own addiction right now.

    I went down the "I'm only drinking 1-2 nights a week now, so it's okay" phase..it's just denial....

    I wish you the best, and if you need anything, there are many of here who want to help you.

    I think that part of the issue might be (correct me if I'm wrong OP) that she can't reach sobriety because of the ED. The drugs act as something that helps her lose the weight that, mentally, she feels she has to lose. It's like a double edged sword.
  • TheVirgoddess
    TheVirgoddess Posts: 4,535 Member
    thank you everyone for your kind words.

    however, i am currently seeing someone.
    i wouldn't need detox because i am not currently physically addicted. (clean for 5 months of heroin, 9 months of oxys, etc.) i don't have withdrawals when i don't use because it's infrequent now.

    rehab facilities don't really understand dxm well enough yet. not many people do. no one knows how to treat a person who feels the need to use it. so rehabS out.

    most i can do is see a professional.

    i just really want tips on staying away in the mean time... like, when it's the weekend and i can't call my therapist or late at night or ... days off from work etc.

    Have you tried exercise? After a good work out the endorphin rush is great - and it'll help you lose weight (though you're beautiful just as you are), keep yourself distracted and gives you energy. Trying going for a walk or jog maybe? I do the 7 minute workout and it's crazy intense for me - I can't hardly move when I'm done but I feel SO good after.

    Do you have a good (sober) friend you can call when you're struggling?

    You're stronger than your addiction. Good luck to you.
  • SLLRunner
    SLLRunner Posts: 12,942 Member
    My very sincere advice is to seek help from a professional for drug addiction and body dysmorphia. These are serious issues that you don't have to face alone. You are a lovely young woman, don't let drugs and disordered eating ruin your life.
    this.
    You need serious professional help.
    I also agree with this.
  • James9090
    James9090 Posts: 26 Member
    I am a former addict so i can say this.

    Cut the crap.

    If you want to live, stop doing drugs.

    If you want to die, then keep on doing them.

    It's quite simple. Cold turkey and never look back. You are the only one who can help you.
  • wonderwoman234
    wonderwoman234 Posts: 551 Member
    This is where real treatment - inpatient, followed by a halfway house, followed by sober living, comes in. Nothing changes if nothing changes. For young opiate addicts, of whom only 10% who need treatment get it, living at home in the same environment where they used, where their drug contacts are, just doesn't work very well.

    Studies show the longer someone is in structured treatment, the more successful they are at recovery. For opiate addicts, making sweeping lifestyle changes is often the only way to really become secure in recovery - and often that means not living at home and being allowed to face the consequences of their drug use.

    And the twelve steps, especially big book meetings, will help OP with what are essentially thinking and feeling problems. The substances are just a symptom.

    OP, I urge you to get more comprehensive treatment. Going to a counselor once a week isn't usually enough to get someone into recovery. NA meetings TWICE A DAY, getting inpatient treatment, living in a sober community and surrounding yourself with others in recovery is a great way to start on a new path.
  • karmac0matic
    karmac0matic Posts: 285
    thank you everyone for your kind words.

    however, i am currently seeing someone.
    i wouldn't need detox because i am not currently physically addicted. (clean for 5 months of heroin, 9 months of oxys, etc.) i don't have withdrawals when i don't use because it's infrequent now.

    rehab facilities don't really understand dxm well enough yet. not many people do. no one knows how to treat a person who feels the need to use it. so rehabS out.

    most i can do is see a professional.

    i just really want tips on staying away in the mean time... like, when it's the weekend and i can't call my therapist or late at night or ... days off from work etc.

    Have you tried exercise? After a good work out the endorphin rush is great - and it'll help you lose weight (though you're beautiful just as you are), keep yourself distracted and gives you energy. Trying going for a walk or jog maybe? I do the 7 minute workout and it's crazy intense for me - I can't hardly move when I'm done but I feel SO good after.

    Do you have a good (sober) friend you can call when you're struggling?

    You're stronger than your addiction. Good luck to you.

    i have a few good sober friends that have been really understanding and helpful, and they're finally back from college for the summer so i can see them!!

    i do work out, i get at least 30 mins in every day, ran about 2 miles today and went for a 30 minute walk as well. i love how i feel after working out but i dont have the time to just keep going ): i would if i could!
  • TheVirgoddess
    TheVirgoddess Posts: 4,535 Member
    Good!

    You really do have to decide to be done with the drug - even once or twice a week is still using. I know you don't want to hear it (because deep inside you know).

    Get a post it, write "I am worth it" and "I am more" and "I deserve it" and leave them around the house. Maybe seeing it all the time will make you start to believe it.
  • stephe1987
    stephe1987 Posts: 406 Member
    I think it's great that you've come such a long way!

    Try to figure out what your trigger is and what you can do to avoid getting into those situations where you feel the urge to use. This can go for a lot of bad habits, not just drug use. You've come so far but you still have a little way to go before you're drug-free.

    How tall are you? 95 pounds is not a realistic/healthy goal for most women, but it could work if:
    - you are 5' or shorter (95 lbs & 5' is a BMI of 18.6)
    - you are a ballerina of average height or below (the Black Swan actresses got down to 95 and they are 5' 3" and 5' 4")
    - you are a model trying to achieve certain measurements (but then you wouldn't really have a goal weight, just goal measurements, usually something like 34-24-34)

    Please be careful when setting goals. Part of recovering from an eating disorder is a healthy body image and resisting the urge to keep dieting/losing weight even after you're healthy.
  • karmac0matic
    karmac0matic Posts: 285
    i know i'm rationalizing. but geez, let me take things one step at a time. i'm clean of 3 of 4 drugs i became addicted to, it's not all going to happen overnight... i'm taking steps.

    i'm not trying to not take responsibility. i understand i'm still using even if it's once or twice a week. but to have gone from using twice a day to once or twice a week is a big achievement. and i recognize it's not good for me... that's why i've cut back as much as i can right now...

    also for the person who said "stop giving a sht about your weight"... learn something about people with eating disorders before saying something so insensitive. thanks.

    You're right, I missed the part about your ED, I apologize.

    My point is still the same, you have to become sober before anything else can be fixed.


    I sincerely hope that you get the help you need.
    I haven't been down the same path as you, but I am recovering from my own addiction right now.

    I went down the "I'm only drinking 1-2 nights a week now, so it's okay" phase..it's just denial....

    I wish you the best, and if you need anything, there are many of here who want to help you.

    I think that part of the issue might be (correct me if I'm wrong OP) that she can't reach sobriety because of the ED. The drugs act as something that helps her lose the weight that, mentally, she feels she has to lose. It's like a double edged sword.

    you are so right. and i'm nowhere near being able to even think about getting help for the eating yet so until i'm able to, it's hard for me to get my mind off that easy solution to my thought up problem... sishghhghgh
  • leantool
    leantool Posts: 365 Member
    Please please see a proper therapist,your issues are deep rooted and needs sorting out,it does not matter that,you have not done hard drugs for few months, the potential is still there.
    YOU NEED HELP FOR YOUR THINKING,all other will sort themselves out.
    "Could have been worse" does not make bad acceptable.

    God bless you and keep you out of harms way.
  • k_nicole87
    k_nicole87 Posts: 407 Member
    I am a former addict so i can say this.

    Cut the crap.

    If you want to live, stop doing drugs.

    If you want to die, then keep on doing them.

    It's quite simple. Cold turkey and never look back. You are the only one who can help you.

    Being a former addict does not give you the right to be a douche.
  • wheird
    wheird Posts: 7,963 Member
    I am a former addict so i can say this.

    Cut the crap.

    If you want to live, stop doing drugs.

    If you want to die, then keep on doing them.

    It's quite simple. Cold turkey and never look back. You are the only one who can help you.

    Being a former addict does not give you the right to be a douche.

    Being an addiction counselor does not give you insight into what they need to hear either.

    So far every former addict in here has given tough love and would have wanted the same in return.
  • k_nicole87
    k_nicole87 Posts: 407 Member
    I am a former addict so i can say this.

    Cut the crap.

    If you want to live, stop doing drugs.

    If you want to die, then keep on doing them.

    It's quite simple. Cold turkey and never look back. You are the only one who can help you.

    Being a former addict does not give you the right to be a douche.

    Being an addiction counselor does not give you insight into what they need to hear either.

    So far every former addict in here has given tough love and would have wanted the same in return.

    So if talking to someone that way who is an addict is so beneficial, how did they become addicted and stay addicted for so long? Pretty sure they all had people talk to them like that without offering the tools to beat triggers and it must have worked wonders.
  • wheird
    wheird Posts: 7,963 Member
    I am a former addict so i can say this.

    Cut the crap.

    If you want to live, stop doing drugs.

    If you want to die, then keep on doing them.

    It's quite simple. Cold turkey and never look back. You are the only one who can help you.

    Being a former addict does not give you the right to be a douche.

    Being an addiction counselor does not give you insight into what they need to hear either.

    So far every former addict in here has given tough love and would have wanted the same in return.

    So if talking to someone that way who is an addict is so beneficial, how did they become addicted and stay addicted for so long? Pretty sure they all had people talk to them like that without offering the tools to beat triggers and it must have worked wonders.

    ...

    They became addicted by doing addictive drugs. Typically they hide it. And most stay addicted for so long because they hide it effectively and/or are enabled.

    I should not have to explain this to you.
  • karmac0matic
    karmac0matic Posts: 285
    eek don't worry about it, it's all good. i get that some people show compassion in different ways. me personally, i prefer the gentle way but i understand some people get really passionate about how they think other people should change/get help/etc etc

    thanks everyone
  • k_nicole87
    k_nicole87 Posts: 407 Member
    I am a former addict so i can say this.

    Cut the crap.

    If you want to live, stop doing drugs.

    If you want to die, then keep on doing them.

    It's quite simple. Cold turkey and never look back. You are the only one who can help you.

    Being a former addict does not give you the right to be a douche.

    Being an addiction counselor does not give you insight into what they need to hear either.

    So far every former addict in here has given tough love and would have wanted the same in return.

    So if talking to someone that way who is an addict is so beneficial, how did they become addicted and stay addicted for so long? Pretty sure they all had people talk to them like that without offering the tools to beat triggers and it must have worked wonders.

    ...

    They became addicted by doing addictive drugs. Typically they hide it. And most stay addicted for so long because they hide it effectively and/or are enabled.

    I should not have to explain this to you.

    I am dying to know how offering helpful solutions to help her cope with her addiction (which as you said I should know) is somehow erroneous compared to the "just get over it" advice.
  • caesar164
    caesar164 Posts: 312 Member
    This boyfriend of yours, is he still a junky (heroin user) ? If your still with him your at risk of relapsing, and it makes it that much difficult to get clean when your with an addict... Many people O D when they relapse... Good luck to you..
  • karmac0matic
    karmac0matic Posts: 285
    my boyfriend never used heroin, but did use oxys. he has been clean since october and sees a doctor, therapist, is on suboxone, and has monthly drug tests due to a probation thing. he's been a good influence on me so far.
  • wheird
    wheird Posts: 7,963 Member
    I am a former addict so i can say this.

    Cut the crap.

    If you want to live, stop doing drugs.

    If you want to die, then keep on doing them.

    It's quite simple. Cold turkey and never look back. You are the only one who can help you.

    Being a former addict does not give you the right to be a douche.

    Being an addiction counselor does not give you insight into what they need to hear either.

    So far every former addict in here has given tough love and would have wanted the same in return.

    So if talking to someone that way who is an addict is so beneficial, how did they become addicted and stay addicted for so long? Pretty sure they all had people talk to them like that without offering the tools to beat triggers and it must have worked wonders.

    ...

    They became addicted by doing addictive drugs. Typically they hide it. And most stay addicted for so long because they hide it effectively and/or are enabled.

    I should not have to explain this to you.

    I am dying to know how offering helpful solutions to help her cope with her addiction (which as you said I should know) is somehow erroneous compared to the "just get over it" advice.

    Advice on the services that are available to her, being given by a counselor, is fine. I am taking issue with your responses to the actual addicts in the thread. By and large, the addicts who are clean are going to deliver a more hard nose message than someone who hasnt been through it. The guy you quoted, admittedly was overly harsh, but you also took issue with someone who had a hard, but much milder message.

    You are a counselor, not a sponsor.
  • ninerbuff
    ninerbuff Posts: 48,994 Member
    IMO, until you REALLY REALLY want to stop, it's going to continue. You can talk to professionals, etc., but the desire to commit to quitting it is on you.
    If you think it's what you need to lose weight, then your information is incorrect since there are thousands upon thousands of people who lose weight daily without drug use.

    A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
    IDEA Fitness member
    Kickboxing Certified Instructor
    Been in fitness industry for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
  • SKME2013
    SKME2013 Posts: 704 Member
    I am a former addict so i can say this.

    Cut the crap.

    If you want to live, stop doing drugs.

    If you want to die, then keep on doing them.

    It's quite simple. Cold turkey and never look back. You are the only one who can help you.

    Being a former addict does not give you the right to be a douche.

    Being an addiction counselor does not give you insight into what they need to hear either.

    So far every former addict in here has given tough love and would have wanted the same in return.

    So if talking to someone that way who is an addict is so beneficial, how did they become addicted and stay addicted for so long? Pretty sure they all had people talk to them like that without offering the tools to beat triggers and it must have worked wonders.

    Sorry, but I do not agree with you. That is the beauty of AA, addicts talk to addicts and they REALLY understand each other and their problems a thousand times better than you guys ever will. You have not been an addict and the only thing you know is your textbook knowledge and the outside "experience" with addicts.

    I speak from experience and 11 years of sobriety with no relaps!

    It is quite shocking how little a lot of "professionals" really understand when it comes to addiction and most doctors are worse! Sugar coating does not help at all and to tell the OP brutally honest that she is not clean and that she is NOT yet really on a way of recovery is the only thing that might help.

    If she does not have the 100% will to change her life, to admit that she is powerless over her drugs and that she is willing to do anything to get herself off them, then telling her that she is doing just fine is useless.

    Anyhow, the only advice I can give you is go to an AA or NA meeting and go there everyday until it dawns on you that you are still using and that you have to stop to get better.
    Stef.
  • karmac0matic
    karmac0matic Posts: 285
    i know there are other ways. i've just always been about the fast track to reaching goals...

    but you're right i do need to sit myself down and decide if i'd rather be clean and lose weight slowly or remain an addict who weighs less.
  • caesar164
    caesar164 Posts: 312 Member
    my boyfriend never used heroin, but did use oxys. he has been clean since october and sees a doctor, therapist, is on suboxone, and has monthly drug tests due to a probation thing. he's been a good influence on me so far.

    Thats great that he's also getting help! Oxys are the gateway to heroin... Try not to ever do oxys again! Please?!
  • PikaKnight
    PikaKnight Posts: 34,971 Member
    I am a former addict so i can say this.

    Cut the crap.

    If you want to live, stop doing drugs.

    If you want to die, then keep on doing them.

    It's quite simple. Cold turkey and never look back. You are the only one who can help you.

    Being a former addict does not give you the right to be a douche.

    Being an addiction counselor does not give you insight into what they need to hear either.

    So far every former addict in here has given tough love and would have wanted the same in return.

    So if talking to someone that way who is an addict is so beneficial, how did they become addicted and stay addicted for so long? Pretty sure they all had people talk to them like that without offering the tools to beat triggers and it must have worked wonders.

    What the guy said above is right and not in any way "douchey." Great that you are a counselor so that means you should realize that tough love is one of the best ways to actually help someone in many of these situations. Otherwise, most of the time, you end up just enabling the behaviour.