Tomboy or Girly-Girl

Cliffslosinit

Inspired by the ladies on my feed asking...
What qualities do you find makes a woman feminine?

I don't have the answer....
A lady that can just be one of the guys as well as the lady that can wear the dress is feminine to me.

P.S.
I'm a single dad with no positive female role-model in my daughters life.
So any and all info that can help me communicate with her is greatly appreciated.
(if this were to come up later with her)

firfeous

Just tell her to always be herself. That's all. People will love her for that.

Unknown

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soberlicious

Just tell her to always be herself. That's all. People will love her for that.

troooooof!!!

as long as she stays true to who she is, it doesn't matter if society sees her as more "feminine" or more "masculine" or anything in between. being a woman is so much more than being feminine. i like the parts of me that are feminine, but i also like the rough and tumble side as well. i will proudly burp and fart and snort laugh and speak my mind...even while wearing a dress and heels ironically, even though i am pretty well endowed in the boob area, i tend to cover up. not sure why. i don't like having massive cleavage for all the world to see. it's a much more private thing.

Pixi_Rex

I am a tomboy, always have been. I have a hard time relating to the overly girly girls because of it.

I think Honesty, confidence, and lack of jealousy like Bynsky said are great traits.

If you encourage her to be herself, be kind and be real she will be absolutely wonderful.

liekewheeless

I can go from one to the other in a day. It's oke not to fit in a box. Be who you want to be. You can like barbies and monster trucks.

broox80

I am a girly girl, but I tend to like more "guy" movies, and am a total rocker chick!!!

surfinbird_1981

I'm 100% a girly girl.

Galatea_Stone

Just tell her to always be herself. That's all. People will love her for that.

This. The most valuable gift you can give your daughter is self-esteem and confidence to be herself. When a woman is comfortable and happy, and has the love of a good father, it makes her more beautiful.

ew_david

I have no clue, but I'll say that I was a total tomboy until I was about 12. All I wanted to do was play baseball, get dirty, and wear boy's superhero T-shirts. I even had a boy's bike. Then I decided I could still play baseball and attempt to do something with my hair and maybe wear some clothes that came from the girls section. Now, you wouldn't even know that I was a tomboy. I still don't really like wearing dresses and being super girly, but I'm me and that's all I care about.

wheird

I like multifaceted women. I do not want one that is so rough around the edges that she cannot put on a dress when the occasion calls for it. Nor do i want one that cannot put on old jeans and paint or ride a quad.

_crafty_

Honesty, confidence, and lack of jealousy issues are in my opinion what make the best female types, no matter how they dress or behave otherwise.

^ This

And there is no right or wrong. I think I pull both off fairly well and a lot of the in between. Being versatile is a good trait to have as a woman. IMO.

k8blujay2

For me it just depends on the situation and who is around... I always prefered to play with the boys and work outside (I still do...), but can and will shop and dress up for certian occasions.

ninerbuff

Isn't just having boobs? Most of the females I've dated were athletic and wore dresses when they wanted to go out.

For me I'd be more concerned about who your daughter's pick as SO's rather than what distinguishes them as tomboy or girly girl.

A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
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Been in fitness industry for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition

miss_jessiejane

I don't know. I like to cook, and clean, and sew but I also like comics and beer and fishing. I don't wear lots of makeup, but I like pretty dresses. Most people would probably label me a girly girl though. I don't know. Labels are hard, 'cause normally they're not very accurate. I say as long as you're happy with who you are, you shouldn't worry about labels.

seltzermint555

I think of myself as squarely between tomboy and girly-girl and it's been that way from Day One. Now at 37, I have short nails because I'm always working with my hands but they're usually painted a pretty color...love to draw and write and cook and bake, but don't know how to knit or sew...adore animals and caring for friends & family but have ZERO interest in caring for plants or babies...short low maintenance hair, but a penchant for fashion...you get the point!

A woman can be whatever she would like to be. I think that's the most important thing of all. Cherish your daughter and teach her all the "man things". I was raised by both of my parents even after their divorce (when I was 12) but I lived full-time with my father and he taught me so much and I feel strong & proud to be able to swing a hammer, saw, know my way around the hardware store and how to properly throw a football or make free throws. However, I do think it's important to encourage your daughter's girly side. Compliment her appearance occasionally, tell her she is pretty or looks nice. Buy her the makeup or whatever. I am NOT saying to act like appearance or feminine hobbies & interests are MORE important than any others she has. Definitely not! That is not the sum of what makes a woman feminine. But don't let her think "that stuff is off limits to me, because I don't know much about it and/or I don't look like a Barbie girl". I hope that makes sense.

AlyssaSupernova

This question is funny to me because I am a little bit of both. I can identify myself with being both a tomboy AND a girly girl.
However society is always wanting to put me in a box by telling me that if I behave like a tomboy, I can't be a girly girl as well since it's just "weird".

I think femininity is not something you put on and wear, it's something you create.

HaibaneReki

I've always had the exact opposite problem. I was raised among all girls with a busy dad (no grudges there). Three sisters, three girl cousins, and only pal 2 years older or younger. But hey, it's a good skill to be able to relate to women. Luckily our first is a daughter :bigsmile:

_Calypso_

Your daughter should not have to mold into either category. She just needs to be herself.


I for one would be considered a tomboy with a princess complex. LOL I love to get dirty, don't mind getting sweaty, I get along better with guys - cuss like a sailor, drink good ice cold beer with a plate of hot wings and watch a good action flick!
However, I love to get dressed up, LOVE my heels (rarely see me in anything else), like to have my make up and hair done, get bi-weekly pedicures and manicures, Love to shop, drink wine and watch chick flicks.

wolfsbayne

Just tell her to always be herself. That's all. People will love her for that.

This. The most valuable gift you can give your daughter is self-esteem and confidence to be herself. When a woman is comfortable and happy, and has the love of a good father, it makes her more beautiful.

1HappyTurtleRunner

I have always been a tomboy.... I'm glad I didn't have a daughter cause I'm not sure how to relate to a girly-girl.

Honesty, confidence, and lack of jealousy issues are in my opinion what make the best female types, no matter how they dress or behave otherwise.

I am a tomboy, and I did have a girly-girl and it floors me all the time on how this happened. I do agree with the qualities that you quoted

skippygirlsmom

I'm more of a tomboy but I clean up good, and my 14 year old daughter is a perfect combo of both. Kudos to you on being a single dad raising a girl. I agree with the advice for her to be true to herself, my daughter knows she dances to a different beat then her friends and she couldn't care less. She loves who she is. Years ago when Madonna had her daugher she said something that has always stuck with me, when asked what she thought was the most important thing to teach Lourdes she said "my job is to teach her to have self respect". Later when asked what she would teach her about men, she replied "if I teach her self respect, I'll never have to teach her anything about men". So true, so true. If our children, not only girls, love and respect themselves the rest will be much easier.

ETA: keep in mind Dad YOU are her male role model to see how men should treat women and she will follow accordingly. She learns her first lessons on men from you. :-)

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tlcarolinagirl

Just tell her to always be herself. That's all. People will love her for that.

This, for sure!!!!

I am a little of both. Depends on where I'm going/what I'm doing. I play basketball and softball and run in mudruns and can get down and dirty with the guys and be a tomboy....BUT, I can also wear a sundress and sandals and be a girly girl whenever...I just generally do it with bruises and scrapes from my various sports and mud runs. :laugh:

DamePiglet

Just tell her to always be herself. That's all. People will love her for that.

true.

also...
BLUE WAFFLE??? EPIC!!!!!!!! :drinker: :drinker: :drinker: :drinker:

greenmonstergirl

Tomboy...just look at my ticker. Bows/guns/motorcycles...yeah...tomboy!

MelisMusing

I'm a bit of both. I can get dirty, but I'm down for a mani pedi spa day at a moments notice. I tend to not fit in with the cliquey girl crap that happens, like everywhere though, because I don't fall solidly in either category.

At the end of the day, it's important to do your own thing.

PennyM140

Tell her it is ok to be either one or both. It is rare that a woman is an extreme example of one without the other. Of course we all know a version of each that we could make an example of, but for the most part women are very flexible. Tough when we need to be, dainty when we want to be.

ELMunque

I was always a Tomboy while I was growing up, all of my friends are guys who aren't entirely sure if I'm a really female (if it weren't for the boobs and what nots) but as an adult, my husband likes me in dresses, so I wear dresses often enough, make up and nails somewhat did, but I still enjoy playing with the boys, and not so much with other chicks. Anyways, I'm very tomboyish and I have 2 boys and 4 girls. 3 of my girls and 1 of my boys are very girly, don't know where they get it from but your kid will figure herself out too.

AtticWindow

Well, there's more than two things a woman can be, so. :noway:

Learn to shoot a gun. Do it in a dress. Who cares. Girls are raised with insidious social concept that feminine = bad (boys, too, to a different, but not necessarily lesser, extent), so why not encourage both and not listen to rhetoric about how hard it is to deal with "girly girls" as though there's only one way to be: "girly" or "not girly." The "I'm not like other girls, I like/play/do (insert random activity that probably a good percentage of 3+ billion other women also like/play/do)" phrasing gets wicked tiring.

miss_jessiejane

I don't know. I like to cook, and clean, and sew but I also like comics and beer and fishing. I don't wear lots of makeup, but I like pretty dresses. Most people would probably label me a girly girl though. I don't know. Labels are hard, 'cause normally they're not very accurate. I say as long as you're happy with who you are, you shouldn't worry about labels.