Tomboy or Girly-Girl

2

Replies

  • msf74
    msf74 Posts: 3,498 Member
    Just tell her to always be herself. That's all. People will love her for that.

    This. The most valuable gift you can give your daughter is self-esteem and confidence to be herself. When a woman is comfortable and happy, and has the love of a good father, it makes her more beautiful.

    tumblr_inline_muhh0b6jYu1qkbblf.gif

    hCE0A3D97
  • devil_in_a_blue_dress
    devil_in_a_blue_dress Posts: 5,214 Member
    Honestly, don't stress too much about labels and encourage her not to, if the topic comes up. She will gravitate what she gravitates toward and no singular thing or really, even group of things will define her - because people are complex - a sum of of all their parts. I guess what I am saying is, it's not tomboy "or" girly-girl.

    This girl works on cars during the day:
    xgm4x.jpg

    This girl photographs weddings on the weekends:

    1zwlx06.jpg

    They are both me.
  • sillygoosie
    sillygoosie Posts: 1,109 Member
    I'm sitting here in a dress and full makeup, picking at a road rash scab. I have no idea what I am, and I think it's great.
  • George_Baileys_Ghost
    George_Baileys_Ghost Posts: 1,524 Member
    EDIT:
    I totally responded based solely on the title without reading the OP.

    Occasionally, I haz a derp.
  • _Pseudonymous_
    _Pseudonymous_ Posts: 1,671 Member
    Just tell her to always be herself. That's all. People will love her for that.

    This. The most valuable gift you can give your daughter is self-esteem and confidence to be herself. When a woman is comfortable and happy, and has the love of a good father, it makes her more beautiful.

    I totally agree with this. I think self-respect and self-confidence are important factors to what makes a woman feminine. If she has those things then she can walk around with confidence and do amazing things, whether it's working on cars, playing sports, or dressing up in a slinky classy dress. These things help her to be who she is and know who she is. If you love your daughters, teach them and show them their worth, and give them the freedom to be themselves then I think you will be one fine Dad. :happy: :flowerforyou:
  • gothchiq
    gothchiq Posts: 4,590 Member
    As far as my appearance, I am as feminine as they get. I wear dresses almost exclusively, I make sure my shoes are cute, I have long hair, and I wear makeup. However, my personality partakes a lot of dudely qualities lol. I'm very direct, I don't mind working on my own car, I hate romantic comedies and love Beavis and Butthead. I don't wait for men to make the first move (just ask my husband!)

    So anyway I feel that people have some sort of combination of "feminine" and "masculine" qualities that is unique to them, and that we should learn to understand ourselves and what makes us tick, be true to that, and love ourselves for who and what we are.
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  • Kekibird
    Kekibird Posts: 1,122 Member
    I happily balance a bit of both. Was a tomboy growing up but slowly, over the past 3 years, I've become more girly.
  • Junken__Diraffe
    Junken__Diraffe Posts: 102
    Like most, I like to think I'm a perfect mix of the two! I love fishing, camping, mud runs, working out, and can fart with the best of them! I watch chick flicks, read chick lit, sew, bake, crochet, and cook. I love sweats and dresses. I cry like a girl but am tougher than most guys.

    I honestly hope my daughter shares most of these qualities as she grows up. Maybe minus the farting, but she's already established a pretty great reputation that way...
  • SoDamnHungry
    SoDamnHungry Posts: 6,998 Member
    Just tell her to always be herself. That's all. People will love her for that.

    Yup. I'm not a Tomboy or a girly girl. I've never felt like I needed to classify myself as either.
  • sheepysaccount
    sheepysaccount Posts: 608 Member
    Just make sure she has principles she sticks to. Make her care for the world and others. But also make sure she can stand up for herself. I don't know how old your daughter is, but there are so many great role models out there. One she might know is Emma Watson. After (presumably) being set for life due to Harry Potter she still went to an Ivy League school because education is important to her. She also supports several humanitarian organizations AND she's a designer for a fair trade clothing line.


    Also...Basically this:

    FEMALE_ROLE_MODELS_sm.jpg?t=1339988349
  • princessofredrock
    princessofredrock Posts: 382 Member
    I was a jeans and t-shirt, tree and rock climbing girl till I met my hubby to be 24 yrs ago and he said he liked skirts! lol I went out and got some the next day!

    I am both girly and tomboy! Versatile, ever changing and growing!

    I color my hair, get my nails done, dig in the garden with them and climb mountains!

    Help your daughter to be the best her she can be! There are no limits or set parameters!

    :smile:
  • slk_5555
    slk_5555 Posts: 177 Member
    Best she just be herself & be confident.

    I'm a bit of both I think. I can often be found operating the warehouse forklifts, whilst dolled up to the nines. If i'm driving the forklift and a male customer comes in they tend to look a little wary (often ask if I need help) - it makes me smile. Sometimes its fun to look like a girly girl and act like a tomboy.
  • Lofteren
    Lofteren Posts: 960 Member
    As long as they have self esteem issues and don't know their father. They're mine...
  • shoneybabes
    shoneybabes Posts: 199 Member
    It shouldn't be how girls look but their attitudes and capabilities. Make sure your daughters are strong independent women that can look after themselves. Alot of people do not know how to be resilient. Teach them strength to cope with what life throws at them. Being girly or sporty makes no difference at the end of the day if they are unhappy. They will find their own path.
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  • rml_16
    rml_16 Posts: 16,414 Member
    Inspired by the ladies on my feed asking...
    What qualities do you find makes a woman feminine?

    I don't have the answer....
    A lady that can just be one of the guys as well as the lady that can wear the dress is feminine to me.

    P.S.
    I'm a single dad with no positive female role-model in my daughters life.
    So any and all info that can help me communicate with her is greatly appreciated.
    (if this were to come up later with her)
    It really comes down to her personality. My mom is not particularly feminine in the traditional sense and I'm VERY different from her even though she was always there. My daughter is more like my mother than she is like me.

    Just get to know your daughter as a person and communication should be perfectly easy.
  • QueenBishOTUniverse
    QueenBishOTUniverse Posts: 14,121 Member
    Don't worry too much Dad. It was just me and my father from age 3 to age 6 and he managed not to cause too much damage. :tongue:

    I was raised on every 80's style shoot 'em up movie in existence and definitely lean far towards the tomboy end of the spectrum, but I can still manage to pull off a dress and make-up if I need to. Still working on the heels though.....:grumble:

    As several people have already said, just encourage her to be herself above all else. Try to find some common interests to share and tell her how awesome she is and I'm sure you'll both be fine.
  • histora
    histora Posts: 287 Member
    Let your daughter define her femininity. The biggest impact you will have is your acceptance, or not, of how she defines herself.

    You're a good dad for thinking ahead, but please don't over think it. And don't box her in to a gender role for fear of screwing up or being a bad gender influence.

    Good luck. :)
  • _Pseudonymous_
    _Pseudonymous_ Posts: 1,671 Member
    Also...Basically this:

    FEMALE_ROLE_MODELS_sm.jpg?t=1339988349

    Love this! Except...

    Take out Dazzler, add in Leslie Knope. Also add Zoe from Firefly.

    I like strong women.

    Zoe is already on there. How about Kaylee... I love me some Kaylee...
  • dym123
    dym123 Posts: 1,670 Member
    Just tell her to always be herself. That's all. People will love her for that.

    This. The most valuable gift you can give your daughter is self-esteem and confidence to be herself. When a woman is comfortable and happy, and has the love of a good father, it makes her more beautiful.

    tumblr_inline_muhh0b6jYu1qkbblf.gif

    Love me some Ms. Lauryn Hill, also so true. I am neither a tomboy or girly girl, I'm just me.
  • Cliffslosinit
    Cliffslosinit Posts: 5,044 Member
    Thank you....I totally let her be herself.
    No judgements here.

    I do my best to keep the lines of communication open as well.

    She stated to me yesterday it is "weird" for her to talk to "her dad" about a lot of things. (boys)
    I'm here for her though....she is my everything!
    Thanks!!!
  • rml_16
    rml_16 Posts: 16,414 Member
    Thank you....I totally let her be herself.
    No judgements here.

    I do my best to keep the lines of communication open as well.

    She stated to me yesterday it is "weird" for her to talk to "her dad" about a lot of things. (boys)
    I'm here for her though....she is my everything!
    Thanks!!!
    It isn't much easier to talk to one's mother about boys, either. We don't like to think of our parents as people, especially when we're kids and teens.
  • sillygoosie
    sillygoosie Posts: 1,109 Member
    Thank you....I totally let her be herself.
    No judgements here.

    I do my best to keep the lines of communication open as well.

    She stated to me yesterday it is "weird" for her to talk to "her dad" about a lot of things. (boys)
    I'm here for her though....she is my everything!
    Thanks!!!

    Glad she has you. It's equally important to have a strong male figure in her life. A good daddy is everything to a girl. My daughter's dad never talks to her about anything of importance. He just lets her down all the time.
  • ItsCasey
    ItsCasey Posts: 4,021 Member
    If a girl is happy, it doesn't matter if she's one or the other. I can imagine it's tough for a dad to navigate this alone, but I think the worst thing you can do is try to force her into one category or the other (e.g. raising her like a boy because that's all you know or forcing her to be a girly-girl because you think that's what she "should" be). She will probably naturally gravitate toward tomboy or girly-girl and still have a little bit of the other mixed in. And she may drift toward the other end of the spectrum as she grows up.

    I'm going to go against the politically-correct grain and say that I do think the concepts of femininity and masculinity are more concrete than most people are comfortable admitting. The differences are not just anatomical. But a woman doesn't HAVE to be feminine, nor a man masculine, to be loved and accepted, and I think most people have at least some characteristics that do not fit the stereotype of their biological sex anyway.

    If I had to pick one label or the other, I would call myself a girly-girl. The way I dress and my general demeanor are very feminine. I pretty much only wear pants when I'm doing something that shouldn't be done in a skirt or dress. I only curse when I'm really pissed about something. I have very nurturing instincts. At the same time, I lift a crap ton of weight and take a lot of pride in being physically strong. I love sports. I prefer action movies to chick flicks. I do not shy away from conflict or expressing my opinions without solicitation or any particular concern for offending anyone. I don't consider the latter attributes and inclinations to be particularly feminine since feminine energy is, by nature, meeker and more reticent, but I also don't think those things detract in any way from my overall femininity.

    Similarly, my dad is a very masculine man. He's also a crier and very openly emotional, and while that's not particularly masculine, it doesn't make him less of a man.

    As long as we are not saying one is preferable to the other, then I don't think it matters. I think people can only reach their full potential for happiness when they are allowed and encouraged to be who they are.
  • SunofaBeach14
    SunofaBeach14 Posts: 4,899 Member
    Thank you....I totally let her be herself.
    No judgements here.

    I do my best to keep the lines of communication open as well.

    She stated to me yesterday it is "weird" for her to talk to "her dad" about a lot of things. (boys)
    I'm here for her though....she is my everything!
    Thanks!!!

    Damn, do I like this post
  • George_Baileys_Ghost
    George_Baileys_Ghost Posts: 1,524 Member
    Thank you....I totally let her be herself.
    No judgements here.

    I do my best to keep the lines of communication open as well.

    She stated to me yesterday it is "weird" for her to talk to "her dad" about a lot of things. (boys)
    I'm here for her though....she is my everything!
    Thanks!!!

    You sound like a good dad, bro. I've got one on the way, and my whole plan is to teach her to be as smart, strong, and fearless as possible. I don't really care if she goes princess or cage fighter....though I'm not gonna lie...a daughter who is a cage fighter (and physicist) would be pretty bad *kitten*.

    The only thing I can say is try to give her a good balance between structure and freedom, as well as the tools to make the most of both.
  • devil_in_a_blue_dress
    devil_in_a_blue_dress Posts: 5,214 Member
    Thank you....I totally let her be herself.
    No judgements here.

    I do my best to keep the lines of communication open as well.

    She stated to me yesterday it is "weird" for her to talk to "her dad" about a lot of things. (boys)
    I'm here for her though....she is my everything!
    Thanks!!!

    Honestly, it would be weird for her to talk to her mom too (would have been for me, anyway and I have a decent relationship with my mother). She might not realize that if she doesn't have a motherly figure. If anything, maybe you could check into activities that she is interested in where she could develop a relationship with an adult female.
  • yungibear
    yungibear Posts: 138 Member
    One of the things I've learned about myself is that I'm somewhere between a "tomboy" and a "girly-girl." My dad didn't believe in forcing gender roles upon me in the form of telling me what was "feminine" and what wasn't. He taught me to rollerblade, tinker with gadgets (taking them apart), play softball, and work with wood. When I told him I wanted to skateboard, he looked a little apprehensive, but just told me to wear my helmet when I practiced. He also knew how to sew, cook, and take photos, so he taught me that stuff too. Basically, he didn't hold back trying to teach me all the things he knew!
  • NS81
    NS81 Posts: 192 Member
    I think meeting somewhere in the middle is my goal for my daughter... (and son, actually!) I grew up in the country, so riding 4-wheelers, fishing, getting dirty was all the "norm" for me. I also love flowers, shoes, and braiding my daughters hair...

    My daughter (6) is learning how to be a strong woman that can do anything she wants with her life if she works at it - she loves bugs, mud, plays t-ball and wears frilly pink tutu skirts...

    My son (4) loves to wrestle, play football and superheroes, but has a baby doll that he takes care of as though it were a real baby...

    Shoot for well rounded, confident in who they are, and respectful! :wink:

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