RANT POST: I am NOT too skinny!

RaspberryKeytoneBoondoggle

You are perfect!
This is what I often hear from family: " you are so LUCKY to have a fast metabolism" and "look at her! It's not FAIR."
Ha! If only they knew!

neandermagnon

Some people just don't know how to convey a compliment appropriately, there is no need to be upset.

To be fair "stop working out you're too skinny" isn't really a clumsy compliment, it's a guilt trip/accusation as much as "stop eating, you're too heavy" would be.

"you look skinny" or "wow look at you twiggy" or "work those curves" are more clumsy compliments. She's got fair reason to be pee'd off and MFP forums is an appropriate place to vent. *shrugs*

That would depend on the delivery and the person. I've gotten this before and it was most certainly meant to be a compliment. To some people, being skinny can only be a positive thing and they don't understand why you would be offended. They also don't understand why anyone would work out if they didn't want to get skinnier. Exercising purely for fitness isn't really on their mental radar.

^^^ I think this is correct...... a lot of people think that the only reason to exercise is to get thinner. And they think being called "skinny" is a compliment (which it is a lot of the time... although I think words like "slim" or "slender" are much nicer and if you want to give someone a compliment for looking slim, then say slim or slender, not skinny).

And I agree very much that whether something is a compliment or an insult or banter depends far more on tone of voice, body language, etc than it does on what's actually said. So it's really impossible to judge on an internet forum when someone says something like "so and so said

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to me" whether it's an insult or not because we weren't there. A lot of what gets posted on here as things said that are supposed to be insults, don't come across as insulting to me, more as slightly awkward compliments or innocent comments that are a little lacking in tact... but there's an extremely fine line between an awkward compliment and a sly insult, and the difference is in the tone of voice, body language, the look in their eyes, etc, not the words. And then there's banter, which is a completely different issue... there are many things said to me in banter by friends that would be an extreme insult coming from a total stranger. (I'm from London where banter and taking the p*** is a form of social bonding).

BinaryPulsar

Two years ago I lost 5 pounds. A family member first told me how amazing i looked and then told me that everyone was worried about me (it was actually a long and difficult conversation, but I think she was drinking). I just saw her again (two years later) and she finally realizes that I am the same size for two years, same size I always was, healthy. Whatever...family is challenging to deal with in many many ways.

Francl27

You are perfect!
This is what I often hear from family: " you are so LUCKY to have a fast metabolism" and "look at her! It's not FAIR."
Ha! If only they knew!

Well at least mine will never tell me that, as they've seen me before, lol.

NuWaveFitness

if it makes you feel any better im 5"9 and 133

nyiballs

I hate the phrase, "you don't need to lose any more weight."

Unless it comes from your doctor, or MAYBE your significant other, just ignore it. Nobody knows what is best for you, except you.

The problem only arises if you do have any eating disorder or something of the like. So... I'd give yourself two qualifications for that... If your bmi is under 22 and people hold an intervention, then maybe listen. Otherwise... Screw em.

Charocheris

I think it happens to everyone. People told me when I should stop losing weight and I nodded and ignored them. I was annoyed that they thought my weight was their business.
You've mentioned that some of your family members are larger... Now I am not saying this as fact but your achievement may be shining a light on something that they know they need to do and their comments are coming from a defensive place. Sometimes it is that people are simply not accustomed to see you so slim and it's odd. That's an area of growth for them. If you are able to vocalise it without starting world war 3 let them know that you have your own goals which you are happily pursuing. Otherwise just say nothing and keep being healthy :-))

HeidiMightyRawr

Urgh not only do I hate people giving their unsolicited opinion on what I look like / what I should look like, but even more than that I hate the assumption that everyone works out to be skinny or lose weight!

I have 2 options you could try:
1) Don't talk to anyone about your workouts/diet/lifestyle. If they bring it up, change the subject. The best way to not get unwanted comments, is by not letting the issue be raised.
2) If it does come up (sometimes it does) just tell them you're not doing it to lose weight. Tell them you're doing it for fitness, or strength...anything that's not aesthetic (even if you do have aesthetic goals)

RunnerStephe

I'd just tell them, "I'd rather not be fat, like you."

Hey, if they think they can insult you, give it back to them.

LOL!! I get it all the time too. I just throw their unhealthy lifestyle back at them. You look awesome! Keep doing what you are doing.

caterpillardreams

People are dumb. You're really tall and you are 176. That's perfect. You're a size 8. THAT's perfect to me. You are thin, not skinny. Eff them all. And tell them to keep their opinions to themselves, even if they are close family.

When I was a size 12 my mom would say stupid *kitten* like that. Latin moms; what are you gonna do. If you're not fat, you're not normal.

Drives me bananas.

Im hispanic and my mom never commented on weight. But other women in my family would. I was very skinny growing up. And they would always say. U need some food. Now most of them are getting surgery to lose weight. Im trying to lose my baby fat but I would not tell any of them you are too fat or you are too skinny.
I really do not understand why people like to put others down.
I used to be so self conscious of being skinny when I was young. I hated it. Because I did not have the big booty and hips. Im guessing that mindset also discourages many hispanic women to eat more and not exercise because its looked down upon to be thin. Just my experiences growing up.

Biggirllittledreams

stop caring so much what other people think!

I couldn't agree more!

Not enough people realize that eating healthy and exercising is about being healthy: not about falling prey to society's ignorant ideals of beauty. 100 pounds or 500 - it doesn't matter how big or small one may be. What matters is that you respect your body, accept your body as is, and merely work to be healthier.

People have a hard time comprehending that health cannot be measured by one's size, and that not all skinny/small people are 'perfectly healthy'. Hell, nobody is perfectly healthy! It's a process that needs 24/7 change and maintenance.

Seriously though: ignore the comments people make about your body, regardless. They don't matter as long as you're strong in pursuing a healthy life style. Your body, your choices, your rules as cliche as that sounds.

Phoenix612

I agree with everyone else here!

I told my mom the other day that my long term goal weight was (I'm 5'8'') 160lbs. She told me that was too skinny and that I would look sickly at that weight!!

That's actually near the top end of my healthy weight range. The problem I think is that a lot of my family members are overweight/obese, so it's really hard for them to understand and see what someone's size should really be. I mean let's face it, healthy size has definitely been distorted, a size 10 50yrs ago is like a size 4 today! lol..It's also hard for people to see why you are doing what you're doing because of the stereotypes that float around when it comes to exercise and counting calories.

But honestly, don't let it get to you. Some people will compliment you in that way and genuinely mean it as a compliment. Don't take it personally, just smile and move on! :flowerforyou:

ajmurray1234

Right about now, I could only wish to have your problem Still, ignore people and congrats!

gakette420

Just laugh it off. It is their problem they think like that, not yours.

beachgirl172723

Since you aren't underweight the only thing I can assume is that it's code language for either "stop getting hotter" or "I am the sort of person that reflects on my own failure when someone else has success rather than being inspired by it"

Either way it's not you it's them, they are projecting their insecurities on you and there's not alot you can do, apart from to say I'm not "skinny" I'm just getting healthier.

Winning answer!



^^^^^ This!

beachgirl172723

When people make a comment about my weight, I just tell them..."Yea...I got sick of being fat....oh, sorry."

That pretty much ends that conversation.

lol- love this-

beachgirl172723

The problem I think is that a lot of my family members are overweight/obese, so it's really hard for them to understand and see what someone's size should really be. I mean let's face it, healthy size has definitely been distorted, a size 10 50yrs ago is like a size 4 today!

This is absolutely true; the average person has forgotten what healthy looks like. I grew up when the lowest size was a 3 in juniors (now a zero). In certain brands, it can be a good two sizes different now.