I'm a failure

Bigaway

Everyone is so good about posting their success stories and everyone is so encouraging and supportive. How about if I'm a failure? What if for 3 days I have been totally backsliding into all of my bad habits of overeating, eating junk, and NOT exercising. I thought it would be a one day fall. THen I committed to getting back on track after two days. Yesterday was three. How do I stop this downward spiral? How do I get my mental strength back for today? How do I not tell myself lies about how it's not worth it and I have so far go that I can't see my goals? And that now I've screwed up what I had started to accomplish?

weatheredcheese

Don't see it as screwing up, simply a 3 day blip, we all have them.
Just simply consider today as a new day and the last 3 days don't matter.

Having a couple of off days does not mean you should give up, so just get back up again and do something about it.

sadrithmora

First thing you can do is stop thinking your'e a failure. It's much harder than it sounds, actually, but feeling bad about yourself is.. well, not a good thing. Besides, it also makes it want to punish yourself, and not in a good way like '10 extra minutes of exercise'. Somewhere in the back of your head there can be that annoying voice saying 'I'm a failure so I don't even deserve to be healthy and lose weight'. Do you agree with that voice? If not, tell it to shut up, and tell it that you'll prove you can be healthy, and achieve whichever goals you set for yourself.

Get some friends to help you out as well!

IsabellaGiano

You decide.

12 pounds are not "nothing". You couldn't have washed that accomplishment in three days. That little success story of yours.

And even if you did? You may start again. For yourself. To write a success story by yourself. To FEEL like a success. You didn't do anything that the majority of the people here, yes, also the "success story" ones, didn't do.

So, if they can, you can. Because they are not special person. They are like you, like me. They lost control of themselves, they decided to gain it back, they fought, they lost sometimes... but decided to go on anyway. That is the only point.

You can start again. Starting again IS a victory.
The only real failure, is to stop.

Go on!

leantool

Has there been any source of stress,emotional or physical recently?
Were you restricting calories toomuch or avoiding entire food groups?it is a long drawn out bsttle and life happens regardless.don't beat yourself up,but analyze and locate the triggers,good luck and be happy

SamBlease1973

You're not a failure - look at how far you've already come... & you must have progressed if you're backsliding. Try setting yourself smaller goals. Telling yourself you've got 28lbs to lose with no clear end date in mind is a lot more daunting than saying you want to lose 4lbs by the end of the month. Keep going fowards, you can do it! :happy:

oregonzoo

a few days isn't a fail, and it's going to happen. Be kinder to yourself, you are human. See if you can figure out WHY you this behavior is happening rather than beating yourself up.

Myself, I do periodically this as well.
I call these periods "vacations from motivation"

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AglaeaC

If you're trying to tackle everything at once, it's no wonder the results suck. Try to figure out which is the most acute thing to change and focus on that. For good measure, add a simple one such as tracking daily glasses of water and you can build momentum from that.

Once you're on a roll, it's much easier to ask for more from yourself, but be realistic. It's a lifestyle change and the success stories are the result of usually months or years of hard work. Be patient.

Realise that 1+1+1 is the same as 2+1 or 3+0; you can reach the same result in many ways and for purposes of lifestyle change I'd say 1+1+1 is the most humane way to create permanent change.

ETA
Read this, by Kelly McGonigal for Yoga International:
http://yogainternational.com/article/view/how-to-create-a-sankalpa
Forget the "goals" and "resolutions".

Bigaway

Thank you. I was just HOPING someone would reply. I just needed someone who understood to give me some support. And a kick in the butt. I needed to hear from someone besides WRONG voices in my head!

raisealittlehell

Screwing up implies that you did something wrong or bad. This journey your on takes time, and some days will be better than others. Just because you have a bad day, or a few bad days, doesn't mean you've undone all your work.

Today is a new day, fresh, with no mistakes in it yet. YOU have the power to make it better than the last three days! Even if its something small like eating healthier today, or going for a walk. Small steps, one day at a time will help you get to your goal. We are all our own worst critics. Forgive yourself, brush yourself off, and continue on because YOU'RE NOT A FAILURE.

jennifer_417

1. Try not to do too much, too soon. The ONLY key to weight loss, barring some kinds of health conditions, is to burn more calories than you consume.

2. You failed, you are not a failure. See the difference? Pick yourself, dust yourself off, and get back to it like nothing ever happened.

rpyle111

No one is perfect. Respond to the lapse by redoubling your efforts toward a positive step today. Every day is an opportunity to take a positive step forward. Big or small, make it a step forward and by the time you know it, all of the positive steps will have taken you somewhere wonderful.

What you cannot do, is wallow in self pity. When your friends see you progress, no one will care that there were some bumps in the road.

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Mrs_Hoffer

You are NOT a Failure! The only way to fail is to stop trying all together. Take baby steps. Set smaller goals. Make your goals measurable and obtainable. Ive been working on week 4 of c25k for 3 weeks now,,,, but i simply REFUSE to give up!

Just DONT GIVE UP, and you will make progress!

AglaeaC

I'm really, really stubborn and have an incredibly hard time asking for help. Proof that I'm on the right path is that I've started to reach out more and I just wanted to add that you should be proud for recognising what's happening this early on, sucking up "pride" and asking for help. It's not an easy thing to do, because it exposes us to judgment and if we are vulnerable enough, said judgment can set us completely off course.

Look up Brené Brown's talk on vulnerability, ted.com, too. It's glorious.

tcbs99

"We will eat the fruit of our words." That means we will get exactly what we've been saying. Joel Osteen
We must only speak what we want to see in our life. Teach your mouth to speak what you want to see. Faith is the evidence of the things not seen. By faith you are a winner, by faith you are delivered from the weights that bind you (physical and spiritual). We can only live one second, minute, hour and day at a time. Yesterday is gone, so just live today. Take it one step at a time. Continue to post and read the comments in this awesome community of people doing the same thing, getting healthier.

Cranquistador

You are not alone in this.

Part of the process is recognizing what is happening and picking yourself up when you fall.

Bigaway

AWESOME community. I am brought to tears by these comments from people who don't even know me. I can't believe the support. I really can't. It's amazing.

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laurie04427

When I do that, I try to keep track mentally of all the crap I'm eating/drinking and log it the best I can even if it's at the end of the day. And write a note in the comment at the bottom "stressed out" "still on the booze binge" as a reminder of was going on.

I figure when I snap out of the funk and get my spunk back, I can look back and try to figure out what was happening and maybe learn something to try to change things for the future. The more we recognize the pattens of what got us unhealthy the better I figure. It's a process.

Ususally for me those bad eating periods will last about 4 days or so and I'll start feeling so physically crappy I have to change things around and get back on the wagon because I feel so sluggish.

hoyalawya2003

How about looking at it this way: did eating like that make you happy? Did you feel better about yourself eating that way? [hint: based on your post, the answer is no!] So just say, today I am going to stay on plan and be happier about myself and my choices. Then you do it again the next day, and the next. Some days aren't perfect--heck, some weeks aren't perfect. You have the rest of your life to work towards perfection.

sherambler

I deal with this myself a lot. I try to remind myself that weight loss isn't a straight line. It veers off and comes back. It's a natural part of weight loss and is perhaps one of the hardest realities to accept. We're so used to hearing the end results of success stories, that it's easy to forget the struggles that are involved, the ups and downs.

I think you also need to celebrate the small victories, like exercising more days that not or going a whole day without soda, etc. Think of where you where and where you are now. On the surface it may not feel like you've made changes, even when you're falling back into those old habits, but I bet if you look closely enough even those bad habits have shifted some. I look back on my binges that I have now and compare with the past and even though I want to get down on myself for those bad habits, they have changed a little. I only binge on one bag of chips. I drink seltzer instead of soda. I don't have to binge until I feel like my stomach is going to burst. Those are all little bits of progress that are going to help me succeed in the long run. One of my weight loss matras is: 85% of the time is success. It gives me some room to breathe when I slip but it also keeps me focused on my goals.

Also, it sounds like you may have a case of absolutism like I do. Where I either need to be completely self-sabotaging or the perfect diet princess, both of which are not good and are just extremes. You're not a failure by any means, you just need to find the right balance thand tools that work for you, which takes some time and some patience. Perhaps instead of focusing on the numbers on the scale you make goals like trying to limit the days you take off from exercising or lengethening the number of days between junkfood overeating, etc.

marianvandalenanderson

Wow, look at the support you are receiving! I hope that is the motivation you need to be good to yourself. None of us are perfect and we need support. This is my first day back after three months of wallowing in depression and stress. I have to get some weight off or I will be on medication for diabetes and I just graduated with a minor in Health Education. I know what I need to do and I have a hard time doing it. You are not alone in this struggle to be healthier. Good for you for sharing your feelings. Now, get up and go for a walk! Hugs and smiles to you!:happy: :happy:

Squamation

You're only a failure when you quit.

Just because you haven't finished the race doesn't mean you never will- keep going!

sweetcurlz67

3 days, 3 months, it doesn't matter... this is a marathon, NOT a sprint! it is a lifestyle change. we will have bumps in the road, but the good thing is that we can always get back. we KNOW what's right and it's NOT like getting FIRED from a job!!! no need to continue to beat yourself up over it, just get back TO IT!!! :flowerforyou:

JoRocka

I have days where I get side tracked- and soon my break becomes a slump- and I get very very dejected by the thought that I haven't done anything.

And then I get even MORE depressed because I haven't MADE myself doing anything.

And honestly the only way I get out of it is just saying at some point- GET UP AND GO DO SOMETHING.

YOU CAN do it- but you just gotta tell yourself today is a new day- and get up and do A thing- any thing- as long as it is A thing.

one positive step today can mean 2 positive steps tomorrow can lead to back on track very quickly.

You got it- go on- allow yourself to be fabulous and kill it!

tomomatic

You've lost 12 pounds already. I don't see the fail.
Keep going. You will have setbacks. Shrug it off. damage done. Move forward.

abadvat

Call me extreme but if you really want it, you'll find a way - If you don't, you'll find an excuse!

rpyle111

AWESOME community. I am brought to tears by these comments from people who don't even know me. I can't believe the support. I really can't. It's amazing.

Hush. We're a bunch of meanies who post cat gifs. Can't have this kind of talk getting out.

Yeah. If word gets out, we'll get beaten up on the playground!

Seriously, Bigaway, you are not alone in this. Nearly all of us have been where you are in some form or another. Keep your head up!

jlovesnyc

We all are vulnerable to blips. A long term solution may be an accountability partner that has been where you are and beaten the weight challenge or someone who is currently on a mission to battle the bulge themselves. Battles are best fought in numbers. I just started using my fitness pal and after three days so far so good, though no weight loss. I'm hoping to hang in there for the long haul.