Fattest girl at the gym
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You're there to solve that problem. It's al about perspective. Instead of using it as an excuse, think of it as an inspiration! Say to yourself "look, they're working out, this is where skinnier, fitter people become and STAY skinny and fit. THIS is where I need to be because that is how I'm going to make myself be."
Think of it as a way to make yourself fit in. This is good peer pressure in a way, it's society giving you a reason to be fit, healthy, and look good. Take it as a challenge, a chance, and live up to it. You got this. You're in the right place because in a couple of months you will look like they do.
Also, I found it helpful to complement people on their bodies and ask them for fitness, workout, or diet tips.
Never fall into the trap of staying at home and eating cake instead of going to the gym because of your body... It's reallyy hard to get out of, because the problem just becomes worse and worse that way!0 -
Even after losing 65+ lbs, I'm still one of the fattest people at my gym.
You have to realize that everyone there is just as human as you are, and if you paid your membership fees, you have every right to be there just as they do regardless of your size.
Wear clothes that you're comfortable in, plug in your earbuds or whatever you use for music/video/etc., and just go do your thing. You may even find that some of the people people you are intimidated by aren't so very different from you after all.
haha. I was intimated by the squat rack for the longest time.. It wasn't' the rack itself.. It was using it while know the muscly fit guys were hovering there waiting for me to be done.. Because i'm a slow squatter, Because I feel like I have no idea what i'm doing in "that section" of the gym. Because i'm not a ripped super fit person. I finally joined them in their hovering and got on it and ya know what, it felt great
I had to wait... now so can they. And my muscles thank me for it.
I can't wait to use the squat rack. The gym I'm at has the Smith Machines and I'm not interested in them. The gym I am going to change to has squat racks. BUT, those bad boys are always in use. Unfortunately I live in an area full of "brahs" and those types you see at the Jersey Shore so if I want the squat rack, I'm going to have to go in early, like really early and git 'er done that way. Hey, I'm just going to have to get to bed early if I want to get my results.0 -
I wouldn't stay home because of your size - only if home is what you prefer. I'm not sure which gym you go to but I have been a member of different gyms over the years and bra tops are a rarity with maybe less than 10 percent of women every wearing the skimpy bra top/boy short combo. The 'go to' outfit for most women seems to be yoga pants and a tank top. I'm not sure what choice you have in gyms but I go to Good Life and it really lives up to its slogan "good for every body". I see every size and age at my local. That said, there is another gym close by that I think I would find intimidating (and unaffordable - for the rich and beautiful set!). I suggest you look around and find what works for you. The best gyms create an atmosphere where everyone is welcome and you just have to bring your can do attitude. Also the women you envy and think might be judging you, have probably walked in your shoes at one point and worked hard for their hot body. These are the women that make the best mentors.
I wear yoga pants and a really big v-neck t shirt. I like to see the different way it hangs now. that T shirt is my guage. I can see how much I'm changing by the way it fits now.0 -
Gyms are for people who don't need gyms, in my experience.
That said, in bad weather I utilize the gym, and I just mind my own business. Let people think I'm fat - I don't care! But the reason I don't care is that I have mean thoughts about other people too sometimes.
"Who wears a leopard/zebra mesh top?!"
Doesn't mean I think they're bad people. Doesn't mean I think about them at all past that one thought. Doesn't mean I always have those thoughts about all people. We all have opinions, and thoughts, and no one can control them. My advice is just to accept that and do your thing, and realize that sometimes you have the same type of thoughts about other people.
"GOD that woman is skinny! How can she even function?"
Etc. Etc. Etc.
People who say crap like this make me want to punch a puppy.
A gym isn't a place for fit people.
That's like saying the supermarket is for fat people.
WHAT DOES THAT EVEN MEAN?????
A gym is a room full of equipment you rent so you can do activities that you cannot do at home, will not do at home- or you prefer doing with like minded people. That's it- there is not "you must be THIS FIT to enter this gym" sign.
It has nothing to do with your level of fitness or fatness. Much like the super market has nothing to do with your level of fitness- or fatness.
And you admitted a core concept of judginess:
The people who feel most uncomfortable about being judged... are often exceptionally judgmental about others. Once you let go and let people be who they are for whatever reason- you can realize YOU can be who you are for whatever reasons.
You spend more time thinking about them then they do about you that's for damn sure. And Yeah- you're a grown up- you CAN control/change your attitude and your thoughts. You just have to really want to.0 -
If you're really worried about anyone saying anything, buy a pair of Beats, clamp them on your ears, and turn 'em up to 11. That'll kill anything anyone might have to say to you. :laugh:0
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That's why I bought a treadmill. Well, one reason. Other was the gym was a 15 minute drive and with kids, that's crazy. Gas too... so it was cheaper. I have vad anxiety because of my weight and all the young, skinny, bimbo types at the gym were not helping that.
So you have anxiety because of your weight and are afraid that people will judge you, yet you turn around and judge young, skinny women and equate them to bimbos?
Mmmmmmmk. Oh pot? Meet kettle....0 -
That's why I bought a treadmill. Well, one reason. Other was the gym was a 15 minute drive and with kids, that's crazy. Gas too... so it was cheaper. I have vad anxiety because of my weight and all the young, skinny, bimbo types at the gym were not helping that.
So you have anxiety because of your weight and are afraid that people will judge you, yet you turn around and judge young, skinny women and equate them to bimbos?
Mmmmmmmk. Oh pot? Meet kettle....
mai post above.
The most complaining people I hear about "feeling judged" comes from the most judgmental people I've ever met.
Projecting their judgey behavior on to others- and there for feeling insecure about perceived judginess.0 -
"Don't compare your beginning to someones else's middle." - Jon Acuff0
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I started going to the gym when I was around 245 pounds. I was definitely one of the biggest women that I saw. It intimidated me at first, mostly because I was out of my comfort zone. It didn't take me long to realize that no one really cares about other people at the gym. And if they happen to care they can eff right off.
Now by looking at me (and I've since switched gyms) no one would ever know that I used to be 80 pounds heavier. Don't assume that any fit-looking people at the gym have always been that way.0 -
Good for you! I admire you on many levels for keeping with it. Most importantly, always remember that there will come a time that someone else will take over that role. Keep working it girlfriend.0
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I'm overweight but not obese (though I'm only a few pounds away from being considered such). But, I live in California and when I signed up at my current gym I had no idea that I would be signing up at such a fitness-minded place (and I mean, surrounded by fitness competitors, actresses and models, you get the idea). But, as time went on I started to notice that I was the biggest girl at the gym! Some of my friends thought I was joking and some people knew I was serious because at one time they had memberships at the gym. One day I was on the treadmill when one of the meatheads and his friends got on next to me and meathead #1 said to meathead #2, "I like to exercise next to the fat people, it helps keep me motivated." I was pretty devastated, but you know what? Effing forget them, and forget the people you worry about, go ahead and be the fattest girl and go in there and work your *kitten* off, and let people stare, or whatever it is they do, and use that energy and that hurt and anger, or whatever your feeling, turn it into energy for your workouts, you'll be amazed to see what happens.0
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:flowerforyou:
making fun of fat people at the gym is liking going to the hospital to make fun of sick people.0 -
:flowerforyou:
making fun of fat people at the gym is liking going to the hospital to make fun of sick people.
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I used to be the fattest person in the gym. I wore pajama pants and old ratty tshirts the first month I went. I avoided the mirrors at all costs. I felt self-conscious and out of place. But I decided not to let that stop me; I didn't give a *kitten* what anyone said and whether they stared or what they thought.
Then something weird happened. I started making friends. I stopped avoiding the mirrors. I invested in workout clothes. I lost weight (a lot of weight).
Now I get mistaken for the group ex instructor sometimes.
The gym transformed me from the fattest person there to a fit person.
Keep going. Anyone who would mock you isn't worth the time of day. Most people aren't paying any attention. I can tell you this: I didn't gotten a single negative comment, but I got plenty of "I've been watching you over the past few months and cannot believe your progress" and that doesn't suck one bit.0 -
I appreciate you posting this.
Yes. Absolutely.
Just like many of these other people are saying, your efforts are evidence that you are not apathetic to your health.
I have these exact thoughts on and off at the gym, but I would not say that is a very good excuse for staying home and working out. If you want to work out at home, that is fine. I simply do not have the equipment I would like in order to strength train and get a cardio fix.
I go to the gym because I may have a deluded sense of community about the act itself. We all know why we are there and we are all better for it. My only complaint is that people should be more open to talking with one another. On the hand, the purpose of being there isn't really to talk. You are there for yourself and everyone seems to have this common factor figured out.
If you feel people are judging, just stop feeling that way. It's takes mental focus to simply ignore that kind of thinking and get your work-out done. There may, in fact, be someone thinking (one way or another) something negative about you but really, who the hell cares? You know why you are there! One day at a time and with all those days and efforts combined you are well on your way to feeling and looking like the person you wish to be.0 -
Can you buy some workout clothes that can help you feel more confident?
No such thing for me..... LOL0 -
I did not go to the gym until I lost about 50lbs. I think this had something to do with it..plus not wanting to commit to a membership that I did not know if I could.
I started doing at home dvds...which I think if you do not have a "go-to" at home workout - you need to get one. Distractions can easily deter you from going to the gym but an at-home dvd is un-excusable.
I started with Leslie Sansone, and 1 mile was BRUTAL but...it made me realize how horribly out of shape I was. Then I progressed to Turbo Jam, then Turbo Fire. When I got to 210lbs, I got my first gym membership ever. I went 3 times a week, every week, for 1 month. Then guess what? I stopped going. BUT that did NOT stop me from losing weight. I still consistently do my at-home dvds and I have since lost 24lbs.0 -
i have the most respect out of anyone for the biggest people at the gym. theyre the ones trying to start new good habits, theyre the ones carrying around 100 extra lbs on that treadmill, theyre the ones who have to work against everything they have gotten used to in their life in order to try and better themselves. its like someone looking at the base of mt. everest and saying "y'know what, *kitten* it, ima climb that f*cker. it may beat the hell out of me, people may think im a fool or my efforts are fruitless, but i will climb"
everyone is self conscious at first, but eventually you realize that most people in the gym are concentrated on their own workouts, and if they arent then they are wasting their time and money at the gym
+1
Also, on top of everything he said, 95% of the time, no one is even noticing you and they'd definitely not be chuckling to themselves or making fun of you. By the off chance that a girl/guy are, they're very rare and outnumbered AND are leading very miserable lives. Do you.0 -
To be honest, I feel inspired when I see really overweight folks at the gym. Today, a man got out of his car in the gym parking lot at the same time that I did and he was morbidly obese. You could tell he had lost some weight and he still had a way to go. We smiled at each other as we headed in.
I felt such admiration for this guy, who is doing what he needs to do to get healthy, and doing it with a lot of challenges most of us don't have to face.
Anyone who would judge you for being bigger than some is not worth ANY of your time or energy to think about. So what if you are the biggest woman there?! What does that mean exactly? That you don't deserve to be there? That you cannot possibly be attractive or nice or interesting or worthy just because you are the biggest chick there? I would challenge you if you are having any of those thoughts.
There are all shapes and sizes at the gym and I don't think most people give it a second thought. I am guessing that YOU are probably the one giving it the most thought. It is within your control to decide to not give a *kitten* and just do your groovy thang. 0 -
I am an anxious wreck at the gym, and almost none of the advice here helps me.
Here's why, though:
I don't care if they're thinking *negatively* about me - I just care that they can see me to think anything of me. The inner positive admiration of my work ethic or determination, or a silent "you go, fatty" is every bit as mortifying a thought as some fit girl thinking I'm gross. It really just doesn't matter.
But I've come to realize that I notice other people more than it seems like other people do. I notice this when I overhear conversations out in public and the people I'm with give me blank looks because they don't hear it, so it makes sense that I just flat out notice other people at the gym more than any of them notice me. I have a strong feeling that my anxiety would go away if I would stop noticing THEM, rather than being told that they're probably cheering me on or too busy working on their own thing to see me.
The other thing is just plain bad self-esteem. I don't want to be seen if I'm not hot in my own eyes. Again, it's not about what other people think - it's about ME thinking too much. There's this whole thing about convincing MYSELF that I'm worthy enough to be seen or even to take up somebody else's oxygen that's very tied into my weight and clearly affects whether I can handle being in the gym on any given day. It's something that goes deeper than just getting a physical workout - it'll probably take quite a lot of therapy on top of losing weight to get me to a point where I feel "ok" being in a gym.
I haven't quite figured out how to ignore other people yet, or how to feel better about myself while I'm a fat cow though, so I just generally avoid being out in public at all (my anxiety isn't limited to the gym - I feel overwhelming horror, shame, guilt, and embarrassment just being seen by other people at all in any situation.)
I don't know if my revelations on the subject would help anybody else, but I thought I'd at least share what I think the issue stems from for me. Maybe it's what is happening behind the scenes for someone else who's scared of the gym, too. Knowledge is power, I hear.0 -
I live between a college campus and an air force base. I am easily the fattest person in the gym, in most of my classes, running outside, etc. But the thing is... I don't care. If somebody stares at me, I don't assume they're judging me, nor do I assume that they're admiring me. I just keep doing what I'm doing and don't even worry about them. Why would I let a perfect stranger's opinion influence *my* life?0
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I am an anxious wreck at the gym, and almost none of the advice here helps me.
Here's why, though:
I don't care if they're thinking *negatively* about me - I just care that they can see me to think anything of me. The inner positive admiration of my work ethic or determination, or a silent "you go, fatty" is every bit as mortifying a thought as some fit girl thinking I'm gross. It really just doesn't matter.
But I've come to realize that I notice other people more than it seems like other people do. I notice this when I overhear conversations out in public and the people I'm with give me blank looks because they don't hear it, so it makes sense that I just flat out notice other people at the gym more than any of them notice me. I have a strong feeling that my anxiety would go away if I would stop noticing THEM, rather than being told that they're probably cheering me on or too busy working on their own thing to see me.
The other thing is just plain bad self-esteem. I don't want to be seen if I'm not hot in my own eyes. Again, it's not about what other people think - it's about ME thinking too much.
I haven't quite figured out how to ignore other people yet, or how to feel better about myself while I'm a fat cow though, so I just generally avoid being out in public at all (my anxiety isn't limited to the gym - I feel overwhelming horror, shame, guilt, and embarrassment just being seen by other people at all in any situation.)
I don't know if my revelations on the subject would help anybody else, but I thought I'd at least share what I think the issue stems from for me. Maybe it's what is happening behind the scenes for someone else who's scared of the gym, too. Knowledge is power, I hear.
My question is, do you think your anxiety, shame, and guilt will go away with weight loss? Or is it something that will be re-directed once you're at your goal weight? I can understand feeling embarrassed, but it's never been a debilitating experience for me. I'm thinking there may be more at play than just gym anxiety.0 -
My question is, do you think your anxiety, shame, and guilt will go away with weight loss? Or is it something that will be re-directed once you're at your goal weight? I can understand feeling embarrassed, but it's never been a debilitating experience for me. I'm thinking there may be more at play than just gym anxiety.
Oh, the soul-crushing social anxiety isn't strictly a gym thing for me...... but it's all tied in together. I have (some of my) crappy self-confidence because I'm fat, and I'm fat because my self-confidence is keeping me from being in the gym (or outside walking/running/playing sports). The question is whether there's enough money in the world to buy all the therapy I need to fix it.
But with blabbing all of that, I was hoping that all of the analysis I've gone through over it might have something useful to offer to somebody else. It's never about what anybody else thinks of us that makes us anxious - it's about what's going on internally.
So I don't know that talking about what other people do or don't think about heavy folks working out will help everyone with self-confidence issues.0 -
Honestly, do not think of what others are thinking of you. IF anything, they're thinking omgosh, she's amazing, I'm so proud of her etc.
Keep up the great work! Don't let what others think of you stop you from improving yourself/health.
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I'm always extremely uncomfortable at the gym because of the fact.. I am the fattest girl at the gym.
All the other girls are in their sports bras and tights & I'm just in there blobbing it. Yes, it makes me want to gym it up more and work-out even harder but at the same time I want to go home and hide away in my room and eat cake and be sad.. hahaha. No but seriously is there anyone else uncomfortable or having negative emotions at the gym because you realize you're the biggest there?
I've never been technically "overweight" in my entire life, and I get self-conscious when I see all those super-fit tight-body girls at the gym. They don't even have to wear skimpy/ultratight clothes, I can still tell they have better bodies than mine, so I get jealous and anxious and insecure. It's stupid and unhealthy, but I can't help it.
(PS - my profile picture is NOT what I wear to the gym. I wear a baggy t-shirt and loose shorts or yoga pants. In a photo no one can see my fat jiggle or the cellulite ripple across my thighs.)
In sum, you're not alone.0 -
I respect anyone who goes to the gym. Be proud you are there. You're ahead of all those people still sitting on the couch. 0
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I am an anxious wreck at the gym, and almost none of the advice here helps me.
Here's why, though:
I don't care if they're thinking *negatively* about me - I just care that they can see me to think anything of me. The inner positive admiration of my work ethic or determination, or a silent "you go, fatty" is every bit as mortifying a thought as some fit girl thinking I'm gross. It really just doesn't matter.
I am definately the fattest girl in the gym at 330lb and 380 when I started and I totally feel your anxiety. I think it is because being overweight is such a visible thing. If you lack self control with alcohol or cigarettes you can walk down the street (or into the gym) and no-one is any the wiser, but if you are fat then it is just out there for everyone to see.
For what it's worth, the only time people have spoken to me in the gym is to say how well I've been doing or to have a friendly chat, but like you I'm mortified at the compliments, and generally antisocial. Now I just keep my ear phones in whether I have my music on or not and don't get bothered by anyone.0 -
I'm sure there's a gym out there somewhere that just lets you reserve times to have equipment to yourself and not have to be around people, but I'm sure I can't afford it.
(And if that gym model doesn't exist yet, somebody should totally make it happen. And let me go for free.)
Of course, having a perfect home gym would fit the bill too!0
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