Fattest girl at the gym

Guns_N_Buns

I think that would just be a temporary fix for something that goes way beyond your weight.

Side note: there ARE gyms out there catered to obese people (not letting thin members in)

However, I think it's just exacerbating a serious problem you already have: not socializing, getting over your fears of judgment, rejection, etc.

I think you should consult a therapist and get over your war in your HEAD and then your perception toward getting healthier will in turn get healthier!

Or someone needs to just give you tough love and say "get off your fat *kitten* and go. now!"

bregalad5

Try going to a gym near central Moscow, Russia (yes, full of beautiful Russian women, ha)... I've only seen one, yes ONE other fat person at my gym and he was an older man. The girls there give me nasty looks, the guys stare, and my co-worker who also goes there even made fun of me because I was sweating a lot. She had just seen me run three miles on the treadmill next to her... I just turn up my music, do my thing, don't talk to anyone - mostly because I can't - and get out of the gym and into the sauna as fast as I can, haha. It's tough, but I just tell myself it's for my benefit and that hopefully they see that I work hard.

trojan_bb

Most of the fittest people in any gym did not start out looking good. They mostly all have a chip on their shoulder and their past body image issues are what continue to drive them. They can relate.

Don't worry about them.

jenniferv38

I am one of the bigger girls at my gym. This is what I do...I heft my big ol' self on to the elliptical and I put that machine through a grueling 35 minutes of pure hell and punishment. I don't care what others think, what others say, or what others are doing. I put on my music and pretend I'm the sexiest thing to ever grace the planet (instead of a frumpy woman in baggy sweat pants and an old t-shirt with food stains on it...lol). In the end, I'm a red faced sweaty mess but I walk out of that gym feeling like a superstar. I am determined to get this weight off. I used to care what others thought and it was crippling me. Now that I am older (and fatter) I care more about ME than I do about what others think.

conqueringsquidlette

I think that would just be a temporary fix for something that goes way beyond your weight.

Side note: there ARE gyms out there catered to obese people (not letting thin members in)

However, I think it's just exacerbating a serious problem you already have: not socializing, getting over your fears of judgment, rejection, etc.

I think you should consult a therapist and get over your war in your HEAD and then your perception toward getting healthier will in turn get healthier!

Or someone needs to just give you tough love and say "get off your fat *kitten* and go. now!"

I am in therapy. I have been for a very long time, with a number of different approaches (and therapists). I thought my references to therapy in my posts would make it clear that I do know that I need it and would hint that I'm in it. Thanks for your concern, though.

The tough love / berating approach is not very sustainable. It works once or twice, and then everybody's sick of fighting about it and just goes their separate ways.

KDar1988

I'm the bigger girl at the gym too. I had a hard time at first, but I know that I'm there to better myself. Anymore I don't care what anyone thinks (to date I've not heard anyone say anything). I get on that machine and show them that I can rock it just as hard as anyone else can! The ellipticals are in rows in front of the treadmills. Today, there were 3 college guys on the treadmills so guess what they go to look at...me! I didn't care. I'm proud of myself for getting there, for doing the work and how it makes me feel afterwards. Keep it up...you can do it!!!!

technospice

I'm asthmatic with exercise induced asthma AND usually the fattest girl "at the gym". I have acquaintances who sit around and fat-shame like crazy. I know them feels. I generally jog over gym simply because I'm also poor and can't afford a gym membership, so I run at the park near my home, but it's a busy park. The number one motivator I've ever found was to repeat the following whenever I feel down.

I'm still lapping the people on the couch.

People who have worked to lose weight are typically a lot more sympathetic. But there are so many jerks out there who have never had to struggle with their weight who don't understand and are of the mind that fat people just need to put down the donut. People are jerks. Ignore them.

amberlykay1014

Personally, if I see someone working hard at the gym, I respect them regardless of their weight. Just get in there and do it!

Stick to your goals and you won't always be fat, but people who are rude and judgmental to you will always be jerks.

lisalsd1

Seriously, you're probably not the fattest person that belongs to that gym. You might FEEL like the fattest person there. So what if you are though??? At least you are the fattest person at the GYM and not the fattest person sitting on your couch!

SoreTodayStrongTomorrow222

Um, I am the SWEATIEST person at the gym. I literally sweat buckets and Idk why the he** I had to inherit that from my mother but it happened. I look totally gross and like I am dying because I get insanely red too but I don't let it stop me. Besides, no one is looking at you - they are too busy worried about themselves so don't be self conscious.

marvybells

"GOD that woman is skinny! How can she even function?"

(I gotta say, I've seen three different chicks who looked like beanpoles on the cardio machines and thought the same thing - Shudders)

Wow. that's an incredibly rude and ugly thing to say about someone else's body.

Laura732

I wish I had time to read everybody's posts! This has been a really good one I've been in your shoes. Yes, I did feel like I stuck out like a sore thumb. When I ran my first 1 mile race, I WAS the person that finished last. Also, I did meet 4 people who changed my life in the gym. I said hello, I admitted I had no idea what I was doing and asked for help. She's still one of my best friends ever and she's seen me through a 40 lb weight loss. The 2nd of my 4 gym rat buddies actually got me hooked on running. The other 2 gym rat buddies, well let's just say it was 'gym gaffes' that introduced us. One of those gaffe's was me going airborne from a defective treadmill, but that's another thread. So I agree with the person back near the beginning who said "start by saying Hello", I encourage you to do that. It gets easier to go to the gym and rock it when you know some of the names that go with the faces.

lisalsd1

Um, I am the SWEATIEST person at the gym. I literally sweat buckets and Idk why the he** I had to inherit that from my mother but it happened. I look totally gross and like I am dying because I get insanely red too but I don't let it stop me. Besides, no one is looking at you - they are too busy worried about themselves so don't be self conscious.

I am the sweatiest person at my gym too! I sweat worse than every man at the gym...well, 1 guy sweat more than me, but he moved! So technically, I'm the sweatiest now. My nickname for myself at the gym is "Sweaty McSweaterson." It's all right, it just means I'm working the hardest (ok, that's what I tell myself).

ryry1322

I totally understand you. I have been walking the roads where I live. once I drop 20 lbs I plan on hitting the gym more often.

hang in there and you will be fine.

ReinasWrath

I used to feel this way all the time but I'm going to tell you what I tell myself. First off, no one is paying attention to you, they're all doing their own thing and even if they did notice you (and no you're not the "fattest person" and no one is thinking that so neither should you!!! ) they're thinking 'wow look at that girl kick *kitten*!!!' Secondly you're there to wreck it and improve on your personal goals so focus on you!! Good luck!! I know it takes a lot to overcome these feelings but stay persistent and soon you'll feel comfortable there!!

giggitygoo

I get super sweaty and disgusting. I'm sure people are grossed out, lol. Just do your thing, and be proud of the changes you're making.

AeonAi

Honestly the bigger girls are more inspiring and when they are confidently giving it what they can it's super sexy. Don't feel out of place big or small you rock, and most people are probably so into their workout they don't notice.

liftingandlipstick

Feel ya, honey! I take group classes, rather than a traditional gym, and not only am I the fattest girl in all the classes I take, but in a few of them, I'm the ONLY fat girl. Period. Yeah, sometimes I get embarassed, mostly when it comes time to run stairs or do burpees and it becomes painfully obvious that I'm in the worst shape there. But then, other times, I stop and think: I'm the only fat girl here. I may not be able to keep up with everyone else, and I may have to modify some of my moves, but I can still put in an hour of bootcamp without dying. Everyone else leaves just as sore as I am. And (a benefit of small classes where you see the same people every week) most of the girls are super encouraging. Not just noticing the progress I've made, but not letting me give up when I DO get discouraged.

I'm also doing C25K, and every week, Sunday morning, I pass the same dude-bro on the same block going opposite directions. Every week, since the first time I saw him, he puts up his hand for a high five as we pass each other. No other interaction, and I've never seen him anywhere else lol. But to him, I'm not a fat girl trying to jog, I'm just another runner who deserves a high five. And he gets it, cause why not?

Guns_N_Buns

"Who wears a leopard/zebra mesh top?!"



Etc. Etc. Etc.

Forty6and2

My question is, do you think your anxiety, shame, and guilt will go away with weight loss? Or is it something that will be re-directed once you're at your goal weight? I can understand feeling embarrassed, but it's never been a debilitating experience for me. I'm thinking there may be more at play than just gym anxiety.

Oh, the soul-crushing social anxiety isn't strictly a gym thing for me...... but it's all tied in together. I have (some of my) crappy self-confidence because I'm fat, and I'm fat because my self-confidence is keeping me from being in the gym (or outside walking/running/playing sports). The question is whether there's enough money in the world to buy all the therapy I need to fix it.

But with blabbing all of that, I was hoping that all of the analysis I've gone through over it might have something useful to offer to somebody else. It's never about what anybody else thinks of us that makes us anxious - it's about what's going on internally.

So I don't know that talking about what other people do or don't think about heavy folks working out will help everyone with self-confidence issues.

If it helps, get to a weight that you're comfortable with via calorie restriction before joining a gym. Also, look into fitnessblender.com, they have exercises that require no/minimal equipment.

markja

The functional phrase in the OP is, "...at the gym." Whether you are the fattest or skinniest, male or female is made irrelevant by the fact that you are at the gym. If any sweaty individual were to criticize you, refer them to the nearest library, assuming the sweaty one can read, to learn why one goes to the gym in the first place.

snazzyjazzy21

"GOD that woman is skinny! How can she even function?"

(I gotta say, I've seen three different chicks who looked like beanpoles on the cardio machines and thought the same thing - Shudders)

Wow. that's an incredibly rude and ugly thing to say about someone else's body.

Cathalain

Um, I am the SWEATIEST person at the gym. I literally sweat buckets and Idk why the he** I had to inherit that from my mother but it happened. I look totally gross and like I am dying because I get insanely red too but I don't let it stop me.

This may sound really gross, but I wear that sweat as a badge of honor. It's proof positive that I worked my big butt off that night and I earned every bit of the weight loss that's going to come after it. I LOVE it when I'm dripping at the end of a workout - it means that I've achieved what I set out to do.

I saw a motivational pic the other day that I dug - "That's not sweat, that's liquid awesome."

the_great_unknown

I was 310 pounds at my heaviest, so I have been the fattest girl at the gym, at Weight Watchers, at life. I used to let that keep me from going, but I decided to stick with it. It wasn't easy. I have been lucky to have multiple people come up to me at the gym and tell me that they admire my dedication. At Crossfit, I have been the slowest runner and get all kinds of encouragement from the amazing people there. Yes, I am overweight and not a perfect size 6, but they see the work I am putting in when it is harder for me than for an average person.

girlwithcurls2

It's been 15 years and 3 moves, but I still remember joining a gym and seeing the fattest girl there. Clearly, she had more discipline than I did, because the transformation that she made was incredible. I was in awe of her (and more than a little afraid of her). So you're the fattest one there RIGHT NOW. So what? Keep working. Keep getting stronger. KEEP GOING! And before long, there'll be another fat girl there who needs a smile and a word of encouragement. You could literally change someone's life by sticking to your own goals, staying true to yourself and what you know you need to do, and later, sharing a little bit of that with a stranger.

You rock. Don't EVER forget that.
~Curly

KylaDenay

Girl walk up in that gym with pride! Everyone is there for the same reason. To lose weight, be healthy, be fit, get fit, gain muscle. I bet you that most of them didn't even look like that when they first walked into a gym for the first time and were uncomfortable too. I can also bet you that not one of them will judge you. If anything they would probably be thinking "good for her getting her gym on." One has more respect for a big girl inside the gym, then a big girl eating a big mac and a large fry not giving a damn. Be proud that you are working toward your goal and do not let that deter you in any way

girlwithcurls2

But to him, I'm not a fat girl trying to jog, I'm just another runner who deserves a high five. And he gets it, cause why not?

This. Is. Awesome.

Think like this chick. "Cause why not?" Love it.:flowerforyou:

MsPudding

When I first went to our local gym I was terrified. In fact the first time I went I only got as far as the door and then turned round and went home in tears because I was too busy imagining gasps of horror from the beautiful people the moment I hoved into view. Second time I made it into the gym and discovered just one chap in there doing weights who just smiled and said 'hi' as though I was a normal, regular person who was perfectly at home in a gym.

Now, after a few months, I've realised a few things:

1. Though 245lbs, I was a lot fitter than I thought (I'd always walked miles a day) and in fact I was kicking the *kitten* out of some of the thin women who'd just started at the gym but were incredibly unfit. Takeaway: thin doesn't necessarily mean fit.

2. People who are at the gym to work rarely notice anything else going on around them. They don't care about me and my fat issues. Takeaway: people who are focused on their fitness, focus on THEIR fitness and not yours.

3. Some people are at the gym for all the wrong reasons. Those are the ones you see texting/chatting away to their mates whilst putting in minimal effort on a cardio machine. Round this way they're the ones with the trendiest gym gear, the perfect (unsweated up) hair and make-up in place. Takeaway: People look far more disdainfully upon people hogging gym equipment when they're actually not putting any work in than they do at a 'fattie' being in the gym putting the work in

Now I'm in full-on 'screw it' mode, don my swimming costume once a week as part of my fitness program and go do my 50 lengths of the pool and anyone who doesn't like it can bite me :bigsmile:

yafashelli

This is an amazing thread, and I want to find it later!

stuffinmuffin

I'm (now) one of the girls in their sports bras and shorts. And do you know what, I totally respect the girl that's come in to start her weight loss journey in the gym. I respect her in my fitness classes far more than the fellow skinnies.

I was the fat girl once too.