Fitter than your partner?

dandelyon

My partner is obese. He has lost weight since being with me, but not much. My healthy cooking and dragging him out on hikes has done little to change his habits and preferences. He likes naps and video games.

For me, being fit is one part vanity, one part fear of aging, and one part chronic pain (scoliosis) prevention. It's not a hobby that i need to have my significant other on board with. I'd love his company, but since he spends most of any non-sexual physical activity we do together complaining, it's really more enjoyable for me to do it on my own and leave him home with his x-box.

Since I find him attractive at a larger size, I've no sexual reason to force him to change his body composition.

However, since weight-related health problems run in his family, I feel obligated through my love for him to sort of force him to join me sometimes. That sucks. I'd rather not have to be a nag. Diabetes and heart disease are no joke, though...

This

I want us to be like old people in commercials, not wheeling an oxygen tank through the mall.

ekztawas

My boyfriend and I are about the same level, although there are differences in our level of effort to get the bodies we have. My boyfriend is naturally fit and muscular. When he works out his body fat plummets. I have to workout nearly every day to stay fit.

bombshellcertification

We sweat together and often. When we run we suffer tegether, when we stretch we get limber together, when we play, we play hard together. I can out run, out lift, out stretch, and pin her down.... but she can out love me everytime!

That's all I could ask for. So in love.
[/quote

MinnieInMaine

Hubs and I have flip flopped over the last 16+ years. When we first met, I was obese (240-250) and he was all skinny and in shape from his outdoor labor job. His work became more sedentary and he didn't change his eating habits much so he started gaining weight. Meanwhile, I made a few semi-successful weight loss attempts but it wasn't until almost 5 years ago that I finally decided to lose the excess weight and get fit. He was hesitant about eating better at first but has mostly gotten into it.

Now we're both about 20 pounds overweight and I'm a bit more fit because I exercise regularly. Funny how that happened...

amraymond18

My boyfriend and I are on this weight loss journey together. It's definitely motivational. I wouldn't say one of us is more fit or healthier, since our body types are extremely different. My boyfriend is 6'3 and 230 pounds, I am 5'3 and 146 pounds. I guess I'm considered a "healthier weight," but like I said we're doing it together and motivating each other

MsMaryMac48

He is probably more fit than I am but I'm working on it.

I created humans. The best he can say is that he's infantry.

JUST WAIT. Keep working on it and you will surpass his level of fitness. Because he will be broken. My hubby was also infantry, now retired. I started running about five years ago and he would run with me. NEVER did I ever think we would run together. Then his old army life started catching up with him and all those ruck marches took it's toll. He doesn't run anymore and protests going to the gym. One day.... you will be more fit AND have created humans.

Hell_Flower

From a cardio point of view, I kick my hubby's butt, but he is pretty strong and spends more time lifting that I do (I'm still just getting in to weights), so from that aspect, he pips me there big time. From a healthy eating point of view, I would say my diet is much better than his. His metabolism is VERY high, so he can literally shovel all kinds of crap in his mouth and not put a pound on (grrr!). I just wish he would eat a bit more fresh food than he does (he eats a lot of processed stuff), but he is slap bang in the middle of the healthy BMI scale and has only like 10% body-fat, so doesn't feel the need to change his eating habits at the moment.

^I wish I had 10% body-fat and could eat like that. :sad:

sounds like you got a keeper!

My husband and I are exactly the same - I eat really healthy food and gym 5 times a week these days. I can out-row and out-run him easilyy. But he can lift and his reaction times are Jedi like! He hates that I go to the gym so much though. Seriously, if I wanted to go eat McDonalds 5 times a week, then that would be fine. I'm like "just because you can eat what you want and don't particularly have to exercise, doesn't mean I dont!"

But he has to eat 3500 a day just to maintain and he's a lean bean. I decided to lose that extra weight because he's super good looking and I didn't want other girls looking at us as a couple and thinking "why is that hot guy with that chubby chick?!" Plus if he can bench-press me it makes me feel girly haha.

To OP - just approach the subject gently. No one wants to be told they're fat. An ex once called me fat (I wasn't, not even a little bit) in the heat of an argument. He used an insult he knew would draw the most blood, and jeezus did that draw blood. It triggered a long time of food and self-worth issues that have never completely gone away.

Amitysk

I think I am more focused on health and fitness/weight loss than he is... My fiancé is naturally slim and muscular, when we met he was going to the gym almost every day (that was something we really liked to do together). After we moved in together laziness set in for both of us.

Now he's still slim although with a little belly and I am working diligently on reversing the slight gain I had. I am working out at least 4 times per week. Now that the weather is nicer I expect he will want to get more active.

MsMaryMac48

Sometimes when he say's "do you know how much I love you?" I say "apparently not so much that you want to be around for a long time" We both know I love to work out and he doesn't. So every now and then he needs reminding that he NEEDS to be exercising whether he loves it or not. He doesn't have much choice in the eating healthy most of the time since I do all the shopping and cooking but there are times when he goes over board (whenever he gets the chance) but getting him to workout is like pulling teeth. I am working really hard to get in to great shape to look fabulous on my fiftieth (wow is that even real) and he has pretty much thrown in the towel. It is frustrating. But you can't want it for them. and You can't do it for them. I spent years overweight and it wasn't until I WANTED to do more than WISH it was different did things change. Still praying he puts his health first. After one TIA I am still surprised he protests going to the gym so much.

I also told him to remember when he was confronted with tempting doughnuts to ask himself, "do I want to walk my daughter down the aisle at her wedding or do I want to eat this doughnut?" For a guy who has had one TIA and needs to be on medication for cholesterol AND high triglycerides donuts are never worth it. I don't care what the "all things in moderation" people have to say.

jstockler

I watched my husband put on 50-60 pounds over three years after he quit smoking. Anything I said or did just made things worse and I started to feel really sorry for myself in having no one to walk with and also, feeling very physically turned off to the man in my life. The person who did make a difference was his doctor, who kept up with routine blood testing that showed high chol and then finally, high blood glucose. He told Husband that he was on the path to needing injectable insulin but could probably turn the whole thing around by losing weight. And that did it...30 pounds off and he's very aware of eating properly,which makes it easier for me to cook and eat the way I want us to eat. He's still an extreme couch potato but I will just have to live with that. And he in turn has to live with me taking hiking vacations without him.

dcresider

I'm more fit than my husband but then he is on his feet all day for work plus he bikes to work. I work out 5x a week, including cardio and strength training. What I've noticed is that when I start getting more active, my husband follows suit a bit later on.