heard disturbing convo about weight today

PerfumedDog

Today I was at a clothing store. I heard the employee working there having a loud conversation with her friend about her weight. Her friend said that lately she became so fat and became 100 pounds. And then the employee said that she has always been around 100 pounds and then she became 105 pounds and people were all asking her, "OMG what happened to you? What have you been eating?"

Makes me want to never leave the house again....no joke

I want to accept my appearance before losing weight....I don't want to feel ashamed and hate my body.......it's a real struggle and hearing these things just reaffirms that other people think I'm fat and "omg what have you been eating"

meghanmarie79

I heard a girl in the next fitting room over from me at Old Navy ask her friend to get her a size 0 because the 2 was "just too big" ... I almost threw a pair of pants at her

Personally, I don't see a difference between 100 and 105, and I'm amused that this person was saying "Oh I'm so fat!" but I guess it's all relative. Gaining 5 pounds IS a big deal, at least for those of us trying to lose weight.

I wouldn't worry about other people, most of them have their own issues to deal with.

MinnieInMaine

What people think about you or themselves is really none of your business. Keep repeating that to yourself.

When I was obese I had thoughts like this so I kind of get it but seriously that's just not how people think.

My size 2 co-worker would make comments about how "fat" she feels and I would think if she's fat, what the hell does that make me, a huge tub of goo?! No, of course not. She knows she's not fat and she doesn't really care what size I am. She's just feeling bloated and self conscious and doesn't have enough class to keep her comments to herself. She's also never actually been overweight/obese so she doesn't really know what being fat means.

None of any of that noise matters. In the end, all that matters is whether or not you want to change. If you're not happy with your shape, do something about it. Let this be motivation if you need to. Do NOT let it get you down or derail your progress - that's backwards thinking, no?

auddii

Going from the username, I feel like this is a new incarnation of MayaDaya/BrightCristal/the other 70 usernames this person has created...

monkeywizard

I heard a girl in the next fitting room over from me at Old Navy ask her friend to get her a size 0 because the 2 was "just too big" ... I almost threw a pair of pants at her

Were they a size 0? That would have been nice of you =-)

seltzermint555

If I heard that I'd just laugh and think "silly girls" and move on.

KseRz

I overheard a conversation once. It was none of my concern so I stopped listening and went about my business.

Vanillatwilight3

Its probably does seem crazy but any tiny bit shows when you are small. I'm on my normal average about 110 and I'm 120 right now... Its noticeable not just by me... Its been noticed by others... Well by the BF and actually as a compliment because he likes it and rubbing my stomach... but for me just the way I perceive things it's got me wanting to get back down to that. And actually as crazy as it sounds I had a little extra meat at 110. No I'm not crazy, women in my family are just that tiny. Heck my grandmother was 97 until after a few kids and I had an aunt like that but they looked healthy. Me at my lowest was 100 but I don't feel like I need to be that I was perfectly fine at 110... And maybe those girls are a bit dramatic but its also pretty hard to lose those couple of pounds even people who come from a higher weight always have trouble losing those last few.

meghanmarie79

I heard a girl in the next fitting room over from me at Old Navy ask her friend to get her a size 0 because the 2 was "just too big" ... I almost threw a pair of pants at her

Were they a size 0? That would have been nice of you =-)

Haha! My ankles are a size 0

chocolatexxmintt

Personally, I distaste people who are either average or underweight making comments toward themselves regarding weight. Like what the heck ladies... I should be in 150's and I was in the 240's and I always think when I hear skinny mini's complaining how thet must think I'm so diguisting. It always made me feel huge and irrelvant.

QuietBloom

I overheard a conversation once. It was none of my concern so I stopped listening and went about my business.

What a novel idea!

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_lyndseybrooke_

Sounds like girls my husband and I would make fun of as I retold the story on the way home from shopping. "Oh em gee, I totally ate more than 500 calories today. I feel like such a cow!" Not that eating disorders are anything to make fun of...but we're bad people, so what the hell. I could easily squat those girls and I just started lifting a few weeks ago.

Call it body shaming, but I've never met a 100lb woman I found attractive unless she was 5' or shorter. My 10-year-old niece weighs more than 100 lbs. If my husband saw a woman that tiny, he'd be thinking, "damn girl, eat a cheeseburger." I have no desire to be that small, so I don't think it would bother me to hear them call themselves fat. I'm 99% sure they were doing it for attention or to make themselves feel good. Ugh, women!

Neither of those girls has a booty like mine, so they can have their thigh gaps and bikini bridges for all I care. Of course, that's just a saying - my booty isn't all that special.

QuietBloom

Personally, I distaste people who are either average or underweight making comments toward themselves regarding weight. Like what the heck ladies... I should be in 150's and I was in the 240's and I always think when I hear skinny mini's complaining how thet must think I'm so diguisting. It always made me feel huge and irrelvant.

When you are tempted to 'distaste' people because they voice concerns about their bodies, just think happy thoughts. And keep on trucking.

TavistockToad

Personally, I distaste people who are either average or underweight making comments toward themselves regarding weight.

how do you distaste someone?

TavistockToad

I want to accept my appearance before losing weight....I don't want to feel ashamed and hate my body.......it's a real struggle and hearing these things just reaffirms that other people think I'm fat and "omg what have you been eating"

noone was talking about you?

even thin people have issues about their weight... maybe you just do you, stop worrying about other people.

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TavistockToad

Personally, I distaste people who are either average or underweight making comments toward themselves regarding weight.

how do you distaste someone?

Spit

:laugh:

sgvdms

Personally, I distaste people who are either average or underweight making comments toward themselves regarding weight. Like what the heck ladies... I should be in 150's and I was in the 240's and I always think when I hear skinny mini's complaining how thet must think I'm so diguisting. It always made me feel huge and irrelvant.

They're probably not thinking about you tbh when they're talking about it.

I complain about how I look now, I complained when I weighed 50 pounds more.
If I gain 5 pounds now I complain as well, cos well when you're only 132 pounds, losing that 5, for me, takes forever.

martyqueen52

People like that need goat-sacked.

My wife has a friend of the same nature. She's a very pretty girl, who weighs about 110 soaking wet, and she consistently says she needs to lose weight, starves herself, and works out 3-4 times a day.

I personally tried helping her, but she's to young and has a clear mental problem that only a doctor can help cure / alleviate.

Plus, I like women who are NOT 100-120lbs..... **** is disgusting to me. When I touch my wife or hold her I prefer not to feel bone.... ugh...

TavistockToad

When I tough my wife or hold her I prefer not to feel bone.... ugh...

:huh:

sherambler

Were you ever made fun of growing up for being overweight? I was and I find I project myself into other people's conversations all the time. When you've spent the bulk of your life literally being the topic of conversation in the cafeteria or on the bus, it's hard not to take comments that don't involve you as something more sinister and personal. I believe my mother called it being "overly-sensitive". These types of comments and conversations will continue to bother you as long as you keep up with invalidating behaviors and thoughts. Thoughts like, "I'm stupid or lazy or ugly or not good enough or those girls are right or only 100 lbs is beautiful." You have to learn to challenge those thoughts until they no longer hold weight. It's not easy. It takes consistency, patience, and honesty. The truth is there will always be people who look at you (and me) with pity and disgust, there are people who look at those who weigh a mere 100 lbs in disgust, but we don't have to look at ourselves in the same way they do. They know nothing about you or your inner journey, and therefore, their opinion should mean nothing to you. But I get it, when you don't feel great about yourself, it's easy to take someone else's word over your own because it's hard to convince yourself otherwise.

I just try to keep in mind that everyone struggles with their weight and self-esteem. Even the most confident people have off days. I take the high road and try to be the bigger person (no pun intended, I swear). I don't degrudge someone for being smaller than me and I don't pity those fatter than me. I can't expect everyone to do the same, but this mentality helps me to not take everything people say so personally and allows me to focus on what I want for myself, not what I want in order to please strangers.

BTW, and I know this may sort of contradict what I said above, but these two girls sound like they may be on the precipice of some major body dysmorphia issues, so for this specific instance I would definitely take anything they said to one another with a grain of salt. They don't seem to have healthy self images of themselves, so any judgment you may have perceived is, in a way, poisonous and inaccurate.

martyqueen52

When I tough my wife or hold her I prefer not to feel bone.... ugh...

:huh:

Yea.... fixed that. I type way to fast and make a lot of things sound / look mildly retarded.

12by311

I heard a girl in the next fitting room over from me at Old Navy ask her friend to get her a size 0 because the 2 was "just too big" ... I almost threw a pair of pants at her

Personally, I don't see a difference between 100 and 105, and I'm amused that this person was saying "Oh I'm so fat!" but I guess it's all relative. Gaining 5 pounds IS a big deal, at least for those of us trying to lose weight.

I wouldn't worry about other people, most of them have their own issues to deal with.

5 lbs is also quite a bit for someone very petite.

Also, when should weight become a concern? Isn't it better if someone were to keep it in check early rather than waiting until it's 20 lbs and saying "Oh time to lose weight!"

bcattoes

I want to accept my appearance before losing weight....I don't want to feel ashamed and hate my body.......it's a real struggle and hearing these things just reaffirms that other people think I'm fat and "omg what have you been eating"

If you want to accept your appearance, then work on that. If you feel shame or hatred toward your body, then work on that. But I don't care what your body looks like, if you are waiting for the entire world to think you look great you are in for a very, very long wait.

Just work on how you feel. You can't change others. No matter how badly you might like to, you just can't.

forkofpower

'Skinny people' can have body image issues, just like overweight people.

ThatMouse

(I'm not sure if I'm replying to your right, MeghanMarie... I do not know how to forum. EDIT: Evidently, definitely do not know how to forum. Sorry - I'd have quoted, but I don't think I can do that going back...)

MeghanMarie, what if she'd been a size 12 a few years ago? And she's only now just fitting into that size 0?

For some context, I used to be up to a size 12 in this one brand (with consistent sizing so I can actually compare reliably! Yay!) - heck, I might've gone up to 16 at one point. I can't remember - I didn't want to.

Now, I'm a size 4, working down to a size 2. Will I ever by a size 0? Probably not, due to bone structure and a stocky, farmer-like build. But maybe I will - some of my other family members are size 0 with a similar structure.

Now, I've gone into change rooms and tried on a size 8, because I still have 25lbs to lose - I can't POSSIBLY fit into something smaller.

... Except I can. And a size 8 becomes a size 6. And then THAT'S too big, so it becomes a size 4. And I'm rejoicing with my friends because I remember when I was a size 12 and just barely squeezing into it.

So someone asking for a size 0 because a size 2 is too big shouldn't be something worth throwing pants at (unless it's the size she's looking for) - it's something to take as a celebration in stride. She's done it - celebrate with her (quietly, in your change room cubicle). Think about it - if you had the same thing happen, wouldn't YOU want someone to celebrate it with you instead of scoff and throw pants at you?



Replying to the OP:
If they were tall ladies, I can see that being a bit disturbing. But if they were like me (barely 5'), I can see it being totally acceptable. If I had maintained at 100lbs for a very long time, but then all of a sudden upped by 5lbs (assuming not due to water weight, shark week or unresolved... issues), I'd be concerned too. I'd tell my friends - because they've supported me in my weight loss and maintaining the loss - and I'm sure they'd be worried and asking about if anything changed.

But I'll agree with you in that a 5lbs difference is totally not worth freaking out over. I've dropped 7+lbs in two days and it turned out it was just water weight and... food on the way out, suffice to say.

That said, it's none of your business. Nor should it affect you. So this skinny lady gained 5lbs and her friends are freaking out - who flips a waffle? Not you. Her body is not yours. They were not talking about you, they were not even looking at you.

If conversations all around you are all of a sudden all ABOUT you, that's not their problem - it's yours. Until that sinks it, you'll find it hard to accept your body and love it. Only you need to love your body - if other people don't, that's not your problem.

martinel2099

I see more humor in that situation than anything. I'm a big guy now but I'd never ever want to date a woman that was that tiny. At 100 lbs that doesn't leave much room for boobs or an *kitten*, and what about love handles?

randomtai

When I touch my wife or hold her I prefer not to feel bone.... ugh...

That's what she said...

randomtai

Going from the username, I feel like this is a new incarnation of MayaDaya/BrightCristal/the other 70 usernames this person has created...

Definitely this!

Myhaloslipped

Everyone is insecure about something, no matter how perfect they appear to be.