how skinny is sexy?

rumezzo

I wonder if there is a way to stage a MyFitnessPal intervention. Can a user's account be cancelled when she is clearly using MFP to slowly kill herself via eating disorder? I'm actually not kidding. I actually thinking this forum might be enabling the original poster in her illness.

If you read any of the clean eating threads, it consistently comes up that there is the potential for developing Orthorexia nervosa. As a clean eater, I find this to be fear mongering especially when it comes up on the forums almost daily that someone is basically abusing the calorie tracker on MFP to lose an unhealthy amount of weight. MFP provides the tool but how it is used is up to the member. Only a very small segment of the MFP community use the forums so at best only a very, very small number of members abusing the calorie tracker are caught. MFP does cancel their accounts but nothing stops them from creating a new account and staying under the radar to continue with what they are doing. This is a major flaw to calorie counting in that the method does support eating disorders. That being said it is virtually impossible for MFP or any other site to stop a member from abusing the calorie counting tool. Even if they could, there are oodles of stand alone free/paid apps and software to achieve the same goal. Sadly, these folks will continue along that path of self-destruction until such time they seek help themselves or are forced to.

I agree with you. Obviously, cancelling an account on a free app just means someone could create a new one with different info. I admit my o/p was written somewhat hastily in horror. I have found MFP to be such a helpful, supportive environment as I connected with people I know on here and we encouraged each other. Just recently I began to explore the forums and have found some lovely conversations about running and other things. When I saw this, I wanted to cancel my account. It made me feel physically ill to read such unhealthy writing, and to see the helplessness of others trying to throw up red flags left and right, that we know will be ignored.

There's a difference between a genuine desire to help someone (which takes reading what they say, asking questions, and giving feedback), and making catty remarks and jumping to conclusions. In my honest opinion, the group on here that receives the worst treatment is the skinny ones. I don't know whether it's everyone's internal struggles with weight being projected on them or what, but it gets old after a while. We'll have endless debates about "fat shaming" and "fat acceptance" (with earnest arguments that we should all love ourselves no matter what), but the minute a thin girl/woman gets on here, the internet diagnoses of ANA and anorexia begin in earnest. I'm pretty sure that jumping to conclusions is the only exercise many posters get.

I didn't mean to start a debate I just wanted to hear opinions because I have talked to my hubby about what he likes and he said between 140 and 160 lbs and I just wasn't sure if it's because he just wants me to gain and not telling me honestly what he likes. And I hear so many different things from different people. One girl the other day asked me what my servery was to lose weight and I told her it's an illness and that she looks great and not to worry about her weight she smiled really big and thanked me and walked off with confidence and I felt jealous because I want to be healthy and confident and not live life counting and worrying.

Have you considered stopping counting? Perhaps you should just focus on healthy, balanced meals and stop counting. I really hope you are seeing a professional, who can obviously be of more assistance than any internet forum. Maybe you should just step away from MFP for a time. Even as a person who was overweight, and has had good success with MFP, there have been times I felt like the counting was making me obsessive, and it scared me a bit. I think that's why this thread struck a nerve with me. This is honestly the first post I've seen like this since I joined MFP, and it concerned me.

aniazawadzki

I wonder if there is a way to stage a MyFitnessPal intervention. Can a user's account be cancelled when she is clearly using MFP to slowly kill herself via eating disorder? I'm actually not kidding. I actually thinking this forum might be enabling the original poster in her illness.

If you read any of the clean eating threads, it consistently comes up that there is the potential for developing Orthorexia nervosa. As a clean eater, I find this to be fear mongering especially when it comes up on the forums almost daily that someone is basically abusing the calorie tracker on MFP to lose an unhealthy amount of weight. MFP provides the tool but how it is used is up to the member. Only a very small segment of the MFP community use the forums so at best only a very, very small number of members abusing the calorie tracker are caught. MFP does cancel their accounts but nothing stops them from creating a new account and staying under the radar to continue with what they are doing. This is a major flaw to calorie counting in that the method does support eating disorders. That being said it is virtually impossible for MFP or any other site to stop a member from abusing the calorie counting tool. Even if they could, there are oodles of stand alone free/paid apps and software to achieve the same goal. Sadly, these folks will continue along that path of self-destruction until such time they seek help themselves or are forced to.

I agree with you. Obviously, cancelling an account on a free app just means someone could create a new one with different info. I admit my o/p was written somewhat hastily in horror. I have found MFP to be such a helpful, supportive environment as I connected with people I know on here and we encouraged each other. Just recently I began to explore the forums and have found some lovely conversations about running and other things. When I saw this, I wanted to cancel my account. It made me feel physically ill to read such unhealthy writing, and to see the helplessness of others trying to throw up red flags left and right, that we know will be ignored.

There's a difference between a genuine desire to help someone (which takes reading what they say, asking questions, and giving feedback), and making catty remarks and jumping to conclusions. In my honest opinion, the group on here that receives the worst treatment is the skinny ones. I don't know whether it's everyone's internal struggles with weight being projected on them or what, but it gets old after a while. We'll have endless debates about "fat shaming" and "fat acceptance" (with earnest arguments that we should all love ourselves no matter what), but the minute a thin girl/woman gets on here, the internet diagnoses of ANA and anorexia begin in earnest. I'm pretty sure that jumping to conclusions is the only exercise many posters get.

I didn't mean to start a debate I just wanted to hear opinions because I have talked to my hubby about what he likes and he said between 140 and 160 lbs and I just wasn't sure if it's because he just wants me to gain and not telling me honestly what he likes. And I hear so many different things from different people. One girl the other day asked me what my servery was to lose weight and I told her it's an illness and that she looks great and not to worry about her weight she smiled really big and thanked me and walked off with confidence and I felt jealous because I want to be healthy and confident and not live life counting and worrying.

Have you considered stopping counting? Perhaps you should just focus on healthy, balanced meals and stop counting. I really hope you are seeing a professional, who can obviously be of more assistance than any internet forum. Maybe you should just step away from MFP for a time. Even as a person who was overweight, and has had good success with MFP, there have been times I felt like the counting was making me obsessive, and it scared me a bit. I think that's why this thread struck a nerve with me. This is honestly the first post I've seen like this since I joined MFP, and it concerned me.

Well I stopped counting but still had my meals memorized from habit of trying to mentally count and all the new foods and meals I added up the last 3 days (I consumed at least 3500 a day for three days) and I weighed myself this morning and I'm up 7 lbs which is scary because my husband was showing me what "normal" meals are but then we would add milk shakes to the meals

ironanimal

If you're up 7lbs from 95lbs, that sounds like progress to me.

aniazawadzki

If you're up 7lbs from 95lbs, that sounds like progress to me.

That's a little too fast of gaining though, for others it took months and for me it's only going to take days

LoupGarouTFTs

If you're up 7lbs from 95lbs, that sounds like progress to me.

That's a little too fast of gaining though, for others it took months and for me it's only going to take days

Not to be a pessimist, but the OP should not be attempting to gain weight on her own. She should be under a doctor's care to ensure that she does not regain it too quickly. The stress on her heart could be enormous and it could kill her if she gained too quickly. For all of you "are you a professional" people--it's been known to happen, so it's best that she not take matters into her own hands.

aniazawadzki

If you're up 7lbs from 95lbs, that sounds like progress to me.

That's a little too fast of gaining though, for others it took months and for me it's only going to take days

Not to be a pessimist, but the OP should not be attempting to gain weight on her own. She should be under a doctor's care to ensure that she does not regain it too quickly. The stress on her heart could be enormous and it could kill her if she gained too quickly. For all of you "are you a professional" people--it's been known to happen, so it's best that she not take matters into her own hands.

My doctor said not to count so I'm not sure what to do?

jalrashdi

Honestly sounds like you should be seeking advice from a doctor, not from posting in here. At first you are not happy with 95, you want skinnier, now you are gaining 7 lbs so I am assuming you are up to 102 lbs-you dont sound happy there either. Posting in here is not going to make you happy. No man or woman is going to fall all over you in these forums. This is honestly what it sounds like what you are wanting.

If you are trying to gain weight then an appropriate question would be, what are healthy meals that I can make to help gain some weight/muscle. There are alot of people in here who can help with that because they are gaining muscle/weight themselves.

If you are looking for healthy meals to lose weight then ask that. I could even tell you some that I have tried. I have great friends who have given me suggestions and tips on meals to lose weight.

Either way, you should be losing or gaining for yourself, not for someone else. I am losing weight for me because I want to be around for a long time to see my son grow up, graduate, get married, etc. I struggle, as most do, but I have finally learned to do it for me and not to please someone else.

If you are trying to please your husband, ask him. If he is so shallow that he only likes you a specific way, then you honestly do not have a great marriage. A marriage should last through everything. Because one day you will both wake up, be old, everything sagging, and should still see the beauty in each other, looks eventually go.

brianpperkins

If you're up 7lbs from 95lbs, that sounds like progress to me.

That's a little too fast of gaining though, for others it took months and for me it's only going to take days

Not to be a pessimist, but the OP should not be attempting to gain weight on her own. She should be under a doctor's care to ensure that she does not regain it too quickly. The stress on her heart could be enormous and it could kill her if she gained too quickly. For all of you "are you a professional" people--it's been known to happen, so it's best that she not take matters into her own hands.

My doctor said not to count so I'm not sure what to do?

Yet you started another thread complete with calorie counts.

See your PCM ... tell them you need a referral to an ED specialist. Your series of threads make it apparent that you are incapable of addressing your weight in a healthy manner. Get specialized professional help.

LoupGarouTFTs

Yet you started another thread complete with calorie counts.

See your PCM ... tell them you need a referral to an ED specialist. Your series of threads make it apparent that you are incapable of addressing your weight in a healthy manner. Get specialized professional help.

QFT

aniazawadzki

If you're up 7lbs from 95lbs, that sounds like progress to me.

That's a little too fast of gaining though, for others it took months and for me it's only going to take days

Not to be a pessimist, but the OP should not be attempting to gain weight on her own. She should be under a doctor's care to ensure that she does not regain it too quickly. The stress on her heart could be enormous and it could kill her if she gained too quickly. For all of you "are you a professional" people--it's been known to happen, so it's best that she not take matters into her own hands.

My doctor said not to count so I'm not sure what to do?

Yet you started another thread complete with calorie counts.

See your PCM ... tell them you need a referral to an ED specialist. Your series of threads make it apparent that you are incapable of addressing your weight in a healthy manner. Get specialized professional help.

I do seek help and they said not to count but then I eat my cravings so then I calculate out of curiosity and it all adds up a lot

brianpperkins

If you're up 7lbs from 95lbs, that sounds like progress to me.

That's a little too fast of gaining though, for others it took months and for me it's only going to take days

Not to be a pessimist, but the OP should not be attempting to gain weight on her own. She should be under a doctor's care to ensure that she does not regain it too quickly. The stress on her heart could be enormous and it could kill her if she gained too quickly. For all of you "are you a professional" people--it's been known to happen, so it's best that she not take matters into her own hands.

My doctor said not to count so I'm not sure what to do?

Yet you started another thread complete with calorie counts.

See your PCM ... tell them you need a referral to an ED specialist. Your series of threads make it apparent that you are incapable of addressing your weight in a healthy manner. Get specialized professional help.

I do seek help and they said not to count but then I eat my cravings so then I calculate out of curiosity and it all adds up a lot

So you're not following doctor's instructions.

I'd bet that the "doctor" is at best a generalist, not an ED specialist ... so a person who lacks the expertise to deal with the situation. You require a medical specialist. Trying to go from justifying 95 pounds at 5'6 to now claiming to eat over 3000 calories based on internet posts is insane.

aniazawadzki

How is that insane if not counting and eating 3000 calories adds up? I eat my cravings and it all adds up so how do I gain slowly without coubting? What kinds of meals?

TavistockToad

How is that insane if not counting and eating 3000 calories adds up? I eat my cravings and it all adds up so how do I gain slowly without coubting? What kinds of meals?

This is what you should be talking to your doctor about... Which was said on the first page...

brianpperkins

How is that insane if not counting and eating 3000 calories adds up? I eat my cravings and it all adds up so how do I gain slowly without coubting? What kinds of meals?

This is what you should be talking to your doctor about... Which was said on the first page...

Which is why she needs specialists treating her ... medical and psychological.

If we are to believe her posts she's gone from trying to lose weight while under 100 lbs by eating only triple digit calorie intakes to suddenly eating over 3000 calories a day within a week. That's one end of the pendulum arc to the other with no transition path from one point to the other. It's the physiological comparative of driving a car forward in 4th gear and shifting directly into reverse without coming off the gas or touching the brakes.

Good luck, OP. You'll need it as long as you look to message boards rather than specialized medical professionals to treat your ED.

yopeeps025

bump it up

enjolrasbarricade

Umm.. I think men who say they like curvy women don't big girls. They just want someone who is Kate Upton-curvy. Big boobs, nice behind but tiny waist and flat stomach. Just my thoughts.