For those who married young or are currently engaged
Replies
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Please please please don't get engaged at 18. You haven't even lived yet.
But to answer your question, he got my ring from Kay Jewelers and he got what he could afford. I was 20 when I got married (the first time) and I wish I could go back and slap the shlt out of me.
Also, please, please, please don't listen to this person.
I have been happily married for 3 years (engaged at 18, married at 21). I have lived more than some people I know in their 40s! If it feels right to you, it probably is right!!
LOL, come talk to me in 5 years.0 -
save your money.
if you rent, save for a down payment on a home.
if youre pregnant, save up for alllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll the insanity that things gonna cost.
if youre going to college, save up for your classes.
you see my pattern here.
a good relationship a ring does not make.
wanna give a symbol of your engagement? cool.
go spend $50 on a pretty ring or something.
when i got engaged my first time around, she was very clear...at least a carat in a big platinum setting.
not one to disappoint, i went and did that. the diamond was "ok" and i think i spent somewhere just over the $3k mark for it.
we broke up.
im happily married now (12 years in oct), and never got her an engagement ring. she couldnt have cared less.
we upgraded her wedding ring when we could afford it and she loves it.
imo engagement rings are kinda meh.0 -
Please please please don't get engaged at 18. You haven't even lived yet.
But to answer your question, he got my ring from Kay Jewelers and he got what he could afford. I was 20 when I got married (the first time) and I wish I could go back and slap the shlt out of me.
Also, please, please, please don't listen to this person.
I have been happily married for 3 years (engaged at 18, married at 21). I have lived more than some people I know in their 40s! If it feels right to you, it probably is right!!
I am sure that you know that not everything that feels right at 18 still feels right just a few years later.
OP, I strongly enoucrage you to wait. If she's the one, she'll still be around two or three years from now.0 -
We bought an appropriately sized (read: very small) ring that I adore and wear to this day and will not allow to be altered, even though our household income is approximately 5X what it was then.
My husband is a little bit embarrassed by the ring and would like to upgrade the diamonds but... no. I don't give a flying crap what size/quality the diamonds are. I love my ring.
We married at 22, and are very happy (though some years have been pretty bad) 11 years and 3 kids later.0 -
3 years?Please please please don't get engaged at 18. You haven't even lived yet.
But to answer your question, he got my ring from Kay Jewelers and he got what he could afford. I was 20 when I got married (the first time) and I wish I could go back and slap the shlt out of me.
Also, please, please, please don't listen to this person.
I have been happily married for 3 years (engaged at 18, married at 21). I have lived more than some people I know in their 40s! If it feels right to you, it probably is right!!
No the kid needs to listen to those cautioning.
Your story while sweet is not over.
Nor are marriages started that young usually lasting.
Not much more can happen now. We've been together 7 years, have 2 kids, lived together for 6 of the years. Fought, vacationed, etc. Not all marriages are destined to fail!0 -
a good relationship a ring does not make.
Listen to wise Master Yoda.0 -
I love all of you... but you're not going to talk an 18 year old out of marrying if they already have their mind made up about it. Nor does it actually mean it's doomed to fail (although statistically more likely). But hell, my parents have been married for over 40 years and they got engaged when they were 18.
Age is sometimes just a number.
Unless you're dating an older woman, cause HELL NO on that.
*gigglesnort*0 -
My wife and I went a historical route for ours. She hates diamonds (lucky me!...also hates roses and loves carnations...again lucky me!). We researched (well I researched) what historic concepts of engagement-like rings were and found interesting stuff. At some point they involved the pre-wife's birthstone surrounded by birthstones of pre-husband and family members. So we went with her birth"stone" in the middle (pearl) and mine around it (sapphires). Worked with a company when we lived in NH to replace stones in a mount we liked, and wha-la, done deal!
Sorry, didn't marry young or are currently engaged (26ish for me, <cough> for her), and have been married for 6 years. Just wanted to chime in.0 -
3 years?Please please please don't get engaged at 18. You haven't even lived yet.
But to answer your question, he got my ring from Kay Jewelers and he got what he could afford. I was 20 when I got married (the first time) and I wish I could go back and slap the shlt out of me.
Also, please, please, please don't listen to this person.
I have been happily married for 3 years (engaged at 18, married at 21). I have lived more than some people I know in their 40s! If it feels right to you, it probably is right!!
No the kid needs to listen to those cautioning.
Your story while sweet is not over.
Nor are marriages started that young usually lasting.
Not much more can happen now. We've been together 7 years, have 2 kids, lived together for 6 of the years. Fought, vacationed, etc. Not all marriages are destined to fail!
You're cute ;-)0 -
Honestly, my "wedding ring" is from Kohl's and cost me $20. The plan is to upgrade it on our 5th or 10th wedding anniversary.
We probably could have afforded to get something nice at the time, but we just bought a house and we have so many things going on in our lives that an expensive piece of jewelry just didn't seem right. The symbolism is still there, and just as strong.0 -
My wife and I went a historical route for ours. She hates diamonds (lucky me!...also hates roses and loves carnations...again lucky me!). We researched (well I researched) what historic concepts of engagement-like rings were and found interesting stuff. At some point they involved the pre-wife's birthstone surrounded by birthstones of pre-husband and family members. So we went with her birth"stone" in the middle (pearl) and mine around it (sapphires). Worked with a company when we lived in NH to replace stones in a mount we liked, and wha-la, done deal!
Sorry, didn't marry young or are currently engaged (26ish for me, <cough> for her), and have been married for 6 years. Just wanted to chime in.
That sounds freaking awesome. Any chance you have a pic?
Also, love carnations! I have no idea why they get such a bad rap. They're hearty and smell awesome.0 -
3 years?Please please please don't get engaged at 18. You haven't even lived yet.
But to answer your question, he got my ring from Kay Jewelers and he got what he could afford. I was 20 when I got married (the first time) and I wish I could go back and slap the shlt out of me.
Also, please, please, please don't listen to this person.
I have been happily married for 3 years (engaged at 18, married at 21). I have lived more than some people I know in their 40s! If it feels right to you, it probably is right!!
No the kid needs to listen to those cautioning.
Your story while sweet is not over.
Nor are marriages started that young usually lasting.
Not much more can happen now We've been together 7 years, have 2 kids, lived together for 6 of the years. Fought, vacationed, etc. Not all marriages are destined to fail!
Life can be a funny thing.0 -
My wife and I went a historical route for ours. She hates diamonds (lucky me!...also hates roses and loves carnations...again lucky me!). We researched (well I researched) what historic concepts of engagement-like rings were and found interesting stuff. At some point they involved the pre-wife's birthstone surrounded by birthstones of pre-husband and family members. So we went with her birth"stone" in the middle (pearl) and mine around it (sapphires). Worked with a company when we lived in NH to replace stones in a mount we liked, and wha-la, done deal!
Sorry, didn't marry young or are currently engaged (26ish for me, <cough> for her), and have been married for 6 years. Just wanted to chime in.
That sounds freaking awesome. Any chance you have a pic?
Also, love carnations! I have no idea why they get such a bad rap. They're hearty and smell awesome.
I'll have to get a picture...shouldn't be a problem.0 -
OP, when you truly want to be with someone for the rest of your life, what they put on your finger won't matter even a little bit.0
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My grandma gave him her first engagement and wedding band set.
Ps. Marriage sucks. Don't do it :laugh:
HA I think some first marriages suck0 -
What did you/your fiancé do for an engagement ring? Was it expensive? I've been reading around and I'm curious what you guys did!
Hubby bought me a diamond watch on sale at Zales (paid $600) and I thought he paid way too much! Yes, I've never had a ring...and certainly don't need one to look/appear/act like I'm married. Our anniversary is today...28 years and two grown kidlets later, I still don't have a ring (and don't wear that watch either)... Jewelry isn't what marriage is about. ps. I was 21 when married, and owned my own hair salon. A little advice... People advise against marrying young because they haven't "lived". Of course, no one but you knows if you are ready to settle down. To make a marriage work, I recommend each of you putting the other before yourselves. I'd also take the word "divorce" out of your vocabulary.0 -
3 years?Please please please don't get engaged at 18. You haven't even lived yet.
But to answer your question, he got my ring from Kay Jewelers and he got what he could afford. I was 20 when I got married (the first time) and I wish I could go back and slap the shlt out of me.
Also, please, please, please don't listen to this person.
I have been happily married for 3 years (engaged at 18, married at 21). I have lived more than some people I know in their 40s! If it feels right to you, it probably is right!!
No the kid needs to listen to those cautioning.
Your story while sweet is not over.
Nor are marriages started that young usually lasting.
Not much more can happen now. We've been together 7 years, have 2 kids, lived together for 6 of the years. Fought, vacationed, etc. Not all marriages are destined to fail!
She's making a scrapbook entitled "Stupid things I said in my 20's."
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A little advice... People advise against marrying young because they haven't "lived". Of course, no one but you knows if you are ready to settle down. To make a marriage work, I recommend each of you putting the other before yourselves, and taking the word "divorce" out of your vocabulary.
Seeing as others are giving advice here too lol..... My favorite quote:
Marriage Is not 50-50. Divorce is. Marriage has to be 100-100. It isn't about dividing everything in half, but giving everything you've got (even when it sucks and you dont feel you have to/should/deserve to......)0 -
Got married at 23. He picked out the ring himself. It cost a few bucks.0
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3 years?Please please please don't get engaged at 18. You haven't even lived yet.
But to answer your question, he got my ring from Kay Jewelers and he got what he could afford. I was 20 when I got married (the first time) and I wish I could go back and slap the shlt out of me.
Also, please, please, please don't listen to this person.
I have been happily married for 3 years (engaged at 18, married at 21). I have lived more than some people I know in their 40s! If it feels right to you, it probably is right!!
No the kid needs to listen to those cautioning.
Your story while sweet is not over.
Nor are marriages started that young usually lasting.
Not much more can happen now. We've been together 7 years, have 2 kids, lived together for 6 of the years. Fought, vacationed, etc. Not all marriages are destined to fail!
You're cute ;-)
What we need to see here is that not everyone is going to have the same relationship. Just because one marriage failed does not mean all will fail and vice versa. My husband and I started "going together" when we were 15 years old. We got married when I was 18 and this last January, we celebrated 18 years of marriage. That DOES NOT mean that everyone is going to be successful, by any means. All I am saying is that the only two people who will determine if this marriage is successful or not is the OP and her partner. Just sayin'0 -
save your money.
if you rent, save for a down payment on a home.
if youre pregnant, save up for alllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll the insanity that things gonna cost.
if youre going to college, save up for your classes.
you see my pattern here.
a good relationship a ring does not make.
wanna give a symbol of your engagement? cool.
go spend $50 on a pretty ring or something.
when i got engaged my first time around, she was very clear...at least a carat in a big platinum setting.
not one to disappoint, i went and did that. the diamond was "ok" and i think i spent somewhere just over the $3k mark for it.
we broke up.
im happily married now (12 years in oct), and never got her an engagement ring. she couldnt have cared less.
we upgraded her wedding ring when we could afford it and she loves it.
imo engagement rings are kinda meh.
This. So much this.
There are so many more important things to save up for than an expensive ring and an expensive wedding. Be prudent while you are young.
If you want a range? $50-$300 is reasonable.0 -
My husband was an A1C in the Air Force when we met. We're talking small potatoes for a salary.
We met at 19, married at 20.
I believe he was told the rule about One Month's Salary. I have a tiny little marquis cut diamond in a 14k gold band that he bought at the BX (AAFES/Base Exchange).
We've been married 16.5 years.
Some women don't care. Some women do. I'm not going to blind someone with my ring, but they are definitely blinded by my smile when I see my husband.0 -
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My wife and I went a historical route for ours. She hates diamonds (lucky me!...also hates roses and loves carnations...again lucky me!). We researched (well I researched) what historic concepts of engagement-like rings were and found interesting stuff. At some point they involved the pre-wife's birthstone surrounded by birthstones of pre-husband and family members. So we went with her birth"stone" in the middle (pearl) and mine around it (sapphires). Worked with a company when we lived in NH to replace stones in a mount we liked, and wha-la, done deal!
Sorry, didn't marry young or are currently engaged (26ish for me, <cough> for her), and have been married for 6 years. Just wanted to chime in.
That sounds lovely! I LOVE my birthstone. I'd be good with that.0 -
I'd so much rather have a bathroom installed in my basement than a ring...
I'm suck a f*ckin romantic.0 -
I am getting married on August 8th
Craig's list. I found several people selling rings locally, and I got a really nice ring from a guy that had his fiance ditch him prior to the wedding. We met at our local jewelry store, they checked it out, told me it was a fantastic deal. I bought it, had it gone thru by the store, they made sure prongs were tight and all that. They gave me a 2 year warranty on it for servicing and all. That's was only 30 bucks.
Got a 900 ring for 300 bucks! well 330 I guess
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The ring totally depends on the couple. Only you will know....what she likes and what you like. Marriage is about you both. Does it have to be a ring? Are you both that traditional? My husband and I are happily married, it will be 14 years in August. My ring was purchased at chain store and it was special because he made the effort. So my best advice.....get to know each other some more...at such a young age you have so much more to see, do, and learn...that said do people get married at 18 and it last? absolutely....do people get married at 18 and regret it, yup......you have to live your life and be ready for what your dealt. I will tell you what I tell my son....enjoy life for a bit....get college out of the way, travel, do all those things you dream of. Like the guy earlier said if she is the one now, she will be the one a few years from now....have fun together!! Then get married.....and in my opinion.....don't waste your money on a big party for everyone else. Make the wedding about the two of you. Good luck in Life 0
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p.s. as for just saving the money, and doing somehting else - I disagree. I wanted my girl to have a single, solitaire diamond on her finger. An engagement ring. Taken!
She's mine 0 -
Wish I could find that video I saw about the truth behind engagement rings...
This one:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N5kWu1ifBGU
It's funny, entertaining, and very true.0
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