Why bother?!

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135

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  • devil_in_a_blue_dress
    devil_in_a_blue_dress Posts: 5,214 Member
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    It's gonna hurt me. It's gonna kill when you desert me. This happened to me twice before, it won't happen to me anymore...
  • fredgiblet
    fredgiblet Posts: 241 Member
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    Oddly enough I'm getting compliments but not seeing the difference myself. The only change that I see is that my belt needs to be pulled further to be tight, but my gut seems to be the same size. All the same I've got a bunch of people saying that I definitely look skinnier.
  • hiphopbunnie
    hiphopbunnie Posts: 37
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    people are usually not so great at noticing things about other people until theres a significant change. keep going! they'll notice!
  • albayin
    albayin Posts: 2,524 Member
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    I had a conversation with a coworker about this stuff the other day. We are pretty close. He said people do notice but most choose not to say anything because it's a very gray area and sensitive topic. Sometimes you think you pay a compliment but outcome could be totally reverse.
  • georgina1970
    georgina1970 Posts: 333 Member
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    Try wearing more form fitting clothes.
    Start a lifting programme to tone all (if any) the wobbly bits :-))
  • fredgiblet
    fredgiblet Posts: 241 Member
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    I had a conversation with a coworker about this stuff the other day. We are pretty close. He said people do notice but most choose not to say anything because it's a very gray area and sensitive topic. Sometimes you think you pay a compliment but outcome could be totally reverse.

    This is true. "Have you lost weight?" Can easily be translated to "You're a fatass, but not quite as big as before." by a lot of people.
  • Alatariel75
    Alatariel75 Posts: 17,959 Member
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    I had a conversation with a coworker about this stuff the other day. We are pretty close. He said people do notice but most choose not to say anything because it's a very gray area and sensitive topic. Sometimes you think you pay a compliment but outcome could be totally reverse.

    This is true. "Have you lost weight?" Can easily be translated to "You're a fatass, but not quite as big as before." by a lot of people.

    Very true. "Looking good, have you lost weight?" can be taken as "you were fat before, good on you for not being so fat now!" or, if they compliment you on weight loss and you haven't actually lost weight, then it might be taken as them thinking you need to... I think people are scared to say anything, sometimes!
  • SKME2013
    SKME2013 Posts: 704 Member
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    I'm in a healthy weight range now (but didn't used to be). I've lost around 28lbs, yet not one person has commented on the change. Why do I even bother? Why don't I just eat a loada ice cream and cake since I obviously looked the same when I was 28lbs heavier?!

    Sometimes people don't say a word because saying "you look great, did you lose weight", implies that you have been considered overweight before.
    Stef.
    Edit: sorry did not read all the answers and have just seen others posted the same before me.
  • ninerbuff
    ninerbuff Posts: 48,583 Member
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    Do you need the recognition from someone else to verify if your lost weight counts or not?

    A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
    IDEA Fitness member
    Kickboxing Certified Instructor
    Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
  • TayzerFun
    TayzerFun Posts: 45 Member
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    I'm down a little over 80 pounds and it wasn't until I was down the first 40 or so that people began to occasionally comment. Even now, they are very few and far between. Mostly, people don't want to embarrass someone who may be sick or have other issues that cause weight loss. Just because they don't say anything doesn't mean they don't notice. Make a light hearted, self deprecating crack about your weight loss and see if they don't open up. Some just need a bit of an invitation.

    This exactly. Also if the weight loss was super gradual and you see someone all the time, they may not realize the change. However, if it was super quick, they may think you have some Illness where you are struggling to keep weight on.. Weight is a hard thing to talk about. People would rather not risk offending you, rather than give you a compliment. I've lost a good amount of weight and people are very sheepish about mentioning it, even if it's kind obvious. Don't take it to heart too much. :)
  • whitebalance
    whitebalance Posts: 1,655 Member
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    Try wearing more form fitting clothes.
    Start a lifting programme to tone all (if any) the wobbly bits :-))
    This. Nobody outside my immediate family commented on my 40-pound loss until I showed up in booty jeans and a snug-fitting t-shirt. I guess that was their signal that, yes, I did this on purpose and it was safe to notice.
  • kdeaux1959
    kdeaux1959 Posts: 2,675 Member
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    There can be any couple of reasons for this.

    1. It may be that they just have not noticed yet... Is there a difference? Of course. but I did not really hear people telling me how much I had lost until much later in the process... I was probably down about 50-60 lbs before I heard many comments.

    2. People may be being polite. There are those who don't feel comfortable discussing these matters with you. It implies that they thought you WERE overweight and they may not want to take that step yet.

    Now, really, you need to lose weight for yourself. It is nice for others to notice... It is really encouraging when that happens. If others noticing is really important to you, post some before/after pics on this site ... most of us are more likely to be supportive of each other because we are all focused on similar goals.. We are encouraged by your progress.

    BTW .. you are down 28 lbs... Congrats. That is quite an accomplishment and best wishes on your further success... AND, if you want that cake and ice cream.. enjoy it.. Then get back to work creating a new you...
  • Aaron_K123
    Aaron_K123 Posts: 7,122 Member
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    I'm in a healthy weight range now (but didn't used to be). I've lost around 28lbs, yet not one person has commented on the change. Why do I even bother? Why don't I just eat a loada ice cream and cake since I obviously looked the same when I was 28lbs heavier?!

    Did you do it for you or did you do it for "other people"?
  • pyrowill
    pyrowill Posts: 1,163 Member
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    This is assuming that the only reason you lost the weight is to look better. I'm sure your knees are telling you you look much better.
  • beautifulwarrior18
    beautifulwarrior18 Posts: 914 Member
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    If you lost weight for everyone else to notice you did it for all the wrong reasons. Hope you're just having a bad day and your attitude toward your health improves
  • fit_gal
    fit_gal Posts: 167
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    You shouldn't be bothered whether someone is commenting or not. A positive comment or two are a bonus. The weightloss is meant to be for you and you alone. You're the one putting in the effort/work. Its your body. Your health. Try and stay strong and remember WHY you're on this journey xxx
  • Muffie22
    Muffie22 Posts: 77 Member
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    5K in 10 minutes? Am I missing anything? this is ridiculously fast...

    Badly worded lol. I meant the longest I'd managed to run for without giving up before running the 5k was 10 mins
  • Muffie22
    Muffie22 Posts: 77 Member
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    If you lost weight for everyone else to notice you did it for all the wrong reasons. Hope you're just having a bad day and your attitude toward your health improves

    I was having an awful day with a bunch of stuff going on (not related to this) and just kinda felt frustrated with everything and kinda needed a rant. I like to think normally i have a better attitude than 'everyone needs to look at me and tell me how wonderful i am'
  • misscem94
    misscem94 Posts: 114 Member
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    I'm in a healthy weight range now (but didn't used to be). I've lost around 28lbs, yet not one person has commented on the change. Why do I even bother? Why don't I just eat a loada ice cream and cake since I obviously looked the same when I was 28lbs heavier?!

    Only one person, who I see 2/3 times weekly, noticed when I dropped the first 10 pounds and then on. It wasn't until I lost 33 pounds that other people started noticing.

    The compliments are nice (more than nice, even!), but you are doing this for your health. If you feel great and are happy, this will be picked up by others.
  • sarainiowa
    sarainiowa Posts: 287 Member
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    Never do this for anyone but yourself. When your weight and emotions depend on others, it's time for a reality check. Love yourself and see results.

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