Help me with a wedding debate

seltzermint555

I've only been to one wedding since moving to Long Island, and it was truly an "affair." It seemed to me there were many, many more people at the reception than at the actual wedding, but my husband and I did attend both because where I grew up (Southern US) that was what you did. It does seem to be regional to me.

On a side note, at the ceremony (in a huge, beautiful Catholic church) my husband wore a suit and tie and I wore a nice "Sunday" dress. I saw people there in torn jeans, shorts, etc. The reception wasn't until the evening so we went home in between. When it was time to get ready I put back on the "Sunday" dress and my husband said, "Is that what you're wearing?" He seemed to think it was going to be much more formal. I said "If people were wearing torn jeans to the actual ceremony, can you imagine how casual the reception is going to be? I look fine." I couldn't have been more wrong. Sequins, up-dos, high heels, the works. I broke down in tears and made him take me home to put on a formal dress. When we were asked later where we disappeared to, I just told everyone I had a wardrobe malfunction. I couldn't believe how much more emphasis was put on the party than on the ceremony.

OMG that is seriously one of the weirdest things I've ever heard, at least coming from my perspective based on experiences I've had. I live in a Midwestern city with a lot of people from other areas so I have attended a pretty wide variety of weddings, but I'm close enough to the South to have a similar general view.

WOW!

CCSavage88

Depends on what you were invited to, if your invitation states yourself & (guest) with no mention of reception invite only then you attend both, if it requests just your presence at just the reception then you attend only the reception. You also do NOT take your boyfriend unless he was invited as well, never assume he was included or you can bring a guest. They are not accounted for and it is a breach of etiquette.

rachelrb85

I'm with you on this one. If you're going to come and eat my food, drink my wine, and dance to my music, you've got to sit through the ceremony first.

I second this wholeheartedly

Hellbent_Heidi

I'm with you on this one. If you're going to come and eat my food, drink my wine, and dance to my music, you've got to sit through the ceremony first.

.

Sorry, but this reeks of the Bridezilla mentality to me...

Let's not forget most people who are coming to eat "your" food, drink "your" wine, dance to "your" music, are also bringing a gift for YOU. They may give money, or went out and bought something special that you registered for (and quite possibly sat though your wedding shower - with another gift - already, and/or spent money at your bachelor/bachelorette party prior to the wedding day). They may have taken off work early, bought a new dress, or shirt, and tie, or even new shoes and got their hair done all to come to your wedding and celebrate with you.

A lot of people don't even enjoy weddings, so honestly, unless they're supposed to play a special part in the ceremony, if someone can't come to the church or ceremony, can't you just appreciate that they came out to dance and celebrate with you?

hookilau

Just a thought:

What bride and groom actually remembered EVERYONE they saw that attended the wedding and reception?

Just my experience. My family is HUGE. Just inviting family alone would pretty much fill up a church. Which is why my DW and I didn't care if some friends and relatives didn't make the wedding. The reception seemed to be much more important because that way we could thank them for attending and interact with them.

A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition

Believe it or not, I did. Not EVERYONE, but most folks. Not on purpose though. It just so happens that after all the planning & stuff, when time came to get out of the limo, I refused. Don't know why...just did not want to get out of the car. Boy, was that limo driver pissed off. :laugh:

After some choice words, I decided it was more hostile in there than outside...so I got out for lack of any place else to go. Then, for some reason, as I was going down the aisle with my dad, I was searching the crowd. Not sure why, but I remember wondering who these people were as I didn't recognize a lot of them.

Shrug. I'd never done anything so 'big' before. Never went to prom, had a birthday party or any such thing where I was the main event, so I guess that's why I froze.

There were also lots of photographs being taken, so very little escaped me We gave out disposable cameras so people were taking pics of each other. We had a fairly small wedding compared to some I suppose, a total of about 100 or so guests.