Should I be offended? (Pt 2)
Yesterday, I posted about an individual in my company who farted in my presence without comment. I have an update worth remembering. For those of you who haven't read it, here you go:
http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/1315222-should-i-be-offended
After asking, I received many varied thoughts on actions I should take. Some thought I should be offended. Others assumed he was in love with me. Even a few suggested a fart back. While I am not a person to automatically retaliate or jump to conclusions, I decided to confront the enthusiastic farter, aka Jeff.
I made an excuse to walk over to his building and drop off some supplies. I chatted with another sales rep, asking casually how Jeff was doing in his new position. The guy replied, "He is weird as f#@k.". Obviously I was not surprised. So I made my way to Jeff's office, and knocked on the door. He told me to come in.
"Hey Jeff, I wanted to say thank you for the donut. Did you have some left over from national donut day?"
"No."
"Okay... Why did you give only me one?"
"Because you like them."
Now get this, I have never told him I like donuts. How does he know that?
"Well thank you. I have something to ask you."
"Yeah?"
"Why did you fart in my office? Why didn't you say anything? Is that why you gave me the donut?"
HE LOOKED ME DEAD IN THE EYES AND SAID
"I never farted in your office."
"Yes. You did."
"No, no I didn't."
"You farted Jeff, you farted and stared me right in the eyes and farted. No apology. And your donut doesn't make it okay."
Not sure why, but at this point I was really pissed off. Why fart and not even be honest? It isn't like I can imagine smells!
"Oh, yeah. That. Yeah. I farted."
"Why did you look at me while you did it? Why didn't you say anything?"
"I don't know, I didn't think you were policing my farts."
"Well, please bring air freshener next time, or use the restroom twenty feet away from my office."
Then he has this little attitude.
"I will fart where and when I want to."
"Don't fart in my office."
"Okay, I'll fart outside your door."
"What is wrong with you?"
"Nothing. Don't tell me how to fart."
Then, can't even make this up, he tried to get up and give me a hug.
I walked out of there and sat at my desk, still utterly confused. I may have met the wierdest f&*%ing person on the entire planet. What do I do now? I don't even know.
http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/1315222-should-i-be-offended
After asking, I received many varied thoughts on actions I should take. Some thought I should be offended. Others assumed he was in love with me. Even a few suggested a fart back. While I am not a person to automatically retaliate or jump to conclusions, I decided to confront the enthusiastic farter, aka Jeff.
I made an excuse to walk over to his building and drop off some supplies. I chatted with another sales rep, asking casually how Jeff was doing in his new position. The guy replied, "He is weird as f#@k.". Obviously I was not surprised. So I made my way to Jeff's office, and knocked on the door. He told me to come in.
"Hey Jeff, I wanted to say thank you for the donut. Did you have some left over from national donut day?"
"No."
"Okay... Why did you give only me one?"
"Because you like them."
Now get this, I have never told him I like donuts. How does he know that?
"Well thank you. I have something to ask you."
"Yeah?"
"Why did you fart in my office? Why didn't you say anything? Is that why you gave me the donut?"
HE LOOKED ME DEAD IN THE EYES AND SAID
"I never farted in your office."
"Yes. You did."
"No, no I didn't."
"You farted Jeff, you farted and stared me right in the eyes and farted. No apology. And your donut doesn't make it okay."
Not sure why, but at this point I was really pissed off. Why fart and not even be honest? It isn't like I can imagine smells!
"Oh, yeah. That. Yeah. I farted."
"Why did you look at me while you did it? Why didn't you say anything?"
"I don't know, I didn't think you were policing my farts."
"Well, please bring air freshener next time, or use the restroom twenty feet away from my office."
Then he has this little attitude.
"I will fart where and when I want to."
"Don't fart in my office."
"Okay, I'll fart outside your door."
"What is wrong with you?"
"Nothing. Don't tell me how to fart."
Then, can't even make this up, he tried to get up and give me a hug.
I walked out of there and sat at my desk, still utterly confused. I may have met the wierdest f&*%ing person on the entire planet. What do I do now? I don't even know.
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Replies
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OMG I can't stop laughing. Can you imagine being the person walking by hearing this argument? It is so obsurd. I'm surprised you didn't say anything about him calling you a double minority, or something like that. I don't recall the actual term you stated.
Edit to correct: Minority Haul was the phrase used....Still funny0 -
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"Nothing. Don't tell me how to fart."
I'm sorry.
This cracked me up.0 -
Dude, love your picture. Best movie ever.This story keeps getting better. He is a weird F**k. Sounds like he won't fart in your office again, I guess. Dammit! I wish this was happening to me. So many ways to get back at him.0 -
DON'T POLICE MY FARTS!!!!!!!! :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:0
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I may or may not have posted this in your first thread but OH. MY GOD. Don't police my farts I can't even
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ohh my GAH!!! If I were you, I would make it a point to walk by his office once a day and check for duct tape, rope and any sharp objects. It is possible he is plotting to torture you a good while, then kill you. Perhaps you should take a sharp object inventory check? Maybe it is one of those things where it makes him feel manly you know? Like how guys burp or fart in front of you? But it's strange as he didn't CLAIM it. Usually the boasting male will claim it "yeeaaauup buddy, that was mine" nope. nada. zilch. DENIED. I worry the fart wars have begun. His butt is on the warfront and you are sitting in the line of fire my friend. My pity is among you!!!!0
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OMFG!! That was the best!! I can believe he said anything about the policing of farts!!! This is way too funny. If you take no futher action at leat your tried to "clear the air" with farty pants Jeff. I say is he continues to do this you have no choice but to fight fire with fire. Have a couple of protien shakes and fire back. Great post! Really made me chuckle!!0
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:laugh:0
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Best. Nickname. Ever.OMFG!! That was the best!! I can believe he said anything about the policing of farts!!! This is way too funny. If you take no futher action at leat your tried to "clear the air" with farty pants Jeff. I say is he continues to do this you have no choice but to fight fire with fire. Have a couple of protien shakes and fire back. Great post! Really made me chuckle!!0 -
Proud of you for confronting/discussing.
Keep some nice Febreeze spray handy just in case.0 -
I feel bad for laughing, because I don't mean to laugh at your expense but wow, I cannot believe how weird this guy actually is. Those are not conversations that I would expect two humans to have outside of a Seth Rogan movie0
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DON'T POLICE MY FARTS!!!!!!!! :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
This!!!!!!!!0 -
These have been the best two stories I have read in a long time lol. I can't stop laughing :laugh:0
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"policing farts" yeah, that made me chuckle0
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Best. Nickname. Ever.OMFG!! That was the best!! I can believe he said anything about the policing of farts!!! This is way too funny. If you take no futher action at leat your tried to "clear the air" with farty pants Jeff. I say is he continues to do this you have no choice but to fight fire with fire. Have a couple of protien shakes and fire back. Great post! Really made me chuckle!!
I'm glad I'm not the only one that LOL'ed at Farty Pants Jeff hahahahaaaa0 -
I feel bad for laughing, because I don't mean to laugh at your expense but wow, I cannot believe how weird this guy actually is. Those are not conversations that I would expect two humans to have outside of a Seth Rogan movie
I would laugh so hard if it were anyone but me. But this feels like a challenge of sorts. It was crazy. Maybe the weirdest conversation I have ever had.0 -
OMG, this update has me CTFU :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: thanks SO much for keeping us posted on the office farter!!0
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I am so happy I could make a funny!!
Best. Nickname. Ever.OMFG!! That was the best!! I can believe he said anything about the policing of farts!!! This is way too funny. If you take no futher action at leat your tried to "clear the air" with farty pants Jeff. I say is he continues to do this you have no choice but to fight fire with fire. Have a couple of protien shakes and fire back. Great post! Really made me chuckle!!
I'm glad I'm not the only one that LOL'ed at Farty Pants Jeff hahahahaaaa0 -
Kind of reminds me of the interview scene with Rogan, Will Farrell and John C. Reily in "Step Brothers" !!I feel bad for laughing, because I don't mean to laugh at your expense but wow, I cannot believe how weird this guy actually is. Those are not conversations that I would expect two humans to have outside of a Seth Rogan movie
I would laugh so hard if it were anyone but me. But this feels like a challenge of sorts. It was crazy. Maybe the weirdest conversation I have ever had.0 -
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I'd eat a nice fresh salad containing lots of raw onions and broccoli and would proceed to crop dust him throughout the work day.0
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Why does this conversation remind me of my kids arguing? :laugh:0
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I am sorry, but you arguing with him about a fart.........mmmmm which one of you is supposed to be sane???????? Not much going on at work I see.0
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I am dying. My day has been made. This sounds like an argument between me and my husband.0
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:flowerforyou:0
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So it is unacceptable to openly fart in someone else's office or in the general population?0
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So it is unacceptable to openly fart in someone else's office or in the general population?
One of my clients farts so bad every single time she comes in to take a pee test. She always apologizes. But hey, we're in the bathroom so I figure it's her domain.0 -
Brilliant! Thanks for the update OP! it's made my day!0
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I kind of think he was hoping for silent-but-deadly... and just failed at the silent part. Now he is utterly embarrassed and pretty annoyed that the OP has made such a big deal of it so has attempted to turn it into an inside joke.
Anyone else get the feeling that OP has met her future husband and just hasn't realized it yet?0
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