How would you feel?

QueenofHobbies

I would never be fool enough to believe that men don't have their "favorites" when they look at women et al, nor do we women have the ability to deny we have our own preferences in men when we look at them. That said, I would never go about giving my husband a catalog of the reasons why he falls short of being the perfect physical specimen. I love him- he is the love of my life, and there are plenty of things on any given day I could list in detail about his body and his mind that I adore. You're a beautiful woman IMO- and if he doesn't realize that then it's his own loss, truly. I would wonder how he thinks upgraded tits, legs and *kitten* will assist him when he's either retiring or on his deathbed or something lol. We're people- not parts- and at the very least your SO needs to learn sensitivity and empathy. At the worst he needs to just be let go.

fatcity66

Eff that guy!

Tell him how his **** isn't big enough, but his face is ok...
Them promptly dump his *kitten*. Serziously, WAT?

psmd

Even though I hate over-simplifying situations and there is almost always more to the story, this one seems pretty clear cut. A boyfriend should think you are the hottest thing around, and if he doesn't he is not the right one for you. This is the kind of thing that will continue to make you feel bad and is not worth trying to change or address (in my personal opinion).

Sorry that sucks though

ew_david

You're both young. Young people say dumb shlt all the time. However, why would you stay with someone who makes you feel like crap? There is someone out there who wants you for you and all that you have, not just bits and pieces that are acceptable to him.

srslybritt

Hmmmmmm. Not going to pretend like I know your relationship, but do you guys get along well?

None of that should be as important to him as much as you as a person. If for whatever reason he values your physical/bodily appearance more than you, your heart and mind, then maybe it's time to re-evaluate.

That being said, I'm sure he's not a bad guy. And he's with you for a reason, right? It sounds like he tried to backtrack after he realized he hurt your feelings, so if he's really a nice guy and you know he cares about you, accept that it happened and move on. If he loves you, that's what counts.

ETA: If he's a doucher and regularly talks down to you, definitely throw him overboard.

EATA: Screw all of what I put above. I missed the part about the other things. Screw him, gingers are sexy. Go find a guy who's willing to love you for all that you are.

sfbaumgarten

I'd feel single.

shireeniebeanie

Sounds like a real winner, skip replacing your jeans and replace him instead!

^^This.

And what the hell is he--God's gift to women?

Trust us, he sucks. You're already hotter than he is, and such better men are out there, dying to date you.

DUMP THE CHUMP!!

I_Will_End_You

When people ask me my "type", I prefer dark hair and skin, light eyes. My favorite body part? I love hip bones and the area around them. I like the curve of them, the smoothness. My boyfriend is pale and freckly, has light brown/red hair and there are no visible hipbones. (he does have light green eyes, though, I'll give him that). I'm 100% attracted to him and still completely in love after 5 years. Just sayin.

feherd

my boobs he assures me that they aren't the worst he's seen but adds nothing to that and then goes on to tell me that I need to buy jeans that fit my butt better....

----

"Im not his type, but I have a great personality/face" "I never thought Id date a redhead" These comments that have come out of his mouth only hurt and slowly diminish any confidence I carry. I have told him this before, he makes me feel unwanted, unappealing.

Dude... F--k that guy.
If my boyfriend was like that... well, he wouldn't be my boyfriend anymore.

My bf is naturally very thin (and has a really hard time gaining weight,) while I put on about 13 lbs last year in a few months due to needing to go back on thyroid meds, and he never once made me feel bad about it. He never even mentioned it. And now that I'm in the process of losing weight, I sometimes whine about my chest being smaller and he tells me I'm crazy and that they still look amazing and not to even worry about it.

If he makes you feel bad, then that isn't the right relationship for you. Move on and be with someone who will appreciate you!

And holy hell that boob comment... they aren't the worst he's ever seen? just wooooowwww... what a charmer he is...

MomTo3Lovez

Wow what a jerk...clearly doesn't know what he has in you already and that's just sad. If it were me and he said something like that I would turn around and state "Yeah I didn't think I would be with anyone with a small "package" either, but hey your face I like". But that's me. Good luck!

oedipa_maas

Feeling eff you is a very reasonable response!

Maybe you should take it upon yourself to regularly give him details about what you like in a man. Bring it up at least every week. Go into extreme detail. Focus on a part of his body that is "okay" and "at least you have that going for you."

What does stooping down to his level do? It doesn't make her any better of a person. BTW I am also dealing with issues of taking the high road and being the better person.

I meant it partly in jest. And many of us take the high road; I know it's hard, and it's great you can do that. Truly!

farfromthetree

Sorry to be blunt... You are 23 and beautiful. Concentrate on being the best you can be and if he still continues to say hurtful things (which, btw, is his way of keeping you insecure so you will not leave him) I would dump his behind. You are so young, be patient and love yourself. The right person will come along and you will know it because they will make you feel BETTER about yourself.

oregonzoo

I'd back away from dating guys like that. It's not normal to talk that way to your girlfriend. Plenty of men will not.

He should be honored to walk into a room with you.

emdeesea

Have to add - in all seriousness, the best way to handle this is to just straight up talk to him. Tell him in no uncertain terms that you don't appreciate being reduced and degraded like that and that this little boy, Alpha Male negging BS is not acceptable behavior.

Sometimes you have to stand up for yourself. And his response may not be pretty but tough. The last thing you need in life is to spend it with someone who makes you feel badly about yourself.

mereditheve

He would benefit from thinking before he speaks... and adhering to the old adage "if you don't have something nice to say, don't say anything at all"

I personally would not be with anyone who compared me to other women in such a crude and immature way. The only "comparison" my husband ever makes is to tell me how he's always so proud and feels sorry for all the other men in the world because he already got the best woman out there.

dawnmcneil10

Not being someone's type does not mean they automatically are not happy with you. Many people end up with life long companions that are no where near their type because as time goes on bodies fade but the personality becomes more vibrant.

Men do tend to base their attraction to woman on the 3 very things you mentioned however how do you as a woman look at the male body? Just something to think about.

Instead of worrying about fitting into what your mind perceives as what he wants just focus on what you want. If he is the right man for you that will work out if he's not then he'll just kind of fade away. It's not easy to do but look at yourself and find the positive things. For example, you're short which makes you petite there are woman out there with those long legs at 6 feet tall who would give anything to be a petite and feminine woman.

This is YOUR journey, make it amazing!