When She Calls and Asks You Out.

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MrTolerable
MrTolerable Posts: 1,593 Member
in Chit-Chat
Ladies & Gentleman of MFP- Simple Simple question.

Not being manipulative or anything I want to take the gentlemanly route - concerning etiquette.

- Lady called me last night to ask me to see 'The Fault in Our Stars' with her. - I've taken her out about 3 times now, twice for dinner and she was my companion for a bar hopping night (one nice thing about being clean and sober is I get to be the DD, which ironically typically makes me the authority figure for the entire night for everyone :wink: ) - not being a smartbutt just a funny observation.

I have not however seen her or talked to her for about a month/month and a half - but she has been in Mexico for the past three weeks, I guess we just forgot about each other or something?



Any who - On ALL the occasions just like every girl I have ever dated I paid for everything. -I have NEVER ever split a tab, or had her pay - even girls I have been in 2-3 week relationships with never pay a $.01. My female friends and guy friends CONSTANTLY give me grief about this and say I should be 'going dutch' - but everytime a bill comes up I just throw cash at it.

sooo - would it be cool if I didn't cover this tab for this movie because she asked me out?

Like she doesn't speak English insanely well so I always have ordered her food for her and do all the talking to servers and etc. sooo idk how the conversation would play out - like do I ask her for cash while we are in line?

how do you guys, orrr ladies how does your guy approach this situation?

And she also asked me to go on a 2 day vacation with her to her beach home in July, which I agree'd to because we both have been working on our six packs so I was joking about how attractive pics of us will be.. should I just cover this because I'm not paying for the vaca in NJ since it's her place?

Also, I'm not sure if this makes a huge difference but she is from Mexico - but she has been in the states for 8 months now - sooo... she wasn't part of being brought up in the feminist movement but she obviously dates a ton of guys and I'm sure a bunch of them have made her cover the tab or split it. ...seeems very common with my friends at least.

^not saying anything is wrong with or without the feminist movement btw - I'm just relaying an observation.


..regardless wuts the classy approach here mfp?!
:drinker:

edit: She is from Mexico but she lived in Europe for the past three years before coming to the states. - sooo she is very cultured - not sure if that changes anything either.
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Replies

  • TheNewPriceIsLoading
    TheNewPriceIsLoading Posts: 2,135 Member
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    To hell with others opinions. Do you. I would still pay for her if I had an interest in her. My female friends that I have that I don't have feelings for other than friendship, dutch is fine.
  • ew_david
    ew_david Posts: 3,473 Member
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    Instead of asking MFP, why don't you ask her.
  • HerkMeOff
    HerkMeOff Posts: 1,002 Member
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  • HerkMeOff
    HerkMeOff Posts: 1,002 Member
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    Instead of asking MFP, why don't you ask her.

    You don't even know, brah.
  • MrTolerable
    MrTolerable Posts: 1,593 Member
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    To hell with others opinions. Do you. I would still pay for her if I had an interest in her. My female friends that I have that I don't have feelings for other than friendship, dutch is fine.

    What if I am just trying to like date her and you know.. like do mutually fun adult activities with her and grow as a friend with her.. .like I'm trying to take a long break from 'being' with someone... There are a few other people I'm seeing that I'm also very partial towards.
  • MrTolerable
    MrTolerable Posts: 1,593 Member
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    Instead of asking MFP, why don't you ask her.

    Because I'm taking a strategic approach planning ahead not being tactical about this.
  • bannedword
    bannedword Posts: 299 Member
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    She asked you out. She pays.

    The end.
  • oregonzoo
    oregonzoo Posts: 4,251 Member
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    Why don;t you tell her you are seeing other people, so you really need her to start paying her own way.

    Let us know how that goes.
  • luvcookiemonster
    luvcookiemonster Posts: 237
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    Every time I've asked a guy out, I've paid and told him I would be offended if he even offered. There have been times when I asked someone to a movie which I've paid for plus snacks, but if he said, lets go for a drink or dinner after, he pays. Works for me.
  • TheNewPriceIsLoading
    TheNewPriceIsLoading Posts: 2,135 Member
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    Don't change the MO just because of your desire to not be 100% committed for a while. I have been single for 3 years.. I still prefer to pay, because of how I was raised.
  • MrTolerable
    MrTolerable Posts: 1,593 Member
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    She asked you out. She pays.

    The end.

    ^like are you being sincere? Is this the real rule of thumb?
  • _John_
    _John_ Posts: 8,641 Member
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    She asked you out. She pays.

    The end.

    I'd still pay, but I'm a southerner, and that's how we roll.
  • Veil5577
    Veil5577 Posts: 868 Member
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    I think you'd be better off asking her what she thinks.. otherwise there is a HUGE possibility of offending or hurting her.
  • EddieHaskell97
    EddieHaskell97 Posts: 2,227 Member
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  • miss_jessiejane
    miss_jessiejane Posts: 2,819 Member
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    Was she in Mexico on a modeling job?
  • romach79
    romach79 Posts: 277 Member
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    Be the man - I say pay.
  • maz504
    maz504 Posts: 450
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    even girls I have been in 2-3 week relationships with

    :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
  • kristen49233
    kristen49233 Posts: 385 Member
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    If I ask I guy out, I plan on paying. I wouldn't imagine asking someone out and then expecting them to pay....but that's just me.
  • maz504
    maz504 Posts: 450
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    She asked you out. She pays.

    The end.

    I'd still pay, but I'm a southerner, and that's how we roll.

    Which is why I <3 me a good ol' southern man.
  • oregonzoo
    oregonzoo Posts: 4,251 Member
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    Was she in Mexico on a modeling job?

    Mexico is a modeling mecca nowdays.

    I hear that Kate Moss is even going to retire there.
    She now won't get out of bed for less than one million pesos a day

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