Dont starve yourself they say

I get super angry when I hear people say "Oh don't starve yourself" "Oh, it'll make you gain more weight"
Yet my friend, "Lynn", does just that. And she's lost 27 pounds in just 3 months.... It's taken me six months just to lose 26.
I exercise and watch what I eat. I have a standing job.
She sits at her computer all day, starving herself. If she does eat, it's junk food, and then she makes herself throw up.

It pisses me off and makes me really want to quit. not quit losing weight... quit being healthy. I know some of you are going to be rude and talk about "how I'm whining"

But seriously.... what the hell.... is it really just easier just to starve myself... I want to lose weight quicker.
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Replies

  • Meerataila
    Meerataila Posts: 1,885 Member
    You're not whining, you're winning. You get to keep your health. And your teeth. If you take up your friend's habits, you risk losing both, and quickly. Better to be patient and keep chugging along. Congrats on 26 pound down.
  • Alatariel75
    Alatariel75 Posts: 18,210 Member
    Seriously, that's like saying "I've been eating healthy and exercising and my friend who has cancer has dropped weight like crazy and I feel like giving up and just getting cancer".

    Your friend is sick. What she's doing is going to impact her health, her teeth, her whole life. Sure, she'll be skinny, but at what expense.

    Why would you wish an illness on yourself?
  • KareninCanada
    KareninCanada Posts: 961 Member
    You've said in another post that you have hypothyroidism. Do you really want to magnify that by trashing your metabolism, too?

    Maybe you could look into ways to improve the health of your thyroid, and see a doctor to see if medication is appropriate.
  • Timshel_
    Timshel_ Posts: 22,834 Member
    I get super angry when I hear people say "Oh don't starve yourself" "Oh, it'll make you gain more weight"
    Yet my friend, "Lynn", does just that. And she's lost 27 pounds in just 3 months.... It's taken me six months just to lose 26.
    I exercise and watch what I eat. I have a standing job.
    She sits at her computer all day, starving herself. If she does eat, it's junk food, and then she makes herself throw up.

    It pisses me off and makes me really want to quit. not quit losing weight... quit being healthy. I know some of you are going to be rude and talk about "how I'm whining"

    But seriously.... what the hell.... is it really just easier just to starve myself... I want to lose weight quicker.

    I didn't realize that healthy living was a competition. You sound like you are just trying to reach some destination and then you will get to stop, eat what you want, and sit around. Nope.

    You will need to eat right and workout the rest of your life, or back up you will go. So whatever you do that works for you, make sure it is sustainable over the long term (your life) and don't dwell on the quick weight loss and crash diets of others. See where they are in a year or ttwo.
  • Alatariel75
    Alatariel75 Posts: 18,210 Member
    I get super angry when I hear people say "Oh don't starve yourself" "Oh, it'll make you gain more weight"
    Yet my friend, "Lynn", does just that. And she's lost 27 pounds in just 3 months.... It's taken me six months just to lose 26.
    I exercise and watch what I eat. I have a standing job.
    She sits at her computer all day, starving herself. If she does eat, it's junk food, and then she makes herself throw up.

    It pisses me off and makes me really want to quit. not quit losing weight... quit being healthy. I know some of you are going to be rude and talk about "how I'm whining"

    But seriously.... what the hell.... is it really just easier just to starve myself... I want to lose weight quicker.

    I didn't realize that healthy living was a competition. You sound like you are just trying to reach some destination and then you will get to stop, eat what you want, and sit around. Nope.

    You will need to eat right and workout the rest of your life, or back up you will go. So whatever you do that works for you, make sure it is sustainable over the long term (your life) and don't dwell on the quick weight loss and crash diets of others. See where they are in a year or ttwo.

    Also a bloody good point. Do you want to be the starving, barfing chick for the rest of your (shortened and miserable) life?

    Edit: I've just been thinking about this. Sure, your friend is losing weight. But she's doing it by mistreating and disrespecting her body. Do you think that being skinny is the be all and end all to life? Your friend is going to have issues. Not just health but relationships, etc. She will deal with people who love her being concerned, frustrated, even angry with her. She will deal with relationships turning sour when she won't eat, or has barf breath and won't listen to the person who cares about her when they want her to care for herself. Either that, or she will deal with enablers who are just as messed up as she is and will keep sinking into this dysfunctional behaviour. Her concentration will start to mess up, it might affect her work, stop her from achieving (non-weight loss) goals. It might cause friction with her family, it might affect her ability to get health care or life insurance if and when she has to start seeing doctors and counsellors for it.

    Does ANY of that sound worth it, just to lose weight fast? It isn't just the losing, it's the keeping it off.... or the not, and then getting more deeply into a damaging cycle. I know this is just a vent, but you need to look beyond the number on a scale and how fast someone else is doing it.
  • JGonzo82
    JGonzo82 Posts: 167 Member
    I've heard meth addiction is a great way to lose weight too. Maybe you should start doing that? I mean...it's easier than actually being disciplined and putting effort into your physical health and working hard to achieve your goals.

    Yup, that's it. Meth is totally the solution.
  • TasteofEnvy
    TasteofEnvy Posts: 123 Member
    You've said in another post that you have hypothyroidism. Do you really want to magnify that by trashing your metabolism, too?

    Maybe you could look into ways to improve the health of your thyroid, and see a doctor to see if medication is appropriate.
    I read that really quickly and got scared and was like "HOW DID YOU KNOW!? but yea...
    I do have meds.... and that's why i've been able to lose weight. Before that I couldn't lose anything.
    *sigh* I just wish it worked fast ya know
  • TasteofEnvy
    TasteofEnvy Posts: 123 Member
    I get super angry when I hear people say "Oh don't starve yourself" "Oh, it'll make you gain more weight"
    Yet my friend, "Lynn", does just that. And she's lost 27 pounds in just 3 months.... It's taken me six months just to lose 26.
    I exercise and watch what I eat. I have a standing job.
    She sits at her computer all day, starving herself. If she does eat, it's junk food, and then she makes herself throw up.

    It pisses me off and makes me really want to quit. not quit losing weight... quit being healthy. I know some of you are going to be rude and talk about "how I'm whining"

    But seriously.... what the hell.... is it really just easier just to starve myself... I want to lose weight quicker.

    I didn't realize that healthy living was a competition. You sound like you are just trying to reach some destination and then you will get to stop, eat what you want, and sit around. Nope.

    You will need to eat right and workout the rest of your life, or back up you will go. So whatever you do that works for you, make sure it is sustainable over the long term (your life) and don't dwell on the quick weight loss and crash diets of others. See where they are in a year or ttwo.
    i mean, after I get to my goal, I still plan on having a healthy life style... just where I maintain my weight, rather than lose more.
  • Meerataila
    Meerataila Posts: 1,885 Member
    I get super angry when I hear people say "Oh don't starve yourself" "Oh, it'll make you gain more weight"
    Yet my friend, "Lynn", does just that. And she's lost 27 pounds in just 3 months.... It's taken me six months just to lose 26.
    I exercise and watch what I eat. I have a standing job.
    She sits at her computer all day, starving herself. If she does eat, it's junk food, and then she makes herself throw up.

    It pisses me off and makes me really want to quit. not quit losing weight... quit being healthy. I know some of you are going to be rude and talk about "how I'm whining"

    But seriously.... what the hell.... is it really just easier just to starve myself... I want to lose weight quicker.

    I didn't realize that healthy living was a competition. You sound like you are just trying to reach some destination and then you will get to stop, eat what you want, and sit around. Nope.

    You will need to eat right and workout the rest of your life, or back up you will go. So whatever you do that works for you, make sure it is sustainable over the long term (your life) and don't dwell on the quick weight loss and crash diets of others. See where they are in a year or ttwo.
    i mean, after I get to my goal, I still plan on having a healthy life style... just where I maintain my weight, rather than lose more.

    Eating disorders don't work that way.
  • here2bme
    here2bme Posts: 63 Member
    I have a friend just like your friend. She has lost ALL of her teeth. I don't know if she will see her son grow up. I love her...and I will miss her
  • brianpperkins
    brianpperkins Posts: 6,124 Member
    Your friend is destroying any muscle mass she may have left and eroding her esophagus and teeth with the vomiting. She chose a foolish path that leads to self destruction all to get to a number on a scale.
  • 4legsRbetterthan2
    4legsRbetterthan2 Posts: 19,590 MFP Moderator
    That has to be frustrating, but believe me, she is not doing herself any favors. There is a whole slew of medical problems that are results of bulimia, believe me you don't want to invite those into your life. Honestly, I would advise you to just cut ties with her and stay away, that is not a path you need to be tempted to go down.

    On another note, I find dieting and weight loss annoying and tedious. I found it very helpful to set a fitness goal (currently training for my first half marathon) to help me along the way. Not only does it help with the weight loss, but I get a lot more satisfaction from hitting a new distance than I do slowly watching the pounds slowly drop off. Plus it has given me a whole new outtake on food; using it to fuel my workouts with the balance of still keeping a deficit and losing.

    Hope you get in a better place soon. Best wishes~
  • TasteofEnvy
    TasteofEnvy Posts: 123 Member
    I've heard meth addiction is a great way to lose weight too. Maybe you should start doing that? I mean...it's easier than actually being disciplined and putting effort into your physical health and working hard to achieve your goals.

    Yup, that's it. Meth is totally the solution.
    but meth costs money haha. starving yourself is freeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee~
    (^ said with humor)
    I understand your message.... it's just hard. Have you never had anyone in your life get things the easy way? And if you have, have you never wished there was an easy button? Or wished you could just do what they did just as easily? I plan on staying healthy... I'm just going through a sad phase right now b/c I want to lose weight just as easily as her.
  • nutmegoreo
    nutmegoreo Posts: 15,532 Member
    I have a friend who is super skinny and eats very little. Hair, nails, and teeth aren't great, always cold, and oh ya... she started having seizures. I think I'll stick with what I'm doing.

    I know it sucks, but have patience. You life and health are worth it.
  • Alatariel75
    Alatariel75 Posts: 18,210 Member
    I've heard meth addiction is a great way to lose weight too. Maybe you should start doing that? I mean...it's easier than actually being disciplined and putting effort into your physical health and working hard to achieve your goals.

    Yup, that's it. Meth is totally the solution.
    but meth costs money haha. starving yourself is freeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee~
    (^ said with humor)
    I understand your message.... it's just hard. Have you never had anyone in your life get things the easy way? And if you have, have you never wished there was an easy button? Or wished you could just do what they did just as easily? I plan on staying healthy... I'm just going through a sad phase right now b/c I want to lose weight just as easily as her.

    This is from my edit above, so you may have missed it:

    Edit: I've just been thinking about this. Sure, your friend is losing weight. But she's doing it by mistreating and disrespecting her body. Do you think that being skinny is the be all and end all to life? Your friend is going to have issues. Not just health but relationships, etc. She will deal with people who love her being concerned, frustrated, even angry with her. She will deal with relationships turning sour when she won't eat, or has barf breath and won't listen to the person who cares about her when they want her to care for herself. Either that, or she will deal with enablers who are just as messed up as she is and will keep sinking into this dysfunctional behaviour. Her concentration will start to mess up, it might affect her work, stop her from achieving (non-weight loss) goals. It might cause friction with her family, it might affect her ability to get health care or life insurance if and when she has to start seeing doctors and counsellors for it.

    Does ANY of that sound worth it, just to lose weight fast? It isn't just the losing, it's the keeping it off.... or the not, and then getting more deeply into a damaging cycle. I know this is just a vent, but you need to look beyond the number on a scale and how fast someone else is doing it.

    Doesn't sound easy to me...
  • TasteofEnvy
    TasteofEnvy Posts: 123 Member
    I get super angry when I hear people say "Oh don't starve yourself" "Oh, it'll make you gain more weight"
    Yet my friend, "Lynn", does just that. And she's lost 27 pounds in just 3 months.... It's taken me six months just to lose 26.
    I exercise and watch what I eat. I have a standing job.
    She sits at her computer all day, starving herself. If she does eat, it's junk food, and then she makes herself throw up.

    It pisses me off and makes me really want to quit. not quit losing weight... quit being healthy. I know some of you are going to be rude and talk about "how I'm whining"

    But seriously.... what the hell.... is it really just easier just to starve myself... I want to lose weight quicker.

    I didn't realize that healthy living was a competition. You sound like you are just trying to reach some destination and then you will get to stop, eat what you want, and sit around. Nope.

    You will need to eat right and workout the rest of your life, or back up you will go. So whatever you do that works for you, make sure it is sustainable over the long term (your life) and don't dwell on the quick weight loss and crash diets of others. See where they are in a year or ttwo.
    i mean, after I get to my goal, I still plan on having a healthy life style... just where I maintain my weight, rather than lose more.

    Eating disorders don't work that way.
    I took that in more of a way that the user meant even with what I'm doing now, I'm going to quit once I reach my goal. Which I'm not.
  • HeidiCooksSupper
    HeidiCooksSupper Posts: 3,839 Member
    When her gums turn black and her teeth fall out, you'll feel better.

    How's this for just a partial list of side-effects from WebMD?
    -Tooth decay, toothaches, swollen gums, gum disease (gingivitis), and erosion of tooth enamel. These are caused by acid in the mouth from vomiting.
    -Osteoporosis.
    -Electrolyte imbalances and changes in metabolism that can lead to heart problems, such as arrhythmia and even death.
    -Dehydration, which can lead to weakness, fainting, or kidney damage.
    -Inflammation or tears of the esophagus, which may cause bloody vomit.
    -Swollen salivary glands.

    Quite frankly, I'd rather be fat if that were my only two choices. Besides, many bulimics are fat. There's no guarantee bulimia will make you skinny.
  • TasteofEnvy
    TasteofEnvy Posts: 123 Member
    That has to be frustrating, but believe me, she is not doing herself any favors. There is a whole slew of medical problems that are results of bulimia, believe me you don't want to invite those into your life. Honestly, I would advise you to just cut ties with her and stay away, that is not a path you need to be tempted to go down.

    On another note, I find dieting and weight loss annoying and tedious. I found it very helpful to set a fitness goal (currently training for my first half marathon) to help me along the way. Not only does it help with the weight loss, but I get a lot more satisfaction from hitting a new distance than I do slowly watching the pounds slowly drop off. Plus it has given me a whole new outtake on food; using it to fuel my workouts with the balance of still keeping a deficit and losing.

    Hope you get in a better place soon. Best wishes~
    My goal is to get my Facebook back. Haven't had it for half a year and won't let myself get back on til I reach my goal.
  • TasteofEnvy
    TasteofEnvy Posts: 123 Member
    I've heard meth addiction is a great way to lose weight too. Maybe you should start doing that? I mean...it's easier than actually being disciplined and putting effort into your physical health and working hard to achieve your goals.

    Yup, that's it. Meth is totally the solution.
    but meth costs money haha. starving yourself is freeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee~
    (^ said with humor)
    I understand your message.... it's just hard. Have you never had anyone in your life get things the easy way? And if you have, have you never wished there was an easy button? Or wished you could just do what they did just as easily? I plan on staying healthy... I'm just going through a sad phase right now b/c I want to lose weight just as easily as her.

    This is from my edit above, so you may have missed it:

    Edit: I've just been thinking about this. Sure, your friend is losing weight. But she's doing it by mistreating and disrespecting her body. Do you think that being skinny is the be all and end all to life? Your friend is going to have issues. Not just health but relationships, etc. She will deal with people who love her being concerned, frustrated, even angry with her. She will deal with relationships turning sour when she won't eat, or has barf breath and won't listen to the person who cares about her when they want her to care for herself. Either that, or she will deal with enablers who are just as messed up as she is and will keep sinking into this dysfunctional behaviour. Her concentration will start to mess up, it might affect her work, stop her from achieving (non-weight loss) goals. It might cause friction with her family, it might affect her ability to get health care or life insurance if and when she has to start seeing doctors and counsellors for it.

    Does ANY of that sound worth it, just to lose weight fast? It isn't just the losing, it's the keeping it off.... or the not, and then getting more deeply into a damaging cycle. I know this is just a vent, but you need to look beyond the number on a scale and how fast someone else is doing it.

    Doesn't sound easy to me...
    I like this edit a lot more than the original post.
    I mean... she's doing it BECAUSE she has issues. Her last boyfriend dumped her b/c she had self esteem issues and then went to date a girl skinnier than her.... that made things worse. That's what "inspired her" to lose weight. And it's working.
  • Dnarules
    Dnarules Posts: 2,081 Member
    I've heard meth addiction is a great way to lose weight too. Maybe you should start doing that? I mean...it's easier than actually being disciplined and putting effort into your physical health and working hard to achieve your goals.

    Yup, that's it. Meth is totally the solution.
    but meth costs money haha. starving yourself is freeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee~
    (^ said with humor)
    I understand your message.... it's just hard. Have you never had anyone in your life get things the easy way? And if you have, have you never wished there was an easy button? Or wished you could just do what they did just as easily? I plan on staying healthy... I'm just going through a sad phase right now b/c I want to lose weight just as easily as her.

    Your friend is starving herself, and throwing up. This doesn't sound easy to me; it sounds sad. And it's actually really sad that you don't see that.
  • 4legsRbetterthan2
    4legsRbetterthan2 Posts: 19,590 MFP Moderator
    That has to be frustrating, but believe me, she is not doing herself any favors. There is a whole slew of medical problems that are results of bulimia, believe me you don't want to invite those into your life. Honestly, I would advise you to just cut ties with her and stay away, that is not a path you need to be tempted to go down.

    On another note, I find dieting and weight loss annoying and tedious. I found it very helpful to set a fitness goal (currently training for my first half marathon) to help me along the way. Not only does it help with the weight loss, but I get a lot more satisfaction from hitting a new distance than I do slowly watching the pounds slowly drop off. Plus it has given me a whole new outtake on food; using it to fuel my workouts with the balance of still keeping a deficit and losing.

    Hope you get in a better place soon. Best wishes~
    My goal is to get my Facebook back. Haven't had it for half a year and won't let myself get back on til I reach my goal.

    not really the same thing.....

    when you set a new PR it makes you feel like such a badass, that high can last quite a while :)
  • Artionis
    Artionis Posts: 105 Member
    It's called bulimia nervosa. It is a serious, potentially life-threatening eating disorder. DISORDER. If you meet a woman with stage 3 cancer who has lost more weight than you are you jealous of her weight loss? Or grateful to be healthy?

    You are the architect of your life. "Lynn" is the architect of her life. And "Lynn" is doing a piss poor pathetic job. I fail to see why you consider her to be a role model for life choices.

    Get better friends. Seriously. Get friends who are role models for living a healthy, fulfilling life.
  • TasteofEnvy
    TasteofEnvy Posts: 123 Member
    I've heard meth addiction is a great way to lose weight too. Maybe you should start doing that? I mean...it's easier than actually being disciplined and putting effort into your physical health and working hard to achieve your goals.

    Yup, that's it. Meth is totally the solution.
    but meth costs money haha. starving yourself is freeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee~
    (^ said with humor)
    I understand your message.... it's just hard. Have you never had anyone in your life get things the easy way? And if you have, have you never wished there was an easy button? Or wished you could just do what they did just as easily? I plan on staying healthy... I'm just going through a sad phase right now b/c I want to lose weight just as easily as her.

    Your friend is starving herself, and throwing up. This doesn't sound easy to me; it sounds sad. And it's actually really sad that you don't see that.
    you don't think I've tried to stop her? You don't think I tried talking to her mother or brothers? They don't care.
  • lmr0528
    lmr0528 Posts: 427 Member
    Slow & steady wins the race. You're better off than she is in the long run because she will have lasting effects from what she is doing to herself. You will be healthy.
  • _Waffle_
    _Waffle_ Posts: 13,049 Member
    Yet my friend, "Lynn", does just that. And she's lost 27 pounds in just 3 months.... It's taken me six months just to lose 26.
    I exercise and watch what I eat. I have a standing job.
    She sits at her computer all day, starving herself. If she does eat, it's junk food, and then she makes herself throw up.

    That sounds healthy. :eyeroll:

    5bUfqWh.gif

    Do something you can sustain for the rest of your life. Do you really want to be purging and puking, eating the enamel off your teeth for the rest of your life? Real and safe change is gradual and sustainable.
  • Graelwyn75
    Graelwyn75 Posts: 4,404 Member
    You need to find more in your life than your weight. Your contentment should not be based solely on what you weigh. Getting to a healthy weight should be about your health, not about entire sense of self esteem. This should be a lifestyle change, not a diet, not a disorder, and I can tell you from personal experience that bulimia is no fun at all, and nor is starvation, aka anorexia. It sounds as if your friend is more in the realm of binge/purge subtype anorexia. Her weight loss will not last, unless she continues to the point where she literally starves and purges herself to death. You can literally drop dead from the electrolyte imbalances caused by bulimia, if it is severe enough and it can permanently damage the digestive system.

    If your weight is so important to you that it is worth risking your life for, then I think maybe you should be seeking some sort of counselling.
  • amwbox
    amwbox Posts: 576 Member
    Big difference caloric restriction and bulimia nervosa. One is a weight loss strategy. The other is a psychological disorder.
  • PikaKnight
    PikaKnight Posts: 34,971 Member
    You need to find more in your life than your weight. Your contentment should not be based solely on what you weigh. Getting to a healthy weight should be about your health, not about entire sense of self esteem. This should be a lifestyle change, not a diet, not a disorder, and I can tell you from personal experience that bulimia is no fun at all, and nor is starvation, aka anorexia. It sounds as if your friend is more in the realm of binge/purge subtype anorexia. Her weight loss will not last, unless she continues to the point where she literally starves and purges herself to death. You can literally drop dead from the electrolyte imbalances caused by bulimia, if it is severe enough and it can permanently damage the digestive system.

    If your weight is so important to you that it is worth risking your life for, then I think maybe you should be seeking some sort of counselling.

    x1000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000
  • Kymmu
    Kymmu Posts: 1,650 Member
    Oh yuck - you don't want to be like that surely? She needs mental health help....
  • PinkyFett
    PinkyFett Posts: 842 Member
    Why would you want to lose weight like that? Puking... no nutrition..please tell me you're a troll.