Is he into me?
I feel like I know the answer to this question, but I'm driving myself nuts. I'm usually able to give my friends advice, but for some reason can't follow my own.
Met this guy through a friend who was getting married. She'd been trying to push me on to him for years, but I always ducked her. We met at her bachelorette party. Had fun, flirted, but nothing exciting. I went home early because I tired. We met up at her wedding and again, had fun, flirted, spent most of the festivities together. The evening ended on a good note, and the next morning was not as awkward as it could have been. We've met up one time since then, after I asked, and again had an amazing time. He always says, He'd be happy to do it again, whenever we part. I at one point asked if we'd ever be more than this and he say gladly, he'd be willing to go as far as I'm comfortable with. I agreed.
Here's the problem: I initiate all the meet ups, and texting. He will text me constantly, after I text him. I told myself, I would not initiate another meetup unless he did, and so far...two weeks and nada. No request for a date, no asking to come over, nothing. Sure, I can see all the mistakes I've made here, but is this just the most passive guy ever...or he really not that into me and I should move on?
Met this guy through a friend who was getting married. She'd been trying to push me on to him for years, but I always ducked her. We met at her bachelorette party. Had fun, flirted, but nothing exciting. I went home early because I tired. We met up at her wedding and again, had fun, flirted, spent most of the festivities together. The evening ended on a good note, and the next morning was not as awkward as it could have been. We've met up one time since then, after I asked, and again had an amazing time. He always says, He'd be happy to do it again, whenever we part. I at one point asked if we'd ever be more than this and he say gladly, he'd be willing to go as far as I'm comfortable with. I agreed.
Here's the problem: I initiate all the meet ups, and texting. He will text me constantly, after I text him. I told myself, I would not initiate another meetup unless he did, and so far...two weeks and nada. No request for a date, no asking to come over, nothing. Sure, I can see all the mistakes I've made here, but is this just the most passive guy ever...or he really not that into me and I should move on?
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Replies
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I really believe that if he was into you, he'd initiate. (Hugs..) It feels better to be pursued than to be the pursuee...0
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^^ Agreed. He's just not that into you. My rule: never chase after a guy, let him chase after me.
With my husband, after our first date.. he was calling me while I was driving home from our date, and then he asked to see me the next day.0 -
he just waiting for you to offer oral in the TGIF parking lot.. After that it will be bubble gum and rainbows, 2.3 kids, a house in the burbs. Just a good old American love story.0
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^^ Agreed. Don't chase after a guy, ALWAYS let him chase you.
Smh
Do not listen to this advice.
But no, unfortunately he isn't into you. No guy waits two weeks to contact a woman he is interested in.0 -
Point blank ask him. You may or may not like the answer but you won't waste time.
"make him chase you" games are for the birds.0 -
^^ Agreed. Don't chase after a guy, ALWAYS let him chase you.
Smh
Do not listen to this advice.
But no, unfortunately he isn't into you. No guy waits two weeks to contact a woman he is interested in.
EXACTLY. No guy waits two weeks to contact a woman he is interested in. THIS lets you know he isn't interested. Don't chase a man.
Let me clarify. NEVER chase a man. If he is interested in you, he will chase you. There's no games there. I just have no intention of ever putting in more effort in to a relationship than a man puts in. If you want to talk to me after a date, HELL YEAH! Refusing to call someone until 3 days or whatever is a game. Don't do that.0 -
No guy waits two weeks to contact a woman he is interested in.
Yup.0 -
he just waiting for you to offer oral in the TGIF parking lot.. After that it will be bubble gum and rainbows, 2.3 kids, a house in the burbs. Just a good old American love story.
Oh God.. so not true..... :sad: (Maybe if it was in the TGIF parking lot....) LMAO
TMI???0 -
If you really have a good time, then soon he will reciprocate.
In the mean time, don't be exclusive, because I very much doubt he is.0 -
No guy waits two weeks to contact a woman he is interested in.
Yup.
Double yup. Don't waste your time on him.0 -
he just waiting for you to offer oral in the TGIF parking lot.. After that it will be bubble gum and rainbows, 2.3 kids, a house in the burbs. Just a good old American love story.
Oh God.. so not true..... :sad: (Maybe if it was in the TGIF parking lot....) LMAO
TMI???
Bennigans?0 -
No guy waits two weeks to contact a woman he is interested in.
Yup.
Agreed. You're not the only girl he's hooking up with is my guess.0 -
Yup.I really believe that if he was into you, he'd initiate. (Hugs..) It feels better to be pursued than to be the pursuee...
It is a universal truth that a man who is interested in a woman (for more than fun times and sex) will make an effort.0 -
Is not chasing him making you happy?0
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If you have to ask, then no.0
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I am in a very similar situation.. says he likes me blah blah blah. but never is the one to text first. Says he has a great time when we are together, but still nothing... So I made the decision to just ends things ( if there were any) than to just feel strung along..
Go with your gut on this one... No guy will ever wait to talk or hang out or text....ever... if they are really interested.0 -
If you have to ask, then no he's not interested in you.
Ignore everyone's advice about not chasing him or whatever. Don't play those stupid games of restricting your availability or not returning his call after so many hours or whatever.0 -
He's just not that into you!0
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He's sending mixed signals. Doesn't sound he's interested, or he doesn't know what he wants. Either way, he's nothing to be messing with. Go find another hot guy that will actually pay some attention to you without you having to force the interaction!
Things should never be one sided0 -
I disagree with the statement of let men chase after you.
But the answer is, if he was into you, you wouldn't even have to question it. Period.0 -
Don't waste time, energy and emotion on people who clearly don't waste it on you.
On to the next one!0 -
Point blank ask him. You may or may not like the answer but you won't waste time.
"make him chase you" games are for the birds.
^^ This.
Just ask. No harm in it, and whether or not you like the answer, at least you will be able to move one... whatever direction that may be.0 -
Not so sure I agree.... I was far too cool with someone I was very interested in - even when I was "initiating" contact. So even though most people on the Boards would consider this "chasing" behavior, the man is very shy and he got the idea he was being friend-zoned. He decided not to pursue me as a result. How do I know? Because he was honest enough to tell me but it was too late by then and I am still very sad about it.0
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She did ask him and he said he was interested in more, but his behavior has been opposite.Point blank ask him. You may or may not like the answer but you won't waste time.
"make him chase you" games are for the birds.
^^ This.
Just ask. No harm in it, and whether or not you like the answer, at least you will be able to move one... whatever direction that may be.
He isn't into her. He just isn't. I'm sorry to be harsh about it, but too many women don't get this and they waste a lot of time and energy unnecessarily.0 -
stop wasting your time
never chase men0 -
If he was into you, he would move mountains to be with you. IMHO0
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Why does there have to be a chase? If you're both into it, you'll both be eager to contact and hear from each other. He can't pursue you if you're not running away, and why would you do that if you're into him?
With the right person, you'll be attuned to each other to the point that you won't even notice who initially starts a conversation or suggests a date, because you'll both be doing it fairly equally.0 -
Ask him:
"Hey. I kind of like you but it seems like I'm always the one initiating things. What's up with that? If you aren't interested just tell me."
And really, "Don't chase men."? We want power and to be treated equal yet we make up stupid rules where we are not free to pursue the partner we want simply because we have a vagina? Obviously, yeah, back off if he makes it clear he's not interested, but there's nothing "wrong" or "desperate" about asking a guy out.0 -
Lol at the advice here. She dodges him for a year, yet he's the one whose interest is in question.0
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Cheers :drinker:Ask him:
"Hey. I kind of like you but it seems like I'm always the one initiating things. What's up with that? If you aren't interested just tell me."
And really, "Don't chase men."? We want power and to be treated equal yet we make up stupid rules where we are not free to pursue the partner we want simply because we have a vagina? Obviously, yeah, back off if he makes it clear he's not interested, but there's nothing "wrong" or "desperate" about asking a guy out.0
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