Is he into me?

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Replies

  • lisalsd1
    lisalsd1 Posts: 1,519 Member
    I think you have a mostly unanimous answer. Also, why did you avoid meeting the guy for years??? That seems kind of telling...maybe you're not that into him.
  • Unknown
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  • NinaSharp
    NinaSharp Posts: 101 Member
    Double post.
  • NinaSharp
    NinaSharp Posts: 101 Member
    I think you have a mostly unanimous answer. Also, why did you avoid meeting the guy for years??? That seems kind of telling...maybe you're not that into him.

    I do, thank you for all the responses.

    It was really nothing against him. I'd only met him in passing, and it's a weird situation of how we all know each other, so I just avoided it.
  • whitebalance
    whitebalance Posts: 1,654 Member
    I feel like I know the answer to this question, but I'm driving myself nuts. I'm usually able to give my friends advice, but for some reason can't follow my own.

    Met this guy through a friend who was getting married. She'd been trying to push me on to him for years, but I always ducked her. We met at her bachelorette party. Had fun, flirted, but nothing exciting. I went home early because I tired. We met up at her wedding and again, had fun, flirted, spent most of the festivities together. The evening ended on a good note, and the next morning was not as awkward as it could have been. We've met up one time since then, after I asked, and again had an amazing time. He always says, He'd be happy to do it again, whenever we part. I at one point asked if we'd ever be more than this and he say gladly, he'd be willing to go as far as I'm comfortable with. I agreed.

    Here's the problem: I initiate all the meet ups, and texting. He will text me constantly, after I text him. I told myself, I would not initiate another meetup unless he did, and so far...two weeks and nada. No request for a date, no asking to come over, nothing. Sure, I can see all the mistakes I've made here, but is this just the most passive guy ever...or he really not that into me and I should move on?
    You could tell him you're "comfortable with" having a guy put some effort into initiating things. If it's only the sex that's "amazing," this probably wouldn't end well. But if you think he's really someone you could see yourself with long-term, it seems to me he's left you an opening to define the rules of engagement.

    If you feel too wimpy to tell him yourself, you could always relay it casually through the mutual friend. If he's "into you" but worried that it's not mutual and/or giving you space, he'll listen to what she tells him on the sly.

    If you communicate and there's no drastic, immediate change on his part, then yeah, he's not into you.

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