Would you rather feel 'Happy' or 'Valued'

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MrTolerable
MrTolerable Posts: 1,593 Member
in Chit-Chat
Just trying to get a high-level overlook on the sentiments of the MFP community.

Would you rather feel 'Happy' or 'Valued'.

'+1' for those ladies and gentleman who provide reasoning in their response/retorts.
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Replies

  • walleyclan1
    walleyclan1 Posts: 2,784 Member
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    Can you feel happy without feeling valued? I couldn't. My happiness comes from feeling valued by others. You can also substituted the word "adored" for valued....
  • TutuMom41
    TutuMom41 Posts: 278
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    Both. Its hard to have one with out the other
  • amberlykay1014
    amberlykay1014 Posts: 608 Member
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    Valued. I create my own happiness.
  • Timshel_
    Timshel_ Posts: 22,841 Member
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    Valued is an extension of respect, which is HUGE in people's happiness.
  • Guns_N_Buns
    Guns_N_Buns Posts: 1,899 Member
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    Happy. I know my worth; I couldn't care less how other people "value" me.
  • MrTolerable
    MrTolerable Posts: 1,593 Member
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    Can you feel happy without feeling valued? I couldn't. My happiness comes from feeling valued by others. You can also substituted the word "adored" for valued....

    I certainly believe people do feel happy absent the feeling of value - happiness is typically found in those living a blissed-out lifestyle after all.
  • MrTolerable
    MrTolerable Posts: 1,593 Member
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    Valued is an extension of respect, which is HUGE in people's happiness.

    ^wonderful observation - agree 110%

    Respect is of paramount importance in the sense of showing/providing value.
  • aarnwine2013
    aarnwine2013 Posts: 317 Member
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    This is a tough one but I'm going with happy. I shouldn't need to be valued to be happy. I do think that being valued makes me happy, but I'd hate to think that's the only way I could be happy.
  • MrTolerable
    MrTolerable Posts: 1,593 Member
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    Happy. Feeling "valued" implies you get a sense of happiness from other peoples opinions of you. This isn't bad if you can be happy even if everyone isn't happy with you. Some people though, let the value others place on them effect their entire happiness.

    ^yep, that is exactly why I'm presenting this question - trying to find the origin of happiness- if it is typically found from within, or through the aid of community/others.
  • delicious_cocktail
    delicious_cocktail Posts: 5,797 Member
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    If you are happy, it doesn't matter whether or not you are valued. You're happy.
  • RavenLibra
    RavenLibra Posts: 1,737 Member
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    I find value in being happy... can I find happy in value?
  • perseverance14
    perseverance14 Posts: 1,364 Member
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    I think others should not be responsible for your happiness, you are, and if you are not happy, then make changes or learn to change your responses that make you unhappy.

    Being valued is nice, but I think if you want to be valued, value yourself first, if you do not value yourself, why would you expect others to value you? I do not think being valued is necessary for happiness, but it can add to it.
  • rowlandsw
    rowlandsw Posts: 1,166 Member
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    I'm not sure i'd recognize either if i felt it. Happiness is such an abstract term for an emotion, contentment is usually confused with happiness.
  • Koldnomore
    Koldnomore Posts: 1,613 Member
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    My reply depends on the situation.. Happy or valued WHEN? In a relationship? at work? by people in general? Each one will give a different answer.

    If it's people in general I could care less.. at work I find happiness in being valued and in a relationship I must be valued/adored or I will NOT be happy at all. I can not be happy if I don't feel valued.
  • RavenLibra
    RavenLibra Posts: 1,737 Member
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    on a personal note. I walk the path less traveled so I do NOT need anyone to value me, to validate me, to pour sugar on my cereal so to speak... I create my world.. and IF I pay close attention THEN I think it more important to be the valuator rather than the validated
  • SyntonicGarden
    SyntonicGarden Posts: 944 Member
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    Valued is an extension of respect, which is HUGE in people's happiness.

    +1 for this guy's response, especially where value is tied to respect.

    In my relationships with people, I would definitely put "valued" over "happy" since I see them as interdependent. In a friendship in which I feel valued, I'm happy. Same thing goes for a romantic relationship and for my job. When I don't feel valued at work, in my friendships, in my marriage, by my family, not feeling valued equates to not being happy in those areas of my life.

    Ice cream makes me happy. Good weather makes me happy. Finding $10 on the sidewalk makes me happy. I value these things. None of these things have the ability to "value" me, so in that respect, I can be happy without my own value coming into place. ;)
  • MrTolerable
    MrTolerable Posts: 1,593 Member
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    well think of it on smaller scales as well - would you rather do a difficult tedious, but 'high-paying' job feeling 'valued'? or do a job and feel 'happy'?

    and if you vouch for happy - then why are you not doing what would make you happy?



    It's ok to delve off of strictly abstract thinking in regards to a state of a constantly defined feeling of 'happy' or 'valued'.
  • AllOutof_Bubblegum
    AllOutof_Bubblegum Posts: 3,646 Member
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    I personally couldn't BE happy if I wasn't valued. Being useless is a terrible feeling.

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