Would you rather feel 'Happy' or 'Valued'

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  • MrTolerable
    MrTolerable Posts: 1,593 Member
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    Valued is an extension of respect, which is HUGE in people's happiness.

    I value these things. None of these things have the ability to "value" me, so in that respect, I can be happy without my own value coming into place. ;)

    good insight. +1
  • JenAndSome
    JenAndSome Posts: 1,908 Member
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    It depends on the context of the happiness. I am happy with myself without needing others input, however, in my relationships with others it is important to feel valued for me to be happy with those relationships.

    Most of the time it is just me, though, so I choose happy.
  • 1HappyRedhead
    1HappyRedhead Posts: 413 Member
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    Some really good answers here! :flowerforyou:
  • meeka472
    meeka472 Posts: 283 Member
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    Happy.
  • Galatea_Stone
    Galatea_Stone Posts: 2,037 Member
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    Tough because I think as human beings we need both, even if we don't admit it. If I had to choose one, I would choose to be happy, I guess.

    But If I don't choose being valued as my response, does that mean that nobody values me ever? If nobody values me ever, then how would I survive in society? Would I be too happy to care that someone takes my chair, that I always have to stand on public transportation, that a taxi never stops for me? That my kids don't notice me? That everyone basically ignores me? That cars don't wait for me to cross the street? That I am never hugged or kissed or told that I matter? Would I die an early death because I wasn't told by my doctor that I was dying?

    I think I change my answer. I prefer to be valued.
  • airbearlover
    airbearlover Posts: 240 Member
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    To me Id rather feel happy. Because if I am happy then I am being valued because I would not be happy in any relationship or life if I wasn't. But knowing someone values you is different than them telling you. It can be sometimes make me just as happy even if I know they value me but don't say it.
  • MrTolerable
    MrTolerable Posts: 1,593 Member
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    Tough because I think as human beings we need both, even if we don't admit it. If I had to choose one, I would choose to be happy, I guess.

    But If I don't choose being valued as my response, does that mean that nobody values me ever? If nobody values me ever, then how would I survive in society? Would I be too happy to care that someone takes my chair, that I always have to stand on public transportation, that a taxi never stops for me? That my kids don't notice me? That everyone basically ignores me? That cars don't wait for me to cross the street? That I am never hugged or kissed or told that I matter? Would I die an early death because I wasn't told by my doctor that I was dying?

    I think I change my answer. I prefer to be valued.

    Great observations - as a libertarian I like to think of myself often as Mr. Independent, Mr. Self-made - but when it comes down to it I am incredibly dependent upon others, fortunately market forces provide us that value with everyone looking out for their self-interest, but nonetheless - a sense of community is paramount.

    And you do matter :flowerforyou: :bear hug:
  • fuhrmeister
    fuhrmeister Posts: 1,796 Member
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    Happy. I choose to be happy and no one can take that away from me. Being valued can add to my happiness. It is nice to be valued by my church family, the people I work with and most importantly my husband and other family members.
  • salembambi
    salembambi Posts: 5,592 Member
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    happy

    because I have never gone a day without being valued by at least one person (my mom)
  • amethyst7986
    amethyst7986 Posts: 223 Member
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    Happy......I think that if I wasn't happy I wouldn't be able to determine if or when I was actually being valued by others. The happier I am and feel the more I feel I should be valued, my self respect and confidence both grow, which then make me more valuable to myself and others.
  • Calliope610
    Calliope610 Posts: 3,771 Member
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    Happy. I know my worth; I couldn't care less how other people "value" me.

    So much this. I don't need other people's opinions to me to determine my level of happiness.
  • Veil5577
    Veil5577 Posts: 868 Member
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    Both. Don't make me choose.
  • TheVirgoddess
    TheVirgoddess Posts: 4,535 Member
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    Just trying to get a high-level overlook on the sentiments of the MFP community.

    Would you rather feel 'Happy' or 'Valued'.

    '+1' for those ladies and gentleman who provide reasoning in their response/retorts.

    I think these things directly relate to each other. If I don't feel valued, I don't think I'd be very happy. So I picked valued, because then happiness is more attainable.
  • DebraYvonne
    DebraYvonne Posts: 632 Member
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    I'd have to have both in measure or either content and valued.
  • walleyclan1
    walleyclan1 Posts: 2,784 Member
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    Can you feel happy without feeling valued? I couldn't. My happiness comes from feeling valued by others. You can also substituted the word "adored" for valued....

    This seems dangerous emotionally. What happens if the well runs dry so to speak. As in if the people who adore you suddenly change their feelings. It also places the burden on you to continue to keep them interested.

    Any friend or lover you have around around must value you. A life withouth someone valuing you is a life of isolation and without intimate bonds. Could you be happy in a life of isolation?
  • Guns_N_Buns
    Guns_N_Buns Posts: 1,899 Member
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    Tough because I think as human beings we need both, even if we don't admit it. If I had to choose one, I would choose to be happy, I guess.

    But If I don't choose being valued as my response, does that mean that nobody values me ever? If nobody values me ever, then how would I survive in society? Would I be too happy to care that someone takes my chair, that I always have to stand on public transportation, that a taxi never stops for me? That my kids don't notice me? That everyone basically ignores me? That cars don't wait for me to cross the street? That I am never hugged or kissed or told that I matter? Would I die an early death because I wasn't told by my doctor that I was dying?

    I think I change my answer. I prefer to be valued.

    If everyone values you as if you *kitten* gold, but you're not happy...what's the point?
  • anissa333
    anissa333 Posts: 175 Member
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    Happy....Happy is about how you feel....Valued is about how you feel about what other people think....
  • sentaruu
    sentaruu Posts: 2,206 Member
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    Learning to value one's self shall unlock the door to true happiness.
  • ProfessorOwl
    ProfessorOwl Posts: 312 Member
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    I'm definitely valued but not particularly happy. It sucks. I'll go with happy if I can't have both.
  • MrTolerable
    MrTolerable Posts: 1,593 Member
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    Happy. I know my worth; I couldn't care less how other people "value" me.

    So much this. I don't need other people's opinions to me to determine my level of happiness.

    ^I would have said and thought this... however recent examples just made me realize my behavior isn't lining up with my thinking.

    I used to think that - but I got a txt from a girl todaysaying "I've never been so happy just lying in bed cuddling with you, last night was special" - and I realized I provided her a great deal of 'happiness' simply by providing value, ironically it was through telling her she provided me a great deal of value... however I think the word I used was utility :P - aka the 'genesis' of her happiness was through me though.


    On the same token, me being ...Mr. Independent sent a txt yesterday to the former girl I had fallen head over heels for a month ago... Ms. Brazil, and I let her know I was thinking of her, and was hoping she was enjoying her vacation - and noooo response. and I was totally totally bummed - it was the only thing on my mind - through the cuddling - I had to drive to NJ this morning and it was the only thing on my mind. - and on my way back she sent me back a really sweet txt - next thing you know i'm dancing around in my car singing along to the song on the radio - and I realized that Mr. Independent just had a whiff of happiness simply through having a feeling of value from someone.

    ...I'm not sure which is which with myself... just trying to observe my behavioral actions.

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