Unanswered Friend Requests

dcc56
dcc56 Posts: 172 Member
in Motivation and Support
I sent out a few friend requests and never got a reply. I even included a note about why I was making the request. I guess I've always thought I could never have enough "real" friends. It makes me wonder why my request was ignored. I think there might be two reasons....first, I'm a gay guy....second, I've had Weight Loss surgery. Maybe these are the reasons?
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Replies

  • Ainar
    Ainar Posts: 858 Member
    I'm a gay guy....
    Could be. I would not accept you in my friend request, cos you are a guy. I would not even accept a straight guy. I accept only ladies. I'm creep like that. Not that anybody was supposed to know that, I hope you can keep a secret. :wink:
  • Pinkranger626
    Pinkranger626 Posts: 460 Member
    it could also be that they turned off the email notification thingy and haven't noticed the little red number in the corner of their screen. I know I've missed them before. And I know if you're using the app sometimes it doesn't show up for a while... at least on my phone.
  • seltzermint555
    seltzermint555 Posts: 10,740 Member
    Who knows...but don't beat yourself up over it.
  • snowflake930
    snowflake930 Posts: 2,188 Member
    You would probably have to ask the people that you requested.
    However, your question intrigued me enough to read it. I have been on MFP for over 2 years and very successful. I recently closed my original account and opened a new one under a new name and am not taking, or making any requests for friends. You have to develop a thick skin here. Most people here are fantastic, but a few can really make it miserable.
    It is a personal decision how you choose to make your journey. Never easy no matter how you do it.
    I wish you great success!
    A fellow Minnesotan.
  • wheird
    wheird Posts: 7,963 Member
    I dont accept unless the person is bringing some personality to the table.
  • odusgolp
    odusgolp Posts: 10,477 Member
    I like to keep a close knit group of friends. Don't take it personally. We're all "strangers." Just keep requesting people you have an interest in adding with a message as you have been.
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  • oregonzoo
    oregonzoo Posts: 4,251 Member
    I like to keep a close knit group of friends. Don't take it personally. We're all "strangers." Just keep requesting people you have an interest in adding with a message as you have been.
    This
  • JenAndSome
    JenAndSome Posts: 1,893 Member
    Do you tell them you are a gay guy in your friend request note? If not I don't think that is the reason.

    Some people just don't want friends. I am not a person who feels the need to be friends with every new person I meet in real life, or on the internet. I am slow to warm up to people and, I hate to say it, but I am pretty judgmental when it comes to first encounters. If someone sends me a FR and something seems off about them or they say something I don't like I will decline.
  • So_Much_Fab
    So_Much_Fab Posts: 1,146 Member
    No, those aren't the reasons. Many people, myself included, don't accept very many friend requests (I'm happy with my FL the way it is now and am not really looking to add to it).

    Everyone has their preferences when it comes to having friends, so don't take the unanswered requests personally.
  • SezxyStef
    SezxyStef Posts: 15,267 Member
    I wouldn't take it personally really..

    Not everyone accepts all friend requests, some do....

    I wouldn't read anything into based on sexuality or surgery...
  • _crafty_
    _crafty_ Posts: 1,682 Member
    I like to keep a close knit group of friends. Don't take it personally. We're all "strangers." Just keep requesting people you have an interest in adding with a message as you have been.

    ^ this. I rarely accept friend requests that come from someone I don't recognize as having mutual friends or someone that I haven't seen/interacted with on the forums.
  • odusgolp
    odusgolp Posts: 10,477 Member
    I found out the hard way if you swear at all in your FR it goes *poof* and the person never even gets it.... unfortunately, I curse like a sailor and am open and honest most of the time, so I've had to learn to be more creative since then

    Ditto *LOL* I learned the hard way that an off color word can cause your request never go through. But as far as your surgery or sexual preference goes, I wouldn't point fingers at that being the cause for people to "decline." Maybe some, but most people really don't give a *kitten*. It's about that magical "connection."

    Like Bynsky and I. We were brought together by Pickles and Boobs. It just happens.
  • rml_16
    rml_16 Posts: 16,414 Member
    Not everyone is interested in being friends with everyone and there are a million possible reasons.
  • Muddy_Yogi
    Muddy_Yogi Posts: 1,459 Member
    I like to keep a close knit group of friends. Don't take it personally. We're all "strangers." Just keep requesting people you have an interest in adding with a message as you have been.
    This

    This this
  • RunnersLament
    RunnersLament Posts: 140 Member
    I would think around here it would be the latter and not the former.

    Some people around here view weight loss surgery in the same light... whether medically necessary or not. Some people view is it as the easy way out and don't distinguish vanity surgery from medically necessary.

    I'd like to think in this day and age that gender or sexual preference don't have a place on an online forum about weight loss (but maybe I am just idealizing it)

    Send me a request, I'll accept it as long as there is a valid reason and greeting as to why I should accept you. I don't accept friend requests unless there is some effort made to introduce yourself.

    Cheers!
  • Escloflowne
    Escloflowne Posts: 2,038 Member
    First rule of friend requests, don't be creepy in the FR, be creepy after they accept you!
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  • ink_b1tch
    ink_b1tch Posts: 101
    I sent out a few friend requests and never got a reply. I even included a note about why I was making the request. I guess I've always thought I could never have enough "real" friends. It makes me wonder why my request was ignored. I think there might be two reasons....first, I'm a gay guy....second, I've had Weight Loss surgery. Maybe these are the reasons?

    Maybe you are not sending to the right people. I have had surgery and have friends, and I do not think your lifestyle choices would make a difference, at least with me. So, I think you are just asking the wrong people.
  • nutmegoreo
    nutmegoreo Posts: 15,532 Member
    I like to keep a small list so that I can interact with everyone. Mine's actually getting bigger than I would like, but there's no one on it that I would want to unfriend, so they are stuck with me. :laugh:

    Everyone has their own reasons. Don't take it personally. Plus, if it is for either of those reasons, do you really want them as a friend? You can do better :flowerforyou:
  • spade117
    spade117 Posts: 2,466 Member
    Just put up a picture showing off some abs or cleavage...the FR's will start rolling in.
  • Jezebel_Barbie
    Jezebel_Barbie Posts: 198 Member
    I doubt those are the reasons, it may be for a minority of people but do you really want homophobic people on your friends list anyway? Join the forums and add people you've made a personal connection with. Random adds always make me suspicious, and I rarely add them back.
  • serindipte
    serindipte Posts: 1,557 Member
    Personally, I am more likely to accept a request from someone that I have interacted with on the forums. Most of the time, if I get a random request, it includes a copy/paste note or none at all.. those, I usually decline. (For me, wouldn't matter if you were gay, straight, purple, or had half your intestines removed)
  • TheSink
    TheSink Posts: 97 Member
    I only accept friend requests from clowns that live in the sewers.
  • devil_in_a_blue_dress
    devil_in_a_blue_dress Posts: 5,214 Member
    I usually only accept if I have mutual friends or the fr mentions something we have in common.

    I don't care who you sleep with or medical procedures you've had -- but if we have nothing in common, I don't see the point.
  • ILiftHeavyAcrylics
    ILiftHeavyAcrylics Posts: 27,732 Member
    Make sure you check the person's profile before you request. I'm not currently adding people because my list has gotten quite large and I like to be able to keep up with everyone. It's probably nothing personal.
  • tomomatic
    tomomatic Posts: 1,794 Member
    Have you tried browsing around groups for friends? I found that the DC group, MFP Gamerz group, and Nerd groups were great places. I think I even found a few in the Game of Thrones and Walking Dead group. But most of my FL comes from my interactions on the forums. It helps if I like their sense of humor or get mine.
  • oregonzoo
    oregonzoo Posts: 4,251 Member
    I only accept friend requests from clowns that live in the sewers.
    We all float down here.
  • emilyisbonkers
    emilyisbonkers Posts: 373 Member
    I only like to have friends who are similar to me in some way, ie similar weight goals or interests such as hula hooping. And I think twice about accepting men
  • Erin_goBrahScience
    Erin_goBrahScience Posts: 1,215 Member
    I found out the hard way if you swear at all in your FR it goes *poof* and the person never even gets it.... unfortunately, I curse like a sailor and am open and honest most of the time, so I've had to learn to be more creative since then

    Ditto *LOL* I learned the hard way that an off color word can cause your request never go through. But as far as your surgery or sexual preference goes, I wouldn't point fingers at that being the cause for people to "decline." Maybe some, but most people really don't give a *kitten*. It's about that magical "connection."

    Like Bynsky and I. We were brought together by Pickles and Boobs. It just happens.

    TIL that bad language in a FR prevent them from going though. I actually had no idea that this happened at all. Good to know.

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